At the request of a friend, Im posting this.  It can be found at Gensao's 
TMFFA.


*

"Too many people overvalue what they're not and undervalue what they are."
										
-Malcolm Forbes

*** 

BGlanders presents...

Fukanzen

***	

This isn't the way it's supposed to go.

	There's supposed to be a happy ending, there's supposed to be love, 
love for me.  After all those months, all the waiting and hoping, it was all 
supposed to be so... grand.  So wonderful...

	This is still taking some getting used to.  The change in size, the 
new knowledge, everything.  After all, I was given the gift of the stars in a 
single day and I'm still trying to sort out the jumble in my head.  All the 
knowledge in the universe, and to heck if I know what to do with any of it.  
And my speech!  If anything has surprised me the most, its how the 
assimilation has changed my whole way of talking, of perceiving life in 
general.  Before, I would look at a flower and say, 'that looks pretty'.  Now 
I look and think 'that looks beautiful'.  It's this damn double mind that 
she's given me.  Suddenly, I'm not a kid anymore, but isn't that what I 
wanted in the first place?  No regrets, remember?

Damn you, Tsunami.

	I was supposed to find happiness.  Now look at me, huddled up under 
this tree like some scared little girl, trying to get away from the pain that 
I just know won't go away.  I try and wrap myself in the good parts of what 
happened, the joy that came from it...

	Who am I kidding?  I'd better stop before I make it something bigger 
than it was.  I'd better stop before I start crying again.  Oh, why am I so 
depressed?  Why can't I be happy for what happened?  Why why why

Why can't things ever go right?

*** 

The Accident

*** 

	It all started yesterday morning.  I remember I had woken up early 
because I had a special breakfast planned for everyone in honor of Roshtaria, 
the Jurain holiday celebrating the passing of fall and welcoming the winter 
months.  I was preparing my special miso soup when I heard the normal sounds 
of fighting from upstairs.  Ryoko and Aeka were at it AGAIN.  I washed my 
hands off and headed upstairs to stop them before they woke baby Mayuka up.

	When I got to the top of the stairs I saw exactly what I had thought 
I'd see.  Ryoko and Aeka were going at it full force while Kiyone and Mihoshi 
were trying to break them up.  From the sound of things, I could tell Tenchi 
was hiding in the bathroom.

	"How dare you Miss Ryoko!  To even think that Tenchi would want such 
a vile act preformed upon him as a 'wake up call'!"

	Aeka was in her normal morning kimono.  Ryoko was in her blue dress 
and both of them looked really upset.  Aeka's logs were already starting to 
form all though the hall.

	"Hey now!  I happen to think I'd be pretty good at that!  Besides, if 
anyone needs to be blown away right now, it's you Aeka!"

	With that, Ryoko let loose with a force bolt.  Aeka shielded it and 
prepared to strike back.  I tried stepping in between them, but it was no 
use.  Aeka picked me up with her force field ant set me aside before I could 
say a word.

"Stay out of this Sasami!  This is between Ryoko and myself!"

	Before long half the hallway was gone and the sun could be seen where 
the ceiling used to be.  Ryoko and Aeka then took their fight outside.  I 
looked to Mihoshi and Kiyone and knew that we were all thinking the same 
thing:

Let them blow steam.

	We all gathered and ate while Ryoko and my sister fought outside.  I 
got the usual praise of 'this is really good!' and 'wow, this sure looks 
great!'  It made me feel good to know that they appreciated my cooking, after 
all, this is my main chore around the house.  Everyone seemed to be enjoying 
themselves except for Washu.  She seemed to have a distant look on her face 
half of the time.  Suddenly Washu stood up and bolted for the door. We didn't 
know what was going on, so we all chased after her.

