Returning Home
Part 1
By David Farr

	Characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi.
	This story and other of my works my be found at:
	http://homepage.ihug.co.nz/~djfarr/

*****

	The streets of Nerima enjoyed another in a long string of silent days.
Well, not totally silent, people still strode purposefully on errands,
cars still cruised by and bells of bikes still chimed happily. The peace
of these streets was a peace that the town had almost managed to stop
missing after a year of insane martial arts antics involving some of its
youths. Insurance rates were back down, construction charges were once
again reasonable and a few of the lingerie shops were still having sales
after finding themselves overstocked.

	It was as if the linchpin in the cycle of madness had gone missing,
sending its components flying to the four corners of the world.
Surprisingly, that wasn't far from the truth.

	Only a few of pedestrians, those that were in the know, worried when the
air above the road shimmered and became glassy. It wasn't a heat effect,
no, it really did look like a pane of water hovered about a meter off the
ground. The phenomenon hung there for a few seconds, then twisted itself
into a clear and silent whirlpool hanging space.

	There was a strange sound, part pop and part hum, and a young man was
throw from the vortex. He flew through the air, landing on his feet, then
propelling himself into a flip to account for the momentum he had picked
up. Gracefully he landed in a crouch and with intense blue eyes he
scanned the area. Clothed in heavy dark cloth that hugged his form the
young man gave the appearance of a warrior or mercenary from a war movie.
This image was utterly ruined by the small baby strapped in a knapsack on
his back.

	Moments passed before the vortex ejected another. This one was a girl,
no more than five, maybe less, wearing clothes similar to the man's. If
it wasn't for her dirty red hair, the girl could have passed for the
man's daughter, if he'd had her when he was still a teenager. She landed
with expert ease behind the man, stabilising herself with a spear at lest
twice her height. Her weapon gleamed in the sunlight as the vortex
ejected one final person before snapping shut.

	The woman fell into a roll as she struck the ground, coming up next to
the man, facing in the other direction. She was as serious and dangerous
looking as both of her companions, although like the man she carried no
weapons. Her black hair was cropped short and just as grimy as her
clothes.

	All three stood and looked around, their soot smeared faces emotionless
as their eyes probed the area. For moments none uttered a word.

	"Looks safe," the man spoke in language that none of the locals could
have understood, as it had never before been spoken on that world, let
alone this small town. He turned to find the woman's gaze fixed on a
sign. A sign sitting outside a nearby store had captured her attention.
Obviously it had been closed for some time, but the sign still hung above
it.

	"Ucchan's," the girl read. "What's that papa?" She turned expectantly to
the man, whose jaw was currently hanging open.

	"We're home," the woman whispered. She turned to the man and
enthusiastically threw her arms around him in a bear hug. "I can't
believe it, we're finally HOME!"

	"Careful, the baby," the man croaked, the sound of his joints cracking
almost drowning out his words.

*****

	"..... School of Indiscriminate Grappling," the girl read, staring up at
the sign above the gate. The two large doors looked much as the young man
and woman remembered them, although the memories were hazy at best. The
young girl had never stood before them.

	"Why do you have to read every sign we see?" asked her father.

	The girl gave him a cheeky smile and poked her tongue at him, then
turned to gaze up at her mother. The baby was now cradled protectively in
her arms, sleeping peacefully. "Are we gonna go in?"

	Smiling the woman nodded. "Yes, someone might be home."

	"Jeez, I hope your old man isn't mad at us." The man unconsciously
shifted his stance so he could play with his pigtail and stand on one
foot. "Don't really want to go through one of his fits."

	"He wasn't that bad," the woman stared wistfully at the gate. "It'll be
good to be home, no matter how much time has passed."

	"Well, lets go in!" the girl exclaimed. Hopping from foot to foot
excitedly.

	"Impatient as always," the man chuckled, and stepped forward to push
lightly at the gate. It swung open, revealing the house beyond.

	A woman stood on the porch, dusting away with a broom, as the group
stepped through the gate. She looked mature, wearing a housewife's
outfit, but still her face showed that she was too young for the job. She
looked up and smiled as they approached.

	"Hello may I help you?" she inquired, her voice sweet and friendly.

	"Sheese, she don't even recognise us," the man complained in fluent
Japanese.

	The woman glared at him, almost shooting dangers. "It was been a while
you know, Ranma. You can't blame her for not recognising her own sister."

	The broom fell from Kasumi's hands as her face lit up in surprise and
delight. "RANMA, AKANE! YOU"RE BACK!"

	The crashing of feet from inside drowned out the clattering of the broom
hitting the ground. It was only moments before the door to the house was
thrown open. A young woman with brown hair and a boyish face lead the
charge, followed by a fat old man wearing glasses and a white gi and a
slightly younger man with a brown moustache.

	The rush skidded to a halt as the trio took in the sight before them.
Ranma and Akane were back, but very different, older, much more mature
than anyone than they'd met. And they had two kids with them. Everyone
started talking at once.

	"QUIET!" Ranma yelled, silencing everyone. "Sheesh, what a welcome
home."

	"So where've you been Ranma?" Nabiki was the first to break the silence.

	Ranma grinned. "Now that's a long story..."

	"About five years long," Akane interrupted, "and we'd like a bath before
we even try to start telling it."

	"Oh yeah, a bath would be great," Ranma sighed, wistfully staring into
the distance.

	"Of course," Kasumi fussed. "You're all wearing enough dirt to cover the
gardens. Off to the furo with you." She waved them into the house.

*****

	Kasumi hummed happily as she walked along the corridor towards the bath.
It was good that the two were back, even if there were many unanswered
questions. There was no point in worrying about it all, she would do what
she could and that was all that was needed.

	She found a very unhappy looking child standing leaning against the
doorframe to the outer bathroom. The little girl had cleaned up well and
Kasumi could easily see both Ranma and Akane in her. Red hair like that
could only have come from Ranma's female side, but those eyes were
definitely her sister's. Only time would tell which parent the child's
body would mimic. Her weapon, a long pole with a spear head at the top
was held closely within her closed arms, one hand holding it tight.

	"Hello," Kasumi greeted the child warmly, smiling one of her most
comforting smiles. "We didn't get properly introduced earlier. I'm
Kasumi, and you are?"

	The girl shifted quickly and Kasumi suddenly found herself at the wrong
end of the spear. "I'm Ukyo Saotome of the clan Saotome, and I'm not
going to let you near my parents!"

	Kasumi added the child's comments to her long list of questions to be
asked later and held out the bundle she carried. "I was just bringing
them some fresh clothes from upstairs. I thought it might be nice for
them to have something clean to wear." She purposefully ignored the fact
that young Ukyo was wearing a perfectly clean set of the clothes she'd
been wearing before.

	"Ummm," Ukyo seemed caught off-guard. "I don't think they need them."

	Kasumi increased the brightness of her smile. "Why don't you ask them?"

	Ukyo nodded. "Okay," she threw open the door and stuck her head in.
"Mom, dad, there's a woman here who says she has some clothes for you!"

	"Is that you Kasumi?" Akane called from beyond the inside door.

	"Yes it is! I thought you might like some a change of clothes."

	"Thanks, just leave them out there!"

	"Okay," Kasumi slipped past the spear-wielding child and placed the two
bundles of folded clothes on the bench. "Shall I take Ukyo into the
kitchen to get her something to eat?" Behind her Ukyo perked up, she had
her father's appetite.

