Since I'm used to writing comic strips and the fic reflects that, I'll put
the plug at the top:  27 of the most popular cartoonists on the internet
switched cartoons today.  At least 20 of the comic strips involved are
better than Beetle Bailey.  Please check it out at
http://www.astronerdboy.com/switch.html



Zero 1/2

A Beetle Bailey/Ranma 1/2 crossover.

********

	General Amos Halftrack was enjoying a nice, relaxing game of golf.

	Or at least he would've been if he wasn't twelve strokes over par.
He had spent the last ten minutes looking through the woods for his ball.
He didn't recall the Camp Swampy golf course being so densely forested and
he made a mental note to have someone look into it, maybe chop down the
trees and have the made into flagpoles or suchlike.  He saw his ball on
the far side of the oddest-looking water hazard he had ever seen.  As he
walked up to it, he heard a voice cry out to him.   

	"Sir!  Is very bad you fall in --"

	I don't think that I need to tell you that he fell in.
*******

	Three months later...

	"Beetle!  You were holding the map upside-down.  Now we're lost!"

	"It's your fault too, Killer.  You were holding the compass
upside-down!"

	"Well maybe if you read the map right I would've noticed, stupid!"

	"Beetle, if you don't shut up, I'm  going to start holding you
upside-down."

	Beetle and Killer piped down.  Sarge surveyed the area.  Zero sat
down and started counting flowers.

	"Allright, boys.  There's three of us and several hundred square
miles.  We'll have to split up.  Beetle, you go north.  Killer, you go
south.  Zero, you go west.   I'll go east."

	This raised more questions than it answered.

	"How will I know which way is north if he has the compass?"
	"If we find the camp, do we come back and tell the others?"
	"When's lunch?"
	"What if the camp is to our northwest?"

	"QUIET!", bellowed Sarge.

	"Sarge?  Why are we splitting up?"

	"Because I'm tired of hearing you two whine."

	"Can we come follow you if we promise to behave, Sarge?"

	"No."

	Beetle grew indignant.  "Fine.  Me and Killer and Zero are gonna
find Camp Swampy better than anyone's ever found Camp Swampy before."  He
looked around to see that Sarge had trudged off during his speech.

	Beetle looked around.  "Killer, how do you find Camp Swampy?"

	"I find it fairly poor."

************

	After wandering aimlessly and bickering for several hours, Beetle,
Zero and Killer stumbled into a clearing.

	"Water holes!  Boy, am I thirsty!"

	"If there were some chicks in swimsuits to go along with those
puddles, this place could be really cozy."

	"All you ever think about is girls, Killer."

	Zero leaned down to take a drink from one of the water holes.  He
had forgotten entirely that Killer was behind him or that Beetle had a
"Kick Me" sign taped to his back.  The inevitable happened and he fell in
with a splash.

	"Sir!  Is very bad you fell in!", the guide pointed at a nearby
pool.  "That is Spring of Drowned General."

	"You hear that, Killer!  He's a general now!"

	"I better salute you, General Zero!", Killer laughed.

	"Over 120 year ago, General Mien Fang drowned while pursuing
bandits through territory."

	"Congratulations, Zero.  You're the first Chinese General ever to
come from Company A."

	"You no fall in that spring, though.  You fall in spring next to
that one.  Some old American fall in that spring three months ago."

	Slowly, it dawned on Killer and Beetle how much Zero looked like
General Halftrack.
*******


Yes, I am going to continue this.

27 of the most popular cartoonists on the internet switched cartoons
today.  At least 20 of the comic strips involved are better than Beetle
Bailey.  Please check it out at http://www.astronerdboy.com/switch.html


Terrence Marks
Unlike Minerva (a comic strip)  http://grove.ufl.edu/~normal
normal@grove.ufl.edu