Private Bet #10 Chapter II: Home is Where the Headaches Are.
by Shade

Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 and affiliates are the 
property of Rumiko Takahashi, Rifts and 
Phase World are owned by Palladium. Other 
references belong to their respective owners.
~~~~~~~~~~
2c:Yet again....Here�s Ranma.

<�Excuse I. Looks for overweight bear is bald fool. You sight?�>

Ranma had picked up a few extra languages in 
his stay in Phase World, Trade Language had enough 
Chinese in it for him to be able to speak a little of it. 
It was still pretty horrible though, English had been more 
common and he�d concentrated more on learning that in 
order to communicate with most of the people he�d encountered.

When asked the guide had stunned Ranma by telling him that 
only two weeks had passed since his disappearance in this world. In fact when 
Ranma first walked into the Guide�s hut the poor man thought he 
was a ghost. It had taken Ranma awhile to convince him that he was not. 
A small fee later and Ranma was pointed in the direction his father turned 
grizzly had last been heading. 

A few hours later Ranma had found himself 
at the outskirts of a quaint little village. He noticed 
quite a few weapons being carried around, almost everyone 
here was armed with at least one sharp or blunt hand to hand weapon.
Some of them was familar with, others he had heard about and some 
of the weapons looked so strange that he couldn�t even begin to
guess how they were used unless he were to actually see them in combat.

He figured that this was as good a place as any to ask about his father. (1)

His efforts seemed to be in vain though, the men he 
had been trying to question had all just looked at him
strangely before going on their way. All of the women 
seemed to be gathered around some kind of ring, watching 
a martial arts match taking place on a log in the middle of it.

Curious, he walked towards it. Along the way he caught 
snippets of the conversations the women were having.

<�...terrible......having to have....rematch...�>

<�....Tournament.....interrupted..�>

<�.....animal.......ruining the...�>

�...eating sacred.....prize feast.....�

�...Damn....find it....make a rug....�

�....we ever catch it.....use it as main course....�

�...Stupid.....bear...�

The last one caught his attention, there couldn�t be 
that many bears in China, especially in this specific region.

He tried to get closer, but a gnarled staff being thrust in front 
of him stopped Ranma in his tracks. Despite having less then 
a split second of warning two of his fingers automatically 
intercepted the blow before it could strike him in the chest.

Ranma caught it less then two inches from his body.

Cologne was impressed. 

She�d picked him out almost from the moment 
he set foot in the village. Despite the worn 
grey cloak that hid most of this stranger�s body
she could see his skill in the way he moved. 
Ranma�s step was light and sure, like a large 
confident cat that knew he could 
handle whatever was thrown at him.(2)

His power was harder to make out, it was as if something 
was obscuring his aura. Still, she sensed a strength within 
this boy. In three thousand years of Chinese Amazon history 
never had such a gifted warrior appeared. If his looks were 
as good as his reflexes she just might have found a suitable 
husband for her great granddaughter. 

Only one way to find out.

Cologne�s eyes twinkled as she retracted her staff, 
then attacked repeatedly with it in a blur of motion.

<�Hey!!�> Ranma yelled as the strange old shrunken 
woman attacked again with her stick.

His hands seemed to vanish as they moved to parry 
the swift assault. The seconds stretched into minutes 
as the two fought a duel that was almost too fast 
for the naked eye to see. Ranma�s attention was so focused 
on keeping the staff away from him that he failed to notice 
that their display was picking up an audience.

At first only a few Amazons noticed, but word quickly spread 
of this stranger male sparring with Cologne and soon the 
entire gathering was watching. This was impossible! A mere 
male was defending himself successfully against a Village Elder?!

Eventually a lucky blow slipped through Ranma�s defense.

*Slash* *Rip*

Ranma�s cloak fell to the ground, cut cleanly in half.

The audience gasped in surprise, which quickly turned 
to delight as they got their first good look at the revealed 
pigtailed young man. 

{Damn it! I knew I should have used both hands!}

�What�d you do that for?!!� Was she crazy?!

�Well, well, you are a looker.You gave me quite 
a workout there sonny boy, the best I�ve had in a hundred years.�

�Why you....wait a minute! You can speak Japanese?! 
Why�d you attack me?!! I haven�t done anything wrong!!�

�Shampoo, what do you think of him?�

<�What do you mean Great grandmother?�>

<�The village needs strong warriors, grandaughter. 
This one is as strong as they come, we�d be fools 
to let him get away.�>

�Now wait just a minute! I�m here looking for a bear 
that�s my father....err...my father who�s a bear....umm...
Pop the bear....damn....this sounds ridiculous even to me.�

Those who could understand Japanese 
helpfully translated for the rest.
The mood of the crowd soured. They remembered the bear
alright, and their memories were not fond ones.

�That was your bear, the one that ruined the Amazon Tournament?�
Cologne was secretly delighted, it looked like this would be easier 
then she had first thought.

�Uh, I guess maybe.� It sounded like something Pop would do.

<�So YOU are the one responsible for ruining my moment of triumph!!�>

Ranma guessed from the enraged look on Shampoo�s
face that that had been the wrong thing to say.

<�Hiyah!! I will make you pay stranger male!!!�>

�Wait!! Hold on!!�

{Aw what�s the use.....she isn�t listening to a word I�m saying.}

Ranma stepped back to avoid a bonbori to the stomach, tilted 
his head to the side as a crescent kick spun past and leaped to 
avoid a hit to a very sensitive place that Ranma was quite found 
of and had no intention of risking. Even if she couldn�t actually 
hurt him he wasn�t taking any chances. The first lesson that had 
been constantly drilled into his head was that stupidity got you killed.

Or worse....

Ranma was still among the living and had every intention 
of staying that way.

Shampoo�s attacks were driving him back, Ranma was forced to 
give ground in order to avoid her reckless thrusts and swings since he 
still refused to fight back. He did NOT hit girls. Women serving in
combat was one thing, but he drew the line at actually hurting them.
He�d learned more pleasant ways to deal with girls after his hide, 
although he�d found out that that method also had its drawbacks.(3)

The pigtailed boy leapt backwards up to the challenge log, 
trying to find a way out of this dilemma. He knew 
he could outlast her, already he could see sweat 
starting to form on her brow as her frantic pace 
of attack finally started catching up to her. 

He thought she really looked cute like that. 
There was just something about her seeming vulnerability, 
he knew she wasn�t even close to his league and he could 
see that she was starting to realize the same thing. It made 
him want to just give her a big hug and tell her that everything 
would be all right. 

Sentiment made Ranma sloppy, he was snapped back to reality by a 
round mace impacting into his face. The power behind the blow was 
such that the head of the weapon crumpled on impact, when Shampoo 
pulled her bonbori back she found that her weapon had been flattened to 
roughly half its original diameter, when she looked back at Ranma her eyes 
widened in shock at seeing that her attack hadn�t even scratched him. 
She�d hit him hard enough to break a brick wall but it might as well 
have been a light breeze for all the effect it had on this stranger male.

Shampoo�s foot slipped......
~~~~~~~~