	"If you don't mind!"

	Inside, Akane held her baby son and smiled across the furo at the man
she loved smiled. "Its nice having someone to care about us again, isn't
it?"

	Ranma nodded, and slid further into the warm waters. "I'd almost
forgotten what civilisation felt like."

	Akane's expression turned grim. "How do you think Ukyo's going to cope?
She's hardly had a normal upbringing."

	"Same as we've always coped, as a family." Ranma closed his eyes and
sighed. "Its not as if either of us had a normal childhood."

	"I know, but neither of us were fighting a war for the first four years
of our life."

*****

	Nabiki, Soun and Genma knelt around the table as Kasumi lead Ukyo into
the room. She'd failed to convince the child to leave behind the spear
even though it meant the child had to carry her food bowl and cutlery in
one hand. The three about the table fell silent as the pair entered.

	Kasumi's smile didn't falter, but her eyes showed her disapproval of
their sudden silence. "Ukyo, these are your Aunt Nabiki, and Grandfathers
Genma and Soun."

	Soun immediately burst into tears. "My daughter's had a child!"

	"Be serious father," Nabiki drawled. "She can't possibly be Akane's
daughter."

	The tip of Ukyo's spear materialised next to Nabiki's head. "TAKE THAT
BACK!"

	Gently Nabiki pushed the weapon away. "Point that somewhere else kid,"
she said faltly. "Akane and Ranma haven't been away long enough to have a
baby, let alone a child your age."

	"What, you don't think five years is enough, sister dearest?" Ranma
quipped from the doorway.

	He and Akane stood there, smiling at the scene before them. Both had
changed into the clothes Kasumi had supplied which, with the clean up,
went some way to restoring the two to their teenage appearance. Still,
there was something about them, in the eyes and the way they stood, that
showed they were no longer the teenagers that had fought almost daily in
the Tendo house.

	Nabiki turned to regard Ranma. "It's only been three months Ranma."

	Ranma shrugged. "For you maybe, five years for us." He walked over and
dropped into a place at the table, Akane followed him carrying their son
and Ukyo fell place on his other side. She immediately started inhaling
her food.

	"What do you mean?" Nabiki inquired patronisingly. It was obvious she
thought Ranma was an idiot, but then she had always thought that.

	"Well where we've been time goes faster than it does here, it has to do
with what the prof called trans-tempar... trans-temp..."

	Akane looked up from the baby. "Trans-temporal disharmony," she
supplied.

	"And that means?" Genma asked, leaning forward.

	"That time passes faster in some worlds than others." Akane smiled
cheekily.

	"Great circular argument Akane," Nabiki deadpanned.

	"So where have you been?" Kasumi asked brightly. Nothing seemed to get
her down. "Father, do stop crying and pay attention," she added to the
side.

	Soun sniffled a few times and stopped the waterworks. "Sorry Kasumi."

	"Where've we been?" Ranma leant back and stared up at the roof,
scratching the back of his head. "There was that world with all the
robots that hated us 'cause we walked on two legs."

	"Or there was that beautiful palatial world where everything sparkled
like diamonds," Akane sighed.

	Ranma's brow furrowed. "Wasn't that the one where all the people where
inhabited by demons 'cause they were so decadent."

	Akane nodded saddly. "That's right, such a pity, I really loved it
there."

	"The candy world! The candy world!" Ukyo cried, jumping up and down,
waving her empty bowl.

	Ranma shot his daughter a dirty look. "Trust you to remember that. All I
can remember of that trip is your stomach ache."

	Akane smiled at the confused faces of her family. "We got kind of
lost--"

	"More so than Ryoga," Ranma interjected, grinning.

	"And ended up on this other world that was earth, but at the same time
wasn't." Akane continued. "Anyway, we helped the people there with a
problem they were having with a tyrant. The battle was long and well, we
kind of got close."

	Ranma nodded. "Yeah, having to rely so much on each other does that." He
and Akane turned and shared a warm gaze.

	"I think I'm going to be sick," Nabiki murmured.

	Akane broke off and returned her attention to her family. "Anyway, after
the battle a group of their scientist research us and our world
travelling, it took them over a year to come up with something, and even
then they couldn't guarantee that we'd get home on the first try. "

	"During which time we had this delightful urchin," Ranma mussed his
daughter's hair. "We spent a lot of time discussing whether or not we
wanted to take her with us or stay there and raise her there before
returning.

	"Then the professor who'd made the breakthrough told us that time passed
differently in the worlds, and he had no way of telling how long it had
been here. We decided we couldn't risk coming back and finding you all
old, so we spent some time training with Ukyo strapped to our backs, then
jumped."

	Akane nodded. "But each jump seemed to take us further from home. We
spent years travelling, hoping that we'd get home. And during that time
we had another child.

	Ranma took over the tale again. "Thankfully Ukyo was old enough to help
me defend her mother, not that Akane was helpless, but the extra pair of
hands was appreciated." Ukyo grinned happily at his compliment.

	Sighing Akane looked down at the table. "Somehow we always ended up in
worlds where there were problems and battles. Even if we found an Eden
there was always a snake."

	The table fell into an awkward silence.

	"So what's this one's name?" Kasumi leant over and prodded the baby
Akane was holding. He immediately grabbed hold of her finger causing
Kasumi to wince slightly

	Akane's motherly pride took over. "This is Ryoga."

	"Oh, how cute." Kasumi cooed.

	Nabiki raised one eyebrow. "Yeah, are sure he's Ranma." She immediately
found her pierced by twin glares from her sister and her lover.

	"How did you come up with the name?" Kasumi was trying unsuccessfully to
get her finger back from the baby.

	"No, Ranma suggested it."

	Everyone turned to stare at the boy.

	Ranma shrugged in answer. "Hey, he was my best enemy and friend. I
needed something to remind me of him."

	"Same with Ukyo," Akane sighed. "Where are they anyway? We saw Ucchan's
was closed when we arrived."

	Nabiki shrugged. "They were all off searching for the two of you last we
heard. We all made a pact, the moment we found anything about you, we'd
tell the others. Which reminds me, I've got some phone calls to make."

	"Aww, I don't know if I'm ready for all of that again," Ranma
complained. "We just came through hell, I was hoping for some peace."

	Nabiki stood, smiling one her patronising smiles. "Relax Ranma, most of
them are using voice mail. They probably won't receive the message for
days, and even then it'll be a while before they get back here."

	"You said most of them," Akane pointed out. "Who isn't?"

	Nabiki sighed theatrically. "The Kunos, they're paying for the voice
mailboxes and decided to upgrade their services to a call through
service. They always get any messages immediately. Besides which, we
promised and I'm not going to break this one for anyone."

	"I'm sure your getting some sadistic pleasure out of this," Ranma shot
at her.

	"Me?" Nabiki innocently asked, closing the door. Ukyo took this chance
to leap to her feet and toddle off to the kitchen.

	Ranma sighed. "I suppose it wouldn't be home without them all."

	Akane smiled. "That's true, I think we'd better get settled in before
they start arriving."

	"Okay, I'll go set up our stuff." He turned to his father. "Pop we're
taking the guest room for us and the kids." He started towards the door.

	"Where am I supposed to sleep?" the old man complained.

	"Akane's old room," Ranma suggested, standing from the table.

	"After I've cleared it out!" Akane snapped.

	"But--" he was cut off by the sudden appearance behind him of Ukyo spear
in one hand, glass of water in the other. Giggling the little girl poured
the cold liquid over her grandfather.

