A Fractured Tale: How to kill a completely ordinary fairy tale by 
inserting
anime characters

  ********************************************

Disclaimer: The characters of Rurouni Kenshin are copyright of Nobuhiro
Watsuki, Shueisha, Sony Entertainment, etc. The story Snow White and the
Seven Dwarfs and all other references to fairy tales were taken from 
Grimm's
Fairy Tales. This fic was written purely for entertainment purposes and 
is
not qualified to be considered a fanfic ... blah, blah, blah...
At any rate, all characters belongs to their respective creators. This 
is
writen purely for entertainment purposes, no profit is being made out of
this. Do not distribute it in anyform.

Jien (a.k.a B'zugda-hiara) proudly presents "A Fractured Tale". Drumroll
please... Drum smashes into wall...Okay, enter creepy church organ 
music.
***Purple lightning***
Organ blows up and the Librarian is blown into the nether dimension.
Damn. Why does that always happen to me.

  ********************************************

Cast:

The 2 vertically challenged and 5 extremely horizontally challenged 
people
aka 7 Dwarfs
Kenshin=Dummy
Sano=Spiky B
Yahiko=Spiky C
Saitou=Wolfy
ShishiO=Toast
Hiko=Groggy
Aoshi=....

Tomoe=Queen Snow White
Kaoru=Rose Red
Misao=Weasel Godmother


Prologue

Once upon a time, there was a mining company, 7 People Mining Inc, run 
by
two vertically challenged and five extremely horizontally challenged 
people
in the beautiful country of XXXXX run by Queen Yukishiro Tomoe a.k.a 
Snow
White.



----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the coldest @$%&# of them all?"

"You are, my Queen," the mirror replied wearily.

"Alright, let's try another one...Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the
toughest @$%&#  of them all?"

              ***************************************

"Stop lazing around, you dwarfs!!", Rose Red screeched."Get this dojo
cleaned up. You never do anything but sit around in from of that 
misrable
box and watch pirated VCDs!"

"Shut Up, You HAG!", Spiky C responded."I'm trying to watch 'Blade'."

Always the mediator, Dummy tried to interrupt the rapidly encroaching
cat-fight between the two.

"Matte, matte de gozaru yo...Orooooooooroooooo"

              ***************************************

    Queen Tomoe watched, surprised, as the surface of the mirror started 
to
shimmer and change until it held the image of a young woman screaming at 
a
dwarf with perfectly symmetrically spiky hair, while another six people 
sat
on a couch watching the freely provided entertainment.

"What the hell?!". The Queen asked, "Is'nt that my errant ex-husband
sitting there? And who is that girl! How did she get to be the toughest
@$%&#  of them all?"

    The mirror sighed. Here it was, a completely ordinary magic mirror, 
one
that did'nt even need to be rhymed at, yet was being asked the same 
inane
question everyday by a queen who seemed to believe that being a cold 
@$%&#
qualified her for the throne.

"Tis a young adjutant master who took  7 People Mining Inc. in her dojo 
in
the belief that they would provide free housekeeping services. The ploy
worked until Toast and Groggy started draining her resources. After that 
she
was no longer a tractable innocent maiden and turned, errr shall we say 
to
prevent this fic from obtaining a -PG rating, nasty."

"What bosh! My husband never did any housework for me! How dare she..",
Queen Snow White gathered her kimono up and left the room in a swish of
skirts and shawl.

"WEASEL!!!!"

              ***************************************

The Weasel Godmother sniffed. The next time she was getting script 
approval.
Weasel Godmother indeed! Her agent was going to pay for this. She 
mentally
envisaged her then...

"KANSATSU TOBI KUNAI!"

Queen Snow White entered just narrowly missed turning into a human
pincushion. She bristled.

"Weasel...."

"Don't call me that!"

"Fine,  Itachi Musume will have to do then," Tomoe waved her hand
dismissively at the fuming godmother, "Anyway. I have a problem that I 
need
you to fix now. It involves a woman, Rose Red, who is now being reputed 
to
be the toughest @$%&#. She currently abodes with 7 People Mining 
Inc...."

"Aoshi!!" *hearts*. The Weasel Godmother vanished with a puff of smoke.
Tomoe sighed. It was so hard to get good help these days.

              ***************************************

Groggy and Spiky B dragged out the sake as Rose Red proceeded to pound 
Spiky
C into pulped liver and onions.

"This is better than cinema"

"Pass me the popcorn de gozaru yo"

"Hey Toast, mind igniting these marshmallows in your hand again?"

"Gimme 15 minutes"

"...."

With a flutter of wings, Misao, the Weasel Godmother appeared and
immediately flung her hands around Aoshi's neck.

"...."

She waved her wand and Aoshi vanished in a cloud of smoke huge enough to
hide an elephant. The cloud dissipated leaving behind a disgustingly 
squat
green amphibian.

"It's the basic qualification to become a prince! Then he'll be my 
Prince
Charming. Heh! Heh!".The Weasel Godmother hummed 'Ice Blue Eyes' happily
while Aoshi croaked, "..."

A huge kodacha mallet dropped on Misao's head. "Ow!"

Tomoe's disembodied voice sounded out of the corners, "I thought you 
were on
the job..."

The dojo's walls dissolved and the two vertically challenged and five
extremely horizontally challenged people as well as Rose Red and the 
Weasel
Godmother appeared in the palace.

"You!," Tomoe said menacingly."How dare you force my beloved to work for
you. He's my HUSBAND!!"

"Ano. Tomoe..." Dummy reproached.

"SHUT UP!!" Snow White and Rose Red screamed.

              ***************************************

And everyone lived happily ever after, after finding their
not-so-much-better halves, except for Dummy who spent his life stuck 
between
two perpetually angry women, even when they were'nt suffering from PMS.

"He's mine!"

"No! He's mine!"

"Himura-san/Kenshin! Decide!"

"Orooooooroooroo..."

And for Toast, who ran off to Hell, after his kuni tori failed when 
Queen
Tomoe used him as a barbecue and forgot the lighter fluid.

OWARI

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Alright I did'nt mean to write this. It's all his fault! *points 
randomly at
trembling LIAC* It's spastic. I know it is...


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