My opinions on this one are kinda mixed so far. I'll start with what I
didn't like about it.

First of all, the incessant Genma-bashing. Whether I like a character or
not, it's extremely annoying when a fic turns into a littany of that
character's faults -- especially when a lot of what you accuse him of is
stuff you've made up yourself (like the dozen extra fiancees and all the
robberies).

Secondly, I don't think you've given sufficient justification for Nabiki
to be as attracted to Mura as she is. Having Nabiki fall for a New
Character is one of the oldest fic cliches around, and as with most such
fics, there's not much about your character or the circumstances that
makes it believable.

Now, on the good side, the story looks like it has some interesting
conflicts coming up. Mura is divided between his crush on Nabiki and his
desire for revenge on Genma. If the desire for revenge predominates
(which I assume it will, at least at first) then Ranma and the others
(possibly including Nabzy) will have to defend Genma against whatever
Mura's plan for revenge is.


Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics.html