	"And you were worried about her," Ranma joked to Akane as he vanished
through the doorway.

*****

	"Moshi moshi," the voice answered at the other end of the line.

	"Nabiki Tendo? It is I, Tatewaki Kuno!" The young man announced.

	"Oh, Kuno-baby, I've been waiting for your call. I suppose you've got
your message."

	"Certainly. Is it true that my beloved Akane Tendo and the
pig-tailed-goddess have returned?"

	"Well, yes, but--"

	"Then inform them that I will be there shortly to free them from the
evil enchantments of that vile sorcerer Saotome!"

	"Kuno! Listen!" Nabiki cried into the now dead line. "Damn, well I
suppose I'd better warn the lovebirds."

*****

	Nabiki stopped at the doorway to the guestroom. Ranma hadn't been
kidding when he said he'd set up their stuff. The place looked like a
cross between a religious temple and a nursery from some science-fiction
show. Wards, statues and symbols adorned the room, and sitting in one
corner was the strangest cot she had ever seen. It was silvery and
metallic and low to the ground with low sides on wither side. Ryoga slept
happily in the cot, floating above the floor.

	"Ah, Ranma?" Nabiki looked around the room. Ranma was kneeling next the
futons stuffing something into the pack that had earlier held the baby.

	He looked up at her voice. "Yeah Nabiki?"

	"Get superstitious all of a sudden?" she waved about the room.

	"Seen to much not to believe," he commented. "Five years of running into
trouble Nabiki, it's a lot."

	Nabiki nodded, remembering the year Ranma had been around, and trying to
imagine that run together constantly for almost five years. "Surely you
weren't constantly in trouble."

	"Aw, naw, we would sometimes settle down somewhere for a few weeks or a
month. Especially when Akane was full term with Ryoga there," he nodded
to the sleeping baby. "But it's still a lot." A smile crept onto his
face. "Akane made it worthwhile though. Being with her is all I wanted,
then the kids came and things just got better."

	Nabiki looked at her brother-in-law-to-be in a new light. "You've really
grown up Ranma."

	"Thanks Nabs, it's good to hear you say that," he gave her a quirky
smile. "But you didn't come up here to talk about me."

	Nabiki blinked in surprise. "Huh? Oh, yeah right. Kuno just called, he
said to tell 'his beloved Akane Tendo and the pig-tailed-goddess that he
come to free them from the vile Saotome,' or words to that effect. You
know how he is."

	"You didn't tell him about the kids?" Ranma was frowning.

	Nabiki shock her head saddly. "Sorry, he didn't give me a chance. Not
that it'd stop him, but at least he'd be mad for longer."

	"And cooler when he got here," Ranma surmised. "Well, thanks for the
warning anyway."

	"Anytime big brother." Nabiki smirked and left the room.

	Ranma went back to work for a few seconds before her parting words sunk
in. "BIG BROTHER?!"

-------

Returning Home
Part 2
By David Farr

	Characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi.
	This story and other of my works my be found at:
	http://homepage.ihug.co.nz/~djfarr/

*****

	Ranma stood, humming quietly, surrounded by a sea of silvery water. The
morning
sun felt good on his back as he balanced atop one of the stones of the
Tendo koi
pond. Ripples splashed the walls of the garden with light as the koi busily fed
on crumbs floating on the surface. The young martial artist's head was bent,
staring down at the bundle happily sucking away at a bottle in his arms. A warm
smile had long ago crept onto his face as he regarded his son.

	The silver on the pond faded as a large shadow fell upon it. "That's not very
manly son."

	"That explains a lot about my upbringing then pop," Ranma shot back, not
bothering to look up.

	"You've also left yourself wide open to attack," Genma scolded.

	"Wanna bet?" Even as Ranma spoke his father felt a pin prick on his back. With
a sigh he fell to the ground. "Good work Ukyo."

	"Hehe. Thanks dad," Ukyo skipped off into the house, happily swinging her
spear
as she went.

Ranma's smile brightened slightly as he watched his red-haired daughter. Her
birth had been somewhat of a shock to him, her hair colour indicating that his
curse went far deeper than they had imagined. Still, she was the apple of her
father's eye. Like Ryoga she'd been a quiet kid of need, a baby's cry would
have
brought down a lot of trouble in their old lifestyle, and somehow both had
sensed this. Instead the two parents had paid as much attention to their two
children and managed to interpret their needs with a minimum of fuss. It had
been trying, but it had brought them closer as a family.

	Ranma hopped across the stepping stones of the pool and landed lightly next to
his father. He prodded the slumbering man with one foot. "Come on old man, wake
up!"

	"Huh? What?" Genma shot to his feet, and searched about for his attacker.

	"You left your back wide open and Ukyo snuck up behind you and knocked you out
with a special technique," Ranma explained.

	Genma started visibly. "That little girl bet me?!"

	Ranma answered with a nod. "Yep. 'Course she's had surprise and she's pretty
good with that spear. Might even be the best fighter about by sixteen, if she
keeps up her training"

	"That was hardly an honourable combat, my son," Genma pointed out, frowning.

	Ranma shrugged as best he could with a baby in his arms. "Honourable combat
wasn't what the lesson was about. It was about protecting family."

	"Lesson?" Genma puffed up in pride. "Well, always glad to help you train her."

	Chuckling Ranma walked past his old man towards the house. "Who said it
was for
her?" He left Genma standing by the koi pond, wondering on his son's words.

 	Inside Ranma found Nabiki standing at the kitchen door, worriedly glancing
into the kitchen. Ranma's memories of the middle Tendo daughter were sketchy at
best after five years. He remembered that she had a tendency to enjoy making
money off others, but something also told him that worry was not something she
usually showed.

	"Ranma, good, get in there and stop her," Nabiki hissed, spotting him
approaching.

	Ranma could only stare at her blankly. He had absolutely no idea what she was
talking about. Combat techniques and fighting styles he could work out, but
when
it came to the subtly of words, he had no clues.

	"Akane's cooking!" Nabiki exclaimed. "And it isn't CURRY!"

	Still her comments went right over her head. Then, finally, it clicked. "Oh,
that's right, she couldn't cook before, could she?" Ranma took up chuckling
again and walked past the kitchen door.

	Nabiki watched as he continued along the corridor. 'If these two continue to
spring surprises on me, someone WILL pay; and I'm not talking yen.' she
thought,
glaring at him through slitted eyes.

*****

	The Tendo front yard wasn't large, but then it didn't really need to be.
It was
just a place to await those inside the house once you'd managed to get by the
gates. Still, it was a beautiful area, in its own quiet way, and the perfect
place for a young girl to bounce a ball on the concrete path. Ukyo though,
preferred practising with her spear, so was busy doing a series of feints when
the gates burst open.

	Her spear point instinctively shot to threaten the intruder, who found the
point resting against his Adam's apple. He looked younger than Ukyo's bearing
and would have said he'd had a noble bearing if she didn't know some nobles who
would have taken offence. Ukyo's eyes flickered over him, his clothes were
a set
of white robes that might have looked impressive if they weren't so out of
place, and in one hand he held a wooded sword. Obviously he hadn't expect an
attack, because his weapon was held lightly and his eyes gazed fearfully down
the length of the spear.

	"Who are you?!" Ukyo demanded.

