*** 

The Roof

*** 

	The house was as still as a tomb.  I walked

Floated

	As quietly as I could past Tenchi, trying my hardest not to wake him 
up.  I crept up the stairs and once I reached the third floor, I opened the 
attic window and went outside.

	She was sitting in her usual spot, right above Tenchi's room.  Her 
back was to me, and I could see her body shaking with sobs.  She was so 
distracted that she didn't even notice me until I sat down beside her.  When 
she finally turned and looked at me, the new me, she just about fell of the 
roof in surprise.

	"Tsunami!  What... What are you doing here?"

	Her voice suddenly grew hoarse with fear.

	"Have you come about Aeka?"

	She was terrified of me.  She thought I was going to destroy her for 
what she had done.  I could see the tears increase as they fell down her 
face, but she didn't try to run from me.  She just sat there, waiting to be 
punished for hurting her friend.

	I smiled then, and put my hand on her shoulder.  When she saw that 
there was no malice in my eyes or hate in my soul, she leaned into me and let 
her tears flow.

	"There there little one, it's okay... it's okay..."

	After what seemed like hours, she stopped sobbing, wiped her face off 
and looked at me, all the time trying to regain her composure.

	"Does this... does this mean that...?"

	I nodded.

	"Aeka will be just fine.  I've seen to it myself."

	She smiled at me, then suddenly her face drained of color.

	"You... you're... you're not Tsunami, are you?"

	I sighed and nodded.  Her eyes grew wide with realization.

	"No I'm not... I'm Sasami."

	Ryoko stared at me for what felt like years.  Her eyes tracing every 
inch of this new foreign body before her.  A body that surpassed her own in 
every respect.  I sat patiently and waited for the question I knew was coming.

	"Why?"

	"Because Aeka would have died if I hadn't.  It was the only way to 
save her... and myself."

	Ryoko turned her head to the lake and gazed at the spot where it had 
happened.  After a time, she spoke.

	"It really was an accident, despite what Tenchi... said.  We were 
having it out like we always do.  It's turned into kind of a morning exercise 
for us, you know?  We were really getting into it today.  Both of us were 
opening up, pushing our limits... I... I didn't mean to put that much power 
into my blow... it just... happened.  I saw it go right through her force 
field and... oh god it... it... are you sure she's okay?  Are you absolutely 
sure?  I mean, she was..."

	Ryoko started to convulse with sobs as I laid my hand on her shoulder.

	"I'm sure.  I healed her myself."

	She smiled at me, her face a mask of relief.
	"Thank you Tsu... Sasami.  Thank you."

	We sat there in silence for a good length of time.  When she finally 
spoke, her voice was steadier, calmer.

	"So... are you going to stay like that or are you going to go back to 
normal?"

	I remained calm, even though the question made me freeze up inside.

	"This is who I am, and this is how I'll stay, Ryoko."

	She turned to me, now with new tears in her eyes.  Her voice started 
to loose some of the ruggedness it had gained.

	  "So that's it?  Good bye Sasami, hello Tsunami?  You're just going 
to keep her like that forever?  Why Tsunami?  Why couldn't you just leave 
well enough alone?"

	I knew this was coming.  Why?  Why couldn't anyone believe that it 
had been of my own free will?  Why couldn't they see?  This was MY choice!  
This was MY decision!  

But who was I?

	"I made the choice of my own free will, Ryoko.  Now I'll be an adult 
on the outside as well as on the inside.  It's still the same Sasami, I'm 
just a little more grown up, that's all."

	Ryoko shook her head at my answer.

	"You can change back though, right?  I mean, you can go back to the 
way you were, can't you?"

	A look from me and she knew.  

	A single tear rolled down her cheek, as her face grew rigid.  Her 
body stiffened and her gaze turned back to the lake.

	"So is that why you came up here?  To gloat?  To let me see once and 
for all what my punishment was for what I did?"

