Happi Days chapter one
by Gregg Sharp     final draft      2/24/99
Ranma 1/2 characters and situations are tm 
Rumiko Takahashi. This fanfic is written
entirely for amusement, noncommercial, and
can be distributed freely should anyone actually
feel inclined to. This is a final version, which
includes some clean up, the two sidestories done
by other authors (Nightelf & SKJAM) but is largely
unchanged from the originally posted version.
  
http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com/
metroanime@mindspring.com


Somewhere in China,1993: a cloudy night
 Even through the murk of the clouds, the scene
would be familiar to dozens of people. It would also
be familiar to many of those who had never been here,
but knew those who had.
 Over a hundred pools, bamboo poles sticking out
of each of these cold water springs, in an almost 
insignificantly small valley in the Bayankala mountain
range. Insignificant in size only, as those who bore
the curse of Jusenkyo would ever admit that this was
where their lives were forever changed.
      Few come to this location knowing of the curses,
more come ignorant of the horrors of the cursing pools
and thus come as easy victims.
 Two figures could be seen meeting at one end of
the valley, staying well away from the pools as these
two know full well that chaos and chance will always 
favor the pools claiming another victim.
 A short figure is discussing some matter with
a somewhat taller person on this cloudy night.
 "I don't care what you're going to use it for,"
the taller figure said. "All I care about is revenge on
Ranma Saotome and the others for the humiliation that
they dared inflict upon me!"
 "Cursed springwater from Jusenkyo," the short
man said nodding. "Concentrated down to its maximum
potency. Say, what would happen if I used it in the
concentrated form?"
 "Nothing. You have to add at least three parts
water to the concentrate for it to have an effect. The
regular mix is ten parts water. Dilute it any further
and the effects become temporary, giving the Juusenkyo
curse but only for a few years at best." The moon
peeked from behind a cloud, revealing a young man who
stood strong and proud. An arrogant cast to his features
and somewhat inhuman look would identify him to some as
Prince Herb of the Musk Dynasty.
 "Is there any way, save the Chiisatuon to lock
them in the cursed form, or change their personality?"
The other figure was roughly half the height of Prince
Herb, and at least four times the teenager's age. The
evil and lecherous master of martial arts known as
Happosai, called by some panty-thief and by others the
most evil martial arts master in the world. "After all,
we both have grudges against Ranma."
 "It is ONLY because of that fact," explained 
Herb as darkness moved across the field again, "that
I am helping you at all. Phoenix Mountain has assisted
in this, as many of their citizens have also reason to
hate Saotome and his meddling. Particularly his arrogance
and obnoxious ways. "That is why you will have this." A 
large wooden ladle was handed to Happosai.
 "Ah, a copy of the Chiisatuon? Sweet." Happosai
smiled as he took the ladle, an evil smile on his face.
He avoided saying anything about Herb calling Ranma 
arrogant or obnoxious was rather like one piece of cast
iron insulting another about their mutual color.
"This locks them in their form, but what about the 
personality?"
 "Splash them with cursed water using that ladle, 
and you lock them in their cursed form forever. None of
the usual transformation from cursed to normal forms 
depending on the water temperature you use. As for the
rest, actually, Happosai, I'm surprised you didn't think of
this. There is a Spring Of Virtuous Man, but did you
not think that there would be other springs of a similar
nature? After all, there are 131 different springs in
this valley, and only thirteen springs lack a template."
 "Spring Of Virtuous Woman?" Happosai couldn't
see where that would be a particularly good vengeance.
He wanted to have fun while he was at it.
 "Actually there was a young bride who drowned
in one of the other pools one thousand two hundred
years ago. Until you supplied us with things like
electric water pumps and rubber permaseal hoses, it
was not easy to get to it, however. Now, we drained it
twice, concentrated and distilled it, and will use the
future waters for our own purposes. You, however, have
the task of transporting forty gallons of concentrated
Juusenkyo Spring Of Drowned Bishojo Bride water back to
Japan."
 "Which will make four hundred gallons of the
curse water," said Happosai happily. "That MIGHT be
enough for my plans."
 "Whatever," Herb gave a wave of his hand. He 
didn't like leaving his Citadel and he liked dealing
with the founder of the Anything Goes martial arts 
style even less. "This concludes our business. You'll
find the casks of concentrate at the end of the Valley 
by dawn, and you already have the copy of the sacred ladle.
I will warn you that the psychological effects are NOT going
to be immediate, however. Depending on the strength of
will, it could potentially take months for the effects
to take place. As long as they are locked in that form,
they WILL convert eventually. The identity remains the
same, as will memories, but the cultural attitudes and
overall personality will eventually conform to the
template."
 "It's perfect," Happosai said and began to
laugh. He barely noticed when Herb left.
 ----------------
Events were already moving that made Happosai's job
of revenge more difficult than he had planned.
 "OYAJI!" The main gate to the Tendo-ke fell
off its hinges and slid a few feet towards the house.
That it was nearly a foot thick, eight feet wide, 
and ten feet high made this somewhat impressive.
 A panda, which was Genma Saotome's Jusenkyo
cursed form, and Soun Tendo came out of the house
to see if this was another dojo destroyer or merely
more bill collectors following one of Happosai's
training missions.
 Genma and Soun Tendo looked over to where 
Ranma was standing. Ranma had numerous little cuts,
bruises, one sizable bruise covering one side of his
face, what looked like a few burned patches on his
clothing, and a missing patch of hair showing the
reddish brown of recently dried blood on the piece
of scalp thus revealed.
 [Excuse me?] The panda held up a sign after a
moment in which the angry young man merely glared at
the two parents.
 "Does the name HARENCHI ring any bells with
you?"
 The sign flipped. [I don't recall.]
 "You sold me AGAIN!"
 "Genma, you didn't!" Soun snarled. Sometimes
he wondered if Genma was as dedicated as he was to the
uniting of the two schools through the arranged marriage
of Akane and Ranma.
 "Oh yes, he DID. To make matters worse, guess
who sold the information to one Yohko Harenchi?" Ranma
glared around until he spotted a short haired girl in
fairly revealing clothing. "HOW MUCH DID YOU GET FOR 
THAT INFORMATION?!"
 "5000 yen, a steal at that price." The mercenary
girl smirked at the thought of all the money she could
continue to make off this situation.
 Battle aura flared, the same shade of angry blue
that Akane usually manifested. Nabiki blinked at the sight.
Ranma didn't hit girls, however she had never seen him this
close to completely losing control.
 "First she shows up and challenges me to a
battle. Did you know she uses whips, chains, manacles,
and various 'accessories' in battle? I wasn't sure if
she was going to kill me from sheer embarrasment there!
 "Then, big surprise, she manages to splash me. Cold
water, of course, so I turn into a girl. You HAD to sell
her info about my curse, didn't you? Turns out she swings
both ways, and is coming after me with all sorts of playtoys
now!"
  Genma-panda held up a sign, however it seemed to
explode for no adequately explored reason. Perhaps the
smouldering aura surrounding Ranma's right fist had 
something to do with it.
 "Considering what she's trying to do with that one
'accessory', I duck into the kitchen, grab some hot water,
and change back into a guy fast. But wait, it gets worse!
 "After wrecking a good part of the school,
Kodachi comes swinging in, decides she likes the whip
concept too, after all it is CLOSE to her ribbon, and
I have another sick twisted woman trying the 'hundred
lashes' attack on me." Ranma lashed out, a spin kick
that tore through another sign that Genma had pulled
out, and slammed into the panda's head. "Then at lunch
Shampoo comes by with some ramen, Ukyou with some
okonomiyaki, and Akane starts giving me grief about
Yohko, Ukyou, Shampoo, PLUS some girl named Kotono that
I've never heard of!"<SWEEPING SIDE KICK>
 "I see fuse bombs coming in the middle of all
this, courtesy of that damn Chemistry Club, and I knock
Akane to the ground when they go off. What does my 
wonderful fiancee do?"<KICK> "She starts beating on me
for being on top of her! Shampoo glomps me, Ukyou starts fighting
with Shampoo, and Akane" <KICK> "starts hitting me with
a fire extinguisher and tells me in great detail" <KICK> 
"how much she HATES me."<KICK> "Ryouga hears this, and starts doing
his" <KICK> "Breaking point technique" <SIDE KICK> "to
make me pay for making Akane upset." <SPINNING BACK 
KICK>
 "I....HAVE....HAD...IT!" <DROP KICK> This was
made more impressive in that Genma's panda form was
considerably more massive than Ranma. "THE ENGAGEMENTS,
ALL OF THEM, ARE OFF!"
