Red-Head MST...
****************************************
(We open the scene with Washu looking at a letter, while the Tardis is moving up
and down and all around.)
Ryouga's voice: Dear Mother-in-Law...I hope you don't mind being called
Washu. Anyway, Ryo-oh-ki and I are doing fine. The babies turned out to be
perfect little pigs, cats, pikachus, rabbits, and cabbits who all turn into
ships. Strangely no one ever gets lost, but I suspect Ryo-oh-ki's been playing
with my genetics at night while I'm asleep. Like Mother, like Daughter I
suppose. Anyway, we're doing fine. We plan to visit you whenever you get back to
the house, since we all are living there. Tell Ranma that Akane's been taking
care of me and I do wish he'd make love with her soon. I don't know how much
longer I can be her living dildo. Er, don't mention that last part. See you
soon...Your son-in-law...Ryouga Habiki. (Washu puts down the letter. Her eyes
are in tears.)
Washu: My goodness, he's quite the young man. (She takes a look at the letter
again.)
Ryouga's voice: P.S.: We've discovered gold and oil in the backyard. Do you want
a share in the wealth? Please respond at P-chan_bwee@karaohki.net. (Washu
face-faults.)
****************************************
On Sun, 4 Apr 1999, Rob Barba wrote:
Date: Sun, 4 Apr 1999 10:53:15 -1000
From: Rob Barba <ashita@cchono.com>
To: FFML <ffml@fanfic.com>
Subject: [FFML] [fanfic][A!MS/A!MG/OMG!/Whichever way you prefer to call it]Goddess?!?! Oh My.... Part One
Goddess?!?! Oh My....
Part One: Past Imperfect
By Rob Barba
A-ko: Uh, I think Mr. Barba needs to revamp his title.
Izumi: Yeah, it's so clichic.
Ranma-chan: Like that uncute-no-good tomboy whapping me with a mallet.
_OMG!_ Is the intellectual property of Kosuke Fujishima, Kodansha, AnimEigo,
Dark Horse, et al.
<><><><><>
Every year, it was the same. It was a promise they kept throughout the
ages and despite harsh times, they always stuck to it. Neither of them was
sure how it started and didn't really intend it, but all the same it
happened. Maybe it was a sign of friendship. Maybe it was a sign of
understanding. Maybe it was a sign of mistrust, and keeping tabs on your
enemy. It didn't matter, either way. It was an annual event for the two,
and the fact that it had lasted for hundreds of years signified that it
wasn't going to go away any time soon.
Andrew: God and the Devil meets in Los Vegas and drinks the night away...
Washu: Now that would be something I'd like to see.
Urd sat in the Starbucks in Shinjuku, across the street from the
northern entrance to the Shinjuku train station. It was a cold, rainy
winter in Japan, and the place was crowded. They'd agreed to meet here this
year, the two of them, and although her companion would have preferred
something a little more lively, it was Urd's year to choose and for some
reason she felt like something as nice and calm as this would have been
perfect.
Lina: A Starbucks? What, the local dead end wasn't available?
Luna: I'll have a double-tall Columbian Narino Latte...
Andrew: I don't think they have that flavor.
As she sat at a window-side table, sipping on a cappuccino as she
watched the rain descend from the sky to the cityscape below and the hustle
and bustle of the mortals carrying on that wondrous symphony called life,
she patiently waited for her friend. After a few minutes of that, she
started reading the newspaper and ignoring the men trying to pick her up on
a date, looking for what was playing at the movies this week.
Kasumi (from Pokemon, imitating Urd): Let's see...Like Water for Chocolates is
playing again?!
Oddly, the
attention of the menfolk was something she didn't want to deal with at the
moment, though maybe later she would.
Ranma: And maybe Pikachu would get a clue and buy a handgun.
A second later, right on time, another woman wandered into the store.
Dressed a little more conservatively than normal, she wandered up to the
sales counter and ordered a Turkish Coffee, straight, taking only a second
to wave joyfully at Urd.
Luna: You mean there were only two women in the entire Starbucks? Typical male
fanfic writer!
Lina: Sis...I'm gonna have to make you drink decaf from now on.
A minute later, coffee in hand, she went over to
the table. Urd stood up and gave her a friendly hug which the woman
returned. On any other occasion, this would have seemed way out of the norm
for either, but today was their day, a day when the pretenses were down, and
they were just people, not religious embodiments. Even so, still under the
circumstances it was odd, but the other woman let it slide. A second or two
later, both women, clearly foreigners in a foreign land, sat down as good
friends do, beginning idle chatter in the language they'd agreed to use for
these meetings, English.
Andrew (imiating Urd): So, Mara, how was being Monica Lewinsky?
Washu (imitating Mara): Not bad...in fact I also gave the Chinese our most
precious trade secrets?
Andrew (imit. Urd): You mean the nuclear arms deals?
Washu (imit. Mara): That and how to defeat Microsoft.
"So, Urd," Mara asked, removing her scarf and taking a sip of her
witches' brew of a Java blend, "What made you choose this place this year?
I would have though that you would have preferred somewhere sunnier, like
Sydney, or Johannesburg or somewhere in the Southern Hemisphere, where it's
a nice summer day or something."
Washu (imitating Urd): I'm sober. I can't function if I'm sober!!! I get too
danged depressed!
Lina (imitating Mara): That's what I love about you as a friend...
The demon's accent was an American one, an
affectation she said she picked up from a previous assignment, an
interesting man by the name of Charles Manson.
By contrast, Urd's accent spoke purely of a Continental influence; being
a deity of the northern reaches of the European continent, old habits died
hard. Shrugging, she replied, "I just felt like having a nice coffee, then
maybe we could spend some time together chatting for a change, instead of
what we usually do. The Imperial Botanical Gardens are nearby, and some of
the flowers out now are absolutely breathtaking."
Andrew: And what do they usually do?
Ranma: She's the goddess of love, and she's the demon of hate. See how they get
off on the next Jerry Springer! (Lina hits Ranma in the gut.)
Mara raised a brow in suspicion. "Botanical Gardens, Urd? That's very
unlike you. I would almost think that your younger sister's rubbing off on
you."
Andrew: Mara, you don't even know half the story.
The darker woman smiled demurely. "We all have our moments, Mara. I'm
not a party girl all the time, even though my sisters and in-laws think I
am. I just didn't feel like getting drunk or ending up sleeping with some
guy or girl I wouldn't think about the next day or casting a spell on
someone or what have you. There are some days where I just want to be Urd
Wodendottir, everyday Norwegian girl living in Japan." She set down her cup
and said, "Surely, there are days when you don't want to be Mara--whatever
mortal last name you use...."
"Blood," the woman filled in. "And no, I don't have those kind of days.
A-ko: Blood? Figures.
Luna: Hmm, I would have gone with Lilith myself.
The only reason I'm dressed like this is because of the weather, Urd." That
comment earned the demon a patient stare from the goddess, until she
relented. "Okay, so I have my days when I just want to kick back in my
apartment in Manhattan, smoke a joint, drink a glass of wine, and listen to
Enya. There's my dark secret, okay? I'm an Enya fan. Are you happy?"