	The man stepped back and flourished his sword. "I am Tatewaki Kuno," lightning
played behind him, "also known as the blue thunder of Furnikan high! I am here
to rescue Akane Tendo and the pig-tailed-goddess from the clutches of the evil
Ranma Saotome!" He looked down to realise that the little girl was no longer
paying any attention to him.

	Ukyo walked over to the front door and slid it open. "Mum! Dad! The big
idiot's
here to see you!"

	Moments later Ranma calmly emerged from the doorway. "Now what have I told you
about insults young lady?"

	Ukyo hung her head in shame. "Only us them to get an advantage in battle."

	"That's right," Ranma confirmed with a nod. He looked up to see Furnikan's
prize fool still in his pose. "Hey Kuno, long time no see."

	Kuno's mind, as sharp as a rusty bear trap, latched onto what the girl had
said. "So foul Saotome, you have finally shown your true colours, as I knew you
would. What loathsome whore bore you this devil child?!"

	Ranma opened his mouth to retort, then snapped it shut again.

	"Oh, Kuno!" someone sung sweetly from beside him.

	Kuno turned and looked at the newcomer. A smile exploded onto his face.
"Ah the
beauteous Akane--"

	"DON'T CALL ME A WHORE!" Akane screamed, smashing her fist into the kendoist.
"And don't say Ukyo's a devil." She dusted her hands off as Ranma and their
daughter watching Kuno join the birds.

	"Nice punch mum," Ukyo whistled.

	"Yeah, you're still in good form," added Ranma. "Wonder if you managed to hit
the canal like you always managed with me." Akane glared at him, and he smiled
back in return. "You know we *were* gonna try to talk to him."

	Akane shrugged. "He pressed the wrong buttons."

	Before Ranma could reply Ukyo made an exaggerated sniffing motion then asked,
"What's the burning smell?"

	"Eeeekk! Breakfast!" Akane dashed back into the house.

*****

	"Breakfast's ready," Kasumi called, and stepped out of the doorway before the
horde came trampling through. Sometimes she wondered what they would all do if
she slammed shut the door, but decided against it when she realised it would
simply mean replacing the door.

	Kasumi's smile slipped slightly when she saw Ranma and young Ukyo already
sitting waiting at the table, eagerly awaiting their food. The pair had both
moved far to quickly and quietly to be heard over the thunder that signified
everyone else's approach.

	It was only moments before Genma and Soun appeared. Nabiki rather reluctantly
took her seat as Akane wandered in. Akane smiled at her eldest sister, then
gave
her a conspirational wink.

	The food on the table looked delicious, not quite up to Kasumi's usual
standards, but certainly very delicious. As soon the eldest Tendo daughter took
her seat everyone started helping themselves to the collection of dishes on the
table. Genma launched himself in with his usual gusto, grabbing what food he
could. Conversely his son and granddaughter both took their time filling their
plates.

	As Kasumi watched she felt something was wrong, it took her a moments
concentration to see it. Even as Genma shovelled food onto his plate, Ranma's
chopsticks snagged them off onto his own plate. Joining in on the fun, Ukyo was
sneaking piles of her father's stolen booty.

	Realising that watching the trio was not getting her any breakfast Kasumi
started helping herself. The food-fighting trio surrendered the dishes, not
wishing to offend the one person everyone in the house respected. Once all the
food was gone (there hadn't been leftovers since the Saotomes first arrived)
everyone looked down at their plates.

	"HEY! Where'd my food go?" Genma exclaimed, staring down at his half-full
plate. He turned and glared at Ranma, who was innocently looking everywhere
else.

	"Too slow! Food go!" Ukyo sang, and popped a morsel of food into her mouth. As
the meal started even Nabiki was smiling.

	Nabiki raised her first bite to her mouth before remembering and paused, aware
she couldn't put it down anymore than she was willing to risk a bite. Out
of the
corner of her eye she watched as both of the fathers swallowed some food. Soun
look thoughtful for a few second, but Genma immediately started shovelling, so
Nabiki guessed the food was relatively safe.

	"Kasumi, it's not like you to burn a meal," Soun commented after a few moments
contemplation.

	"But father," Kasumi started in her best
'I-have-no-idea-what-you're-talking-about' voice, "I didn't cook this, Akane
did."

	Genma immediately started gagging, earning a fiery glare from Akane. Nabiki
however started in on her second mouthful, other than a slight burnt taste, the
meal wasn't bad.

	"If you don't like it, you don't have to eat it!" Akane snapped.

	"He's right though," Ranma pointed out, "this is the worst meal you've cooked
in a while."

	Akane frowned, and violence seemed to hang in the air.

	"I mean, it's been what, two years, since you last burnt a meal," Ranma
continued as if he hadn't noticed, "but then you did get distracted by Kuno
this
morning, so I guess you've got your reasons."

	The tension in the room eased with Akane's frown. "Sorry."

	Ranma leaned across the table and patted Akane's hand. "We forgive you."
	
	"Yeah sis, your cooking's really improved in the last three months," Nabiki
added before taking another mouthful.

	"Would you cut the comedy?!" Ranma snapped at his father, who was still
choking
violently.

	"Ranma my boy," Soun spoke up once everyone had settled once more into their
meals, "we have to talk about your future."

	The young martial artist stopped mid shovel. "Ahhh, let's see. As soon as Ukyo
and Ryoga are settled in we're going back to school..." He lowered the food to
his plate.

	"I'll get some catch-up work off Ms Hinako if you want," Nabiki volunteered.

	"Thanks Nabiki, we owe you one." Ranma's comment sent Genma into another
coughing fit. "Ummm, we also have to talk to Shampoo, Kuno and stuff, get it
clear what what's. What else? Oh yeah, we're gonna have to start looking at
taking students again so we can pay the bills. I think that's it."

	"Actually Ranma, you've forgotten something," Nabiki pointed out.

	"Oh?"

	"Well two actually. Neither Ryoga nor Ukyo have birth certificates. While
Ryoga
isn't much of a problem, we just have to pay a fine for late registration, Ukyo
is far too old to be the child of a pair of sixteen year olds."

	Akane frowned, but Ranma looked indignant. "We aren't sixteen!"

	Nabiki took another mouthful and shrugged. "As far as the government is
concerned you were born sixteen years ago. That's going to create all kinds of
problems."

	Even Ranma knew she was right and deflated. "So what's the solution?"

	"I don't know," Nabiki admitted, "but there are some people I can talk to, get
some legal advice. This is going to cost you Ranma."

	This time it was Akane who looked indignant while Ranma was resigned. "How
much?" he asked.

	Nabiki shrugged. "My costs, nothing more for my big brother." Everyone stared
at her. "What? He is my older brother!"

	"You said two things Nabiki," Kasumi pointed out, swiftly changing the
subject.

	"Oh yeah," she leaned forward, chin in hands and elbows on the table. "When's
the wedding?"

	There was a crash as everyone but Ukyo face-faulted.

	"We're already married," Akane volunteered.

	Soun immediately started the waterworks, soaking his meal in the process. "My
little girl got married and I wasn't invited to the wedding!"

	One of Nabiki's baleful glares was fixed on her father. "I think the
invitation
got lost in the mail."

	"Come on mister Tendo, you really think I'd sleep with your daughter unwed?"
Ranma took another bite of food. "We do have two children you know."

	TWAK! Everyone leaned over the edge of the table to look at the unconscious
man.

	"Oh my, he collapsed," Kasumi commented. "Is he okay?"

