Hello again!

	As you've noticed from the title, this is the latest
teaser for my current fic, Mi Vida Loco. But before you get 
to read it, there is something important that MUST be said.

	If you've read the FAQ for the FFML, you should know
that there is a rule against using a fellow author in your
fic without that author's express permission. And it's a
banning offence to kill off another author in your story.

	Now, this little scene I've written below comes VERY
close to crossing over that line. 

	Do NOT think that because *I* did it, you can too. I
wrote Tybalt first, submitted the teaser you're about to 
read, and _humbly_ requested Tybalt's permission to post it.
I had also agreed in advance that should Tybalt say 'no', 
this scene would never see the light of day outside of my 
hard drive.

	Tybalt, after reading it, and taking into account
exactly _WHO_ I was making fun of, agreed that this little
scene of mine was acceptable, and could be posted.

	In short, enjoy this teaser, but don't think that
YOU can do something similar without getting permission 
from Tybalt first.

	Now that the obligatory warning is over, I think
that those of you who've been on the mailing list long
enough to remember a certain annoying troll will get the
inside joke. Those of you who don't, ask someone who has
been on the list for a while. Or check out the 
rec.arts.anime.fandom newsgroup. You'll understand then.

	Have fun, enjoy, and take it easy.

	Ed Becerra

********************************************************

	"500 yen says he strangles the man in the next five minutes," Kei whispered 
to Yuri.

	"What odds?" Yuri whispered back.

	"2 to 1."

	"3 to 1, and you got a bet," Yuri replied.

	Ed fumed quietly at the customs official and glared at the ever-mounting 
pile of papers that the minor functionary was insisting must be signed 
before they could leave the docking slip.

	"I must ask you to open ALL bags and empty your pockets before you can 
proceed," announced the functionary in a smug manner.

	"I'll have you know, Mr.. Mr.. what the hell is your name?"

	"I have the honor to be T. Guy Underbridge III, and I'll have you know that 
I am the customs officer here, Captain Edwards. *I* have the authority to 
approve or deny your entry here, and there's nothing you can do about it." 
He sat down with an complacent expression on his face. "Now, if you will 
open your bags, we'll get on with my refusal to allow you entry."

	"Listen, buddy, the Central Computer itself sent for this guy, and he's 
supposed to be there already," snapped Kei. "Quit stalling, and pass us."

	"I can't do that. Rules are rules are rules. They will be followed no 
matter WHAT the circumstances are. No one is above the rules. Not even the 
CC," the official said in a pious, self-righteous tone.

	The cigar between Ed's lips snapped in two as he bit down. "All right. 
Here's the first bag. Feel free to search it." He handed over a small 
Gladstone bag, opening it.

	Underbridge sniffed disdainfully at the small leather bag. "How utterly 
plebeian," he sneered. "A common piece of luggage, fitting for such a 
uncouth person as yourself." He reached inside, only to yank his hand out, 
screaming in pain. "Something BIT me!" he shrieked.

	"Must be that rabid cabbit of mine," mused Ed.  "Kara-Ohki's a good pet, 
but tends to try to sneak into my luggage. Have you been inoculated against 
space rabies?" he inquired helpfully.

	"Importing dangerous animals, attempting to import an animal known to be 
infected with a dangerous plague, assault on a customs official, attempted 
murder, and possession of unlisted alien life forms!" hissed the smaller 
man. "I'm not surprised that a piece of trash like this is infested with 
rodents! You're going to jail, and the animal is going to the veterinarian 
to be examined, then destroyed!" Underbridge waved frantically at a pair of 
nearby 3WA port guards. "Arrest this man and detain him. If the trouble 
consultants attempt to interfere, arrest them as well!"

	"Uhh.. Sir? They're the Lovely Angels. THE Lovely Angels. Are you.. uhh.. 
_really_ certain you want us to do that?" asked one of the guards.

	"I SAID ARREST THEM!" Underbridge screeched. "Then put yourselves on report 
for refusal to obey orders!"

	The two guards looked at each other, their eyes rolling, then shrugged. 
Their disgust with Underbridge was clearly visible. "A man's gotta do what a 
man's gotta do," said the first as he strode forward. As he passed the 
counter that Underbridge had piled the forms on, his foot somehow managed to 
snag its nearest leg. He went down in a fall that looked about as realistic 
as Boy George's makeup.

	"My leg, my leg!" he moaned in a melodramatic manner. "I've wrenched my 
ankle!" He thrashed a bit, and then looked to his partner. "It's all up to 
you now, John!"

	John winced, then a look of realization lit up his face and he suddenly 
grabbed at his right calf. "Ahhhhg! Cramp! Cramp! I can't walk!"

	Yuri smiled and stepped over to where John was bent over, gripping his leg. 
Her dainty fist gently tapped him on the side of his jaw, sending him into 
spasms of the worst bit of bad acting since the death of Mel Brooks.

	Underbridge's eyes widened in apprehension as four sets of eyes turned his 
way. The corners of Kei's smile almost met behind her neck, when Yuri tapped 
her on the shoulder.

	"Don't you think we should help Minerva tidy up this mess?" asked Yuri, 
winking.

	"But I.. oh!" Kei's face lit up and she smiled at Ed. "Have fun!"

	"Quite courteous of you, Kei. I'll return the favor someday."

	Yuri, Zen, and Kei proceeded to move the two guards away from the entry and 
over to a more comfortable position against the wall. They smiled at the 
sounds behind them.

	"ACK!"

	"AIIIYEEEE!"

	"AAAAAAAAAAAA!"

	"NOOOOOOOooooooooooooo..."

	There was a moment of silence, then Ed strolled over, clapping the dust 
from his hands. "Rather suprising, isn't it?"

	"What's that, Ed?" asked Zen.

	"Oh, I never cease to be amazed as to just how small a space a _living_ 
human body can be successfully crammed into without causing any permanant 
injury." He frowned slightly. "I'll have to abandon that suitcase, though. 
Pity about that, some good workmanship went into that piece."

	The three trouble consultants looked over to the desk where Underbridge had 
been seated. An old-fashioned leather suitcase with external straps rested 
nearby, rocking violently. Its sides bulged with odd-looking lumps and 
muffled grunts and screams were coming from inside of it.

	"How..?" said Yuri, amazed.

	"Oh, a while ago I spent some time with a retired smuggler who used to 
ferry illegal immigrants across the American/Mexican border. You'd be 
surprised at just how versatile the human body can be when you're trying to 
fold it." Ed grinned happily. "Inspector Underbridge _did_ insist that he 
wanted to search my luggage. Now he can inspect it from the inside out!"

	Kei was hit by a fit of giggles. "It's a damned shame you plan on leaving, 
Ed. You'd make a GREAT trouble consultant for the 3WA."

	"Nah... I'd look AWFUL in a battle bikini."

	The four left the customs area smiling. A few moments later, one of the 
guards carefully opened one eye.

	"John?"

	"Yeah, Kenzo?"

	"Shouldn't we be reporting what's happened or something?"

	"Whaddya mean?"

	"About Inspector Underbridge, I mean."

	"I dunno about you, Ken, but as far as _I'm_ concerned, I intend to report 
what happened to the little shit just as soon as I feel healthy enough to 
stand up and walk over to the phone. I figure that'll be in about an hour or 
so."

	"A short nap, then?"

	"Works for me."

	The two guards smiled and enjoyed the muffled noises coming from the 
suitcase near the desk as they dozed off.


********************************************************

	Ed Becerra

	"Dreamers may die, but the Dream is eternal.."