Andrew: Now *that's* evil.
Lina: Hmm...Enya...evil...
Urd suppressed a giggle, took a sip of her cappo, then continued. "I
never pictured you as the New Age type. Wasn't aware there was the concept
of evil there yet."
Mara waved her arms as though she were giving a business briefing.
"Hey, pal--Brave New World out there. Gotta be proactive nowadays, or your
side'll put me out of a job." Smiling slightly, she then admitted, "This
may sound odd coming from me, but the music is so beautiful. It transcends
good or evil; it just is. That's why I like it. I may listen to Danzig and
Ozzy most of the time, but that doesn't mean that I'm staid in my ways."
Andrew: I thought she'd be a Marylin Manson fan.
Ranma: Even he's too evil for her.
Washu: True.
Urd nodded in agreement. Killing off her coffee, she said, "Well, I
feel up to going to that Garden. Want to? The rain's stopped, and with a
little luck, it won't continue for the rest of the day."
"And if it does, you can easily fix that, right?"
"Yes, but I prefer not to. We goddesses like letting things run their
course, you know." Ignoring the look of absolute disbelief on Mara's face,
she stood up and slipped on her coat, before commenting, "So you want to go
or not?"
Ranma: Actually, I'd call her bluff. The Gods have certainly played with my
life.
Andrew: Yeah, they must be really searching for good entertainment if they're
messing with your life. They don't even give you a proper laugh track.
Mara downed the remainder of her syrupy drink, and said, "Sure.
Probably should walk off the caffeine overdose that this blast is going to
give me in a few minutes."
As Mara stood up, and put her scarf and coat on again, Urd stared at the
black mess that was holding the brew Mara drank. "I'm surprised it didn't
eat through the paper."
"Well, I do have to admit, it was kinda weak," Mara said as she grinned.
"Lead the way, Ms. Wodendottir."
"If you insist, Ms. Blood."
Andrew: You know if your coffee's strong if...
Washu: ...it slaps you in the face.
Ranma: ...it melts your spoon.
Lina: ...you try to drink it all, but the coffee resist going down your throat.
A-ko: That's sick.
<><><><><>
Twenty minutes later, the pair walked amongst the tastefully decorated
grounds of the Shinjuku Imperial Botanical Gardens. Children were at play
in the puddles, a few couples walking hand in hand as they sensed the world
circled around them as all couples do. Elderly people, in the twilight of
their years, sat on already wet benches, enjoying the park and watching the
ravens as they flew from one locale to another, streams of darkness in an
already dreary day. The odd artist or photographer was to be seen, taking a
picture of the scenic lakeside teahouse, or of the many chrysanthemum
blossoms set in beautiful repose.
Washu: Then the mob comes by and mows 'em all down.
Andrew: The paragraph seems kinda blah and ordinary.
Ranma: It's not really that necessary, I think.
Urd and Mara walked down one of the pebble-strewn footpaths, bringing
them close by the small bamboo forest, with a shrine and a tori gate in its
center. As the pair entered the grove, Mara sensed something was odd. It
wasn't as though she felt the repulsion of good--on this declared day of
neutrality between the two entities, she would not be made to feel the
battle between good or evil--but something from Urd.
A-ko (imitating Mara): It's that time of the millennium, eh?
Something that the
demon couldn't quite put her finger on, but it was definitely something that
was out of the ordinary for the Norse goddess of the past.
A soaking wet, flea-ridden, and mangy stray cat cautiously approached
Urd, then and rubbed itself against her leg. Picking it up, Urd magically
dried and healed it and began to pet the small cat, enjoying its rhythmic
purring as she gently stroked its back. "Would you like me to keep you,
girl?" she asked the tabby, knowing the animal's gender without even needing
to check. "You seem like you need a home, and I think I can provide that."
Ranma: Well, there's nothing like a little pussy...(an anvil comes down and
lands on Ranma.)
Andrew: No puns, please.
The cat, continuing to purr contentedly, said nothing contrariwise, so Urd
said in a coy manner, "Your wish is granted, little one. In fact, I think
I'll name you...." She stood there for a second or two, in gentle thought,
trying to come up with the perfect name for her new pet.
"How about 'Providence'?" Mara offered, in a somewhat sarcastic tone.
"That's perfect, Mara! Thanks." Urd placed the cat on her shoulder,
and Providence assumed a perching position, being as gentle as possible to
her newfound mistress. Seeing what the tabby had done, Urd smiled
beatifically, commenting, "Well, she's not an owl, but it makes for a nice
offset, don't you think?" Before Mara could comment with a what-the-hell,
Urd tsked and commented, "Isn't she so beautiful? Just like the world, just
like everything in it." Urd gave off a girlish giggle, a slight smile, and
continued to walk off though the grove.
Mara immediately figured that something was wrong with the goddess.
Something very, horribly wrong. "Urd, are you okay?" she asked. If
something was wrong, maybe Mara could help today, or if not, the information
would be much to her advantage later on. "You're not acting like your usual
self. Usually by now, we'd be passed out at a bar, or picking up guys or
girls at some wild party somewhere--maybe both, when the whim arose."
Andrew: Urd not being a slut? That's a first.
"Yes, but I don't feel like doing that anymore, and I'm not supposed to,
at any rate. Did you know I was promoted recently?" the platinum-haired
beauty commented as an aside. "Goddess First Class, Unlimited, now. I've
waited forever for this raise, and now that I have it, life feels great!"
Washu: For the record, Gods and Goddess do have to pay income tax.
Andrew: You mean this tithe thing?
Washu: No, the IRS has billed God for years since it came into existance.
A-ko: The devil did this, huh?
Washu: No, he gets billed too. It's the only thing that hasn't been created by
God or demon.
Andrew: And I thought they were joking when they said that they could tax the
dead...
"'Anymore?' 'Not supposed to?'" Mara spluttered. "Urd, you not feeling
like doing fun things is like your sister Bell suddenly...." With clarity
it dawned on her. Goddess First Class, Unlimited License. There were few
deities with that class of license, and Urd's younger sister was one of
them. But with her marriage to the mortal Morisato Keiichi, she didn't
perform her job as much as she used to. It had been at least a year since
Mara and Bell had crossed paths, and with Mara's latest duties of trying to
start a nuclear war between India and Pakistan, she really didn't keep track
of her old assignment.
Andrew: Yeah, yeah, blame it on Mara.
Washu: I wonder why she didn't pull it off...
Ranma: Actually, I heard she's partial to cricket. I saw her in the stands at
that perfect cricket game between India and Pakistan not too long ago...(Washu
looks surprised.)
Washu: I didn't know we had on Tardis.
Izumi: And a satellite dish!
With the Norse goddess' nuptials to Morisato, she'd
effectively lost that assignment, and there was no need to go back into that
mess. The only reason she wasn't punished for that was because she was
found to have been outgunned in more ways than was possible, so the Dark
Lord gave her a new assignment.