Shampoo�s eyes squeezed shut as she braced herself,
she didn�t have time to land properly.

This was going to hurt.

Strong hands caught her as she fell. Instead of the 
expected painful impact into the hard ground Shampoo 
found herself being held by something warmer and very firm. 
Her eyes slolwly peeked open to see her savior.

A concerned Ranma cradled her in his arms, his worried 
visage was very close to hers.

�Are you okay? I�m sorry, it�s all my fault. I should have 
stopped this sooner.�

Ranma started worrying when all she did was stare into his eyes.
Had he been too rough catching her? Was she mad at him? 
Why wasn�t she saying anything? 

Yelling he could deal with, but this uncomfortable silence 
was driving him nuts. Ranma berated himself, dummy, dummy, dummy......

{Shampoo never see such deep shade of blue before.....}

Twin spots of red formed on her cheeks. 
~~~~~~~~~~

�Ranma, Ranma, Ranma. That knight in shining armor routine is 
the main reason why you�re always getting into trouble. You really 
should know better by now.� Shadow shook his head sadly, 
some people just never learn.

�He can not still be THAT naive about women can he?!?!?!�

Zora shrugged at the Bard.

�Old habits die hard.�
~~~~~~~~~

The scene turned all hazy as romantic violin music 
started to play in the background and cherry blossoms 
started to drift down. The handsome noble stranger swept 
up Shampoo for a glorious kiss that would outshine the sun....

�Hello?� Ranma waved a hand in front of the daydreaming girl.

Although he�d let her go she still hadn�t said a thing, now he was
 glad to see that she at least seemed to be smiling now. 
The reason behind her now goofy grin totally escaped him. 
He figured it must be a girl thing and left it at that.

�I�ll just be on my way now, sorry about this.�

{Must remember to have a chat with dear old Dad. I�m through 
putting up with him getting me into trouble.}

�Hold it! Do you really think you can just walk away after defeating Shampoo?�

�Uh...yeah. I didn�t actually beat her, she tripped by accident.�

�I�m afraid we just can�t let someone like you go, 
your destiny lies here Son in law.�

�And how are you planning on stopping me?� Ranma reached down 
for the bag he had dropped when he dived to catch Shampoo.
There was some stuff in there that he figured he would need
sooner or later, most of it was irreplaceable unless he ever 
went back to Phase World. That he figured was probably not going
to happen for a long time, if ever.