 Soun had watched this display impassively until
this last line. Then the demon head chi attack again came
into play. "How Dare You, Sa-o-to-me!"
 Ranma glared at him. "Try me, Mister Tendo. Just
try it. I am in no mood for your theatrics, and I just
do not care about your feelings, nor anyone else who has
been manipulating me for the past three years. That is
it, that is all, no more!"
 Soun stopped. He was angry, but not so much
that a survival instinct didn't immediately make 
itself known. He was sufficiently close enough to
Ranma to feel heat actually coming off of the younger
boy from his anger.
 Nabiki snorted. "Oh, come on, now, Ranma, you
don't really expect me to believe..." <THUNK>
 Without appearing to move, Ranma was suddenly
behind Nabiki and touched a set of pressure points on
her back. She abruptly stopped moving.
 "I'm leaving," he informed the paralyzed Nabiki
"I am NOT coming back, and if you really want me to get
pissed off, you will PERSONALLY regret it."
 Nodding at Kasumi, Ranma walked upstairs. A few
moments later he was back down, his backpack over one
shoulder. "Kasumi, let Dr Tofu know I've hit her
paralysis spots. Thanks for all you've done. You've at
least tried to be nice about it."
 Kasumi smiled. "Take care, Ranma."
 He nodded, still not smiling, and left the
Tendo-ke without a single glance back.
 Kasumi watched him leave, turned back to Nabiki
and quietly hit a series of spots along her paralyzed
sister's back. Nabiki abruptly collapsed as her muscles
relaxed all at once. 
 "Don't try to move just yet, Nabiki, your 
muscles will need a few moments to recover from that."
 "Urrrrggghhh."
 "You know you were quite fortunate, with his
being drugged like that, he could easily have hit the
wrong areas and paralyzed your heart muscles as well."
 "Drugged..." Nabiki managed from the floor.
 "Drugged?" Soun Tendo asked quietly.
 Kasumi shrugged. She hadn't read all those
medical books and studied Chinese Medicine without
learning a few things. "There were signs...I hope I
wasn't mistaken."
 "Yes, as a matter of fact he WAS drugged."
said a short and ancient figure, appearing quite without
warning. She forestalled the usual leap to conclusions
by adding that it was "NOT by Shampoo, however."
 "Who then?" Soun wasn't quite sure whether to
believe Cologne or not. Still, any explanation that
might make this a temporary situation was something
he was willing to listen to.
 "Mousse." Cologne moved into view from where
she had been hidden in the shadows. "Mousse found
an antidote for Passion Spice, and thinking that
Shampoo had drugged son-in-law's ramen, added the
Passionate Spice. Right now, son-in-law's emotional
state will be very volatile over the next twelve hours.
No matter what the emotion, he will experience it in
the extremes beyond anything he has felt before. While
it would merely counteract Passion Spice if that was
present, this Spice by itself will cause him to 
swing from extreme to extreme until the drug works its
way through his system."
 "Oh my," Kasumi managed. "If Akane should act 
normally and start a fight with him NOW."
 "We gotta warn her..." Nabiki got up slowly
from the floor. She abruptly sat back down as various
groups of muscles advised her that this was a Bad Idea.
"Still, it's not as if he doesn't have SOME control. 
If he were that bad, I'd probably be dead right now."
 "True," Cologne nodded. "Son-in-law does have
his honor and some degree of discipline. I would not
want to be present, however, when those restraints are
broken. A berserker is not a pleasant companion."
 Everyone thought seriously about the possibility
of Ranma-the-Berserk-Killer and shuddered. Kasumi 
immediately called Doctor Tofu who could help find 
Akane and warn her.
 Unfortunately, Doctor Tofu heard the voice of his
beloved and his brain switched off.
 Cologne continued her search for Shampoo. Nabiki
went to sell info to Ukyou, Kuno, and Ryouga. Soun 
watched Genma slowly crawl out of the yard to the shogi
board. This would be a long night, and not a gentle one
to his nerves.
 "Wait a minute, Saotome!" Soun stopped abruptly.
"If ANY emotion is made stronger by this Spice, we can
use this opportunity to have Ranma confess his love to
Akane!"
 [I don't know. Look what happened when we
tried to get the two of them drunk.] The sign was 
written a little sloppily by the panda this time.
 "Oh, that was a just a FLUKE. Besides, only
one of them is affected this time!"
 The sign flipped. [You DO remember what 
happened when they got drunk, don't you?]
 "Ranma spent three hours blubbering about
not being able to see his mother, and Akane grabbed
that large knife and was saying something about 
making both Ranma's forms women. She calmed down..."
 [She passed out.]
 "Oh yeah. Well, Ranma did hit you rather hard
didn't he?" Soun thought about it. "Well, then, why
don't we see what we can get from this Chinese Medicine
catalog the Master stole from the Nekohanten?"
 [As long as it doesn't involve finding that
ungrateful boy tonight.] The sign flipped down. Genma
was feeling rather like a throw rug at the moment.
------------------------------------
 A day went by, and then another. There was 
still no sign of Ranma. Things quieted down some
around the Tendo dojo, with the exception of Tatewaki
Kuno's renewed attacks on Akane to prove his love by
pounding on her with a woooden practice sword, Hikaru
Gosunkugi's purchase of the 'CookBook Of Chinese Alchemy
For Beginners', and Soun scraping together enough money 
to mail order some odd things like 'Love Potion 69' and 
'Golden Passion Dust Elixir.'
 (Both Soun and Genma ignored the warnings
for both potions. The Love Potion warning dealt with
"potential" side effects, and the Elixir warned that
continued use would be habit-forming.)
 (Meanwhile, Gosunkugi had discovered that the
book itself was in Chinese and the available Chinese-
Japanese dictionaries weren't really that much help.)
------------------------------------
 "I'm back...." Happosai said quietly in the 
maintenence room at Furinkan Senior High School.
He'd spent some time readying THIS nasty. Still, he was
sure to get Ranma with this, and most likely 
everyone would BLAME Ranma for their sudden
transformation. That this would be such wonderful
eye candy for him would also be perfect.
 He waited for just after the bell announcing
the start of the second class, where the number of
people outside their classrooms would be minimum.
 First he'd disconnected the sprinkler system
and drained it. Then he'd used the dipping bucket to
refill the pipes, blocked the ends, and then done a
little sabotage on sprinkler heads from one end of 
Furinkan Senior High School to the other. He'd 
completely disconnected the sprinklers in this room.
 With a laugh and images of what would happen
to fuel him on, he reconnected the water pipes, and
water pressure slammed through the pipes a moment
later.
 Happosai felt a moment's regret, after all
this had used most of the four hundred gallons that
he could make with current supplies. As he heard the
shrieks and screams coming from inside, though, he
felt the results would be worth it.
 Happosai moved away, just avoiding a janitor
who came racing into the room to turn the water
off again. Happosai watched as the woman in ill-fitting
clothing struggled with the shut off valve without the
upper body strength that she had used to have.
 Happosai ran chuckling through the hallway, exiting
the school a moment later. He wanted plenty of room for
the fight.
 Happosai looked towards the door and realized
that staying behind to gloat might not have been a 
good move. A number of students had seen him. As he
bounded away, he considered this almost as good. So
Ranma wouldn't be blamed for this, but Ranma WOULD know
who had trapped him in female form. Happosai was a 
little disappointed, though, as Ranma hadn't immediately
charged out and attacked.
 Behind him a small crowd had formed, with some
of them going into shock, others angry, still others
(a distinct minority and already wearing school dresses)
were admiring the changes in their figures.
 Hiroshi-chan peeled her wet shirt away from her
breasts and glanced miserably over at Daisuke-chan. 
"I don't envy Ranma nearly as much as I used to."