	"Ryoko, I only wanted to make sure you were all right..."

	She turned and slapped me so hard that for a moment, I thought I 
would fall of the roof.

	"Bull!  Now that you're like this, I'll have no... no chance...  You 
really want to know how I am?  I'm horrible, that's how I am.  After you 
left, Tenchi found me and...  I... he screamed at me, Sasami.  He told me to 
leave, that I had gone too far...  I... I didn't know what to do, so I hid up 
here.  I never thought he'd get that angry, that he would...  I didn't mean 
to do it, do you hear me?  I didn't mean to do it!  Why can't he understand 
that?  And now you're here with that... that body.  He'll choose you now, you 
know he will.  I've lost, for all time, any chance at what we had, what we 
could have had..."

	She reached out, touching the mark her palm had left.

	"Why couldn't you have waited?  Why did it have to happen so fast?  I 
always knew... I mean... ever since the Hot Springs... that you would come.  
Both of us knew what would happen, I just never thought... I never thought it 
would happen so soon.  I guess it's fitting, I loose my fri... rival only to 
be defeated by her sister."

	"Ryoko... I never knew..."

	She floated off the roof before I could console her.  With her back 
to me, she started to slowly vanish.

	"You've won, Tsunami.  Enjoy your prize."

	I watched as she turned to mist, then vanished completely.  I stood 
with my hand out, still hoping she would come back.  Why didn't they 
understand?  Why couldn't they see my reasons?

Why?

*** 

No Regrets

*** 

	I left the window open as I walked back into he house.  The night air 
was cool and had a pleasant scent to it.  I wanted that air to fill up the 
whole household and let everyone share in it.

	As I walked down the stairs, I could hear movement form the couch.  
Tenchi would understand, I just knew he would!  He was the most understanding 
person I knew!  He would see that it had been my choice, no one else's!  He 
would see that I'm not a little kid anymore, that I was capable of feelings 
and maturity, just like he was!  He would see...

	He had to.

	"Tenchi?"
	
	I heard him rise from the couch.  He was still half-asleep, but when 
he saw me, saw the new me, his eyes went wide with shock.

	"Tsu... Tsunami!  Are you here about Aeka?"

	I smiled and glided down the rest of the stairs.  I made my way over 
to him, smiling the whole time at the look on his face.  He was in awe of me, 
I could tell.

	"Don't worry about Aeka, I've seen to her needs already, Tenchi."

	I stepped back then, and like some schoolgirl with a new dress I spun 
in a circle, showing off my new adulthood.  My robes fluttered in the air and 
a giggle escaped my mouth.

	"Do you like it?  Tenchi please tell me you're happy for me, please?  
It would mean a lot to me..."

	He nodded, still wide-eyed.  I heard an 'uh-huh' escape his throat.  

	"Tsunami... you seem so... well, so different.  Is everything 
alright?"

	I giggled again and took his hands in mine.  I looked into his eyes 
and smiled.

	"It's me Tenchi, Sasami."

	For a moment he stood with the same expression on his face, then his 
eyes got even wider.  He looked at me again, this time in confusion.

	"Why did you... bond with Tsunami so soon?  Was it time for you to, 
or was this a choice?"

	"This was my choice Tenchi.  I asked Tsunami, she complied, and now 
we're one in the same.  You can call me whichever you like."

	He just kept staring, not knowing what to say.  A thousand thoughts 
had to be rushing through his mind, but I didn't care.  I only wanted to 
know, to be sure of one thing.

	"Tenchi I... I need to tell you something."

	I put my hand over his mouth, not wanting him to interrupt me.  I 
needed to tell him, to let it all out.  I took a deep breath and let my 
emotions flow.