	"Guess he never put two and two together before," Akane added.

	"Idiot," Nabiki muttered.

	Ukyo picked up her spear and prodded the unmoving bulk with the butt. "Not
beddy-bye time."

	"Geeze pop, that is really lame." Ranma shook his head.

	Soun lent over and patted his friends face. "Wake up Saotome!"

*****

	Nabiki was at Furnikan's gates before she realised that she hadn't
extorted any
money for her silence. Well, she was never one to pass up a chance, and unless
someone was willing to pay big-time, talking could wait for tomorrow if Ranma
and Akane didn't pay up.

	The schoolyard was packed, it reminded Nabiki of when her sister arrived at
school, back before the engagement had become common knowledge. The only
difference was that this crowd encompassed both sexes, and seemed to be
concentrated on something in its centre. As Nabiki stood watching there was a
slight disturbance in the crowd, and someone pushed their way out.

	Kuno's outfit had been added to since his arrival at the house. Thanks to
Akane
the top of his head was now wrapped in bandages.

	'Oh good, he landed head first, no damage then,' Nabiki thought.

	"Nabiki Tendo! Tell these unbelievers that I am telling the truth!" Kuno
called.

	Nabiki found herself the centre of attention suddenly. "And what truth would
that be?" she asked, taking her best "I'm-in-charge" stance.

	"That the miscreant Saotome has forced your sister to bare him a child!"

	Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "You mean that four year old you met when you showed
up this morning? Tell me Kuno, how could Ranma and Akane have a child three
years before they met?"

	There was a muttering in the crowd before Kuno, and he started to look
confused. "But... but... she called him father... and Akane..."

	"Oh please Kuno-baby, stop wasting my time." Ignoring the spluttering
kendoist,
Nabiki strode through the parting crowd, which was already starting to thin
out,
and into the school building. 'That's another you owe me Ranma.'

*****

	Ranma and Akane lay on the roof and gazed up into the blue sky. The morning's
excitement had faded into a peaceful day. Thankfully none of the other suitors
or fiancees had shown up so the pair got to spend the time with their children.
Ryoga, the good baby that he was, had complained only once, needing his nappies
changed, then settled into his cot and immediately fallen asleep.

	Down in the garden Ukyo happily chased birds about, purposefully thrusting her
spear just to one side of them. She was a child, and it was one of those days
that made even the most serious youngster fell like playing. Of course it
helped
that her play was as much training as fun.

	Cotton clouds floated above the house, slowly moving through shapes as the
winds pushed them towards the horizon.

	"See that one looks like a castle," Ranma pointed up at one cloud.

	"I don't know, reminds me more of a ship," Akane commented.

	Ranma turned his head. "Yeah, I see it."

	"And the one next to it's a flower."

	"Naah, more like a nuclear symbol."

	Akane pointed elsewhere. "A beautiful swan."

	Ranma chose another cloud. "Charging bull."

	"An ice cream cone."

	"Duck," Ranma said calmly.

	Akane squinted up into the sky. "I don't see a duck."

	"Quack, quack, QUACK!" In a flurry of white feathers a white duck wearing a
pair of bottle thick glasses pounced on top of Ranma.

	"Hi Mousse!" the pair chorused, ignoring the ineffective attacks the duck was
using on Ranma.

	Mousse continued quacking angrily at Ranma and racking him with his wings.
Unusual for the hidden-weapons Martial artist there didn't seem to be any
surprises.

	"I tell you what Mousse," Ranma said, catching hold of the duck and leaping to
his feet, "how about I take you downstairs, get some hot water, and then
you can
yell at me in a language I can understand."

	"Go ahead Ranma, just don't get Ukyo involved in your fight," Akane told him.

	"Yes ma'am." Ranma vanished over the edge of the roof.

	It took only a minute to get some hot water for Mousse, during which time the
small duck continued to flap and squawk. Ranma poured the kettle over the fowl,
then stepped back and watched while Mousse transformed in a cloud of steam.

	"SAOTOME!" Mousse roared, having quickly pull his normal robes from
nowhere and
donned them. "How dare you return?! I will not let you take Shampoo again!" He
thrust out, sending a chain whizzing through the air.

	"Why would I want to?" Ranma leapt over the chain.

	"Are you saying Shampoo is not good enough for you?!" He launched himself at
Ranma.

	The pair crashed out the door and landed in a tussle in ground. Ranma
immediately flipped the Chinese martial artist off him. Twisting in mid-air
Mousse pulled out another weapon and threw it at Ranma. With little more than a
twitch, Ranma dodged out the way of the projectile, which buried itself in a
tree behind him. In retaliation Ranma sprinted towards his opponent, dodging
more chained weapons.

	Reaching Mousse, Ranma punched upwards, trying to uppercut him, but the
Chinese
boy flipped backwards. Realising his mistake Ranma leapt backwards, just in
time
to have his shirt shredded by the talons on Mousse's shoes.

	"Damn, another shirt ruined!" Ranma swore and threw himself at Mousse's back.

	Mousse's hands blurred and Ranma blocked the incoming blow, feeling the
collision of the swan potty Mousse used in the swan fist. Dodging a sword,
Ranma
allowed his feet to slide out from under him. As he hit the ground he twisted
suddenly snaking his feet around Mousse's legs and throwing him.

	Recovering quickly Mousse spun back on Ranma and charged, pulling a trident
from somewhere. Ranma grabbed the weapon as it came within reach and heaved it
up over him. For once Mousse flew without the aid of cold water, arcing over
Ranma's head, carried by his own momentum. However as he passed from Ranma's
field of vision he let loose a chain which wrapped around Ranma, pulling him
along for the ride.

	Twisting like a cat, Ranma was horrified to see where they were heading.
"UKYO!
DROP!" he screamed.

	Ukyo, still happily chasing birds, simply fell to the ground and the two
fighters sailed over her head. They landed with a splash, sending water flying
from the Koi pond.

	A rather angry female Ranma rose from the pool, holding Mumu the duck. "I
don't
care if you attack me!" THAWK! His fist struck the animal. "Just keep
others out
of it!" THAWK! "ESPECIALLY MY DAUGHTER!" BOOT! Mumu was propelled towards the
horizon. Ranma turned and ran over to her daughter. "Are you alright honey?"

	Ukyo leapt to her feet and dusted herself off. "I'm fine dad. Thanks for the
warning."

	Tears formed in Ranma's eyes as she wrapped her arms about Ukyo. "I'm sorry, I
shouldn't have let that get out of hand." She heard Akane land off to one side.

	"What happened?" Akane hurried over to the pair.

	Ukyo looked up at her mother. "I wasn't paying attention and almost got hit by
dad's fight." She looked at her father's chest. "Um, dad."

	Ranma looked down and noticed the tatters of her shirt and her rather
prominent
attributes. She quickly grabbed what she could to cover herself and ran inside
to get another shirt.

	"Dad's so funny," Ukyo giggled.

	Akane smiled warmly at her lovers retreating back. "Yes, he is, isn't he."

-----

Returning Home
Part 2
By David Farr

	Characters are the property of Rumiko Takahashi.
	This story and other of my works my be found at:
	http://homepage.ihug.co.nz/~djfarr/

*****

	Nabiki sat quiet, busily writing in her note book. The rest of her class,
including Kuno, sat about her, working on the maths problems their teacher
had set. A quick glance at her watch showed that she just had time to
complete one more question. It wasn't difficult she always excelled at
anything to do with numbers, although the real joy came when the numbers
referred to cash, preferably with lots of digits.