 Daisuke-chan nodded, equally miserable. "So it
was Happosai who did this..."
 The name was picked up by others who repeated
it. More former guys made the transition from shocked
and babbling to thoroughly pissed. When the discovery
was made that hot water had no effect, battle auras
began to flare.
 Search-and-destroy parties were quickly 
organized and dispatched.
------------------------------------
 A small crowd of people, foreigners by the look of
them, were standing outside the Nerima Animate store.
Happosai chuckled a little. He'd noticed how well
built some of those students had looked, and was quite
curious what the effect on gaijin would be like.
 The device looked an awful lot like a dayglo
flamethrower. He'd had to take some waterproof caulking
and reseal a number of the joints, as even tiny little
leaks were not something he'd wanted to deal with.
 "Two minutes still to opening," one of the
gaijin was saying as he glanced at a watch.
 <SHOOM!> Happosai landed on the other side
of the small and now wet crowd. Another five gallons
down, he noted. Flipping up and over to the roof of
a building, he turned to witness the results of his
work. "Sweet-o." Happosai immediately went to the
other device he had and started snapping photographs.
This was a dream come true, he couldn't believe he
hadn't thought of something like this before. All he
had to do was escape before those below finished
climbing up the side of the building to rip him apart.
 Snapping two more photos, Happosai vanished.
He left behind a note saying that if they wanted to
turn back, they needed to take it up with Ranma Saotome.
 Unfortunately, very few of those reading the
note were that good at kanji, and those that were 
had little doubt that this was some sort of trap.
 When a search-and-destroy party of young high
school girls showed up, the truth came out, and a
somewhat larger party left with visions of beating
a little old man like a pinata filling their heads.
 Of course, that still left a small group of
wet and badly dressed young women who proved that 
they were indeed otaku, for nothing this minor would
keep them from their shopping trip. One in particular
was thinking that the Sailor Moon fuku in the window
looked just TOO kawaii.
--------------------------------
 Meanwhile, on a small boat, hundreds of miles
away, a pigtailed girl sat up and wondered where the
hell she was. Why did she have this empty space in her
memories, where she vaguely remembered yelling at the
Tendos. She'd stalked off then, she remembered THAT 
much. Then she'd had the panic attack and had started
to run. Everything was a blur after that.
 Finally a vague memory of crawling aboard a
ship and hiding as fear had just increased beyond all
conscious thought. Ranma sighed, she had to have been
drugged, that was the only thing that made any sense
to her.
        Ranma wondered what was happening back in
Nerima. No doubt everyone was far happier without her
around anyway. Akane always hitting her, Nabiki always
using her, and all the people who saw her as an object
or as some prize to be won. It didn't matter if she was
a he or a she at the time, it just changed who was doing
it at the time.
 Ranma decided she wouldn't go back just yet,
she really needed some quiet time to think, and she just
could not see that happening back at the old stomping
grounds.
===============================
    chapter 1 end.
terms:____
    BISHOJO: "beautiful girl" usually refers to one of
around High School age.
    FUKU or SEIFUKU:  school uniform, particularly one
of the girl's sailor suit varieties.
    FURO: a Japanese style bath. there is usually a
small room for changing clothes, an area for washing
or rinsing off (cold water), and a tub of hot water for
soaking in after having cleaned off.
    GAIJIN: foreigner. Has considerable negative 
connotations in Japan.
    KANJI: There are the hiragana and katakana which
are the two alphabets, plus romanized letters for words
which are sounded out. There's also the kanji, which is
the ideographic written language of Japanese. There are
over 1500 "letters" in the kanji alphabet.
    KAWAII: cute. Cute has considerable cultural 
significance in Japan. See also Tokyo Cosplay Girls 
page for examples. a link to it can be found at 
http://www.nyx.net/~wsantoso/cosplay.html
     NERIMA: a suburb of Tokyo which is the setting
for such series as "Ranma 1/2" and "Catgirl Nuku Nuku"
much in the manner of all the American superhero comics
set in New York or New York style cities.
     NERIMA ANIMATE STORE: Animate is a series of stores
specializing in products dealing with anime or Japanese
animation. this author doesn't know if there's one in Nerima,
but there probably should be.
    OTAKU: fanboy. Outside of Japan means simply someone
who is a fan. In Japan it is rather more insulting and
means someone who is fanatically obsessed. There are
racecar otaku, anime otaku, hentai otaku, sewing otaku,
cosplay otaku, financially focussed otaku, etc.
    PASSION SPICE: a fanfic convention, not in TOS,
a form of aphrodisiac.
    PASSIONATE SPICE: something invented for this 
fanfic. It can nullify passion spice, but if no passion
spice is present it intensifies natural emotions to the
extremes.
    PINATA: A paper mache sculpture hung from the ceiling
which is then beaten on until it falls apart. Usually filled
with candies or something similar. Mexican. To be beaten like
a pinata would therefore not be a pleasant experience.
    SHAMPOO: A Chinese Amazon and one of Ranma's fiancees.
    TOS: The Original Series. Note that there are 
conflicts between the manga and the anime, and that 
there are instances in both where even the official
version of the character is acting Out Of Character
from the rest of the series. (Both Ranma and Ukyou in
the Reversal Jewel episode immediately come to mind.)
    UKYOU: Ukyou Kuonji. A crossdressing girl who makes
okonomiyaki (Japanese pizzas) and is one of Ranma's fiancees.
Uses a really big spatula as polearm.
-----------
Happi Days 2: Week 1, Later that same day
all char are (c) way too damn many of the rich and
powerful, i didn't come up with anything but the
situation.
                   Metroanime@mindspring.com

 The sprinklers had gone off just as the second
period had started. There had also been a telltale
thunk through the pipes, that of water suddenly slamming
into more water that had been in the pipes to begin
with.
 Nabiki quietly pulled her plastic three ring
binder off her desk and held it over her head as the
water came down all around her. It was, unfortunately,
not quite quickly enough to keep her from getting damp.
Then came the shock as she saw exactly WHAT was 
happening in Furinkan Senior High School on this spring 
day.
 Nyanniichuan was her immediate leap of deduction.
Somebody had rigged the sprinklers with the cursed 
waters of Juusenkyo's "Spring Of Drowned Girl" and she
was watching the results with a certain horror. At the
very least this would cut into her sales of photos of
Ranma-chan and Akane.
  Except that it didn't look like "girl" was 
quite the correct term. "Supermodel" might be a
better description.
 There were a number of women in class who were
wearing the male school uniform, and the uniforms didn't
even come close to fitting correctly. She noted that the
Blue Thunder was one of the former boys who had just 
gone completely into shock and weren't moving beyond
the hands. The hands moving over their own bodies and
reporting that Something Very Bad had just happened.
 Nabiki frowned as she realized that she too had
been affected by the waters. Her figure had been tweaked
but not by much, and she seemed a little shorter though
it was only by a couple of inches at most.
 The water abruptly stopped, though Nabiki 
doubted many of those affected were really capable of
noticing at that point.
 Nabiki waved a hand in front of Kuno's face,
noting no reaction. Moving to the window, she looked
around and noticed a short figure bouncing away from
the school grounds. "Happosai did it."
 Nobody noticed that Nabiki had been sufficiently
rattled that she had just given information away for
free. Only the directed rage they were feeling allowed
some of the people there to feel anything at all.
 Tatewaki Kuno stared down at her breasts for a
brief moment, then drew her bokken. "THAT SORCERER 
SHALL PAY FOR HIS VILE DEEDS!"
 For once, a large number of individuals agreed
with Tatewaki Kuno. The mob began to move, a group of
people that were united by a single purpose. In this 
case it was Vengeance. Later would come the solitary 
heart-searching, the crying and the feelings of loss.
Now was the time to get even. Right now, it was
something to focus on besides what had just happened
to them, and THAT was something gratefully accepted.
 Nabiki watched, idly working on ways that she
could turn this to her advantage. A lot of people would
require their uniforms and regular clothing to be 
altered to fit the changed bodies. Kasumi was good at
such things, perhaps a business opportunity was here?
