Ronny Hedin wrote:

see as other men's see.  He would not know of them before he grew
to be an old man, but in time, he would know them all and more;

Is this contradicting itself, or am I just too tired?
("he would not know ... but in time he would know")

It is not contradicting itself.  However there should be no comma
after "time".  

I must comment that you do this language very well... it almost
feels a bit overdone, but then again, I guess it's intentional.

H.P. Lovecraft just about always overdid it.  You know H.P. once
did a round robin with Robert E. Howard.  Talk about your schizophrenic
heros...

    Cologne regarded him with a steely gaze across the wooden
table in the kitchen of the Nekohanten.  A mountainous pile of
carrot peelings was slowly obscuring her from view as she worked.
"Why?"

um. What's wrong with "slowly obscured"?

Nothing, except that he's writing in what is basically a 19th century
style not known for wearing a racing stripe.  You could tell those
guys were paid by the word.  

    A series of taps, gradually decreasing in volume, echoed
through the kitchen as Cologne made her way up the steps.  Bored
without an immediate source of stimuli, Ranma rapped his knuckles
on the underside of the table in a rhythm only he knew for a few
seconds, and then began to juggle a half-dozen uncut carrots.

I would switch that around a bit, since it reads as it being only
for a few seconds that Ranma is the only one who knows the rhythm.
Or something like that.

You are right.  That should go. "...of the table for a seconds in a
rhythm only he knew."