	We followed her down to the lake, and that's when we saw it.  We came 
to a dead stop, almost in a perfect line.  We didn't know how to take what we 
were seeing.  Washu rushed over and brought her holo-top up immediately.  I 
just stood there and stared.  I...I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

	She was kneeling by the shore, holding a crumpled form in her arms 
and shaking it wildly.  I could see the tears of fear streaming down her 
bloody cheeks.  I could hear the tremor in her frantic voice.  She was 
covered in blood; it had soaked into her clothes and had started to form tiny 
rivers in the earth around them.  I could see her trying to wake her up, her 
hand stroking her rival's head, matting her hair.  I started to run to them 
as fast as I could, all the time I could hear her shaky, hysterical voice.

	"Wake up!  Wake up!  Oh please wake up I didn't mean to hit you I 
didn't mean to oh god wake up why won't you wake up DAMN YOU AEKA WAKE UP!!!"

	Tenchi grabbed me before I could reach my sister, but he didn't grab 
me in time.  I got close enough to see... to see what had happened.  Washu 
was working franticly, already a table and several droids had appeared out of 
nowhere, ready to treat Aeka.  I knew that Washu knew what she was doing, but 
I also knew the truth in one frightening second.

	Aeka had a hole in her stomach the size of a bowling ball.

	"Tenchi!  Get Sasami out of here!  She shouldn't see this!  Kiyone, 
I'm going to need your help with Aeka.  Ryoko..."

	Washu suddenly got very quiet and looked Ryoko dead in the eye.  
Ryoko was still sobbing and clutching Aeka tightly.  I could still see the 
blood pouring out of... out of Aeka.  

	"Ryoko.  Let Aeka go."

	"Wake up wake up I didn't mean I didn't mean to oh god I..."

	"Ryoko.  Let Aeka go!"

	"...didn't mean it was an accident it was I oh I oh god oh Aeka I'm 
so I'm so I'm..."

	The slap was so hard it made Ryoko fall backwards.  As soon as her 
grip was loosened, Kiyone grabbed Aeka from Ryoko and put her on the table.  
Ryoko sat in the fetal position, sobbing and pulling on her hair.  Aeka's 
blood was starting to cake on Ryoko's clothes, but I don't think Ryoko cared; 
she was already going into shock.  I tried to get closer, to see if Aeka was 
going to be all right.  That's when I felt Tenchi trying to pull me away.

	"Come on Sasami, this isn't something you should see."

	I stopped and tried to break free from Tenchi's grip.  

	"No!  I'm not leaving her!  Aeka's my sister and if she... I... I 
want to be here with her!"

	I remember the droid's tentacles wrapping around me, then carrying me 
off towards the house.  Tenchi followed, then the machine stopped in its 
tracks.  

	"Tenchi, if you don't get her out of here, my robots will!  Now move 
it!  Kiyone, apply pressure here, we need to get her to the lab..."

	I could hear the anger in Washu's voice.  Anger at her daughter, 
anger at the accident, anger at the fact that I had to see what had happened. 
 Tenchi looked down at me, tears starting to form in his eyes.  Then he 
reached down, picked me up and carried me away over his shoulder.  

	I tried kicking, hitting, screaming, anything I could to get him to 
set me down.  I know that's not how a princess should act, but at the time I 
didn't care.  I remember getting farther and farther away from the operating 
table, from Washu...

>From Aeka.

	I remember feeling small then.  So many times I had thought of the 
others as equals to me, forgetting about my size and my age.  So many times I 
had tried to be an adult while the others acted like kids, and then there I 
was, being carried away on Tenchi's shoulder.  There I was, being treated 
like a little kid.

	Tenchi carried me all the way back to the house.  Once we were 
inside, he set me down on the couch and went to get me something to drink.  
When he came back, I was doing my best not to cry.  I was trying to act as a 
Jurain princess should in the face of tragedy.  

	"Sasami, are you okay?"

	I felt his hand on my shoulder.  I heard the sympathy in his voice.  
I buried my face in his shoulder and let my tears flow.  The shock, the pure 
horror of the whole morning was just too much.  All the while I was thinking 
of the reasons for it, and then I realized Tenchi was too.  I pulled back, 
wiped my tears away and knew that I was right when I saw the hate in Tenchi's 
eyes.