	The lunch bell rang, signalling the end of class. Everyone looked up and
waited until the teacher dismissed them, then a number of small
conversations started as people filed out. Nabiki waited until the last of
her classmates left then made her way to the front of the class.

	"Excuse me, sir." It galled her slightly to be asking nicely, but she also
knew that people were more willing to help if you had the right attitude.

	Mr Arokawa, Nabiki's teacher, smiled. "Ah, Miss Tendo, what juicy bit of
gossip do you have for me today?"

	It was hard, but Nabiki suppressed her desire to retort. "Actually sir, I
need some advice."

	"Oh? What on?" The man took his seat behind his desk and waved his hand at
the nearest chair.

	"Did you hear what Kuno was going on about this morning?" she inquired as
she lowered herself into the chair.

	"Your sister and Ranma Saotome having a child? Interesting tale, unlikely
though." He paused for a few moments. "But this being Saotome, I'm guessing
its true, despite the obvious problems."

	"Yes." Nabiki sighed. "It's a long story, but it ends up with the two of
them having lived five years for our last three months, and now they have
two children."

	Arokawa shook his head. "Only in Furnikan. So what is the problem?"

	"Neither of the children are registered as born with the government. I was
hoping you might be able to help us find someone to deal with the legal
problems."

	"Like a pair of sixteen years olds having a four year old child?" He
looked thoughtful. "I've got a friend who deals with family law and more
specifically adoptions. She might be able to help you. I'll call her and
see if she will see you for an interview. Do you mind if I give her your
phone number?"

	Nabiki smiled. "Thank you sir, please do." She stood and bowed. "You have
been most helpful."

	"Consider it a free service, but remember it next time you hear something
that might affect me."

	Nabiki gave him a look of shock. "Sir, are you accusing me of gossiping?"
she inquired.

	"Gossip? No, your information is too good to be gossip."

	Nabiki smiled. "Thank you sir."

*****

	Nabiki staggered out of the teacher's lounge under a huge pile of books
and loose paper. Three months was a long time Ranma and Akane's teacher had
delighted in giving the truant pair as much work as she possibly could.
Unfortunately this meant that Nabiki was doing some unwanted weight training.

	"Nabiki, is that you?" a voice asked from the other side of the pile.

	"Who's asking?" Nabiki snapped rudely. She wasn't in a good mood.

	"Ukyo."

	"What are you doing here, you should be home... oh right, the other Ukyo."
Nabiki tried to peer around the stack. "Umm, could you help me with this?"

	"Right." The stack was immediately lifted from her arms. Nabiki's eyes
almost bugged out when she saw Ukyo standing there, balancing the pile on
hand. 

	"What did you want Ukyo?" Nabiki asked, dusting her hands.

	"They say Ran-chan's back. Is that true?"

	Nabiki sighed and shook her head. "Don't you check your messages? Yes,
they're home, but--"

	"Is this stuff for them? I can take it to them if you want."

	"Yes, it's the work they missed while they were away, but--"

	Ukyo was already halfway down the corridor. "THANKS!"

	Nabiki stamped her foot angrily. "What is with these people?! No one
listens to me!"

*****

	Another of Kasumi's perfectly cooked meals lay spread out on the table.
Ranma and Akane sat on either side of their daughter, facing their fathers,
with Kasumi sitting between the two groups. Kasumi nodded and everyone
started helping themselves. As with breakfast Ranma and Genma started
fencing over the food. While their manners at times got on Kasumi's nerves,
it was also nice to know your food was so appreciated.

	A knock at the door interrupted the meal. "I'll get it," Kasumi sighed,
getting to her feet. As she left she heard a chorus of muffled "thank you"s.

	Ranma continued protecting his and his family's plates, taking bites where
he could. Truth be told Genma was only using Akane and little Ukyo to
stretch Ranma's defences. The old man had quickly found out that Ranma was
very good at looking after others.

	"Of course, we were just sitting down to lunch. Will you join us?" Kasumi
was saying as she approached the dinning room.

	"Sure, ah, I brought some Okonomiyaki along, I hope you don't mind," said
the other person in the hall.

	"Well, that makes three," Ranma commented dryly, snagging a piece of fish
from his father's chopsticks and sliding it back on Akane's plate. "In one
day what's more."

	Akane sighed and popped the recovered morsel into her mouth. "To be
expected really. We could never have a normal life."

	Kasumi entered, followed by an ambulatory pile of papers that smelled of
freshly baked Okonomiyaki. "Please Ukyo, just put that down and take a
seat. I'm sure we won't mind sharing some of our lunch in return for your
food."

	The pile was carefully turned, revealing Ukyo. She lowered the books to
the ground, then grabbed a box from the top. "Ran-chan, I brought this..."
her voice trailed off as turned and caught sight of the little girl sitting
at the table. Little Ukyo, realising she was being stared at, went
cross-eyed and poked her tongue out at her namesake.

	The elder Ukyo looked first from the child, to her father, then to her
mother, then back to the child. The resemblance to the pair was uncanny.
Ukyo even remembered Ranma looking like that at that age. For the first
time in her life, Ukyo Kunoji swooned.

*****

	"Nabiki Tendo!"

	Nabiki looked up from her desk to find the tip of Kuno's bokken hovering
before her nose. Not surprisingly the idiot himself was standing at the
other end. "What do you want Kuno-baby?"

	Kuno went into one of those righteous poses he enjoyed so much. "I wish to
know the truth about the child I saw this morning!"

	'I guessed as much,' Nabiki thought. She propped her chin on one arm.
"Truth is such an abstract notion. What do you really want to know?"

	"Are Akane Tendo and Ranma Saotome truly her parents?" the kendoist demanded.

	"Right to the point, eh Kuno-baby?" Nabiki shifted in her seat and gazed
coolly at him. Taking a deep breath she started talking. "Well, she calls
them mum and dad, they answer to it, they look after her and yet she
couldn't possible have been born within the last nine months, let alone
conceived almost five years ago. Leaves us with a large problem, doesn't
it? Of course direct blood isn't the only thing that makes a parent. So
it's entirely possible that they both are and aren't. Then we have the
interesting fact that she's red headed, which
neither Ranma nor Akane are, unlike the pig-tailed-girl, so we've got
another possibility. Then of course we can get into the really wacky
hypothesises. She could be an alien who's disguised herself as a child and
hypnotised Akane and Ranma to make them believe she really is theirs, but
that's just stupid." She finally stopped talking, leaving Kuno and everyone
else in earshot blinking.

	Time passed while Kuno wrestled with the deluge of information. "So who
are the child's parents?!" he demanded finally.

	Nabiki drew another deep breath, but was waved silent by Kuno. "Silence, I
will obviously get no straight answers from you. I will seek my own
enlightenment."

	As Kuno strode away (forgetting that class was about to restart) Nabiki
shook her head. "What did he expect for free?"

*****

	Groaning Ukyo awoke to the an aching pain in the back of her head and the
distant sound arguing. Whoever they were their voices were muffled beyond
recognition. Her eyes cracked open to the blurred image of red hair.
Someone was leaning over her.

	"Ran-chan?" she inquired weakly.

	The blurry image giggled like a child. "WRONG!" It vanished. "Mum, dad,
she's awake!"

	The arguing voices stopped and in the silence she heard the whisper of the
door opening. Soft steps made their way across the room and stopped by her.
Ukyo blinked the sleep from her eyes and stared at the ceiling.