 Nabiki noted the crowd below. Hiroshi as a
buxom brunette, Daisuke a slender but curvaceous beauty
running nearby, Ukyou -recognizable by her battle 
spatula and having burst out of her breast bindings,
her sister Akane's hair seemed to have lengthened and
her own figure had been enhanced somewhat, a thin 
young lady that could only be Gosunkugi, and all the
other students that she could recognize but altered
into somewhat shapelier young ladies.
 Noting that Tetsuo had been absent from class
today, the usual smirk appeared on her face. She could
contact him and sell him news of this event, or she
could wait till the recent transfer student from Juuban
showed up and be amused as he went into shock. From his
stories, he had seen youma attacking the school, but
how well could he handle THIS?
 Shaking her head, Nabiki went to the bathroom,
as her own breasts were a little too tight against the
fabric of her dress. So it was Nabiki who discovered
that hot water was ineffective. She sold that info
but others gave it away quite freely soon after.
 Then came the thought that Happosai had done
this here, what if he had more of this water, where
would he go next? Nabiki's eyes widened. This was
Very Bad, but she could think of a lot of ways this
could get worse. She had to hurry.
---------------------^_^-----------------------
 Soun turned on the television, the shogi board
would have to wait until Kasumi finished cleaning that
area. What he saw had him immediately call out to the
large panda that was prowling in the kitchen.

VOICEOVER: "...and our reporter in the field is now
 at the site of the disaster!"
 The picture shows a middle-aged man standing
in front of Furinkan High School. For once, there are
no hangers on behind the reporter waving and making
inane statements like "hi mom." Instead the camera is
panning over a crowd of women, some in male school
uniforms, some wearing suits, some wearing gym clothes.
 "Wataru Kurankute reporting for EyeWitness
News. Today at Furinkan Senior High School in Nerima
there was an event even stranger than the usual goings
on. Furinkan has become a School For Girls like their
longtime rival Saint Hebereke, however this has not
been accomplished by a zoning or school policy change."
 Soun and Genma exchanged a glance.
 [This looks bad.] read a sign from Genma-p.
 "My daughters, what has happened to my poor
daughters?" Soun's tears began to flood the floor.
 Kasumi brought a mop quickly before the wooden
floor could warp. "Oh my. Do you mean they could 
have been turned into girls?"
 Soun and Genma glanced at Kasumi, shrugged, and
turned back to the set. Kasumi smiled.
 A student wearing a t-shirt that was WAY too
damn tight over her breasts was doing an excellent 
imitation of Soun's usual crying jag. "It's GONE! I've
got THESE now, and my life is RUINED! What can I do?
I...I...I'm better stacked than my GIRLFRIEND! WAAAAH!"
<CRUNCH> <THUD> An unidentified woman came up and
started beating the speaker over the head.
 The camera went back to Wataru. "The events
continue to occur throughout Nerima. We have reports
that two eateries were hit by the same unexplained
events!"
 A picture of a young-looking Cologne standing
outside the Nekohanten alongside a Chinese woman in
white with "coke bottle" glasses.
 A picture of Ucchan's with a wet Konatsu and
a damp mailbox being shown. Both the mailbox and the
female ninja appeared to be yelling at each other. 
 Some woman with circular glasses looking 
thoroughly bewildered outside Dr Tofu's clinic.
 A crowd of gaijin women in clothes that don't
fit right in a similar manner to everyone else's. One
of them is running out of the store with a Sailor Moon
fuku that looks like it will fit.
 A small group of Japanese businesswomen who were
likewise wearing men's clothing that didn't fit at all
right. One was apparently going into hysterics, while
the rest were showing their dedication to the Japanese
ideal of "enduring hardship through stoicism."
 "This film," said Wataru offscreen, "was filmed
during a martial arts match in Nerima's Battlebowl(tm)
Arena by an amateur cameraman."

   A poorly lit scene displayed two muscular men,
each wearing a gi. One wore a red gi and was a 
blond haired gaijin. The other wore a white gi and 
was just as obviously the Japanese home favorite.
White gi: "It has been years since we have fought, are
  you sure that the soft life in America has not made
  you too weak to fight me?"
Red gi: "Get a life, why don't you?"
<SPLASH! SPLASH!> A blur goes by the camera.
  The woman in the white gi went absolutely still
in shock, then realized that the gi is mainly open in
the front. She made a startled sound and covered up.
  The woman in the red gi looked down at herself and
checked to see if they're real. Looking around,
she spotted the cameraman and yelled something. The 
screen abruptly went blank.

 The scene switched back to Wataru. "We're still
trying to analyze the tape to determine what exactly
is going on and determine the authenticity of the" The
newscaster broke off as he looked at something happening
to his left.
<SPLASH! SPLASH!>
 Wataru looked down at herself and fainted. The
camera angle changed to show a short and wrinkled up
old man with some sort of super soaker device in his
hands. He was laughing, and it appeared to be Evil Laugh
#17 (maniacal "I'm so clever" laugh.)

Back at the dojo, Genma and Soun turned pale and visibly
sweated. "M-m-m-master?!"
 "Oh my."

    The figure on the TV pointed a finger at the camera.
"RANMA! I don't know how you knew to avoid school 
today, but all this happening is YOUR fault. If you
don't surrender yourself to my revenge, I will continue
my attacks on ALL YOU HOLD DEAR!" Happosai glanced to
the side. "You've got a lot to answer for. You don't
fight girls? Well, now you won't have ANYONE to spar
with except ME! It's permanent, it affects the mind,
and there's NO CURE! Oops gotta run."
 The camera angle changed again as the camera
operator shows Happosai running, a pack of former 
schoolboys giving hot pursuit. The camera operator's
voice, obviously a young woman, can be heard giving
encouragement to the crowd to do something <censored>
to the little <censored>.

Soun looked at Genma. Genma looked at Soun. Genma 
quietly left and returned with a backpack. Soun hefted
his own backpack. With a nod to each other they exited
the front door.
<SPLASH! SPLASH!> Happosai ran by, pausing just long
enough to target the two fathers and then race ahead
of the pack of schoolgirls.
 Genma, now a 17 year old woman with pale skin
and very dark hair, looked at Soun, now bearing a strong
resemblence to his eldest daughter. Soun exchanged a 
miserable glance with Genma. Turning around they went 
back to the shogi board.
 Kasumi, ever helpful, found a few things of
hers that would fit her father better than that tacky
brown gi. Now why did her father immediately start 
to cry upon seeing the dress?
 The night went otherwise relatively peacefully,
up until Genma realized that his wife was likely to take
this in a very unpleasant manner.
============='_^==========================
Commercial Break:
 A sumo wrestler throws a towel over one
shoulder. "Streetfighting can be amusing, but
having to deal with bugs, changes in the weather,
and occasional traffic can be a pain.
      "Don't engage in life-and-death battles
where you have to worry about slipping in chicken
crap! Come on down to the Nerima Battlebowl!"
 A map and layout of the place appear behind
E.Honda. "Not only do they have three arenas here,
they've got shower facilities and a Beefbowl cafe!
Schedule your next quest for vengeance at the 
Nerima Battlebowl!"
------------------------------------------
 Ranma waved as the boat left. The "Myou Na
Maru" was one of the weirder ships she'd been on,
but the crew had just assumed that Ranma-chan was
just another Chinese Amazon. There had apparently
been others, tired of rural life, tired of having
to accept their lot in life, or just tired of
taking orders from elders like Cologne, and off
went another of the Amazons, to find a place for
herself in the world at large.
 Some came back,unhappy with the societies
they passed through. Some didn't. Whether they 
had died or found a place of their own, the crew
of the the little smuggler/fishing vessel 
didn't know.
 Ranma-chan suspected that the crewmen DID
know what had happened to some of those missing
Amazons, and that the Amazons in question had
either adapted to life in the outside world or
were just afraid to go back and face the Elders.
 Pulling her backpack up on one shoulder,
Ranma-chan started down the path that the first
mate had stated would lead to a village that
they did business with. One of the villages
that supplied items that weren't traded in
normal society. Instant Juusenkyo water,
love potions, cursed items, "genuine" Amazon
fetishes and the like weren't actually 
illegal but weren't something reputable 
dealers wanted any part of. Hence the
smugglers in the "gray market."