	"Tenchi, please don't blame Ryoko for this!  I know it was an 
accident, it just had to be!  They liked each other too much to do that on 
purpose!"

	He looked into my eyes, his own tears still lingering, and tried to 
speak in a calming voice, but I could see how mad he was.  I could see the 
hate in him at that moment.

	"Don't worry about either of those two.  I'm sure Washu will fix Aeka 
right up..."

	"What about Ryoko?"

	"I... don't know, Sasami.  I won't know until I speak with her face 
to face what will happen.  I'm... I'm so sorry for this, Sasami..."

	I hugged him again, the whole time thinking of how small I was in his 
arms, how tiny I was.  It wasn't fair!  It just wasn't fair!  If I were 
bigger, Ryoko and Aeka wouldn't have kept fighting.  If I were bigger, I 
could have stopped them!  They would have listened to me!  If only...

	I let go of Tenchi and backed away.

	"Thank you, Tenchi... I... I need some time alone now, if that's 
okay..."

	Tenchi nodded and gave me a smile.  

	"I understand Sasami.  I'll be here if you ever need anyone to talk 
to."

	He kept smiling at me even though I knew he was furious.  Furious at 
Ryoko for what she did, how she had hurt us and most of all, he was mad at 
himself for not being able to do anything about it.

*** 

The Confrontation

*** 

	I used to go out to the lake on summer days when the sun wasn't too 
hot and the water was calm.  I used to go there to get away from all the 
fighting and bickering, or when my kitchen didn't offer me any shelter from 
the scuffles.  Mostly I just went out there whenever I got homesick.  Funaho 
always reminded me of the Royal Gardens back home.  All the trees stacked so 
neatly in that beautiful tower.  I used to play hide and seek in there with 
Aeka.  For hours we'd run around and then, when mom started to call for us, 
we'd team up and hide from her, just because.

	Now that tree has a different meaning to me all together.

	I remember how I used to climb its branches and watch the world from 
my secret hiding place.  It was a little area that had grown just like a 
little fort and was just big enough for me.  I used to crawl inside there and 
watch as the others would pass by below.  I remember...

*** 

	I was hiding up there when he kissed her.  It was about a week ago.  
They were walking side by side by the lake, just enjoying each other's 
company.  I remember her walking out to Funaho on the stone path, then 
stopping right beneath me.  I remember Tenchi following behind her, then 
stopping as she started to speak.

	"Tenchi, I... I need to tell you something."

	He started to speak, but she put her hand over his mouth.  She wanted 
to get it all out.

	"Tenchi, ever since all this started, life has been one big 
whirlwind.  I know that ever since it all began I've... I've been in love 
with you, and that you've known it all along.  Maybe you didn't say anything 
because of the fights between... that woman and myself..." 

	She started to sob then, and her eyes filled with tears as her body 
shook in spasms of sorrow.

	"Maybe you were just too shy or maybe you... loved her.  I don't know 
what your reasons were, but I know that if I don't tell you now I'll never 
get the chance again.  Tenchi I love you!  I've loved you since I first met 
you!  I..."

	She was cut off by his kiss.  I kept as quiet as I could while they 
embraced below me.  I didn't know if he did it out of love or just to make 
her feel better, but I guess it really doesn't matter.

	He kissed her.  He chose her.

	And 'her' wasn't me.

	I didn't know what to do.  I felt like every part of me had suddenly 
turned to stone and that I was going to fall into the lake at any moment.  I 
wanted to cry, to scream, to jump up and ask him why?  I wanted to tell him 
to look at me, the real me.  I wanted him for once, just once to see me as 
something other than a child, something other than a little kid.  I wanted 
him to see that I had feelings, that I was just as good of a choice!  I 
wanted him to see that my love for him was real and not some girlhood crush!  
I wanted...

	I wanted him to see me.