	"Ucchan?" It was Ranma, sounding very worried, but he hadn't arrived
alone, Ukyo would bet her reputation as a martial artist on that.

	Ukyo propped herself up on her elbows and turned to face Ranma and the
others. Akane stood next to him, looking concerned, as if she actually
cared, and beside him, the red-haired little girl, still looking all the
world like a young version of Ranma's female form. Ignoring her two friends
Ukyo focussed on the little girl. Cute and smiling the child stared right back.

	"Ran-chan, Tell me she's some strange spin off from your curse," Ukyo
said, almost pleading.

	A snort escaped from Akane. "Well, at least she did better than Kuno."

	"Akane darling, that's not very nice," Ranma commented, his voice was only
slightly scolding, more... loving? No, that was impossible. Wasn't it?

	"Ucchan," Ranma sat on the bed beside her, "we've got a lot to talk
about." He looked up at Akane, who nodded and wrapped her arms about the child.

	"Come on Ukyo, let's leave daddy alone with his friend," she and the girl
made away. Neither of the pair on the bed said anything until the door
clicked closed.

	"Ukyo?" she asked, staring at Ranma, then "DADDY?!"

	Ranma sighed, an unusually deep sigh for him. "It's a long story Ukyo."

	Ukyo glanced at her watch, school was half over and she wouldn't need to
open the restaurant for awhile. "I'm listening."

	"That's a switch," Ranma commented dryly. "Okay then, where to begin?"

	"How about the day you two vanished?!" Ukyo suggested with not a little
impatience.

	"Right, well it was on the way to school..."

*****

	"You would have to make us late AGAIN!" Akane snapped, panting heavily.
She glared up at Ranma who dashed effortlessly along the fence, keeping
pace with her.

	"Hey, it's not my fault, blame pops!" Ranma glanced down at her, making
sure she wasn't about to clobber him. This was his first mistake.

	THAWM! The fence ended suddenly and unexpectedly, leaving Ranma to plummet
face first into the ground.

	"Who thtool the fenthe?" he asked, his voice muffled by the dirt.

	"Ah, Ranma..." Akane had come to a stop beside him. Ranma was on his feet
in a second, and joined Akane in staring,

	As they watched a large tentacle rose out of the canal, wrapped itself
around a section of the fence. Metal screeched as the tentacle ripped its
prize from the ground and dragged it back underwater.

	"That's gotta be one of the stranger things we've ever seen, huh Akane,"
Ranma turned to find the only empty space next to him. "Huh? Where'd you
go?" He looked around hurriedly, and found her not meters away kneeling on
the edge of the bank looking into the canal. "Hey, that's not safe!"

	Akane stood and turned, placing her hands on her hips. "Come on Ranma,
it's eating metal!"

	Even as the words escaped her lips, the tentacle shot out and bound her.
Akane screamed as she was lofted into the air.

	"HEY! Put her down!" Ranma dashed forward and leapt, kicking out at the
monster. As his foot came into contact with it, there was a flash of light
and a wave of nauseating disorientation flowed over him, but he shock it
off. His blow had the desired effected and Akane had slipped free. As
planned he used the tentacle as a springboard and caught her in mid-air,
flipped once and landed on his feet.

	He fell further than he expected, but adapted quickly. Glancing around he
immediately saw why, the canal bank and Nerima were gone. Instead they in
some kind of crazy jungle. Spinning Ranma turned to face the tentacle, only
to find that without the canal to hide it, the creature was now out in
plain sight. It looked like a large sack lying on the ground, with
tentacles waving from an opening in the top.

	"It's back!" cried a voice from behind Ranma, startling him.

	"Damn," a second, gruffer voice cursed, "it's found some more metal to
eat. Bring up the cannons, we're gonna have to go through that again!"

	Ranma half-turned, allowing him to watch both foe and newcomers. Emerging
from amidst the vines and trees were a group of soldiers, carrying large
silvery tubes. The leader, looking like he just stepped out of an American
war movie, approached the teenagers as his men set up the "cannons."

	"Nice save of the girl kid," he said, looking them over, "I've never seen
anyone hurt a metal eater like that. Well, not and survive."

	"Thanks," Ranma returned, not taking his eye off the creature. The weapons
the men were setting up seemed to have grabbed the thing's attention, and
even as it reached for them, they hummed to life. Beams of energy struck
the creature, forcing it to pull back. Just like in the movies, these folks
were using some kind of heat gun on the monster, Ranma could feel the
temperature rise.

	A flash of inspiration hit Ranma. "That things attracted to metal, right?"

	"Prefers people actually," the gruff man answered. "Metal's just what it
uses to repair itself."

	Ranma grinned. "Even better." He handed Akane to the man. "Look after her
will ya!" Still grinning Ranma leapt away.

	"What the hell does he think he's doing?"

	"Mind putting me down?" Akane asked sweetly. The man did so, setting her
lightly on her feet and apologising. She dusted herself off, and watched as
Ranma started bobbing and weaving his way through the forest of tentacles.
The first touches of a breeze on her hair brought a smile to her lips. "Ah."

	"HIRYU SHOUTEN HA!" Ranma thrust upwards, and the massive vortex exploded
about him.

*****

	"... anyway, that really impressed them. Apparently they'd never seen
anyone take out one of those things like that," Ranma smiled in nostalgia.

	Ukyo fixed the young martial artist with a glare. "Interesting tale
Ran-chan, but it doesn't explain much."

	"Yeah well, it turns out that things was made by some people, and set
after those army men. When they almost had it bet, it used some tricky move
that accidentally brought it to our world, and when I hit it, it snapped
back home, taking us along with it." Ranma shook his head. "Unfortunately
none of our new friends had even the slightest idea what had really
happened. So we threw our lot in with them."

	Ranma paused, and lowered his head. "We really didn't think we'd ever get
home, and even with all our new friends, it was kind of lonely. Especially
without our family," he looked up at her, tears mixed with apologises
shining in his eyes, "or friends. I guess it was only natural that we'd
grow close."

	Ukyo shuddered and turned away. She could bear to look into those eyes.

	"Without pop and Mr Tendo about to bother us, or someone popping up at
just the wrong moment, it wasn't hard for us to admit our feelings. Ucchan,
I'm... I'm sorry." He fell silent.

	Ukyo's hands scrunched up the covers of the futon she was lying on. "Why
Ranma?" she whispered.

	"I don't know, I guess... it's the way I felt." He was whispering as well,
as if keeping quiet could lessen the pain.

	"Not THAT!" she raged, turning on him. He recoiled from the anger on her
tear-streaked face. "WHY DID YOU LEAD ME ON?! Why did you let me think I
had a chance?! You loved her you bastard!"

	"I... I... don't know. I was scared. I guess." He slumped forward, head
hanging low again. "I like you Ucchan, and I didn't want to loose you as a
friend. What I did to you, it was wrong, absolutely wrong, like something
pop would do. There's no excuse, and I'm not gonna offer one, just ask if
you can forgive me." He looked, his eyes pleading with her.

	Despite everything, the pain, the betrayal, she couldn't stay angry. As
the feelings drained away she allowed herself to collapsed back onto the
futon. "So what about Akane, and the girl? How? I mean, in three months?"

