Dear FFMLers
	This is what I call a "quickie" fanfiction.  
After watching the ADV tape 12 of Neon Genesis 
Evangelion for the second time (and recalling tape 
13 and the movie), I wondered, _why_ did Rei break 
the glasses of Ikari Gendou that the second Rei had 
treasured so much and _why_ she refused to obey 
Ikari Gendou?  What was the significance in the 
destruction of those glasses--what did it symbolize? 
(I'll stop here as I don't want to go into more 
detail than that for fear of spoiling the series for 
those who have not yet finished it and have not 
watched the movie--though I may have just done 
that ^_^;).
	C & C will be greatly appreciated but please, 
keep comments tasteful and constructive.  You may reply 
to me privately through gnbean@u.washington.edu or via 
the FFML.  Thank you!


B.S.N.


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FREEDOM by B.S.N.
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DISCLAIMER:  All characters are the property of
Mr. Hideki Anno, Gainax, A.D. Vision and all other
associated parties.  This fanfiction does not intend
to reap profit or benefit of any kind; it was created 
for entertainment purposes only.
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TEXT CONVENTIONS:

_  _  denotes emphasis
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	A tear glistened on the cold, cracked lens of 
the glasses she held in her hands.  "Why am I crying?" 
Rei murmured to herself as another tear fell upon the 
surface of the lens.  "What am I crying for?"  She 
gazed at the glasses in wonderment.  "I have seen 
this. . .and held this. . .for so many times.  They are 
familiar and yet they are not."  Her hands suddenly 
tensed, threatening to break the frames but the impulse 
swiftly subsided.  "I cannot bring myself to destroy 
this.  I should. . .but I will not.  I-I want to. . .yet 
I cannot."  Rei closed her eyes to keep the tears from 
falling yet she would not release her hold upon the 
glasses to wipe away the tears that coursed down her 
face.
	The girl stood motionless, her hands still 
clutching the glasses.  The clank of passing trains 
could be heard but the silence of the room could not 
be broken.  The shadows shifted and lengthened; the 
summer day was drawing to a close, but still Rei stood.  
During the many hours that had passed, her mind was 
empty, void, blank--no image, no thought, no emotion 
had been formed.  Night fell and still Rei did not 
move.
	In the gloom, the glasses glowed faintly from 
the thin shaft of moonlight that shone through a crack 
in the blinds.  "Why can I not destroy this?"  Her 
hands tightened their hold briefly before relaxing 
once more.  "I do not understand the mind of the Rei 
who had kept this. I do not know the heart of the Rei 
who had treasured this.  I know not of the memories 
that are connected to this. She died," Rei said, a 
slight frown creasing her brow.  "Thus her heart. . .
her mind. . .her memory should no longer exist."  A
nother tear glimmered on the surface of the lens.  
"And yet, although I am different, I still feel the 
same. "  Her right hand dropped, limp, to her side 
but her left hand still held the glasses.  "Yes, I am 
still bonded to her--to her heart, to her mind, to her 
memory--and thus I am still bonded to him."
	Her right hand, seemingly of its own 
volition, moved to touch the drops that gleamed on 
the lens.  Her fingers softly traced the lines of the 
frames.  Slowly, hesitantly, her hand reached up to 
feel the wetness on her pale cheek.  "This is 
loneliness.  This is what fills my soul.  Regret.  
Sorrow.  Pain.  Memory.  Emptiness.  I am that 
sadness.  Even though it is not of my own making, 
even though it is not my own, I still feel lonely."
	Her hand touched the glasses once more.  
"But why?  Why am I crying and what am I crying for?"  
She continued to gaze down at the glasses in her hand.  
"Is it because I am lonely?  Is it because I feel this 
pain?  If this is so, then what causes this loneliness, 
this pain?"
	Another tear fell upon the lens.  Rei 
gently brushed the drop away with her finger.  "I 
am loneliness.  But is that why I exist?  No. . .I 
do not. . .  Then why do I live?"  She closed her 
eyes again and her hand tightened its hold upon the 
glasses once more.
	"I am one of many.  With the heart, mind 
and memory of another.  This is my existence.  I 
am sadness.  But my soul. . .what fills my soul. . .
what is my soul. . .is not truly mine.  It is the 
soul of another.  And. . .I do not want it.  If 
this is my existence, then I no longer want to 
exist."  Rei opened her eyes.  "Yet though I do 
not desire this, I still live.  Thus I exist--not 
because it is my wish--but because it is the 
desire of another.  But then, for whose purpose do 
I exist?"
	Rei looked down at the glasses, the frames 
now held by both hands.  "I exist. . .for him.  He 
desires my existence--I live for his purpose.  And 
so, my existence is his.  And I am pain. . .I am 
sorrow.  I am his loneliness.  He made me.  I am 
his creation, made in his other image.  Not his, but 
still his--another part of him manifested in me."
	Suddenly, the placid and blank countenance 
changed; her eyes narrowed and her jaw clenched.  
Imperceptibly, her hand tightened its hold and a 
soft cracking noise filled the quiet room.  "But 
I do not want this existence.  I am not his.  
Though his soul, his sorrow, his pain fills me, 
I am not his.  I am not his doll."  The sound of 
cracking glass and snapping metal grew louder.  
Bright red drops fell to the dusty floor with 
increasing speed as the shards of glass and 
broken metal pressed into the flesh of her 
palms.  
	"I am not his doll.  I am not a doll, an 
empty vessel, into which the soul of another is 
filled."  The glasses dropped from her hands and 
clattered onto the floor.  "I am no shell within 
which to hold his loneliness."  The image of a 
smiling man flashed across her mind.  She raised 
her foot and brought it down to bear upon the 
broken glasses upon the floor.  "No, I am not his."
	Abruptly, she stopped.  Rei stepped back and 
knelt to pick up the glasses from the floor.  She 
looked at the shining bits of glass and gleaming 
metal pieces that littered the floor.  She stared at 
the bright scarlet drops that shone on its lens and 
twisted frames.  Suddenly, her eyes widened in 
surprise and she drew in a quick breath.  The image 
of a young boy with those glasses--too large upon his 
small face--perched upon his nose.  Another picture 
of the same boy with a smile upon his face and his 
eyes shining with unshed tears.  
	"Ikari-kun," Rei whispered.  Her mouth curved
into a gentle smile as she stood up, the glasses 
falling from her slack hand.  
	The small shards of glass and twisted metal 
crunched beneath her feet as she moved to the window    
and drew back the curtain.  The moon was full and 
bright; its light filled the small dingy room with a 
blue radiance and bathed her face in its ethereal glow.  
	"It is time," Rei murmured.  
	And the door clanged shut behind her.    




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AUTHOR'S NOTES:  Well, this is my first short work.
It was rushed, but I wanted to get it out there--out
of my mind, onto paper and onto the FFML.  Thus,
the quality of this work is not very good.  I hope,
however, that you enjoyed it.  And, as always,
C & C are welcomed.  Thanks!
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