	I didn't do anything but hide and watch.  I watched as they walked 
off, arm in arm, thinking they were alone, that no one had seen.  I waited 
until they got out of earshot, then I cried as long and as loud as I could.

*** 

	I ran to Funaho, tears streaming down my face and anger in my heart.  
I stopped at the waters edge, glaring at the tree.  Beside me I could still 
see traces of blood in the grass, but the others were gone.  They probably 
took Aeka back to Washu's laboratory.  I remember feeling the tears building 
up in my eyes again at what had happened.  I balled my hands into fists and 
screamed at the tree.

	"Tsunami!  By the Royal symbol on my forehead, by my families name!  
Heaven to earth, earth to ocean, ocean back to heaven!  Tsunami I want to 
talk to you right now!"   

	I felt the air around me get warm, and suddenly I was engulfed in 
light.  The next thing I knew, I was on the bridge of the Tsunami.  Across 
from me, over a pool of water, stood my other half and the ship's namesake.  
She looked at me with eyes that screamed pity.

	"I know why you're here, Sasami.  And I know what you've come to ask 
me."

	"Is Aeka going to die?  Well, is she?  I need to know, Tsunami.  
Please, tell me..."

	She floated across the pond and kneeled in front of me, her eyes now 
looking straight into mine.  She put her hands on my shoulders and spoke in a 
quiet voice.

	"Sasami, You know I can't answer that.  Right now she's in Washu's 
hands, and I can't think of a better doctor in the entire universe."

	I shook her hands off of me and did my best to stare her down.  

	"Why didn't I see it coming?  Why didn't my dreams tell me something 
would happen?  They always do!"

	Tsunami looked down, then spoke in a low voice.

	"I didn't want you to have to see that, not even in a dream, so I 
blocked it out.  I thought I could alter events so that none of this would 
happen, so that you wouldn't have to worry... I'm only trying to look after 
you, Sasami."

	"Why couldn't I see it?  Because I was too young?  Because a kid 
shouldn't have to see her sister die over and over again?  Why didn't you 
stop my other dreams then?  What made this one so special?"

	"Because, the others were... unclear.  Even to myself.  When I saw 
this one however, I... I knew that it wasn't a cryptic riddle, that it was 
real.  I wanted to shield you from that Sasami...  I'm sorry."

	"It shouldn't have happened.  It shouldn't have happened at all, and 
you know there's a way to save her, you know it!"

	Tsunami shook her head, sorrow written on her face.

	"Sasami, you know the only way I could save her would be to..."

	She stopped cold, a look of pure horror on her face.  She backed away 
from me, knowing what I was going to ask next.

	"Do it, Tsunami.  It's the only way."

	She shook her head, all the while pain showed in her eyes at my 
choice.

	"Sasami, if I do this, there will be no turning back.  Are you really 
that eager to throw away your childhood?"

	"If it means saving Aeka, then yes I am."

	"This isn't just about Aeka, is it?"

	"Of course it isn't!"  The tears, the ones that only a child could 
cry, started to pour down my cheeks.  "I've spent my whole life being thought 
of as a little kid, and until today I never really cared, but Aeka may die 
and it's because I wasn't big enough to stop them, or Ryoko may leave and 
I'll be too young to have a say, or Tenchi..."

	Tsunami's lips formed a bittersweet smile.

	"Or Tenchi might not love you because you're not 'mature' enough?  
Right now I'd almost agree with him.  Listen to yourself, listen to your 
demand!  Sasami these are obstacles that every child must overcome before 
they reach adulthood.  To try and avoid them like this, to try and grow up 
too fast... Are you sure about this?  Would you toss the gift I've given you 
away so freely?  The gift of a full childhood?"

	"If it means the difference between Aeka living or dying, then yes."  

	She sighed, then hugged me gently, like a mother hugging a small 
child.

	"You know that I will comply, but please Sasami, if you really want 
this, then promise me you'll take it and never look back, no matter what.  
For both our sake's, promise me."