 Just having a Juusenkyo curse 
had "proven" that he was of the Amazon
village- one of the runaway men who was
likely tired of being beaten on without
being allowed to fight back. That she
had denied it, and refused to speak
Chinese had been further "proof" that
the original conclusion had been
correct.
 Ranma desperately hoped they
had something to eat besides fish in 
this village.
==========-------------------==========
 "Tsubasa, you look so cute in
that dress," Ukyou said with a bright
smile. "Konatsu, that's very pretty on
you."
 Both women blushed at Ukyou's
praise, Tsubasa regarding the entire
event as a nightmare that she could
only hope would be over soon.
 Konatsu regarded this as a 
birth defect that had literally been
washed away, finally. No doubt Ukyou
would come to appreciate her more now.
 A small pow-wow had been held
in the Tendo dojo, with a lot of 
people deciding what the heck to do
about Happosai.
 One of the most unexpected
reactions had been Cologne. Now 
young and attractive again, it had
been expected that she would have
welcomed the change. Instead she
had started out being thoroughly
pissed. She was gradually adapting
to the concept, but still wanted
to catch "Happi" and soak him in
his own springwater. At least 
that's how she wanted to START.
 Daisuke sniffled. "...
and my mother thinks it's cute,
she says she'd always wanted a
daughter anyway, and..."
 "...and bought you all
sorts of cute little outfits,
right?" Hiroshi finished. 
 "You too?" Gozunkugi
felt part of a group, which
was nice, but really wished
it wasn't under these sort of
circumstances.
 "Spatula girl such good
friend," sniffled Shampoo. "With
ai ren away, Shampoo never see
what good person Spat-Ukyou is."
 "I am the Blue Thun..
aw screw it. I look more like
the Blue Rose..."
 "So why ARE you wearing
one of your sister's fuku?"
 "It's not like SHE ever
wears it. Besides, have you seen
how often that kendo outfit pops
open?" Tate-chan looked pained.
 "Oh, Dr Tofu, you look
so cute like that."
 "Oh, Kasumi, heh heh."
 "Order, please," said
Akane from the podium. "We know
the little lech is out there
blasting people with his water
cannon until Ranma shows up and
he can get his revenge."
 Sayuri looked up from
where she was monitoring a
pocket radio. "They just had
an update, Happosai just hit
a group of police officers in
downtown Tokyo. They're giving
chase."
 "They'll never catch
him." Cologne stood up. "They
failed to catch him after he
crashed that diplomatic party
and spiked the punch bowl with
this Juusenkyo water."
 Everyone nodded at that.
That had turned into a debacle
when Happi had run into a crowded
shopping mall.
 Sayuri continued. "The 
announcer says that over six
hundred people have been affected 
so far."
 "Tokyo is just getting to
be too much," Yuka said to Nabiki.
 "Yeah, you used to know
where you stand." Nabiki felt a
sudden urge and excused herself.
"Uhm, Kasumi, I think I'll go
make some snacks, do you mind?"
 Kasumi nodded but looked
puzzled. Nabiki wanted to cook?
Kasumi was just hoping that she
wouldn't charge TOO much.
 "I'm just glad I cut school
today," said one young man just 
before he was beaten into the floor.
--------------------*_*----------
 Happosai looked at his last
remaining gallon of cursewater. Where
was Ranma? He'd have to abandon this
plot soon, and he just couldn't admit
failure at this point.
 A single liter of the undiluted
full-strength water was enough to curse
one individual permanently. 3.78 liters
to the gallon. He'd managed to curse an
awful lot of people.
 Maybe he'd gotten a little 
carried away, but self-restraint was
not one of his strengths.
 Happosai returned his gaze to
the schoolyard below his perch atop
the clocktower. "Where are you, Ranma?"
 He'd watched from a ventilation
shaft the fun at the ambassadorial party
as the guests drank of the punch bowl
that he had tainted. Upon hearing them
talk of the "tingly" flavor, he had 
known that it was working though not
as quickly or as obviously as immersion
would.
 It had taken an hour for the
first guest to start manifesting the
symptoms. Then had come the panic, as
more and more of the guests began to
change.
 Happosai grinned at the memory.
Ah, but that one especially had been so
sweet. There was a manhunt for Ranma,
and now one for Happosai after the name
had come to light from an anonymous tip.
 Since it had come immediately
after the reward was posted, but before
the reward had become common knowledge,
Happosai knew that it had Nabiki that
had given the police information about
him. He'd have his revenge on HER soon
enough.
 A patrol car drove up to the
front of the school and Happosai ducked
back into the shadows. 
----------------^_^;;---------------
 Ranma finished stacking the crates,
collected his money, and started out for
a dinner at the little diner across the
street. Unlike the Amazon Village this one
was fairly near the coast and was 
relatively modern.
 The food was simple fare, but
cheap and plenty of it. He loved the
"All You Can Eat" special, though the
crowd that developed as he went through
enough food to feed most of the village
was unnerving.
 Ranma sat back after nearly an
hour and smiled. He wondered how Akane
was doing, then scowled. Why was he 
thinking about an uncute tomboy anyway?
The truth was, he did miss her. He
missed talking to Ukyou. He even missed
Shampoo, though he wouldn't admit the
last one.
 They were all better off without
him anyway, wasn't that what Akane was
always saying? How much she wanted him
gone, out of her life, and that she 
wished she had never met him? He couldn't
do anything about the last one, but he
HAD done the first two.
 Maybe he ought to at least send
a postcard, letting everyone know that
he was OK. He smiled. Yeah, that would
be good. That he was going to Juusenkyo
and finally going to get CURED.
 Ranma looked over at the selection
of postcards and finally selected one
that showed the harbor of Hong Kong. Who
to send it to? His father. No, he didn't
owe HIM anything. Akane? Nah, she'd 
probably just get pissed over something
in her own head. Nabiki? She'd charge 
everyone for news about him. Kasumi?
 The idea clicked. Kasumi would
make sure everyone knew, and wouldn't
charge exorbitant fees. Yeah, this 
could work.
 There WAS a cure to Juusenkyo.
Master Po had mentioned that there
were pools and springs for each basic
type of magic. Some were hidden, some
only appeared under certain circumstances
and some had magical protections.
 Ryugenzawa had the Spring Of
Life- curative magic. Juusenkyo embodied
change or Transformation magic. Master
Po, restauranteur and Chinese Mage, had
mentioned another two springs that he
knew of: one in Malaysia that embodied
the magic of Transportation, and another
hidden one in a place called Sedona 
which was a pool of Divination.
 Setting down to write, Ranma
outlined where he was and what he was
doing. Drawing on his vague memories
of what had gone on when he left the
dojo, he made some basic assumptions.
 Akane had been pounding on
him, saying how much she hated him.
Nabiki had sold him out again, which
proved how much contempt SHE had for
him. There had been the new fiancee,
that he mostly remembered being sold
out by his father again.
 Conclusion: he'd been sold out
by Nabiki and his father and then 
thrown out of the dojo. This made 
perfect sense to Ranma based on the
fragmented memories he still had of
that night. Unfortunately for Ranma,
it was not completely accurate.
---------------^_^;;-------------
more definitions:____
Dojo: training hall, esp for martial arts.
Juusenkyo, Jyusenkyo, Jusenkyo, etc.: frankly
 i've seen so many different spellings up on
 the web that i've just given up on trying to
 use most of the Japanese style names and am
 just using the closest translation (ie:using
 "Amazon Village"). The math on how much of
 the water is needed, concentration factor,
 etc is my own invention. Can't help it, I'm
 a nuts-and-bolts mechanic type, I have to
 know HOW something works. This was what I
 came up with as far as seemed logical. The
 creator of Ranma 1/2, Rumiko Takahashi, is
 NOT apparently driven to explore the 
 mechanics of anything she creates, which
 leaves it to lesser lights such as myself
 to come up with this stuff.
The "Myou na maru" is a truly strange ship
 that appears in "Featherbrite's Tale" and
 "Ragnarock" and is mentioned in "A Very 
 Scary Bet." The owner is a guy named Nathan
 Brazil, the captain is a semi-retired 
 Japanese secret agent who reads trashy 
 romance novels and has some resentment for
 James Bond's behavior when he was last in
 that neck of the woods. The crew is at least
 as strange.

