Obviously, this is severely delayed in coming.  Also obviously, much, or 
all, of what I say will have been said or refuted already.  Oh, well....

From: "Morpheus the Shaper" <milamber@mindspring.com>
To: "FFML" <ffml@fanfic.com>
Subject: [FFML][Fic][Ranma 1/2] The Other Breaking Point
Date: Thu, 18 Feb 1999 02:01:55 -0500

The Other Breaking Point

By

Morpheus the Shaper

The penultimate doom came with Akane's strident voice, "Ranma, I can't

First off, kudos for using "penultimate" correctly. :)

believe you are *still* flirting with all these girls!" She strode 

across

the lawn, shinai in hand, ready to deliver a thrashing. From the roof, 

Ryoga

was about to join the fray, when the ultimate voice of doom made itself
heard over the din. "My son," the Saotome matriarch spoke, "This 

behavior

isn't very manly of you."

Ranma looked up from the scroll. "I have tolerated this situation too 

long.

If Ranma's looking up from the scroll, the odds are that even if he has 
totally memorized the speech, it will still be in his slang--use the 
full vocabulary, but maybe botch his pronunciation a bit.

Now, for the meat of the tale--I liked it.  Ranma's final trump card was 
masterfully well-played.  I might have liked to get into the heads of 
some of the other characters, but I can see why you took the approach 
you did.

Congrats on an excellent tale!

--Freemage,
    Doomed to be behind for eternity....

C&C welcome. Encouraged, even.
If you'd like to see this in the original format (with bold and italics 

and

such) it can be found on my web page.
Morpheus the Shaper
http://milamber.home.mindspring.com

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