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By: Dreiser


	I don't believe in miracles. I've said that time and time again 
and I'll continue to say it as my life goes on.
	But if I don't believe in miracles then why is she here? Her 
presence in my dojo is in itself a miracle. I never expected to see her 
again. Not after the way we parted... the way we all parted. The fall 
of Ohtori was not a pleasant one.
	Then again what falls ever pleasant? Besides the seasonal kind 
of course. She nears me in the same steady gait that I've always 
admired. There is a charming confidence in her walk that endears her 
to me. That endears her to many.
	I may be admired but I'm also feared. None fear her. Not 
even those she defeats. She has an unflappable talent for making her 
enemies her friends. It's something I would wish to have if I were a 
more sociable person.
	Fortunately I'm not. The only people I want or need around 
are those who wish to challenge my sword. I'm a born competitor and 
to live I need conflict.
	It's too bad that most of the conflict I receive isn't in my 
chosen realm of fencing but rather in my personal life. I know she's 
well aware of this of because she's the cause of the conflict. At least a 
good portion of it.
	She stops in front of me and smiles gently. I can feel my jaw 
clench at action. Already my barriers are rising. I've made the mistake 
of letting her in once and I'm not about to 
make the same mistake again.
	"I've missed you."
	For this comment I reward her with a derisive look and I can 
see her flinch under it. Good. She deserves that. The pain of rejection. 
You just don't abandon someone then expect to walk back into their 
life free and clear. It doesn't work that way in the real world. In the 
real world we have a thing called bitterness and spite.
	She ought to learn about those things now that she's finally 
been propelled out of the fairy tale world that she has existed in the 
past few years. Perhaps I'm being a bit harsh. I existed within that 
fairy tale world. We all did to some degree but the world was of her 
making...
	Out of us all she wanted it the most. She wanted that damned 
fairy tale world that her oh so perfect Prince existed in. She wanted it 
and she made me want it too.
	Want it and want her. Want her beautiful innocence. Want her 
joy of living. Want her hope. Want her belief, that unending belief in 
miracles.
	I meet her gaze and I know she's waiting for my reply. A 
twisted smile forms on my lips as I answer.
	"Oh, really? I wouldn't have guessed. After all, you never kept 
touch."
	She licks her lips nervously and fiddles with her hands behind 
her back. Curse her. Why must she be this way? So dangerously 
charming in her own ignorance.
	"I wanted to..."
	Her voice trails off softly and she drops her gaze from mine to 
look at her hands now folded neatly in front of her. I follow this action 
and my eyes narrow at what I see.
	"You're wearing the ring."
	"Yes."
	My jaw is clenched again and my hands are balled into fists. 
I'm shaking with repressed rage and she knows it. She has seen me 
like this many times before.
	"Why?"
	She lifts her eyes to lock with my own and they're no longer 
filled with tenderness. There is a quiet rage held inside them that 
matches my own.
	"Why do you wear the locket?"
	At this I can only stare at her with what I know must be a 
dumbfounded expression. Why am I wearing the locket? I've always 
worn the locket... always. It's become just as much a part of me as 
she has. To not wear the locket would to be something other than 
myself.
	Is that why she wears the ring still? Has he become just as 
much a part of her? It makes sense I suppose. He was the center of 
her existence for most of her life. Even with him gone and that part of 
her life destroyed she still can feel his influence over her.
	As I can feel her influence over me.
	So I clutch at my locket and she touches her ring. Our eyes 
meet once again and it's electric. The space between us evaporates 
and only air separates us.
	She breaks our gaze to stare anxiously at the floor. Her hands 
are once again behind her back as she asks.
	"Did... did you miss me?"
	I smile at this question. Did I miss her? Of course I missed 
her. I missed her like a starving man misses food. To a person like me 
she's life itself. I'm not particularly good at living but she is and when 
I'm with her I find that I am too.
	"Yes, I missed you."
	Her head lifts and reveals a pair of shining blue eyes. Oh how 
I've longed to see them these past lonely months. I can't believe she 
came here. I can't believe she found me.
	My hands are shaking as they gently cup her face and tip it 
upwards to look more deeply into my own. I swallow the lump in my 
throat and sort out what I want to say next. Words have never been 
my forte. And it was my failure in the ways of emotional expression 
that cost me my first love. I'll not let it cost me her as well.
	"I... I..."
	I cannot find the words. I cannot find them and for that I will 
lose her as I've lost the one before. The pain tugs at my heart and I 
realize the cause of it. The cause for the fear that clutches at my soul 
and hers as well.
	In a smooth movement I rip the thin gold chain from my neck 
and throw my locket carelessly across the dojo. She gasps at this 
action and I reach out to softly cup her chin in my hand. Slowly I lead 
her gaze back to me.
	"She means nothing to me now. I throw her away like I throw 
away our past. You're all I want now."
	I watch her lower her eyes to the ring that he gave to her 
during the moment of her ultimate suffering. She looks at that ring then 
looks at me and in a jerky movement she pulls if off her finger to 
throw it in the direction my locket landed.
	Blue eyes smile at me like they did so long ago and her voice 
has a playful lilt as she responds.
	"He means nothing to me now. I throw him away like I throw 
away our past. You're all I want now."
	A smile curls on my lips. How long has it been since I've 
smiled? Since the last time I saw her.
	In a smooth movement I pull her closer to me and she gives a 
startled cry at this gesture. Gradually she relaxes into my hold and 
rests her hands lightly on my hips. Our faces are inches apart and the 
feel of her hot breath on my skin drives me insane.
	With sweeping strength I possess her lips with my own and 
she meets my passionate embrace with an eagerness I wouldn't have 
expected from her. When we finally pull apart for the need of air she 
says my name like a prayer.
	"Juri."
	I can feel another smile cross my lips. I've never smiled this 
much in one day and I know it will only get worse with her at my side. 
She's far too cheerful for her own good.
	The back of my hand gently strokes her cheek and as she 
leans into my touch I say her name in turn.
	"Utena."

-End-

Both characters in this fanfiction are from Revolutionary Girl Utena 
which is what I consider to be the best shojoai series available in 
Anime today. I really don't know why I wrote this fanfic other than the 
fact that the little girl in me wants to see these two characters happy. 
In particular I really do want to see Juri find some degree of joy in her 
life. She's second to Ukyo in my list of favorite Anime ladies and I 
think Shiori must be insane for liking Ruka over her. Well enough of 
my weird soapbox. I'm off to watch the preview clip of the Utena 
movie again.

Send comments to: Dreiser1@ix.netcom.com

"Shot through the heart and you're to blame. You give love a bad 
name. I play my part and you play your game. You give love a bad 
name."
-Bon Jovi-