	"Well, it wasn't three months for us, it was a lot longer." He shrugged,
cutting off her questions. "Anyway, we married and in time Akane got
pregnant. When we saw it was a girl we decided to name her after someone we
knew, you know, try to claim back some part of what we still thought we'd
lost for good. Akane suggested Kasumi, but even as a baby she was too, I
dunno, fiery, for Kasumi, so I suggested your name and Akane agreed. So we
had a little Ukyo and life seemed good."

	Ukyo looked at him. "I guess that's a good second place prize then."

	"Best I could think of," Ranma grinned. He reached over and brushed a tear
off her cheek. "I was kinda thinking you might like to help us train her.
She's really into using that spear of hers, and you are about the only
person I would trust to help."

	"Thanks Ranchan, I think I'd enjoy that." She paused. "Maybe you should
finish your tale, just so I don't get any other surprises."

	Laughing Ranma started once more into his story, this time more at ease.
Every so often the pair would burst into laughter. They were still going
when there was a knock at the door and Akane poked her head in.

	She smiled at the pair. "Excuse me for interrupting, but I think Ukyo
should be opening her restaurant soon. Ranma, you and I have a lot of work
to catch up on for school too."

	Ukyo glanced down at her watch. Time really had flown past, and soon the
after school rush would begin. "The grills not even hot yet!" She hopped
out of the bed and raced to the door. As Akane stepped out of the way, she
turned back. "Do you two mind if I come back after closing to hear some
more about your adventures?"

	"We'd be glad to talk Ukyo," Akane volunteered. "Just make sure you call
first, we might be in the middle of a fight with Shampoo or something
equally insane."

	Ukyo's laughter followed her down the stairs.

	Ranma was still smiling as he stepped up to his wife. "That went well."
His arm wrapped about her waist.

	"Yeah, a little too well," murmured Akane as she was pulled close. Her
comment went unheard.

*****

	Kuno paced Furnikan high's gym, muttering to himself. The basketballers
had long since given up practice, as Kuno, deep in thought, had kept
walking into their game and absently slashing his bokken at anyone who got
too close.

	"The child called Ranma father and he treats her like a daughter," he
muttered, for the fourth time that afternoon. "Akane believes Ranma's spawn
to be her own, yet the child bares more resemblance to my
pig-tailed-goddess." He the end of the gym, spun and started to march back.
"Yet too little time has passed for any of them to bear child and for her
to grow up."

	He stopped pacing and took on what he considered to be a thoughtful pose.
In fact he looked remarkably like the statue of 'The Thinker.' "But what if
the child's resemblance to the pig-tailed-girl is more than what it
appears? What if this is some cunning plot by that foul devil Saotome to
keep her from me?"

	Thwack! His bokken slammed into the palm of his hand. "That's it! Somehow
that sorcerer, in an attempt to keep them from me, has youthened the
pig-tailed-girl and convinced Akane Tendo that she is their daughter. Then
he can have them both!"

	So distracted was Kuno by his flash of brilliance that he missed the twin
crash from beneath the bleachers. As Furnikan's resident loon raced from
the building the two spies looked at each other. Once he was gone Hiroshi
and Daisuke hurried off to find a phone. Nabiki would be kind to anyone who
offered her a warning about this, and that was much better than peeping at
the cheerleading practising.

*****

	Ucchan's Okonomyaki had been more packed than ever before. Everyone from
Furnikan had come asking about Ranma and Akane. The more observant ones had
stopped after she had served her fourth burnt Okonomyaki. It had been a
battle for self-control, as various groups openly speculated on the pair's
disappearance and recent reappearance. Few of them realised just how close
they were to the truth.

	Finally the last of the customers left, waving goodnight to the smiling
chef as they walked into the darkened streets. Ukyo slid the door close and
slipped home the bolt. She rested her head on the wooden frame and just
stood in perfect silence, listening to the quiet murmur of distant traffic.

	"Oh Ran-chan." A single tear rolled down her cheek and hung for a moment
from her chin before falling away.

	The ringing of the telephone startled Ukyo out of her funk. Shuffling, she
crossed the room and lifted the receiver. "Moshi moshi." She shook herself
and tried to put a bit more of her usual brightness into her voice.
"Ucchan's Okonomyaki."

	"Naihao, is Shampoo here!" The amazon's cheerful voice was the last thing
Ukyo wanted to hear. In the background Ukyo could car humming.

	"Hi Shampoo, how's China?" Ukyo asked, continuing to put on her best voice.

	"Is same as always. Grandmother get mercenary girl's message. Is true
Ranma back?"

	Ukyo sighed,what else would Shampoo call about. "Yeah, he's back. Actually
I was about to go over and see them."

	"Is violent girl there to?" her voice was more dangerous now. Akane had a
habit of bringing that out in Shampoo.

	"Yep, Akane's here too. Look Shampoo, there's something I've gotta tell you--"

	"It have to wait," Shampoo interrupted, "Shampoo's money about to run out."

	"Wait, don't..." She trailed off as the phone clicked and the line went
dead. "Damn."

*****

	"This is going to become a reoccurring theme," Nabiki commented, having
heard Ukyo's account. They, Akane and Ranma sat about the Tendo dinning
room table, talking quietly so as not to disturb the two go players.

	"What do you mean?" Akane asked.

	Nabiki shrugged. "So far every time anyone's tried to give an advanced
warning about you two, they've been cut off. Not too surprising, but
frustrating never the less. So any ideas where they were?"

	"China somewhere," Ukyo hazarded, "I don't really know."

	Nabiki sighed. "At least we don't have to worry about them for a few days.
Which brings us to our next point of business."

	"Since when was this a corporation?" Ranma joked.

	One of Nabiki's patronising glares struck Ranma. "Don't make fun of what I
do Ranma, I am helping you."

	"Sorry Nabiki," Ranma hurriedly apologised. "So what else is wrong?"

	"Well, I got a call from a pair of informants that tell me Kuno's on the
warpath and perhaps more dangerous than ever. He was overheard saying that
he now believes that Ukyo, ah the child, not you, Ukyo, is in fact the
pig-tailed-girl."

	Ukyo snorted, trying to hold back her laughter. "I can't wait to hear this
one."

	"It might be my fault a little," Nabiki admitted. "I tried to confuse him
and it seems he picked up a few things and twisted them."

	"I'm sure you didn't mean to," Akane soothed her, patting Nabiki's hand.

	Nabiki stared at her sister in shock for a few seconds. "Right, ah thanks
Akane. Anyway, he apparently thinks Ranma has turned the elusive
pig-tailed-girl into a child and turned her and Akane into his family."

	"That's a leap, even for Kuno. So what's he gonna try?" Ranma leaned forward.

	"Come on Ranma, who know Kuno as well as I do."

	Ranma shock his head. "Nup, I've seen him once in the last five years."

	"He's got you there Nabiki honey," Ukyo pointed out, smiling.

	"Well," Nabiki thought for a second, drawing the word out as she did, "I'd
guess he'd try to break the spell..." her voice trailed off.

	"Ukyo!" Ranma and Akane chorused, leaping to their feet and smashing
through the go game, leaving a pair of crushed fathers in their wake. They
were only halfway across the yard when a high pitched screech rent the air.
Ukyo and Nabiki arrived at the dinning room door in time to see light flash
inside the dojo.

	Akane hit the door before Ranma, and smashed through it, showering those
inside in wood chips and tissue paper.

-----

-----------
Rarstarr,
David Farr
http://homepages.ihug.co.nz/~djfarr/
djfarr@ihug.co.nz