In a message dated 3/22/99 7:22:03 PM, ranmakun@uswest.net writes:

Here it is.  Again I apologise for it being so short and
late, but school and other stuff came up.  Sorry.
-Sel

By your actions here, admitting that you ended the fic rather aburptly shows
that you are not putting in much effort into your fic. You were more concerned
about finishing your fanfic rather than writing a story.
Never, never rush your work. That's why majority fanfics fare poorly- because
the author wanted to finish off his/her work, no matter what, or didn't have
time. Those who use those reasons are ultimately doomed to fail in delivering
a decent fanfic.
Always take time to plan out your fic, and write what you feel appropiate. If
you don't have time at this moment, DON'T post it! Put it on hold until you
find an opening in your schedule and write a bit whenever you have a chance.
A week, or maybe months later you'll have finished the fic, and with much
better quality.

The End

Sorry for the abrupt ending but I wanted to get this done.
It is my first dark fic so it is not very good. Sorry again.

You used a poor choice of an ending there. IMHO, that sucicide event right
after being raped has been used repeatedly. What's worse is that you sinply
rushed the ending, and so the ending didn't have much of impact to it at all.
Which's too bad. You developed the beginning nicely, and the middle could use
a bit of revising, as well as adding bit more content. But you ended the fic
too aburptly, just when you had the opportunity to explain what really had
occured.
We never found out who raped Ranma, or what happened to him. The only thing to
suggest how he was raped was that he might've been drugged. Other that that,
we know nothing. We also have no idea what he had been doing prior to the
rape- was he drinking sake? Seemed like it, but WHY would he be drinking?
You sinply left too many things unexplained.
Also, you didn't give the story enough time to simmer and let the ideas sink
into it. You basically had the fic go like this:
1) Ranma appears at Tendo home half-naked and we find out that he's been raped
in his girl-form
2) Akane find out about the incident, but her help is rebuffed
3) Ranma dreams bad dreams
4) He commits suicide.
5) . . . (anything more?)

Was there REALLY a story here? To me, it doesn't look like it. What you have
here is the beginning of a conflict, but with no resolution. I can accept
suicide as a resoultion to the story, but it doesn't work this time because
there's almost nothing behind it.

Hope you enjoyed.

Nope, I didn't really enjoy the fic much at all, for the above reasons.

-Sel

Dark Alpha <AlphSailor@aol.com> formerly Sailor Alpha
Dark Alpha's G3 Fanfic Studio- Fanfics produced monthly!
	http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Bay/7233/
-G3 Fanfic Studio updated as of 03/22/99, 23:00:00 hours EST
	-And new look and MORE fanfics!