In truth, the assignment was a banishment of sorts. She'd failed, but
she'd failed in a position that anyone would have. Punishing her would not
have been conducive to the condition of morale down below, and if anything,
would have caused greater dissent. By giving her an assignment that was
virtually useless--since warring was written into the genetic code of
humans, anyway--the Dark Lord was getting rid of an embarrassment without
really getting rid of her.
Andrew: Ah, Japanese working hell. You aren't fired, you're given an perpetual
office job.
Mara could honestly say that her current job was
one that she thoroughly detested but that there was little she could do
about it. If there was some--any--way she could get out of it, she would in
a heartbeat. But that wasn't the problem at hand. The problem at hand was
Urd, and her outlandish--or rather, lack of--behavior.
"You know, my sister gave birth to twins last week, one boy and one
girl," Urd said, unaware of Mara's thoughts. "Names are Tennosuke and
Verthandi. They're just the sweetest little things, you'd never know they
were demigods. I don't think that's sunken into Kei's mind yet. But with
my sister so busy with the little ones, Skuld and I have had to scramble to
pick up the pace. And frankly, we just can't do it without the need of a
Goddess First Unlimited." As the pair approached a vending machine, Urd
reached into her pocket, pulling out a 500-yen piece and dumping it into the
unit. Tapping the Georgia coffee button twice, a pair of slender brown cans
ejected from the machine. Gathering the two warm cans and her change, Urd
passed one to the blonde.
Taking the can, Mara inquired, "So, what does this have to do with you?"
Lina (imitating Urd): Well, for starters, I haven't had sex in months...
Everyone else: Lina!!!
Urd frowned a little as she said, "In order to deal with her children
and marriage full-time, Bell did something that hasn't been done in a while:
she retired. Although she still gets to retain her full powers, she's now
classified as a Goddess First Class, Retired. Basically, she can't do
anything more than low magic unless the situation requires it. It limits
her basically to the same usage as a Goddess Third, Limited, but she's happy
with that. And seeing that she's happy, I'm happy for her." She opened her
can and took a sip, the warm brown liquid rolling down her tongue. "Not
Irish coffee, but I guess it'll have to do, right?"
"Sez you." Mara opened the can, downing half of it in one gulp.
(Everyone looks at Andrew.)
Andrew: Hey! So, I drink like a horse! What's wrong with that?
Ranma: That's why my family's last name means horse...we drink like it. At least
Pops does.
"Anyway, doesn't that leave you without a...." She looked at Urd, and a
disturbing thought suddenly entered her mind. "You didn't, did...." The
answer was so blazingly obvious now, so much so that Mara swore under her
breath because of her inability to figure it out. "You're the Goddess of
the Present, now, aren't you?"
A-ko: You know, that last quote should be taken out. It gives it a bit of a more
surprising quality.
Akemi: You've been reading my creative writing books, haven't you? (A-ko
blushes.)
"Been it for three months now." Urd smiled gently as she steered them
towards the sculpture garden section of the park, trying not to make light
of the facefault that Mara had just committed upon hearing confirmation of
Urd's new job. "Bell recommended me. She told Father that despite my, um,
occasional indiscretions, that I was the one best suited for the job. There
were others in consideration, but unlike Peorth, Aurora, Kismet, or anyone
else considered for the position, no one has the programming skills that we
do. As a Norn, I'm already familiar with the jobs of the others, to a
certain extent. But the clincher was the fact that we Norns are sisters. I
don't say it much, but I do love my sisters as much as they do me, and it
takes a lot to find someone who would mesh with us in this manner."
"But doesn't having no Goddess of the Past upset the balance of things?"
Mara didn't know whether to drop her jaw or laugh. This was so off the
natural scale, it was hilarious.
Andrew: I wouldn't laugh if I were you Mara...
"I'm doing a double-shift. Not easy, but it the fact that I was willing
to do it for Bell's sake and the fact that she recommended me for it led
Father and the senior staff to grant me First Unlimited, although it's
probationary pending an evaluation of how I do in the job." She gave a
smile that was so sunny, it had to be faked. "Personally, I'll bend over
backwards to get the job done."
Mara started to giggle. "But you're not exactly Goddess of the Present
material. You have to be nice, optimistic, and all that...."
Lina: So, Urd wants Mara to get her some uppers?
Ranma(shrugging): Eh, works for Kasumi.
Urd continued to have that plastic smile on her face. Speaking through
her pearly whites, she said, "And you have no idea how hard it is to do it,
either. Giving up drinking and partying was hard. Buckling down and
re-studying the magic tomes was mind-numbingly harder. Acting like Bell
sometimes is outright murder. But my sister has a family now, and I have to
do what I have to, for her, Keiichi, and for my nephew and niece. Besides,
the personification isn't always the whole of the job--I'm allowed a little
leniency in how I handle the position. I'm trying to do a little of Bell's
style, mixed in with my 'learn to live a little' traits."
Mara just started laughing. "You as the Goddess of the Present? Do you
realize how much easier you've made the job for all of us on my end? No one
is going to stay in your alignment, Urd!" When Urd began to get cross, Mara
said, "It's just funny. On any other day, I would be rejoicing in this
news, but not today--"
"--and not tomorrow, considering that isn't your line of trade anymore,"
Urd said archly, interrupting the demon. "Don't think I haven't kept track
of you, Mara. Word on the etherways is that you've been put out to pasture
for failing to beat us. That they can't obliterate you because you're a
symbol of what could go wrong, but you've been given a useless assignment."
Akemi: Ouch. That had to hurt.
Mara looked at Urd with a jaundiced eye. "None of your business, Norn."
Urd wasn't giving up that easily. Scratching Providence under the cat's
chin, she said, "Just between you and me, Mara--just us--are you happy?"
Lina: She's a demon, do you expect her to be happy?
Mara gave Urd a venomous stare. "Fuck you, Urd. I'm not one of your
blessed little recipients of a wish." Urd, however, simply took her cat
into her arms, stroking her soft fur, waiting for an answer. Mara looked at
one point as though she were going to either hit the Norn with a full-bore
magic blast or simply deck her, but her anger deflated as she droned, "No,
I'm not. I feel...I feel as though my existence's work, my reputation has
been destroyed." The demon sighed and admitted, "I would do just about
anything to get out of this nowhere job."
Andrew: "Singing in Nowhere Land...Doing what Noone can...."
"It's a sad thing, but maybe things will turn out for the best." Urd
played with her cat for a bit before she added, "You know, the way the world
is going, it's getting so that a goddess can't keep up with two jobs
anymore. I submitted my recommendations for the new Goddess of the Past
last month. You won't believe how much paperwork it took, but I got them to
trust me on this one--and considering that included Skuld, that was some
serious opposition to the appointment."
"Ooh, a chance to scope out the new competition, hmmm?" Mara said in a
catty tone. "Who'd you recommend? Luna?
A-ko: Nah, would she'd sleep through an emergency.