Ranma 1/2 3
Happi Days: Second Week, Monday
  all char are (c) Takahashi Rumiko, with the exception
of Tetsuo, the crew of the smuggler ship 'Myou na Maru'
and extraneous other characters thrown in for one scene
or less. Much thanks to all my pre-readers!
 so far: Ranma has gotten fed up with the whole
situation, an especially bad day, and was drugged by
Mousse with a mood-intensifier. He doesn't remember the
event of his departure too well, and has misinterpreted
what fragments of memory he has pulled up. He is 
currently in a small village in China, looking for an
expert on the Juusenkyo curses that he was told about
by the crew of the "Myou na Maru"- a smuggler ship with
ties to the Amazon Village.
 Happosai has struck Furinkan High School, among
other places, with what he has been told is Juusenkyo
curse water from "Spring Of Drowned Bishojo Bride" -
along with a temporarily functioning version of the
Musk Dynasty's chiisatuon. This water, supposedly, will
permanently transform those splashed with it into 
beautiful young women with a cultural mindset fitting
the woman who drowned in that spring 1500 years ago.
Unfortunately for Happosai, he was doing all this to
gain revenge on Ranma, who is thousands of miles away
and completely oblivious of these events, having left
two days previously.
 Most of Nerima is beginning to feel the effects
of Happosai's vengeance, though indirectly, as well over
800 people have been hit by these attacks so far.
----------------------------------
 It was the dream again, replaying the events
of just last week. The teacher had just taken his
place at the front of the classroom and the scratching
sound of chalk and chalkboard was dominant over the
few whispered fragments of conversation going on in
the back of the class.
 There was the thunk, and he glanced up as he
heard a minute hissing noise from the sprinklers
overhead. His mind was screaming to move, but just as
on that day, his body was just sitting there at his
desk. Then came the water, spraying down over him and
his classmates.
 He felt the tingle all over as the water 
had splashed him, as the Change washed over him. Truly
the poets called this a sea-change, perhaps a reference
to this strange water that caused so much alteration.
 His hands, thickly calloused and strong, 
altering to become softer with slender fingers bereft
of the scars and callouses that he'd picked up over his
life. The tingling continuing as his clothes suddenly
tightened at the hips, his waist receding as mass was
redistributed. Pectorals vanishing, buried beneath the
soft sensitive mounds that pressed against the confines
of his shirt. The sensation of his manhood vanishing
and Something Else being formed there. Internal organs
shifting around as the flesh twitched horribly.
 The horror continued, much as it had that day,
with the itching as his hair immediately lengthened an
inch. The change continued, stretching and reshaping
bone and flesh into slightly different patterns.
 Tatewaki Kuno bolted upright in bed, knowing 
that her misery was being felt by others all over
Nerima. Kuno shuddered, she did not feel that misery 
particularly loved company, especially now.
 Strange the changes in her life recently, but
the changes to her father had been especially weird.
Instead of going with the usual gibberish about "bowl
haircuts" or something equally inane, the principal had 
suddenly developed a measure of sanity.
 The old Furinkan girl's uniform had been 
discarded as being quite unflattering. A fuku style
was being brought in. While the guys might yet have 
to get their buzz cuts, no similar restrictions for 
the other gender would be sought.
 Tatewaki glanced at her own fuku. Strange, she
had originally railed against it, but it definitely 
grew on one. Meanwhile, a little light makeup and some
accessories really brightened up the whole appearance.
 Another side effect had been that Kodachi had
not been heard laughing for the past few days. She still
seemed to go into shock everytime her new sister and
now female father crossed her path. She'd taken to 
locking herself in her room every available minute.
 Tatewaki smiled and got dressed. She'd cheer her
sister up by fixing her something SPECIAL for breakfast
today!
 Whistling a love song that she'd heard just the
previous day, Tatewaki Kuno didn't realize exactly how
much of a change had occurred over the past week.
---------------
 Kasumi went through the mail quickly, stacking
the bills where Nabiki would later collect them, the
junk mail into a paper recycling basket, and Soun's
news magazine over by the shoji board where she'd find
it later.
 That left the postcard, and after admiring the
scene of Hong Kong's harbor for a moment, Kasumi turned
it over. When she saw Ranma's name, and that it was 
addressed to her, she quickly sat down. "Oh my."

Konnichi wa, Kasumi-chan,
 I wanted to let you all know I am well, and
am still searching for a cure. I imagine that Akane
(who has always been honest in how much she hates me)
and Nabiki (whose contempt for me was obvious from 
that first day) are both overjoyed at my continued
absence. With me gone, all is back to being quiet,
and the property values should slowly return to 
normal. Will write again when I find a cure.
Sincerely,
Ranma Saotome

 "Oh, Ranma, Ranma, Ranma." Kasumi sighed and
got up. There was no return address, but the store he
had mailed it from had stamped the upper right corner
with some Chinese script. Kasumi thought for a moment.
Doctor Tofu knew enough Chinese that he might be able
to translate it. Her own Chinese was not nearly that
detailed.
 Nabiki stuck her head out from the kitchen,
asking if they were all out of soy sauce. Kasumi 
shook her head. Since Nabiki had developed a sudden
interest in cooking, she had insisted on "helping"
in the kitchen whenever possible.
 Unfortunately, the desire did NOT bestow a 
sudden influx of talent. Kasumi realized that her
sister was just acting on the influence of the curse
that Happosai had inflicted the entire school with,
but she wasn't ready to deal with ANOTHER Akane.
 Not that Akane was doing that badly now.
She'd made it to mediocre cook since Ranma had 
first arrived, and in the past week had begun 
taking the recipes far more seriously without that
distressing tendency to "liven things up" that had
led to so many disasters in the past.
 Crossing herself, Kasumi paused before 
entering the kitchen. "Ara, Nabiki, that was NOT
soy sauce you've been using."
Commercial Break:-------------------
[Scene: a busy restraunt in down Nerima. Ukyou
 is seen smiling behind her grill.]
UKYOU: "Welcome to Ucchan's, where we make 
 okinomiyaki the way YOU like it. Only the 
 freshest ingredients are used, and it is 
 made hot and fresh right before you!"
[A placard appears before the screen.]
UKYOU: "Fill out a card explaining to Ranchan
 why he should choose his CUTE fiancee and get
 20% off the price of your lunchtime special!"
[A map showing the location of Uuchan's replaces
 the placard on the special.]
UKYOU: "So come on down to Ucchan's: As you like it!"
End Commercial Break:--------------------
 Mousse smiled and stuck her hands out to either
side. "I slice, I dice, I make Julienne fries!" Knives
flashed as the chicken and potatos were uniformly cut
into thin strips.
 "Very good Mousse," Cologne noted.
 "Who is Julienne Fries?"
 Mousse and Cologne stared briefly at Shampoo
before turning back to the breakfast special.
 "You see, Mousse, by cutting the vegetables and
meat into thin strips like this, they cook quickly and
evenly."
 "Yes, obachan!" Mousse was happy, getting 
lessons in something as useful as cooking from a master
like Cologne was just SO wonderful.
 Cologne caught Shampoo's motion and stepped out 
into the dining room.
 "Yes great-grand-daughter? With the frying and
the fans, Mousse will not be able to overhear us. What
do you want?"
 "Why Mousse acting funny? He not grab me or 
anything, he happy to be cooking, he acting very 
strange. Almost like proper Amazon husband."
 "YOU avoided being splashed, child, but it is
the Juusenkyo water at work here."
 "It no affect Ranma like that."
 "Ranma was affected by 'Spring Of Drowned Girl'
which only causes him to change genders. His female form
is exactly what he would have looked like if his parents
had had a daughter instead of a son. This Spring is 
more complicated."
 "What spring?"
 "I got Nabiki to e-mail the village elders 
(who did you think ran www.amazon.com?) and
they confirmed that the Musk Dynasty had supplied 
Happosai from the 'Spring Of Drowned Bishojo Bride'-
where a nobleman's young bride died some 1,500 years
ago while running from a bandit."