	"For a long time, I've watched as the other's fought for your 
attention... for your love.  I know that you've never thought of me as 
someone who could... feel this way, but the truth of it is... Tenchi I love 
you.  I've loved you since the day I first saw the goodness in your heart.  
At first it was just a young girl's crush, but before long it grew to be more 
than that.  Maybe it was because of my link with Tsunami, or maybe it was 
because of my own inner emotions, but it doesn't really matter now.  I love 
you Tenchi, I always have and I know now I always will."

	I removed my hand from his mouth and took a step back.  If he was 
speechless before, he was mute now.  I had done it.  I had poured my heart 
out, not as a little girl, but as a woman.  

	<Is this your true reason for assimilation?  To confess a girlhood 
crush?  Is this why you threw away your adolescence? >

	Tsunami.  She was speaking to me inside of my mind.  I could hear a 
trace of bitterness in her voice as she whispered in my head.

	'No.  I already told you I did it to save my sister's life.'

	<And this idea wasn't playing around in your mind?  I know how you 
can plot, Sasami.  I've seen you extort from your sister before.  Tell me, 
was this just another form of extortion? >

	'No!  It's just that... things are happening so quickly right now.  I 
didn't know so many people would feel so bad about my choice...'

	<Sasami, growing up is all about time and how fast it can slip 
through your fingers.  You've traded the most memorable years of your life 
away. >

	'I traded them for Aeka's!  If I hadn't...'

	<If you hadn't saved Aeka, Washu would have.  You knew it too.  If 
saving Aeka was beyond her knowledge, then what hope could we have had? >

	'Please!  I just... I just did what I thought was right.'

	<No, you did what you thought was adult.  And now what shall we do, 
Sasami.  Will you regret your decision, or will you cast your regrets aside 
and look only to the future? >

	I moved forward, grasping Tenchi's hands in mine.  I pressed my lips 
to his and kissed him, letting my emotions take over.

	'No regrets, Tsunami.  Never again.'

*** 

	It was my first kiss.

	I'd seen other people kiss on television, and I had seen my father 
and mother do it too.  This one was mine, though.  I wanted it to last 
forever; the warmth of his lips against mine, the closeness of his body to my 
own.  It was... strange.  I didn't know what to expect, but I knew that it 
was different from my fantasies and dreams.

	I remember embracing him as tightly as I could.  I could feel his 
arms freeze, then slowly wrap around me.  I remember pulling him down to the 
couch, him tripping over his own feet while I loosened my Jurain robes.  I 
didn't know exactly what I was doing, or even why, but I had made a vow.

	No regrets.

	I could feel his body pressing against mine.  I could feel his 
warmth, his nervousness from my touch.  I felt new sensations and emotions as 
we continued.  Feelings of uncertainty, fear and excitement.  I remember 
removing his clothing when his own fumbling hands couldn't even find his belt 
buckle.  He let me take over, but I didn't really know what to do next 
either.  I remember...

	I remember the feel of his body next to mine, the closeness of it 
all.  I could feel my chest pressed against his, my heart beating a mile a 
minute.  When he... I guess you could say when he entered me, I felt a sudden 
twinge of pain.  Suddenly everything was moving too fast, too suddenly for me 
to keep up.  I remember feeling him tense, then move faster, but only for a 
few moments. 

	I closed my eyes as tight as I could.  I remember holding on to his 
shoulders so hard that I had bruised his skin.  It only lasted a few seconds, 
but during the entire time, I felt like something was horribly wrong, like 
this shouldn't have happened in the first place.    When he finally... 
finished, I remember feeling a wave of dizziness.  It was like a sudden shock 
of pain inside me, and at first I thought something was wrong.  I felt my 
whole body tense up at once, and a sudden cold chill racing through my body, 
leaving me disorientated.  He was breathing heavily from fear and excitement, 
and after a few moments, he started to calm himself, slowly letting his hold 
on me start to loosen.  Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, we were 
finished.

	I had read the books that Tenchi's father bought, even the one's he 
kept hidden high on the shelves.  I had read about men and women being 
entwined in passion, about heaving breasts and rippling muscles.  I had read 
about orgasms and pleasure and a thousand other things that were supposed to 
have happened.  It was supposed to have been exhilarating, intoxicating, an 
unending wave of pleasure.

	When it was over, he put his arm around me and tried to hold me, but 
I was feeling cold, feeling...

Guilt.

	I couldn't explain it, but all throughout my body, a voice screaming 
'this was wrong' kept echoing.  It wasn't uplifting, it wasn't a wave of 
pleasure, instead it felt more like... like my soul had a stain on it, and no 
matter how hard I tried I would never be able to get it out.  Even though the 
room was warm, I could still feel a deep cold to growing in the pit of my 
stomach.  Goosebumps started to form all over my body and I shivered at the 
cold that just wouldn't go away.  I tried to get warm in his embrace, but it 
was no use.  I looked up into his face and saw him smiling down at me, that 
same smile that I had seen countless times before.  That same handsome face, 
those same caring eyes.  He had chosen, and this time, the 'her' was me.

	So why did I feel so awful?

	I rose, gathering my robes.  Tenchi tried to follow, but I put my 
hand to his forehead and concentrated.  He fell back onto the couch, 
completely passed out.  I needed some time to think, to reflect.

	I needed some time alone.

*** 

Fukanzen no Sasami

*** 

	It's a beautiful night.

	The stars are reflecting off the glassy surface of the lake as 
Funaho's branches sway in the cool night breeze.  I lean against her strong 
base and shiver, even though it isn't that cold outside.

	My cold comes from deep within me.

	Here I am, huddling under this tree, wondering why I can't find any 
joy in what I've done.  Here I am, wondering what it is I'm supposed to do 
next.

	"Why do I feel this way?  What's happened to me?  Tsunami..."

	A glimmer of light appears over the water, and in moments a face that 
mirrors mine appears before me.  Tsunami, in all her glory, hovers in her 
translucency over the shimmering water.

	"Why Tsunami?  Why do I feel this way?"

	I see her float towards me across the water.  I feel her hand on my 
cheek, and in her eyes, I see her sadness.

	"Oh my little Sasami.  I wish I could turn back the hands of time, 
but what's done is done.  You're feeling guilt, Sasami."

	"Guilt?  Guilt for what?  I... I did what my heart told me to..."

	"That's the problem my poor little child.  You've dreamed of being 
Tenchi's equal for months, all the while letting your hopes and fantasies 
pile on top of each other.  You had built an entire fantasy world of a love 
that could never be, and when you saw Tenchi with..."

	I stiffen.  I know what she will say.  I know, and I don't want to 
listen anymore.

	"I'm sorry Sasami.  This is my fault.  I should have never agreed, 
but I couldn't refuse you, I never could.  I know I was being hard on you 
before, but that was to make sure I hadn't made the wrong choice.  I wanted 
to be sure you could handle the gift I had given you, and in doing so I 
pushed you beyond your limits."

	I feel her arms around me, and I let myself sink into her motherly 
embrace.  I can feel tears streaming down my cheeks, the tears of a child.  I 
know now that I'm not an adult, that even though my body and mind seem 
mature, my soul is still a child's.  Tsunami hugs me tighter and starts to 
rock me back and forth.  She speaks softly, and I can hear the pain in her 
voice.

	"I shouldn't have let this happen, but I didn't have a choice.  You 
know that I'm Tsunami, your ship, and I would obey you even if it meant my 
own death, Sasami.  I tried to tell you... Sasami I tried to shield you from 
all of this,  all the pain, but I failed, and now...

	"You feel guilt because even though you may have wanted to make love 
to Tenchi, your conscious knew better.  Subconsciously you knew that it was 
wrong; it was founded by false hopes, and that he was reacting out of 
instinct and confusion, not love.  Oh Sasami, you may look like an adult, but 
inside your soul is still young.  You're no longer a child, but you're also 
not an adult."

	"Then... what am I?"

	She strokes my hair and continues to rock.  I let myself start to 
sink into her robes as we sit huddled under the quiet branches of Funaho.  
Around us, fireflies start to emerge from the grass.  Soon we are covered in 
a blanket of soft, yellow light.

	"You're fukanzen, my little Sasami.  You're an incomplete being.  
You've never felt the evils of the world on your shoulders, so you don't know 
how to react when it starts to heap itself upon you.  My dearest Sasami, 
don't cry.  To be imperfect in such a way is a blessing.  That is the 
greatest gift of your childhood, and now... Now it is time to move on."

	I wipe my tears away and look into her eyes.

	"No regrets?"

	She smiles at me, and kisses my forehead.

	"Never regret life Sasami, as long as you never forget those that 
make it special."

	I know.  I know that she is right.  I'm still a child, but now I am 
more, now I am less.  I'm imperfect, incomplete, but I know now that to be 
incomplete is to have a purpose in life, to have a direction.  I know now 
that my life as a child is truly over.

	I know now that my life as an adult is just beginning.

*** 

Sailing Away

*** 

	And now here I am.  I left that night, taking nothing with me but my 
memories.  I keep thinking about them, my family back on earth.  I don't know 
what will happen once they realize I've left.  I don't know what they'll do, 
but I can't.  I can't focus on that right now.  I have to keep my eyes facing 
forward to the endless sea of stars.  I must turn a deaf ear to the voice 
that say to turn back, to back to his arms, to his love.  He had chosen me 
and now here I am, running away...

	But he didn't chose me, I chose him.  It wasn't an act of love, but 
of instinct.  I can't focus on that anymore.  He had chosen already, and 
she... she loved him.  With her, it wasn't some childhood crush or a false 
dream, but true, unconditional love.  I don't know if they'll still be 
together after everything that's happened... everything I've done.  I don't 
know.  I can't know.

	Now, Tsunami and myself are truly one in the same.  We both see with 
the same eyes, speak with the same voice.

	We both feel with the same heart.

	Before, I felt nothing but anger towards Tsunami for what had 
happened.  For the longest time, I didn't know how to react, how to cope with 
whom and what I was.  Before, I still felt pain, still felt the emptiness of 
guilt inside me.  Everything had been so sudden, so incredibly fast.  Before, 
I had felt nothing but bitterness for my actions, but now, now I know.  I 
know what I am.

	With a thought, the ship starts to move faster through the void.  I 
can feel my guilt, ever present, in the back of my mind.  I can still hear her

My

	Words from the lake.  I'm Fukanzen.  Imperfect.  Incomplete.  I'm 
still a child to the cosmos, and it's time for the child to grow up, once and 
for all.

	Right now, all I can see is the endless sea ahead of me.

	Right now, I have no regrets.

*** 

Author's notes:

Hi folks!  

	First of, thanks very much to K'thardin for proofing this story.  I 
can't think of anyone better to have editing a Tsunami sex scene.  ^_^

	Also, thanks to Leon-san for taking the time to pre-read this.  
Domo-arigato!

	Secondly, as always thanks to Gensao for providing the world with a 
place to find and post fanfics.

	Thirdly, so you folks know, this was a challenge.  I told the world I 
could write a non-perverted Sasami lemon, then set out to try.  I hope you 
consider this close enough.  ^_^;

	Finally, yes I know everyone was out of character slightly, but I 
don't give a hoot.  It's a lemon, and in the world of lemons, 12 year old 
girls can perform athletic feats the most flexible strippers would be in awe 
of, Blue haired demons are heroin craving addicts, authors/original 
character's can romp with any and every member of the TM! Cast and dead side 
characters from movies can be reincarnated.  It's a wonderful life, folks.

Tenchi & Co. belong to AIC and Pioneer

All C&C should go to BGlanders@aol.com