Damn ! Forgot to send this out ! 

(Third victim of the day !) 

(BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!!!) 

Okay folks, this is one of my VERY FIRST fanfics. I have done one or two
others, but I can't remember if I sent them in. Anyway, I lose the internet
for about three weeks starting tomorrow, so I should have part two three
and maybe four done by the time I get back. C&C welcomed and needed, just
try not to flamethrow, if possible. As I said, this is one of my first
fanfic's (the others I wrote went way down hill and were never finnished)
Public or private C&C, suggestions, comments, MST's, anything. (BTW, Ku and
Cloud are two chars. I created a while back, and some may not think it is
good to have Ukyo with Cloud, but I created Cloud for that purpose in an
older story, to have some preassure taken from Ranma after he and Akane
were married) 

(Ku and Cloud ? I think a little renaming duty should be done here. I don't like
nonsensical names and I think most readers don't too.)

Thanks.

TALE OF RYOGA: Chapter 1 - Life and Death

by James 

(James who ? Dean ?
Itai ! Sorry couldn't stop myself. ^_^ )
	

[Elsa Bibat]  
<snip> 
Okaaaay, you seem to have dropped us into the middle of the story, not
the beginning. Please, if you are going to introduce plot elements that
seriously change the cannon, start where the divergence begins, like when
Ku and Cloud (damn, the names still hurt), appear. The thing is, all the 
reader would say is "What the f$#% is going on ?". It would have balanced
out if you added a lot exposition to the story. 
      
       ~#~#~
#~#~#~#~#~#
      ~#~#~
<snip> 
	
Ranma looked at the bus seat before her, wishing se had made it into the

[Elsa Bibat]  
she 

       ~#~#~
#~#~#~#~#~#
      ~#~#~
	
<snip>

Okay, nice enough and does bring emotion across stiff WTFism plagues 
the work. You could at least add more exposition or work on the prequel.
That's all I can see that's wrong, along with the name. It's a fine work
though it just fell flat through the lack of information given to the reader.