	I nodded, and as I did, a strange glow started to come from Tsunami 
and myself.  She leaned forward and kissed my forehead, letting her tears 
fall on my face as she did so.  I could hear a slight tremor in her voice, 
and when she spoke, it was hardly a whisper.

	"So be it."

*** 

Fukanzen no Tsunami

***

	When I came to, I was lying on the shore of the lake.  It was night, 
and the stars overhead were bright and blinking in the night sky.  I picked 
myself up off the ground and took a step.

	Then I fell flat on my face.

	I cursed to myself, then picked myself up again, this time adjusting 
for the new legs.  Heck, I was adjusting to a new body.  The height, the new 
balance, the added weight in front, it was all so new, so... foreign.  I kept 
remembering that this was how Ryoko and my sister must feel every day.  Once 
I got my equilibrium back, I noticed that I was dressed in the same 
ceremonial kimono that Tsunami

That I

	Wore.  I looked in the lake to view my new body and found that my 
hair had gone from two ponytails to one.  I stood for a good five minutes 
just staring at the new me.  The whole time, I could feel Tsunami's presence, 
her spirit watching over me.  

	Once I had finished inspecting the new me, I headed back to the 
house.  When I walked through the front door, the lights were off and Tenchi 
was asleep on the couch.  I crept past him, not wanting to wake him up, and 
quietly entered Washu's lab.

	It was dark in there, darker than usual.  In the center of the lab, 
one solid beam of white light pierced the void and revealed Aeka in what 
looked like a glass cylinder filled with liquid.  A metal probe covered up 
her stomach.  I walked closer and saw Kiyone passed out from exhaustion in a 
chair in the corner.  She still had traces of Aeka's blood on her clothes and 
in her hair.  I put my hand on her forehead and concentrated with all of my 
might.  Slowly, the hand started to glow and a smile crept across Kiyone's 
face.  She had been working hard all day and I wanted to make sure she slept 
deeply.  Without turning, I called out to the darkness around me.

	"Will she live?"

	"It's hard to say.  It's been touch and go all day and now... Now all 
we can do is wait and see."

	I heard her before I saw her.  I knew that she had been watching.  I 
don't know how, but I knew where she was even before she spoke.  I knew 
before I had asked my own question.

I just knew.

	"So, I see you've gone ahead and assimilated her.  I was wondering 
how long you would wait."

	I turned, and out of the shadows of the lab walked Washu.  I answered 
her, and when I did, I felt as if I was two voices speaking as one, as if she 
and I had no meaning when Washu spoke of Tsunami and Sasami.  At that moment, 
I knew, and the knowledge frightened me to death.

	"Sasami made the choice, Tsunami agreed, and now I'm here of both our 
wills.  It was a decision."

	Washu nodded, a sick grin growing on her face.  

	"And tell me, was this decision totally prompted by Aeka's brush with 
death, or could it be more than that?  Maybe it had something to do with the 
fact that 'little' Sasami couldn't stop the fighting?  Maybe it even had 
something to do with Tenchi and knowing that it would be years before he'd 
even THINK of kissing you?  Tell me, 'little' Sasami, which is it?  One?  
Two?  Three?  Maybe all of the above?"

	I put my hands over my ears.  I could feel tears starting to run down 
my cheeks.  Why was she being so cruel?  Why was she talking like this to me?

	"Stop it, Washu.  Please, I... I didn't make this choice lightly.  I 
needed to, for Aeka, and for... and for me."

	Washu reached out, and like magic her holo-top appeared.  After 
typing for several seconds, she closed her computer and locked eyes with me.

	"I thought so.  You're so mixed up right now you don't even know who 
you are!  Have you been listening to yourself?  Sasami never talked like you 
do, but Tsunami did.  It's not just your body you gave up, Sasami.  You gave 
up a piece of your soul.  I hope to God you know what it is you think you're 
doing."

	I wiped the tears away; my confusion turned to rage.  How dare she 
speak this way to me!  I was a goddess!  I was

I was a child.

	"I know exactly what I'm doing.  I'm saving my sister's life."

	"And in the process," her voice grew soft as she moved towards me, 
"you've given up yours."

	At that moment, I saw pity in the mad scientist's eyes.  I saw the 
pain at having lost now two people that she held dear in one day.  All I 
could think of was that she was wrong.  I was still Sasami and I always would 
be.  The only difference was that now I had a body that matched my mind.  I 
was fine.

Just.  Fine.

	I smiled at her then, and touched her face.  She was so small 
compared to me, but I could feel her age at that moment.  I could sense the 
feeling of loss that had followed her all through her life.  At that moment, 
another floodgate of memories that were not mine exploded, and I stumbled 
backwards from Washu.  I stumbled backwards, staring in shock and sorrow at 
one who I suddenly knew all too well.  

	"Washu..."

	I moved to her again, that time the tears in my eyes being those of 
sorrow.  Sorrow for my sister, who would never find happiness in her humanity 
until that too was lost in the emptiness of immortality.

	I turned then, trying to avoid eye contact with Washu and focused on 
my other, my real sister.

"Aeka..."

	I moved towards the cylinder, not knowing if I was walking or 
gliding.  I suddenly felt detached, disorientated... like I was suddenly in 
two places at once.

No.

	Like I was suddenly two people in one place.  I felt a power start to 
course through my body, and once I reached Aeka, I let my instincts take 
over.  Aeka started to glow in her capsule, and a strange bluish light 
suddenly exploded throughout the lab.  I was awake, alert, but I didn't feel 
scared.  In fact, even when the light grew so bright I couldn't even see what 
I was doing, I felt as if there was nothing to fear, that everything would 
turn out all right.  

I just knew.

	When it was over, I dropped to my knees from exhaustion.  It was 
done.  Aeka was safe.  Washu moved to help me, then turned and opened the 
stasis tube my sister was in.  A mass of tentacles dropped from the ceiling, 
wrapping around her and carrying her gently to an examination table.  When 
Aeka was safe, Washu came to my side and gently helped me up.

	"You poor child.  What have you done?  What have you done...?"

	I stood up with her help, then turned to her and spoke in a drained 
voice,

	"I did what was needed.  Aeka would have died if I hadn't and that's 
something I couldn't allow."

	"You don't know that.  I could have fixed her in time.  Now instead 
of losing my daughter's best friend... I've lost my own..."

	I had never thought of it like that before.  Washu and I talked a 
lot, but I never considered that with such a difference in age between us 
that she considered me a friend.  Of all the members of our family, she was 
the one that was the most distant.  

Of all the members, she was the one that knew how I felt.

	Washu and I walked over to where Aeka was lying.  After a few 
commands on her holo-top, the metal probes over her stomach vanished, 
revealing smooth, un-scarred skin where a hole had been only moments before.

	"Amazing.  The powers of the Light Hawk are practically unlimited..." 
 

	Washu stood in awe of my work.  I suppressed a slight smile.  After 
all, my magic had just driven her science into the ground, and she didn't 
even seem to care.  I stroked the side of Aeka's face, satisfied that I had 
done my part.  She was safe, and that was all that mattered.

	As I walked to the door, I heard Washu's voice behind me, cutting 
through the air like a knife.

	"Aeka's healed now.  Good, then your job is finished, but you're 
still here and Sasami's youth is still lost.  I really must ask myself if 
this was a fair trade off, in the end."

	I stopped a meter from the door and spoke without turning.

	"What do I have to say or do to make you understand?  What is it that 
you need to know?"

	"I have only one question left for you, my dear little Sasami."

	I turned to face her then, and once again I was taken back by the 
sorrow in her eyes.

	"So what happens now?"

	"We all make choices Washu.  This was mine, and now I have to live 
with it."

	As the door to the lab closed, I could hear her whispering.

	"Yes you do, my little friend.  Yes you do."