Hi!  This looks like it could be an interesting idea.  Am I right in
thinking that the two trees in Tenchi's dream represent Sasami and Tsunami?

    Speaking for myself, I always assumed that Tenchi would eventually marry
ALL of the girls; his Juraian heritage does have the tradition of multiple
Empresses.  There have been fics written in which Tenchi does come to realize
that his destiny as Tsunami's most powerful creation means taking up the
challenge of guiding the universe as Jurai's Emperor, thus gaining a powerful
leverage in universal politics.  These are unusual, and I enjoy them immensely
when I do find them.

    The key to this whole concept is the girls who love him.  Tenchi has
wisdom and fighting ability (because of Yosho's teaching) and overwhelming raw
power (Tsunami's gift).  What he lacks is experience and knowledge.  The girls
have both, in their various areas of expertise, and would be able to serve him
as ministers and leaders, making up for his initial ignorance.  Also, what
better right hand would an Emperor have than people who have proven time and
again that they place his interests above their own (and vice versa)?

    For that reason, I tend to believe that Tenchi would not, and it would be
best if he did not, choose one of the girls over the others.  This is
reinforced by the quote Tenchi made when facing Kagato in the first OAV
series, when he said "I would never forsake any of them".  Also, it is made
exceedingly clear in all of the Tenchi series that Sasami is a very real
candidate as one of Tenchi's brides, and SHE, for one, takes it very
seriously.

    Remember, she has the appearance of an 8 year old, but she was alive when
Ryoko attacked Jurai!  She is really centuries old!  Even assuming that much
of that time was spent in cold sleep while she and Ayeka were hunting for
Yosho, it is an established fact that the people of Jurai's royal family live
as long as their tree does... and Sasami's tree is Tsunami.

    Here is a little C&C on the teaser:



Nall wrote:

Prologue:  Sasami's Wish
A Tenchi Muyo Fanfic by Tyson Roberts

---

"Tenchi-niichan!"
        There was no answer from the black void surrounding her.
"Tenchi-niichaaaaan!" the girl called again, more desperately.
        Running frantically, she called out his name, wanting help
desperately.  "Tenchi-nii-" the sound died in her throat as she screamed.
"I can't breathe... help me!" the words more mouthed than spoken as she
fell to her knees, gasping for air.
        The hovering image of a woman appeared before her.  The woman was
beautiful, her face marked with colorful paints, and her eyes very large.
She had pale skin, and when she looked at the young girl, she laughed,
mocking her.  "What a pitiful excuse for a jurai princess,"

    "Jurai".  It's a place name, so it starts with a capital letter.  The term
"juraian" can be upper or lower case because it is an adjective.  It would
depend on how you are using it.

she sneered.
"I'm suprised the great MOKU chose you."

    MOKU?  Must be a new character you are introducing.  Sasami was chosen by
Tsunami, one of the three "goddesses" of the Tenchi universe.  It seems
unlikely that another would dare to poach on her territory.  Also, Sasami does
have premonitory dreams because of her link to Tsunami, but they have never
been so specific before.  If there is a reason for "MOKU" to be interested in
Sasami, there would be obstacles to "choosing" her.  Perhaps you can rephrase
or expand this idea?

    (snip)

        Looking down, he confirmed this by an image of a huge forest.
Just as the sky above, the forest stretched in all directions as far as
the boy could see.  Tenchi was about to look elsewhere, but then, out of
the corner of his eye, he noticed something interesting.
        Ahead of him, the forest seemed to clear, forming a circle around
two trees in it's center.

    If it's ahead of him, he'd be looking right at it, not seeing it out of
the corner of his eye.

    (snip)

        As Tenchi approached the pair of trees to examine closer what he
saw, the trees began to change.  Almost inperceptable at first, the older
tree's leaves began to brown, and then fall from thier branches.

    (snip)

The whole forest was dying,

    A premonition of Tsunami/Sasami dying and all of Jurai dying with them?
The problem for me is that I don't remember Tenchi ever having a premonition
in any of the series.  Am I forgetting one?

    (snip)

        He lied

    lay

down on his side, and the little girl snuggled up in front
of him.  He looked down at her as she put her arms around him, seemingly
afraid of him leaving her.  Reassuringly, he put his arm around the top of
her small body and held her firmly.  Sensing this, she relaxed a little,
and slowly, contentedly, began to sleep.

    "She began to slowly sleep?"  That is a nonsensical phrase in English!
Just needs to be re-worded :-)

        Tenchi stayed up for a long time after that.  Despite his calm
exterior, he was actually quite shaken.  The dream had been very real to
him.  It had been more real than any dream he could remember in his entire
life.

    Oh, so it's supposed to be his very first premonition?  It might help if
instead of saying it here, you foreshadow this in the dream by saying that it
is more vivid than any he has ever experienced before at the start of the
description of the dream.

        Sasami had had a dream that upset her too.  She was a very strong
girl, Tenchi knew, but she seemed like a little flower now, small and
vunerable.  Suddenly he had an overwhelming sense of Deja'vu.

    Deja-vu or deja vu.

    (snip)

Her hair was put up for sleep, the traditional ponytails of Jurai
protected for the night.  He remarked how long they were.

    Improper use of the word "remarked".  It might be better to say "He
marveled again at how long they were", or something like that.

They seemed so
much longer than Aeka's tails, but that just could be because of the way
they stuck up in the air rather than the straight down style Aeka's took
on.

    Proportionally, they ARE much longer than Ayeka's.  They fall all the way
to the floor despite being held up in the air.  Also, Tsunami's hair is floor
length, if I remember correctly.

    (snip)

        He smiled.  She was so sweet lying there.  He wished for a moment
that she were a bit older, like Aeka and Ryoko.  She was so much easier to
get along with than the other two.  If only she were a little older...
        Tenchi abruptly stopped his line of thinking.  What was he
thinking?  He should not be thinking this way, he realized.  Whatever
happened, Sasami was eight years old, and right now a very scared girl
that had come to him because she trusted him.  He felt dirty for thinking
about her as anything a little sister.

        Looking down at her again, he berated the thought some more.
Besides, if she were the age of the other two, then he'd have yet another
suitor.  Yeah, that was all he needed!  He almost laughed at his
foolishness... almost.

    I'm not sure about this part... while it is IC for Tenchi, I'm not so
certain that he discounts Sasami as a suitor.  In the second TV series, which
is being released right now, Yosho certainly considers Sasami as a potential
wife for Tenchi.  While Tenchi would wish Sasami was physically older so that
he could express a more mature affection for her, he would not count her out
as a potential mate.  Rather, he would be mentally kicking himself for being
stimulated by her being in his bed, and because he was thinking such things
when she had come to him for reassurance.

        Looking down at her he sighed and-once again disturbed-finally
laid down to go to sleep.  His sleep resumed, but Tenchi did not rest that
night.

    Another awkward phrase.  First, he is ALREADY laying down.  Also, if his
sleep resumes, is it proper to say that he is not getting rest?

I am looking forward to seeing more of this- I really like Tenchi-Sasami fics!

Ja ne,
Larry F