A sudden sinking feeling made him look back up.

{I have got to learn to watch my tongue one of these days.}

A horde of young unmarried Amazons charged in on him from all sides,
the afternoon sun glinting off their unsheathed weapons.

Cologne wasn�t the only one to figure out that this 
young man would be an excellent catch for whoever caught him.

<�HIYAH!!!�>

�YAAAAHHH!!! Saotome Anything Goes School 
of Martial Arts Final Attack Revised!!!�

�Strike Fast and Run Faster!!!�
~~~~~~~~~

Around midnight the last girl chasing after Ranma 
collapsed from sheer exhaustion. He had left 
behind him twenty Amazons knocked out by pressure
points and the rest tired and panting on the road as he�d 
proceed to sprint away and kept on running without stopping once.  

This incredible display of stamina only increased their determination.
If he could last that long at running, who knew how long he could 
last at other physical activities? 

They couldn�t wait to find out.

Ranma�s escape was only a temporary setback. The important thing 
was that he had defeated women of the Amazon tribe. Now all they 
had to do was catch him and bring him back. 

How hard could it be?
~~~~~~~~~~

Ranma got a familar feeling of forboding. He nervously looked 
around, normally that feeling meant that his women troubles 
were about to make an appearence. But then he realized that the 
girls after him were in several other dimensions, Ranma relaxed.
It wasn�t like they could just show up one day to visit him right?

Thunder rumbled ominously from the heavens above.(4)
~~~~~~~~~

-One week later, Tendo Dojo

Soun Tendo read the postcard that had come in the mail.

Right after he finished he burst out into tears.

�Oh the tragedy!�.

�What is it father?� Kasumi poked her head out from the kitchen.

�Yes daddy, please explain why you�re making us the 
embarrassment of the neighborhood.� 

Nabiki gave her father a stern look, she was trying to 
watch the television without any interruptions.

�Dad, what�s wrong?�

A concerned Akane came rushing in from the Dojo, still in 
her sweaty practice gi.

�*Sob*...Sit down girls, I have something to tell you...�
~~~~~~~

People screamed in stark terror as a giant eating machine 
tromped down the street. Grizzly Bears were unheard of 
in Japan and known mostly by reputation. It was a very 
undeserved reputation too, the bears tended to maul 
more victims then they killed.

Needless to say, Genma quickly had a path 
cleared in front of him. 

He was almost there.....
~~~~~~
�FIANCEE!?�

�Yes, the son of a good friend of mine. A sacred pledge was made 
to one day have our children marry in order to join our two schools together 
and carry on the Dojo.�

�Wait a minute! Don�t we get a say in this?�

�Akane�s right, father. We don�t even know his name yet.�

�His name was Ranma Saotome and during a 
training accident he DROWNED!!!*BOOHOO*
*CRY*SNIFFLE* WAAAAAHHHH!!!!�

Tendo Waterworks; Do not pass go, do not collect 2000 yen.

�Oh my. That�s terrible.�

{How tragic to be cut down in the prime of life.} Kasumi made a 
note to visit the local temple later and pray for the poor soul.

�Whew! At least that nonsense is over then.� 

For a moment Akane had been worried, the last thing she 
needed was having to deal with another pervert after her. 
She felt a little bad, but since she had never met the jerk 
it wasn�t really any of her business. She had her own 
problems to worry about.

�I know you hate boys sis, but that�s harsh even for you.�

Nabiki was digusted with her younger sister, someone really needed 
to show the spoiled brat that she was not the center of the universe.
Okay, so maybe she was just a mite jealous of all the attention that 
Akane attracted where as she hadn�t even had so much as a single 
guy ever ask her out yet. Could you blame her? And now here was 
the news that their potential fiancee had just passed away and Akane 
was relieved!?! 

{I wish for once that there was a guy that was NOT interested 
in my violent maniac of a sister.}

A stray breeze blew in, it sounded 
disturbingly like elfish laughter......

....and smelled like a wet fur rug.
~~~~~~~~

Ranma was almost absolutely, positively, totally sure 
that he was going to kill his father when he found him.

The nerve of that...that...

Ranma used a word that referred to a six appendaged 
fifth dimensional being committing an obscene and 
anatomically impossible act on itself. The term was so 
offensive that it was a declaration of war in twelve systems 
and the equivalent of a challenge to a fight to the death in 
a hundred more. It didn�t even come close to describing 
Ranma�s current feelings toward Pop but it was the best he could do.

