NOTE: Yes, it's an original fic. Let's see how well it goes with you
guys...
***
Kiyakuma Makiko hated camping. She always had to carry everybody's
stuff
with her, and her body wouldn't accept the great amount of weight she
was
supporting after about fifteen minutes. She would always start whining,
not
caring about what dignity she might have had left, and people would tell
her
to be quiet, that they were having a good time. Of course, these were
the
same people whose stuff she carried on her back.
Not that her body had an excuse not to be able to carry all that stuff.
At
the tender age of 17, her body was well into development. Her muscles,
although not exactly body-builder spec, were maybe enough to lift
something
about her weight.
The stuff she was carrying--bags, tent, rations, and all--was just a
little
bit more than about her weight. She couldn't wait for the next day,
when
someone else would have to suffer her torture. She had to push her hair
out
of her face about twenty times that day, which was an amazing feat
considering
that her arms were loaded. She hated camping.
After three hours of strenuous torture, they stopped for a rest in a
field.
Makiko sighed relief, and dumped everything (which landed with a
CRASH!BANG!
THUD!CLANG! on the ground).
"Uh, guys? I'm gonna take a walk around. Gotta get my muscles to
work,"
Makiko said.
"Sure thing, Kiku. Be back in an hour, or else."
*Or else what? You'll carry your own stufF?* And with that, she walked
into
the woods.
She was stuck there for half an hour and couldn't find her way out.
*Damn it,
I could've sworn I came through here...*
Yup, getting lost was bad. She hated camping. Oh well, at least it
wasn't
rai--
*KRAKKABOOM* *shhhshhhshhhshhhshhh*
--Spoke too fast. *Great. Now I have to find shelter.* Her
T-shirt was
getting wet, to please the fanboys. She hated camping.
And after five minutes of looking around, she finally found a cave to
shelter
herself in. After looking inside and deciding that no, there wasn't a
wild
animal inside ready to eat her, she went in.
For those wondering, no, there wasn't a wild animal inside ready to eat
her.
If there was, this story would've been a helluva lot shorter.
What there was inside was a rock. It was practically inviting her to
sit on
it. Something about it made it shout "pick me! pick me!" over all the
other
rocks in the cave.
So she sat on it. After all, she had to wait until the rain stopped,
and she
didn't want to lay on the ground.
It was about that time that the sub-dimensional portal opened within the
cave.
She hated camping.
***
MECHA SERIES NINE
A completely random MechAnime parody
by Lawrence Chu
A Product of My Imagination
All characters and situations copyright ME! FINALLY, NO MORE
DISCLAIMERS!
HAHAHAHA! TAKE THAT, VIZ!
***
CHAPTER ONE: GENESIS DOES WHAT NINTENDO DON'T
***
It took Makiko about three minutes to stop screaming in terror at the
portal.
Not what was inside it, mind you, just the fact that there was a portal
in
itself was able to scare her witless. Face it, you'd be screaming too
if
something like that happened to you.
When she calmed down, she figured that there must have been something
inside
that portal. After all, in all those shows she watched, there was
always
something inside those portals. Apparently, this was one of those
solid-white
portals which nobody could see through.
A small alarm bell rang through the back of her head. *What if there's
something on the other side that'll kill you? That wouldn't be good,
would
it?*
Then, another voice spoke. *Ah, hell, it beats having to carry around
all of
that stuff for another two hours.*
The first voice nodded in agreement. With that settled, she held her
breath,
closed her eyes, and jumped into the portal.
***
Makiko saw white. Interesting because her eyes were closed the last
time she
checked.
Strange sensations were running through her body. It was like somebody
put a
little too much novacaine into her bloodstream. There was a slightly
erotic
sense to it, to please the fanboys. She may or may have not moaned a
little
bit, because she couldn't tell if she had a mouth. The dull feeling got
stronger and stronger until it hit her full on like a semi hitting the
ground
from the top of Mount Rushmore.
It was at that time that she appeared on the other side.
***
The place she landed in looked exactly like Narnia would if it were an
alien
scientist's lab. It even had the Faun Tumnus in it, or something of its
diminished stature. Maybe It was even more diminished than the Faun
Tumnus.
It stood a foot high. What It was working on was about thirty human
stories
tall.
Suddenly, It sensed a presence behind it and waved at Makiko. Makiko
sweatdropped a little and waved back, a bit timidly.
It made a gesture that said something like "come with me!" or could
definitely
be interpreted that way if It were using human hand gestures. For all
she
knew, it meant "I would like to mate with your pet mule" or "if you move
I
will kill you with a fig."
Of course, she didn't have a pet mule and she liked figs, so she moved
toward
It. And she got her first good look at what It was building.
It looked humanoid.
Finally, It opened its mouth and spoke:
***
Greetings. I have been expecting you to come. Your planet is in
extreme
danger, and you must defend it with the three others who will assist
you.
My name is Matato Ha'kuno, hailing from the planet Puumba. My people
are
somewhat more advanced technologically than yours, which you have no
doubt
noticed while walking in here. We were a proud civilization, until we
received your transmission.
I see you remain silent. It is almost as if you are aware of what your
people
did to mine. That single transmission killed half of our population as
it was
broadcast. It is because of this that my planet wishes to destroy
yours.
However, I am forgiving you of your crimes, for I understand that to be
the
only time an idol singer was ever allowed to be broadcast over radio,
and that
you had no intention of harming us. However, the government I work for
is
not as forgiving, and I fear that they are preparing troops right now.
You see, on my way to work about a year ago, I accidentally overheard a
segment of an official conversation taking place in a conference room,
and
they discussed this very idea. The minutes specifically stated that
they
were planning on attacking Earth to, and I quote, "blow things up. Oh,
yeah,
we might want to enslave the Earthlings or someting."
Since then, I have constructed this lab outside of work and been
constructing
this very tool for your use, as idol singing will no longer work.
Hence, I
present you this: The Mecha Series Nine. It is yours, as prophecied by
the
ancient Puumban lores. Your friends shall receive theirs in due time.
Fascinating story, no?
You still remain silent. Is this too much for you to handle? I can
understand if you believe it to be...
Don't worry, everything will be--oh, damn! I forgot to turn on the
translator
device! I KNEW I forgot something!
***
b $$P |"And I'll feel better
$$P $$ | in the morning,
d$$eee$$eeeee$$e | The pain will fade as
,d$P $$ | time goes by,
dP" $$ | What was taken, I won't
$$ | miss or I'll replace
eeeeeeeeeee$$eeeeeeee$$e | Nevermind me,
$$ | I'm all right."
,$$ $$ `b |--"Nevermind Me,"
,$$ $$ `b. | The Bosstones
d$P $$ `$b. |chu_bear@hotmail.com
,d$P $$ `$$bee |ICQ: LoopyChew, 8413137
edP" $$ `$$ |LoopyChew Music now
"7$P | officially blacked out.
__ __
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