Luna: No, I think she was refering to ME!
Lina: Gee, I didn't know...
Luna: It's wasn't much. Besides, I refused to join the Diety Union #324.
(Everyone face-faults.)
Emeraude?
Izumi: Are you kidding? That girl has got to be the female Captian Taylor!
Serenity?
Andrew: Nah, she's way too dumb, besides, how can you respect a girl gets
overshadowed by a guy wearing a mask blowing roses in her face. She'd might as
well be Kodachi for I care.
Tsunami?
Ranma: Not after what she did to Tenchi in "Ten-chi."
Washu: Isn't he going to the same psychatrist that treated those Sailor Moon
cats after being in those Oscar fics?
Ranma: Yeah.
Gotta be someone you three got along with, though you three pretty much keep
to yourselves, right?" Her throat feeling weird for some reason, she drank
the remainder of the coffee. This day had already proved to be full of
surprises, even for a demon, and even a supernatural entity could be
surprised by the degree of change that had occurred in the past few hours.
Urd genuinely gave her brightest smile as she said, "You, Mara."
Lina (imitating Urd): Congradutation, Mara. Here's your present.
The sight was pretty comical as Mara's eyes grew wide and she spat out
the coffee she was drinking, a tan fountain that spread out in a conical
spray, making her look like a living fountain statue. Urd, however, paid no
mind and instead focused her attention on a beautifully designed shrub that
was made to look like a crane in flight.
Luna: Ah, come one, Urd. You'd like that.
*"WHAT?!?!?!?!?"* Mara shouted. *"ARE YOU NUTS!?!?!???"*
Urd snapped her fingers, and produced a scroll. "Here, read. It's a
contract. Not one of those Soul-damning ones you carry around, but an
actual change of side contract. We had our Legal/Commandments department
draw it up, and they say that it's ironclad, with no loops that could come
back to be used against you."
A-ko (imitating Mara): Well...throw in a Coors six-pack and I'll be a good
little girl!
Mara held the thing as though it were a thing that could strike her down
permanently. "Do you realize that I could be obliterated just for looking
at this? My superiors don't bother me about this annual meeting, because it
allows me to scope out information that we wouldn't get conventionally. But
if they seriously thought that I would switch si--" She nearly threw the
thing back at Urd, but she stopped, in hesitation. "Urd, things like this
just don't happen. I'm forgetting that this conversation ever happened, and
I'm going back with the report that the Norns have effectively lost it and
are now a weak spot in the Spirit Realm's defenses."
Andrew: Mara, you've just signed your death.
Ranma: If a demon can die.
Andrew: Right.
But the tanned-and-toned goddess had already hit her stride. "Mara, I
won't deny it--this contract is risky for you. You'll have to start off at
Goddess Third Limited, but that's only until the probationary period is
over, after which you'll be promoted to Goddess Second Unlimited. I know
that you could be targeted by every demon above Third Unlimited, but I
talked to Security, and they're willing to assign a senior operative to
defend you until you're capable of protecting yourself. Additionally,
you'll have Skuld and me, and even Bell will do what she can."
Akemi (imitating Urd): And then we can drink the entire night away!
Mara was hesitant. Even hesitancy would be bad, if she were being
watched. "What about Skuld? What does your sister--both of them--think?"
"Skuld's not thrilled about my choice, but she's willing to give you a
shot. Bell's supportive, as always. Remember, we all grew up together, so
they do know you better than most, right?" Urd sighed, not in the sensuous
manner that she used to, but in a tone that was more like that of Belldandy.
"However, the rest of the Heavens are split over this choice. Father
believes that if I'm willing to make this choice, then so be it. Others,
like Ameratsu and Maui, think I'm making a huge mistake. Time, of course,
will tell."
Ranma: I'm beginning to believe that Kami-sama is Charlie Brown.
Washu: Kami-sama does have problems flying a kite even now...
Andrew: I lean to the "big mistake" side.
Akemi: Bet you 10,000 yen Mara goes through with flying colors!
Andrew: Deal.
Mara was very hesitant. By all rights, she shouldn't even be
entertaining thoughts like this--it was against her very nature, but...but
the truth was, the offer was attractive. Very attractive indeed. As though
it was a forbidden item--and for her, that was such a condition--she looked
at the contract, treating it like a treasure. Basically, it was offering
her something very attractive, but more important, it was offering her a
chance to start over. She knew that she would be stuck in her nowhere job
for eternity, and that meant a very long time. If she joined the rival
organization, she would start at the bottom again, true, but the fact was,
it would be a chance to--dare she say it?--redeem herself. She looked at
Urd and asked one simple question, the most important one: "Why?"
A-ko: Maybe Urd needs a soul mate.
Lina: Maybe this is how Goddess take revenge against a demon.
Urd turned away, stroking Providence's fur as she said, "You wouldn't
believe me if I told you."
"Try me. This is my existence we're talking about."
In a quiet, somber tone, Urd answered, "Because...you're my friend.
(Everyone face-faults.)
Yes, we spend most of our existences trying to destroy each other, trying to
ruin the others' plans and generally making the other miserable. But on
this day every year, this day that only we and our direct superiors know
about, we let go of our jobs and just be who we are underneath the mantles."
Turning to face her again, she said, "How do you feel about me?"
Andrew: If Mara french kisses Urd, I'm leaving.
Mara's answer was rough, automatic, and vitriolic.
Ranma: Whoa, "Vitriolic!" I'm gonna have to get out my dictionary for that one!
Kasumi (looking confused): But, Ranma, you don't have a dictionary. (Ranma
face-faults.)
"I hate your guts,
Goddess. I want to tear out your entrails and chew on them. I want to rip
your head off and shit down your neck. I want to do all that and more."
Still looking into the emerald eyes of the goddess, the demon answered, "And
I've never really been comfortable with that, because you're...my...." She
trailed off, unable to say it, then bucked up the courage to complete her
sentence. "Because you're my friend, too. You've always been that to me.
Really, the only one I've ever had."
Mara looked at the contract once more. Everything was out in the open,
all laid bare. If she signed the contract, her existence was in jeopardy,
and she would have to spend years, decades, perhaps even aeons with a
protector. Just by this hesitation, she could consider herself on the
terminal listing if she went back to Hell and they found out about it--and
terminal in this case really meant terminal. She could go freelance, but
mostly only ghosts did that, and attitude aside, she preferred working for a
group, an organization that could give her tangible benefits that she would
lose if she went into business on her own.
Washu: Gee, do you have to spell it all out?
But the biggest reason of all was something that even a mortal could
understand. Her current job was a wasteland in comparison to her old one.
This offer gave her a chance, but gave her something even more tangible,
even more important--a chance to have something that was genuinely lacking
in her life: companionship. Sure, she'd been laid more times than most
imagine when she got to play the role of succubus, but one of the things
that aggravated her the most about the Norns was their companionship and
love with each other despite their bickering, and the joyous and rapturous
love that existed between Keiichi and Belldandy made her absolutely livid
with envy. Maybe, just maybe, this was the chance of a lifetime, a chance
to have everything they did.
Andrew: Or maybe she realized it was time for a career change.
She looked at that ivory parchment, and realized that although Urd
hadn't intended it, the decision was already made. Not only was Mara
threatened by her own side if she did or didn't, but it was Urd's very
admission of friendship that had provided the catalyst. Had this not come
up, it would have been just another day, as normal, with a return to the
hostilities the next day--a hostility that Mara felt she no longer wanted.
By her own will, she summoned a pen into her hand, ready to commit to a
change that would affect her existence forever. Clicking the gold and
silver stylus, she readied to put her signature in golden ink to the dotted
line.
Lina (imitating Mara): Uh, Urd-chan, what's with this line saying I have to go
to Microsoft conferences?
As she readied to put pen onto paper, there was a sudden inhuman shriek,
followed by the world going dark. A second before, the pair was standing in
the middle of the sculpture garden. A second later, they were in a dark
valley of sulfur pits and granite stalagmites. Foxfires and Will O' the
Wisps skittered and shimmied around, and there was a series of wavering
growls that sounded only vaguely reminiscent of a dog. From the darkness
just beyond where the two women stood, a voice, sultry and dangerous called
out, "Mara, the Boss would like to see you."
Andrew (imitating Mara): Great, Hitler wants to see me.
Mara's eyes widened. She knew who it was. "Hac Tou Gui," Mara said, a
lump rising in her throat.
Urd set Providence back on her shoulder and called out to the voice,
"I'm not impressed by your histrionics, whoever you are."
A-ko: Yeah, I've seen better special effects from the Tron movie!
Raising her hand,
she canted, "Nature of light, nature of spirits, cleanse this place and
shine forth your holy light!" There was an explosion of light as every tree
and bush, every blade of grass and flower in the immediate vicinity began to
glow with its inner light, lighting up the sky and surrounding area,
creating a spot-lit arena of sorts.
There, standing in front of them was a young woman dressed in opulent
Chinese finery. Her yellow eyes were like those of a cat, and the park
crimson of her hair blew gently in the breeze. There was a sensual quality
about the woman that was very much in similarity to what Urd or Mara were
capable of, and she reveled in it. Standing around them were those that the
pair had encountered or seen during their walks in the park. They had been
turned into soulless zombies.
Ranma: Well, time to clean up!
"I will make it clear to you, Mara," Hac Tou Gui commented, in a tone
that dripped pure sensuality. "If you leave that paper be and come with me,
I will make your death as easy as possible. If you sign it, then I have
been assigned to hunt you down and kill you with as much pain and sadism as
possible." The archdemoness smiled. "And I guarantee, it will be a
pleasure."
Washu: I see it's one of those Damned if you Do, Damned if you Don't kind of
things.
Andrew: As if Catch-22 became the demonic bible or something.
Urd placed Providence in Mara's hands and stepped in front of her,
hissing, "Sign it!" Then facing her opponent, Urd drew herself up from her
mortal visage to that of her true colors and intoned, "I have no idea who
you are, demoness, but you'd best not cross the Norns. We protect our own."
"She is not one of you yet, Norn," the reply came, "and I don't fear
you, anyway. I am Hac Tou Gui, the Chinese demoness of black magic.
Between my army of Geong Si and I, we will tear both you and your little
apprentice to shreds. I am a Demon First Unlimited, and my Geong Si are
numerous enough to get through your defenses, Norn. After all, you are but
one, and as of now, Mara is no longer powered. As of now, we rescind her
office. She is now nothing more than a human."
A-ko: Is it just me, or does this seem so phony. If she wanted to kill the two
of them, she could have done it with all of this pomp and circumstance.
Ranma: Evil doesn't know any other way.
A quick red flash blasted around Mara, and suddenly, she felt weaker,
less sure of herself. She felt the weight of mortality instantly descend on
her like the inevitable onset of night or the force of gravity and she knew
the truth: she was mortal, human. She was now defenseless, and with no one
to protect her, save Urd. She was still capable of fighting, true, but
she'd mindlessly slaughtered enough humans over the aeons to know that such
a person was no challenge. She a person as she was now.
Urd said, "I can protect you now, human, but I cannot protect you
forever. Only you can make that choice." Urd called up a sphere of power,
and felt horrible for saying that. That would be a stab in Mara's side, not
only that she had to be protected but that Urd, her onetime enemy and friend
had to be the one to do it. Assuming a combat position, she held the
sphere, ready to loose it at her opponents at any second.
Gui looked at the now-human Mara and the Nordic goddess with a tight
sneer. Finally, in a soft voice, she said, "Kill them, my slaves."
Fear can be a wonderful method of motivation. Spurned on by the
once-human things coming after her, Mara immediately put pen to paper, and
moved the writing instrument to and fro. Golden ink moved in swirling,
ancient patterns, writing the name of the human, who immediately began to
feel a warmer, stronger energy begin to cascade throughout her entire body.
Kasumi (imitaiting Mara): Uh, Urd, what's with this clause saying I have to
appear in Ranma 1/2 movies?
Power began to rise in her, and she began to feel lighter, somehow giddier.
As she removed the pen from the parchment for the final time, the pen, there
was a burst of light as she suddenly became immersed in a rippling ball of
an energy she couldn't identify or comprehend. The energy burned into her
soul, seared into her mind, but at the same time, didn't hurt, and felt more
like the caress of a feather. Finally, the dynamic sphere popped, dropping
her to the ground, though very gently.
As she struggled to get back to her feet, she felt a hand at her side,
and a voice say, "It's all right. We all felt that the first time." Mara
turned to face the person who was talking to her, and she came in direct eye
contact with Skuld. "It sounds weird saying this," she admitted, "but
welcome to the family."
Lina: Yeah, here comes the initation.
"Thanks," Mara replied to the younger goddess in a dizzy, shaken voice.
"I feel so light-headed, like a hangover."
"Don't worry!" Gui shouted as her zombies grew closer. "You'll have
plenty of time to taste *REAL* pain soon enough, traitor!" The Chinese
archdemoness began to utter a horrid, terrible laugh. The three goddesses
recoiled slightly, not only from the nature of the evil in that laugh, but
especially Mara, as it wasn't too long ago that she used to do the same.
"Skuld, get Mara out of here," Urd said as she loosed the first of her
spirit bolts at a zombie. "I can deal with these poor, tortured souls long
enough to cover your escape." The bolt smashed into the creature, and
turned the thing into an incandescent hominid. When the light disappeared,
the restored human fell to the ground, mercifully unconscious and unaware of
what had happened to him. Three more bolts were loosed in short order,
restoring a schoolgirl, a salaryman, and a foreign tourist, but even so, the
zombies kept on coming, their numbers far greater than initially seen. More
bolts lashed out, but it soon became clear that the zombies far outnumbered
Urd's spiritual ammunition.
Ranma: But she's Unlimited? How can she have limited ammo?
Skuld helped Mara back to her feet. "Ready to go? You'll be traveling
with me," the young girl said, as she produced a small bottle of water,
"since you haven't had time to adjust, and we don't know what your traveling
medium is, yet."
"No way," Mara hissed, trying to force herself back to her feet. "No
way am I going to give that bit--"
Skuld hissed a warning for Mara to drop the profanity.
"--ter demoness the satisfaction of seeing me run," Mara completed,
without a hitch.
"C'mon, you'll do the Norns no good if you die, Mara!" Skuld
interjected.
As the Geong Si drew closer, it became a numbers game. Even Urd wasn't
capable of taking on that many in such a short time. Taking a second to
turn back to Skuld, Urd shouted, *"SKULD, get Mara out of here NOW! I don't
know how much longer I can hold them off!"*
"Excuse me, but am I interrupting something?" a new voice said. Into
the circle of light walked a young woman, apparently not much older than
Skuld. She had long brown hair and eyes, the latter behind round
eyeglasses. She wore a beat-up brown leather jacket, a gray sweatshirt, and
faded blue jeans, down to a pair of white midtop shoes. Although you
couldn't tell from what she was wearing, she she didn't seem to have much of
a build; her face, likewise, was somewhat unremarkable, though clearly not
ugly. Her voice had a rusty quality, and on her face, she had an earnest
and innocent expression. All in all, she was rather cute, in a Plain-Jane
sort of way.
(Everyone looks puzzled.)
Andrew: Who the heck is that?
Ranma: So that's what Akane's been doing all of this time!
"You know," girl observed, "this looks awfully unfair."
Gui snarled in rage. A normal human, standing there? She couldn't see
anything special about the woman, nothing at all. The chances of something
like this were admittedly astronomical, but it did happen before. The human
was a harmless insect, nothing more. "Mind your place, mortal, and you may
come out of here alive, though I'll take your soul!"
"Sorry," the girl replied, "but I kinda prefer it where it is,
currently." With no fanfare, she reached behind her and pulled out a
blue-steel 9MM pistol. Pointing it in the general direction of the zombies
yet not really aiming it, she said, "I'll take that apology, now, if you
would."
A-ko: Heh. My kind of girl.
"A toy!" Gui laughed. "What makes you think you can actually hurt me
with that, insect?"
Still with a bored, disinterested tone, the girl commented, "Only one
way to find out for sure, right?"
The Chinese archdemoness shrieked, "I'll take your head for that,
mortal! Get her!"
Making an aside comment to the other three women present, she sighed and
said, "And they never learn."
Andrew: New paragraph should start here.
That said, the girl went from casually
holding the gun as though it were a water toy, to that of a lethal weapon.
Depressing the trigger rapidly at an incredible speed, she began to loose
the gun's payload at three to four times the speed that Urd had been
attacking.
However, no silver bullets or conventional projectiles bucked from the
muzzle of the weapon. Shafts of silvery-blue light roared forth, each
crashing into the zombies and restoring them on contact. Despite the
numbers, the girl continued her assault, firing until there were no more
zombies left. Once they were gone, she pocketed the gun and made a fist
with her right hand. A shaft of golden light flickered into life, and the
girl said, "So, Gui, would you care for round two? Preferably without
harming innocents, hmm?"
Gui stared at the girl with a mixture of rage and astonishment. "You're
not a mortal, are you?"
The girl smiled. "Depends. Care to find out?" She brandished the
sword and stepped into a combat position, and from the looks of it this girl
was no stranger to swordfighting.
Washu: Hmm...maybe this is Sasami...nah...
Gui's eyes narrowed. "You win this time, Norns. But next time, you
won't have a mysterious friend backing you up, and I'll eat your hearts!"
Shaking her fist at them in fury, she snapped her fingers and vanished.
With that, the pocket of darkness collapsed, and the four women stood alone
in the sculpture garden, surrounded by dozens of unconscious, but otherwise
unhurt, people.
"Let's get out of here," the woman said, unceremoniously. "There's a
kissaten up the path, and we can talk there."
<><><><><>
(Everyone ducks.)
A few minutes later, all four ladies sat around a table, sipping tea and
munching on cookies that the new girl had provided.
Lina (drooling): Mmm...raisin cookies.
"Thank you for coming," Skuld said. "For a second, I was worried that
we were goners. I shoulda brought something with me, but I wasn't thinking
about it at the time," the young Norn said, the tones of embarrassment
creeping into her words.
A-ko: Say, Skuld, can I see your ID?
"No problem, Skuld," the girl said, sitting there and just trying to
look kawaii...and not entirely succeeding, as dull would have been a more
accurate term. "The security department was taking forever to make up their
minds as to who would be willing to take it, and it came down to Athena and
I. Since you and I have been friends for a few centuries now, I only
thought it would be best if I stepped in."
"Thanks!" Skuld said, gratefully.
"Excuse me," Urd said in her nicest voice, "but I don't recall your name
or face. Are you a deity, or an angel?"
"Deity, and to answer the next question, yes, I intentionally try to be
as drab as possible. It makes others underestimate me, which can be fun if
you play it right."
Skuld said, "Urd-nesan, Mara, this is my friend Joan. She's the goddess
of the French in her pantheon."
(Everyone face-faults.)
Andrew: Oookay...
The girl groaned. "Skuld, we prefer the term 'Saint'. 'God' or
'Goddess' is too pretentious for our tastes." Skuld shrugged a sort of
apology as the girl continued, "And you know me. I just want to be as far
from pretentious as possible."
Mara thought for a second or two, then said in a surprised tone, "You're
Sainte Jeanne D' Arc?" When the girl nodded, Mara said, "Now that's ironic.
You fought and were killed by the English, and here you are, speaking it and
being introduced as Joan."
The girl took off her glasses, then pulled a cloth out of her jacket
pocket. "Well, I've been hanging around North America for the past century
or so, so I've grown used to English, and besides, I'm not one to hold a
grudge. And as to my name, I prefer Joan. I was born as Jeanette, and
lived most of my life as Jeanne. But Joan sounds so nice and dull and not
as exotic as the other two." Wiping her glasses, Joan commented to Mara,
"So, you're my new assignment. Are you worth it?"
Kasumi: Boy, for a French gal, she gets to the point.
Mara growled in annoyance. "What do you mean by that?"
Still wiping her glasses, the girl said, "Well, an hour ago, you were a
mortal enemy of all of us. Now, you're one of the club. I just want to
know if you're worth my time and efforts, O Norn Goddess of the Past."
Akemi: Boy, they don't give you much honeymoon time.
Joan
slid her glasses on, put the cloth away, and fixed Mara with a stare. It
wasn't the normal stare of a woman searching for something. There was an
ageless quality in that gaze, more than penetrating, more than examining.
It was the look of a commander searching for heroism in a junior soldier.
It was the look of a cleric searching for piety in an acolyte. It was the
look of a girl staring into the face of a woman, searching for answers to
questions never asked.
After a few seconds, Mara found that gaze uncomfortable for some reason,
then turned away. As she did, Joan leaned back in her chair and said in a
soothing tone, "Well, this should prove interesting."
A-ko (imitating Joan): Her father was a cabbit and her mother smelled of
elderberries.
Andrew: A-ko, that's not exactly a strong insult.
A-ko: It wasn't an insult. The fact that your fly's open, is. (Andrew's eyes get
big and he starts to big-sweat. Everyone else laughs.)
"What should, Joan-chan?" Skuld asked.
"Mara here believes that she's not ready, that she's not worthy. She
believes that that Urd made a mistake in choosing her, and that you're all
doomed for that choice." Joan then grinned as she said, "I also see that
there's something about her that doesn't fit the usual demonic profile.
She's a misfit, just like me. I kinda like that." She gave a lopsided grin
and said, "Well, as your bodyguard, I'll be around for quite a while, until
the danger has passed, and that may take a millennium or two--hell tends to
have a long memory."
Lina: The first part of the quote, should be whispered. I mean, Mara shouldn't
need to know that.
Andrew: Hmm, does hell have a long memory?
Ranma: If hell's like Akane, yeah...
"Well, what next?" Mara asked. "Should I just go back to my apartment,
or...."
"Taken care of, Mara," Urd assured her. "Got done talking to Keiichi
and Bell."
"While you were here?" Joan commented, then corrected herself as she
added, "Oh, that's right--your pantheon allows for omnipresence at the Saint
level."
"Sometimes, it comes in handy," Urd admitted. "Anyway, you'll be moving
into the temple with the rest of us. Since Keiichi's pulling in enough at
his job, he's added a second floor to the house--mainly a room for the
twins, and a couple of guestrooms. Mara, we can move you in there. Keiichi
and Bell are willing to give you a chance." She paused and said, "Oh, and
you're welcome to stay as well, Joan."
"Well, that's all well and nice, but I already arranged to get an
apartment across the street from you guys."
"Thought you didn't do the omnipresence," Skuld said to her friend.
"I don't. I'm just practical, so I arranged for my angel to set up a
place. Claudette should be just finishing up now."
Ranma: You know, if that Chinese demon wanted to get rid of the protectors, she
shoulda get Azusa running after them.
Joan rose from her
chair. "Well, ladies, I suggest we get going if we're going to do this. We
don't have all day, and I have other things I have to attend to, and I'm
sure you guys have to start training Mara on her new duties, oui?"
<><><><><>
(Everyone ducks again.)
Later that evening, Mara stared at the stuff in her new room. Although
she'd kept some of the stuff from her old place, most had gone by the
wayside--like the drugs, S&M gear, Satanic equipment and all that. Now, the
room didn't look that different from Urd's room. In fact, Urd had the room
next door.
Everyone: How convieeenent...
There were, of course, some new additions: new curtains, color scheme,
drapes, sheets, and linen, and a lot of the leather and spandex in her
closet had been removed and replaced with something slightly more in line
with Heaven's dress code. In the corner, over by the bed, next to her
dresser was a brand new tower than in fact was actually a local server for
the Yggsdrill computer system. As goddess of the past, Mara would have to
familiarize herself with the computer coding, and while she was excellent at
the programming language of reality, she was more adept at writing viruses
and bugs than fixing them. Still, it was her new job, so she'd have to do
her best at it.
Washu: That shouldn't be hard. Former Virus Hackers tends to be the best ones
for programing and preventing other hackers to plant viruses.
Mara turned and looked at the mirror image of herself now, and another
layer of the shellshock she'd been receiving all day came upon her. She
knew that she would eventually lose her demonic markings, but in truth that
had already occurred, and as a result, she looked so different now.
Akemi (imitating Mara): Oh, my Goddess, I've become Anna Kournakova!
Ranma: Like that's a bad thing.
Originally, she'd had those two large red ovals on her face that looked like
an extra set of eyebrows or symbolic horns. Now, they'd been replaced by a
small blue arrow shape in the center of her forehead, and a matching one on
each cheek. Her countenance, which usually gave the average person pause no
matter what, was replaced by a sort of serenity that she could never seem to
project previously. Just another change in her world, another thing that
gnawed at the pit of her stomach, forcing her to realize that she was no
longer the person she was just scant hours ago.
Andrew: The author doesn't need to spell everything out. It makes reading this a
bit boring.
She thought back to Joan's words: (("Mara here believes that she's not
ready, that she's not worthy. She believes that that Urd made a mistake in
choosing her, and that you're all doomed for that choice. I also see that
there's something about her that doesn't fit the usual demonic profile.
She's a misfit, just like me. I kinda like that."))
Lina: In other words, she's fit to be a host on USA.
Well, Joan might like that, but it was clear that the rest of heaven
didn't. Many of them did hold grudges and such against her, and if she was
caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, she would be in deep, dark
trouble. Truly frightened for the first time in her life, she sat down on
the bed holding herself and shivering. It was all she could do to hold back
the tears and the fear.
Ranma: Man, I hate to see a grown goddess cry.
There was a knock at the door, and Mara invited the person in. The
person turned out to be none other than Belldandy. "Oh, hello, Mara. All
settled in now, or is there anything I can get for you?"
Ranma: Same ol' Belldandy. I swear, she and Kasumi are like so close.
Mara noticed that
Bell looked so different now from when she'd last seen her. Her goddess
markings were gone now, indicating her retired status, and her aura was
greatly diminished, to a level not much stronger than an angel. Admittedly,
while she still had all of her full powers at her disposal, Bell seemed much
more at home being pseudo-mortal than she was as a goddess.
"No, I'll be fine, Bell, thanks," Mara said in a shaky voice. "I
appreciate all of this, though. I know I haven't treated you and Keiichi
that well in the past."
Kasumi (imitating Belldandy): That's okay. Your plots never worked anyway.
Bell gave that little smile that seemed to light up the world, sitting
down next to Mara. "Oh, that's okay, Mara. Keiichi and I understand that
you were just doing your job, and that it wasn't personal. And now that
you're with us, everything will be alright, cousin."
Mara blinked. "Cousin?"
"Well, clearly you're not our sister, and we have to tell Keiichi's
friends and family something, so he's just going to say that you're Mara
Blessings, our cousin from America."
"Lying? Are we allowed to do that?"
"Well, normally no," Bell admitted, blushing slightly. "But Father has
said that it's allowable for disguise purposes, under the circumstances. In
truth, only Keiichi is lying, and we're neither saying we are or we're not,
but the Heavens aren't going to hold that against him. He's got our best
interests in mind, after all."
Everyone: Yeah, right!
Washu (tsking): Tsk, tsk, all of these technicalities.
"I see. So, you're going to be the one to start my training tomorrow,
huh?"
Bell nodded. "Yes, since Urd feels it will give me something else to do
other than my children and the housekeeping. Actually," she admitted, "I
don't mind and I'd enjoy the chance. It's not every day that we get a new
deity, and sometimes, mortality *can* be a chore. But don't get me wrong:
I'm very happy and have never once regretted the choice I've made."