 "Aiyaa. What that do?"
 "Those struck with the water of THAT pool
become beautiful young girls, which is why Happi was
so anxious to get THAT water. No doubt he learned of
it and requested it specifically. Not only do they
physically transform, but there is a mental change as
well. A strong will and experienced mind can hold the
change off indefinitely, as I shall be able to.
 "Those whose will is not focussed, whose minds
are weak, or who would go that route anyway, will
change faster than those who are not."
 "Aiya, so Mousse was wimp..."
 "Mousse's mind was not sufficiently strong
to hold out against the change. He now views you as
another girl, and has fallen out of love with you as
a result. On the plus side, his social standing as
a woman in the village will be higher than it was."
 "Aiyaaa." Shampoo managed to look a little
green. "So Mousse now think he a she. Well, maybe he
at least leave Shampoo alone now."
 Cologne nodded. "I wonder how the others who
were affected are handling all this?"
------------------------------
 Ryouga had had better days, walking up to the
school, he slowly confirmed that the sign read "Fu-ri-n
kan Senior High School" then glanced back into the 
courtyard. "This can't be right," he muttered.
 It was Ranma's fault. It had to be. For whatever
reason he'd switched the signs with another high school
and was probably laughing at him somewhere. Ryouga
growled.
 "Ryouga-sama!"
 Another strange woman in one of those dark blue
sailor fuku was waving at him and grinning like a maniac.
How did all these women know him, anyway?
 "Ah, Ryouga Hibiki, surely a name to conjure
with, pure poetry in motion such as you are?"
 Ryouga blinked as he regarded the tall woman
in the white and blue fuku, carrying a bokken of all
things. What the heck?
 "Uhm, do I know you? Miss?"
 "Ah, you did indeed, Ryouga-kun. One takes it
that you do not peruse the pedestrian tabloids or
partake of that idiocy known as television?"
 "Ah-hah." Ryouga briefly entertained the notion
that this was actually Furinkan Asylum and he'd completely
misread the kanji. "I've kinda been out of town."
 "Know then, that you are facing the rising star
of the kendo club, the Blue Rose Of Furinkan High 
School, Tatewaki Kuno."
 "Yeah, right. Uh-huh." Ryouga nodded. Definitely
an asylum. "And this is where you tell me..."
 "If I beat you, then I shall date thee!"
 <SLAM!>
 Ryouga was opposed to hitting girls on general
principle. Girls attempting to slam a hardwood bokken
into his head, after making thoroughly insane statements
were not included in the "do not hit" category.
 Besides, if it WAS Kuno or even vaguely related
to Kuno, he could make an exception.
 "Ryougaaaaaaaa!"
 "Akane?!" Ryouga looked around, trying to find
her. He heard her voice, or was that merely his love for
her echoing within his heart? Immediate guilt as the
thought of Akari crossed his mind. (This is Ryouga, even
when something's going right he'll find a way to be
depressed or guilty about it.)
 "Ryouga! It's good to see you again, I'm glad
you didn't get caught up in this mess!"
 Ryouga blinked. This woman who had come up to
him did look a lot like Akane, but she had longer hair,
was wearing one of the dark blue fukus, and was...
 "Akane?!?"
 The woman flipped back her hair back from over
her shoulder. "Of course, it's me, silly."
 "You're wearing makeup? Nail polish? Earrings?!"
Ryouga's mind was going into overload. Too many things 
did NOT compute. 
 "Oh, Ryouggaaaaa!"
 Ryouga glanced over to his right and noticed
a small CROWD of girls eyeing him over. The only time
he saw any woman looking at a guy like that was when
Shampoo or Ukyou were trying to make the moves on Ranma.
 "Akane," Ryouga managed when he could force
suddenly dry lips to speak again. "Would you mind 
telling me exactly what is going on here?"
 "I would, Ryouga-chan, but they're going to
start the Family Planning class soon!" Akane's eyes
glittered as she considered all the wonderful things
they might cover today.
 "Urk. Pardon me." Ryouga thought that being 
near Akane was a slice of paradise, but he was suddenly
feeling very much in need of something that made sense.
Akane taking courses in Parenting? Of course, considering
her father, who could blame her?
 "And then later there's Cooking, Cosmetology,
and...oh Ryouga, school is just so much more FUN now."
 Ryouga started scanning the skies. He'd seen
enough American SF movies to know one of three things
was going to happen any moment now:
  a)  Rod Serling was going to step out from behind one
of these trees, or
  b)  the alien body-snatchers that had replaced Akane
and the rest of the school with these overendowed and
badly programmed replacements were going to show up and
suck out his brains. OR
  c)  the Candid Camera crew would finally realize
that he was on to them, and they'd get on to doing 
this to someone who'd really believe this junk. Maybe
Ranma, who'd really freak.
 Ryouga smiled at the "Akane" and nodded. "Sure,
'Akane', go ahead and get to class. I'll wait around
for you, heh heh."
 Akane looked momentarily puzzled, then turned
on that dazzling smile. She ran in just before the bell
started to ring and the large group of girls ran inside
as well.
 Ryouga, of course, immediately started trying
to figure out where the camera crew was. For once, he
just sat down under a tree and got ready for a long
wait. It had been a long week.
-----------------------------
 Hiroshi's mother had always wanted a daughter.
Therefore, when the news report had come out about 
"Nightmare at Furinkan" she had been of two minds about
the whole thing.
 Then had come the perpetrator of the event,
saying that it was:
   a) permanent
   b) carried mental effects
This pretty much settled her mind as to how to handle
the whole thing.
 She'd quickly settled into teaching her daughter
how to properly act and dress. Hiroshi had started out
protesting loudly and with great passion. Hiroshi had
gradually become more sullen, and still muttered a few
complaints under her breath.
 Mrs. Hyojun watched her daughter sulking as she
brushed out her hair. The hair had been one of those
things that fascinated Shoko Hyojun, the way that it
seemed to grow another few inches every day. Within
three days it was well over a foot longer, it was much
finer and shinier than it had been. By the end of the
week it had seemed to slow to near normal growth rates
but was over three feet in length.
 Mrs Hyojun was pleased with how well Hiroshi was
handling the changes in her life, maybe it was time to
change her name to Hiroko. She didn't want to overwhelm
her daughter with too much change all at once though,
she'd heard a couple of children had to be restrained
from throwing themselves off the school's clock tower.
Fortunately they'd managed to stop everyone but that
Tsubasa character, and SHE was currently being chased
all over Nerima by some sort of legendary lecher 
that attended Tomobiki High School.
 Hiroshi nodded to her mother, then made her way
to the furo. Mrs Hyojun watched her daughter and smiled,
she knew Hiroshi could hardly wait to get out of that 
fuku. She wondered if Hiroshi knew how cute she looked
in it. Not that she thought that her former son was
ready for that information.
 The scream of anguish from the furo brought
her running, it had been the sound of someone who had
just gone into Full Panic.
 When she entered the bathing room, there was
Hiroshi looking down at herself and whimpering. "Mom,
I'm...bleeding. From there."
 Seeing what was going on, Shoko gave her 
daughter a reassuring smile. At least it was meant to
be reassuring. "Now dear, this is perfectly normal,
though I didn't really expect this to happen so soon."
 "SO SOON!" Hiroshi all but screamed. "I'm 
hemorraghing here damnit! I'm bleeding from THIS THING!"
 Shoko Hyojun continued to speak calmly and
quietly. She hadn't panicked herself when it had 
happened to her, but she'd also had many more years to
get used to the idea of being of the female persuasion.
"It's perfectly normal for a girl your age."
 "I'm a guy," Hiroshi didn't sound too convinced
of that at the moment. Being able to see herself in the
mirror didn't help any.
 "Dear, you're a girl now, and everything I've
heard says that's the way you'll be for life." Shoko
nodded as Hiroshi stared at her, the general impression
was of Hiroshi-the-deer caught in the oncoming 
headlights. "You're just having your period. Your body
is saying it is ready to make babies."