What kind of father used his son as collateral?! It was something 
he expected back in Rifts, not here!! It had been almost too 
easy to pick Genma�s trail, all he had to do was look for the places 
the old fart had ripped off. Once he said his name was Ranma Saotome 
if he was immediately besieged by shopkeepers and restaurant owners
he knew that he was going in the right direction. Of course Ranma 
also had to flee the town immediately, he didn�t even want to know the
purpose Genma had in mind for him when he sold him. (5)

It hadn�t taken him long to find that his father had fled China.

No sense in wasting money on a plane ticket, he figured.

Soon after that a human-sized shape was flying toward Japan at 
fourteen times the speed of sound.
~~~~~~~~~~~

�Auuugh!!!� Soun screamed in panic,
 Nabiki decided to join him for once.

�It�s a bear!!� Kasumi wondered how she 
was going to clean up after this walking hair shedder..

�I�ll kill it!!� Akane hefted the table.

�Growf!!� The grizzly waved its paws in negation.

It produced a wooden sign.

[Hi! Need hot water please.]

�It can communicate?� Akane dropped the table in surprise.

�Hold on a minute Mr.Bear. I�ll get the water.� 
Kasumi went into the kitchen, it was a guest after all.

�What would a grizzly bear need hot water for?�
Nabiki hated mysteries, it was harder to make a 
profit off the situation when you didn�t know 
everything going on.

[It�s a long story.]
~~~~~~~~~~

Ranma started walking, after a couple of bottles 
of sake Genma had always used to go on about 
his good friend Soun and the Tendo Dojo. 
That was his best bet of finding him, according 
to the streetmap he�d gotten it wasn�t too far away. 
~~~~~~~~~~

-One round of introductions later

�Oh Genma, how did such a terible 
misfortune befall you?� Soun looked like 
he was on the verge of tears....again

�Alas Soun, My poor boy was too weak for the training. 
In our match I accidently kicked him into one of the springs 
with my superior skill.�

*Knock Knock*

�I�ll get it.� Kasumi, always the polite 
hostess went to see who was at the front door.

�Yes, who is....� The rest of her sentence died a 
swift death as Kasumi got her first good look at 
the person who had been knocking.

Her first thought was that this young man had just 
stepped off the cover of one of those torrid passion 
filled romance novels that she secretly hid among the 
books she borrowed from Docter Tofu. His clothes and 
light tan gave his already handsome features an exotic cast 
that reminded her of all things of a dashing pirate. He only 
appeared slightly older then her but Ranma had an experienced 
look that made him seem even more mature then he actually was.

�Hi. I�m sorry to bother you but have 
you seen a large grizzly around here?�

Ranma smiled.

*DokiDoki* Kasumi could feel her heart racing, 
Those blue eyes were so deep, she felt like she 
was drowning in them.

And that accent just made him sound so manly.....(6)

Vaguely Kasumi realized that the handsome 
young man had asked her something.

Her hand pointed inside. 

Ranma thanked her and walked past her.

A few moments later Kasumi realized that she 
was staring out at empty space and went in after him.

�....and so Tendo, despite my heroic efforts to save him 
Ranma slid to the bottom of the spring. When I surfaced 
after diving in I found myself within this horrible cursed form.
Oh the suffering a true martial artist must undergo!!  My poor 
foolish son, oh why didn�t you listen to me when I told you not to 
go to Jusenkyo!!!� 

�Put a sock in it Pop, you�re a horrible liar.�

�Wha...Who are you?�

�Father, we have a visitor.�

�I can see that Kasumi, young man who are you?!�

�Oh I almost forgot. I�m Ranma Saotome, sorry about this.�

(To be continued)
~~~~~~~

(1) After living in a dimension where heavy weapons are 
     pretty much required dress items Ranma tends to 
     think of any place where you don�t carry blasters 
     as peaceful. 

(2) Did I mention Ranma has gotten MUCH better
     as a Martial Artist? And that he�s finally learned the 
     Art of being subtle, sorta?

(3) Anything Goes School of Marital Arts.
 If I need to spell it out for you then 
 you�re too young to be reading this.

(4) For such a smart guy Ranma can still be such an idiot.

(5) Something he would regret later.


(6) Uh oh.....
*$*$*$*$*$*

Treason doth never prosper; what's the reason?
For if it prosper: none dare call it treason.

-John Harrington

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

-Dorothy Parker

I am his Highness' dog at Kew;
Pray tell me, sir, whose dog are you?

-Alexander Pope

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