Washu: I wonder who's their PR rep?
Mara nodded. "I'm happy for you and your family then...cousin."
"They're your family now, as well." Bell leaned over and enveloped the
former demoness in a warm embrace; Mara felt odd at first but soon warmed up
to it, and within moments, all her fears and cares seem to evaporate in the
warmth of Bell's friendliness and caring. "Welcome to our family, Mara."
Pulling out of the hug, Bell cocked her head for a second and said, "Well,
the children will be waking up in a few minutes, so I have to tend to them.
We'll be having dinner in an hour, if you want to join us."
Washu: Aren't Belldandy and Kasumi twins?
Ranma: As are Akane and Skuld.
Mara grinned as sweetly as she could. "Think I will, thanks." As Bell
stepped out to her for her children, Mara watched the former goddess go,
with a new view on things. Bell embraced the changes openly; why shouldn't
Mara? Yes, change for deities was just as frightening as that for mortals,
and in some cases, even more so. Yet Bell embraced it with a measure of
courage that seemed so natural, so unyielding.
Mara was a goddess now, and fear and bad thoughts like that were the
domain of her former profession. They would be best served by remaining in
the past. Getting up from the bed, Mara headed to the closet, and looked at
her formal clothing as a demon. Once, the black and red armor, leathers,
and cape were enhanced to provide fear and danger to those who would oppose
her. They still looked the same, but they had now changed to the colors of
white, gray and peach. The armor was now one of protection and comfort to
those who she would approach with it.
Closing the closet, she headed for the door. She was a Norn now, and a
member of the Morisato and Wodendottir extended family. She wanted to get
to know those who would be her loved ones better, and to show them that
while she was a demoness, she'd never held anything personal against them.
As one of them, she was more on their side than anything else in this
reality.
Everyone: Awww....
<><><><><>
(Everyone ducks again.)
Andrew: Man, those diamonds are a killer!
Watching from a tree across the street, Gui sat there, holding the
binoculars. "Enjoy your peace while you can, traitor," she muttered to
herself. "When next we meet, your peace will become bloody piec--" Gui
said no more as white splotches appeared on her, and a bird flew by.
Realizing what it was, she snarled, "You damn bird!" then snapped her
fingers and vanished back to where she came.
The dull brown bird flew past the nest it was aiming for, then adjusted
course for a human apartment. Heading towards the balcony, it landed on the
outstretched finger of a young girl who had just watched the bird's
escapade. "Normally I would say that was good," Joan said to the bird in
French, "But I under the circumstances, you could have done more."
At her side, Skuld laughed. "I think she deserved more. Next time, get
a flock to hit her."
The bird opened its beak and spoke in the same language, "Yes, Lady
Jeanne, Lady Skuld." The bird hopped onto the floor, where it morphed into
a beautiful young woman mot much different from Joan save for the shorter
hair, lack of glasses, and huge white wings. "Well, I suppose that will
keep her away from here for a while, won't it, Your Holinesses?"
Joan snapped testily, "Claudette, I wish you wouldn't bother with the
'Lady Jeanne' and 'Your Holiness' and all that formal jazz. I swear,
sometimes you angels get too uptight! I mean, maybe Skuld can deal with it,
but it's not me."
Andrew (muttering): Sisters...
Akemi: What's so bad about sisters?
Andrew: Spoken...say doesn't anyone else have a sibling? (Everyone else shakes
their head.) You're all lying.
"Yes, Your Ho--I mean, Joan," the angel said morosely, as though she'd
been slapped.
"Don't worry about it, Claudette," Skuld whispered to the angel. "She
does care about you, it's just she's antsy about this assignment."
Joan saw Claudette's reaction and said, "Look, Claudette, I'm sorry--it's
been a long day. Call it quits for the day and go relax. Tomorrow will be
a long day, and we still have to prepare for tomorrow, when Mara begins her
training, and her angel shows up." She gave Claudette a glance of
annoyance. "Are you sure what you're telling me about Mara's new angel is
true?"
Claudette nodded automatically. "She's a freak, and I've no idea how she
got the job. No one likes her."
Joan groaned, but kept it in check. "Well, we'll deal with it tomorrow."
Nothing more to say, the angel bowed and headed into the apartment.
"That wasn't nice of you, Joan-chan," Skuld said, icily, switching to
Japanese.
"I know, I know. Sometimes I'm still too mortal for my own good, and
still act too much like the General of Orleans than I should. Claudette
knows I love her--I mean, when we were alive, she was my younger sister, and
we've been together since throughout the centuries." Joan looked at the
sky, as though the answers were enscribed in the clouds. "It's just, she
really doesn't treat me like a sister anymore, and that hurts."
"Bit of advice?" Skuld said. "I've noticed you sometimes treat her like
a lot of deities treat their angels--like hired hands. Certainly, my
sisters and I are no exception, and we rarely see ours since we've come
Earthside. In our case, they're just that--beings assigned to be our
assistants. But Claudette serves you because she's your sister. She's not
as powerful or famous as you--I mean, how many people on Earth knew you had
a sister? But family is important, and most likely the reason Claudette has
stayed with you."
Andrew: I did. She thought Joan of Arc was crazy too until she fought along side
of her in a battle once. She's also the great-great-great-great-great
grandmother of Carrie Nation.
Washu: You've been playing around my computer again, Andrew!
Skuld looked at her watch and commented, "And speaking of which, it's
dinnertime. Want to join us? We're having a sort of welcome celebration
for Mara."
Joan looked into the apartment and said, "Naaah. Actually, I think that
I'm going to take Claudette to the movies. It's been a while since my
sister and I went anywhere. See ya tomorrow?"
"Sure. Ja ne." With that, Skuld spilled a bit of water on the floor
from her glass, then stepped on the puddle and vanished.
Taking the glass in hand, Joan took one final look at the setting sun,
and whispered to herself, "Looks like it's going to be an interesting
mission, this one." Turning around and wandering into the apartment, she
said, "Claudette, feel like going to a movie, little sister?"
A-ko (imitating Claudette): I hope Like Water for Chocolate is playing again!
Next:
Part Two: Enter Mary...or maybe not....
Andrew: Okay...comments?
Ranma: The fic needs a lot of work. It's too monotonius. It doesn't carry the
dramatics that it should.
Lina: I think Belldandy is a little too accepting of Mara. I mean, it might be
in her character and stuff...
Luna (shouting, Lina falls over): Yeah, where is that little stuff-muffin
Keiichi?!?!?! (Andrew rolls his eyes.)
Andrew: No spelling or grammar problems I could see...but Lina-chan's right...
Lina: Lina-chan? (She leans to Andrew.) You do love me after all! (She bear-hugs
him.)
Washu: Okay...well, I suppose we need to land this thing and see my (smiling
Belldandy-like) My grandchildren!
*************************
Will P-chan's kids be as angry as P-chan? Is the World a Cruel and Lonely Place?
Will Lina and Andrew get in on...in bed? Tune in to this and many other stories
when Red-Head MST continues...sometime...