 "My..." Hiroshi somehow managed to turn even
paler and begin to sweat as THAT penetrated. Shoko could
see the idea settle into the girl's mind. Guys didn't
have periods. Guys did not have babies. Guys also did
not have their mothers talking them through their first
period. Hiroshi's mind abruptly clicked to the OFF
position. He didn't faint, but a telepath attempting to
read his mind would have gotten a test pattern and a
tiny little voice going over her mother's statement in
a closed loop.
 Seeing her daughter was holding up better than
she had originally feared, Mrs Hyojun began to explain
the mysteries of the tampon and what a Wonderful Thing
This Actually Was. She seemed encouraged by the
occasional nod, not realizing that her child was
currently on Autopilot (so to speak) and continued going
on the lecture titled Female Plumbing 101.
 Hiroshi WAS listening, on one level. The rest
of her currently disorganized thought processes were
still racing around in that aforementioned closed loop.
The only breaks in that stream were "This can't be
happening, I'm a guy!" and another one that came out
with "I can't believe I was ever envious of Ranma."
-------------------------
 In a small village thousands of miles away,
Ranma sneezed again. He wondered who the heck was
thinking of him so frequently that he'd been acting like
he had a major allergy season for the past few days.
 He shrugged and decided Nabiki was probably 
still trying to find ways to profiteer off his absence,
and Akane was angry that her favorite punching bag was
nowhere to be seen.
 Ranma smiled and ate slowly. He didn't miss
Nerima very much at all. He would have to go back,
honor demanded he do something about all the problems
he had. Master Po had given him something to think
about as well.
 Shampoo could not return to her home without
him. She either had to kill him, or marry him. The 
least punishment was exile. To be trapped in her cat
form forever was one of the more likely punishments.
The worst would be something Master Po had refused to
speak of directly. Ranma gathered it was a way to alter
the Jusenkyo curse, where Shampoo would be far worse
than if she were merely a cat.
 This complicated things. Ukyou and Shampoo
both SAID they loved him. Ukyou, the friend he could
always rely on, who would be crushed if he broke off
his engagement to her. Honor demanded that he marry
a Tendo because that was the oldest engagement. Honor
demanded that he marry Ukyou because his father had
accepted the DOWRY and therefore that claim had as
much weight as the older one. Then there was this new
development with Shampoo.
 At least it was easier to think about all this
here, without new fiancees showing up or his father
creating new hassles for him. Ranma sighed and went
back to work. There was a certain pleasure to be found
in creating something, and he was learning carpentry
at this new job. At least he had skills to fall back
on, now.
---------------------------
 Happi Days 4a: A Side Order Of Tofu
by GreggSharp/ aka Metroanime@mindspring.com

all characters (excepting Master Po & Tetsuo Tsukiku)
 are (c) Takahashi Rumiko. don't sue me as there isn't
 even enough money here to pay a junior grade lawyer,
 and you could make more money hiring me anyway.
Much thanks to all the feedback from my pre-readers,
 esp SKJAM, Nightelf, and Lord Talon.

****
Dr Tofu Ono sat back and collected her thoughts, tapping
the pocket recorder that usually was used to make the
patient's chart notes (after Kasumi typed them up) as
she did so.
 That was ONE benefit of this latest development.
Tofu no longer went completely hysterical around Kasumi,
but the price was a bit high.
 "Today is the fourth day since Happosai went on
a rampage with something that resembles Jusenkyo cursed
spring water. The patient load is not as overwhelming as
it was for the first three days, so I'm finally making
a few records and observations about the whole thing.
 "Uhm, yeah. Happosai's curse water mimics the
effects of a Jusenkyo transformation curse except that
hot water does NOT reverse the change. At least for now.
Today, for the first time, I noticed a slight tingling
sensation when I reached into some near-boiling water
when my glasses fell off into the pot.
 "I digress. The curse most approaches the 
effects of 'Spring Of Drowned Bishojo Bride' - listed
on page 343 under the heading of Central Section, in
Lawson's Guide To Juusenkyo and Other Cursed Springs
Of The Orient. (English text, $49.95 from Amazon 
Books). This 'Spring Of Beautiful Young Girl Bride'
was supposedly created 1,500 years ago when a young
newlywed was chased by bandits into the Jusenkyo area
after her husband was killed. Note that this is a case
where there actually WAS a tragic story associated with
one of the springs.
 "Those who fall into the Spring normally gain
the Cursed Form of a young girl of around 17 years,
extremely attractive, who may only bear a faint 
resemblance to the uncursed form. Also normally, the
personality changes when in the cursed form to fit the
template of a somewhat demure and feminine though 
old-fashioned young lady of the victim's culture. With
nonpermanent individuals this becomes a form of 
schizophrenia with physical transformation thrown in.
 "Happosai's permanent version has accelerated
the personality changes. The following is a set of
observations from some of the patients who've been 
coming by.
 "Those who were mentally unbalanced to begin
with have been affected the fastest. Principal Kuno is
a sterling example of this, who has taken to wearing
floral print skirts now and is pushing for a tanning
booth for the Phys Ed department. She has also altered
the school's curriculum towards more traditionally 
feminine pursuits.
 "The next group to be affected are the various
women who were born that way. It seems the closer you
started to the template, the faster one reaches it. In
the case of a vast majority of the girls, they are well
into the mental transformation aspect. A few, such as
Nabiki Tendo, seem to have more resistance to this
change. In the case of Nabiki, she's taken an extreme
interest in baking cookies and wants to start a business
selling lines of gourmet cookies and snack packs. 
 "Side note: indications are that a LOT of the
original personality survives. Tatewaki still spouts
poetry, Nabiki is still a shrewd businesswoman and
has a yen for yen (though she seems to have changed
her normal modus operandi significantly), and Kenji
Tsumitsu is still a race car otaku who will happily 
ramble on about engine displacements and performance 
ratios at any given opportunity. In Kenji's case, she
now looks like the sort usually draped across the car
on the covers of those magazines.
 "There are former boys who are nearly at the
same stage of mental transformation. Those cases that
I've personally observed indicate strength of will or
ability to adapt to change are a factor. Those unable
to adapt went home the first day, locked themselves in
the bathroom, and came out over the next day with a
nearly full attitudinal change. Daisuke Honda is the
example of this that I've appended. Now calling herself
'Suki' or 'Daisuki' she's acting almost like a 
cariacture of a female persona. Girlish to the point
of ludicrous.
 "There ARE those who are fighting the changes,
at least the mental ones. Hiroshi Hyojun is one such.
Despite his best friend changing to such an extent, and
considerable pressure by his mother, he continues to
remain largely himself. One of the few not attending
the now crammed courses on Cooking, Family Planning, 
Flower Arranging, and Sewing over at Furinkan.
 "The next group would be the ones fighting the
transformation tooth and nail. They refuse to wear
female clothing, are acting more 'macho' than they did
when they were male, and frankly look haunted. You
can see them flinch whenever they pass a reflective
surface. I expect some of these to completely switch
over as with the group like Daisuke.
 "There are some who have taken the 'be like
Ranma' attitude. They seem to be resisting any mental
change, are wearing altered versions of their boys'
school uniform and fairly androgynous clothing at all
other times. They tend to congregate in small groups
of their own, reinforcing their male identities by
such male-bonding.
 "Finally there are those boys NOT present at
the time of the transformation who find themselves in
what is almost an all girl school. Akira Futaba and
Tetsuo Tsukiku being primary examples. Tetsuo is nearly
climbing the walls, due to some bad experiences in 
Juuban with seifuku-clad vigilantes, manifesting itself
in a distrust for the entire female gender especially
those wearing anything resembling a fuku.
 "I noticed during one of the Counseling sessions
at Furinkan (I'm a natural since I'm going through much
the same thing myself) that Tetsuo Tsukiku is almost
as shellshocked as the worst curse victims despite having 
escaped being cursed himself. Reasons for his reactions
can be found in the accompanying file.
 "Ryouga was apparently away from Tokyo recently,
and only got back to Nerima yesterday. He still seems
to be waiting for someone to show up and tell him that
this is all some elaborate practical joke devised by
Ranma to humiliate him.
 "The teachers, well, they seem to fit the same
general categories as the students. There are SOME
problems caused by a number of the formerly male
teachers having been married, and these marriages seem
to be in the process of disintegration. