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Misplaced Items
When I woke up this morning I was missing a hand.
How did I know that I was missing a hand? I usually wake up with two hands,
but this morning I woke up with only one. Therefore I concluded I was a
missing a hand.
I pondered this and asked myself where was the last place I had seen my
hand. Right before I went to bed the previous night I had seen my hand.
This was a most serious matter that needed most serious of help. So, I
called a friend of mine and told her that I would drive over to her place.
After destroying my car I decided maybe public transportation would have
been a better idea.
I took the bus to her house and she was most surprised when I greeted her.
She exclaimed,"What happened to your hand?!"
"It's gone," I replied.
She said,"I can see that, but what happened to it?"
"I don't know. That's why I'm here. I thought that you could help me Ukyo,"
I said her name which she uses to tell people of her identification.
She looked thoughtful which was better than looking stupid and said,"I guess
I can help you Ryouga."
She called me that because it is my name. At one point she might have called
me Ryouga Hibiki, but that was impossible. Surnames are even harder to
relocate than limbs.
Ukyo closed the shop down and we went looking for my lost hand. We asked
several people where my hand was and all of them told us they had no
discernible idea. We decided a better approach would be to hit them and than
ask them questions. We still didn't find any answers, but it the later
technique proved to be more satisfying than the former.
We located a place where my hand might be and found a person we once
considered a very good friend there. So we beat the living hell out of her
and asked her questions.
"How the Hell should I know where his hand his?!" She yelled rather rudely
at us.
"Is that any way to answer a question?" Ukyo asked before hitting her again.
She responded while coughing up some blood,"Okay, I'll tell you just have to
stop hitting me."
Ukyo hit her again because she had not answered her question with a yes or a
no.
"It's probably on the north side of town. What the Hell do you want it back
for?! Can't jerk off without it?!" She taunted me. How foolish, you only
need one hand to do that.
We went to the north side of town and saw another friend of ours there. He
was a man who was familiar with all things of interest to people who were
interested in things of interest. We asked him a question and he answered it
well enough. We repayed him by only breaking one of his legs.
Going over to the river we sat and had some lunch that Ukyo had prepared
yesterday and had forgotten to eat. We ate the food and made love. I do not
know why we did that though. I wasn't very hungry.
We let the sun enjoy it's hands in the immortal time that it took us to
reach the bay of Nerima. There we found the shriveld old man who had stolen
my hand. He had several guards protecting him and I asked why he stole my
hand.
Before he could answer my question I killed him with the hand that I still
had attached to myself. Ukyo ripped the guards heads off and said they would
make nice ornaments. We made love. I don't know why. I wasn't hungry.
Until I find better things to write about. Ja ne.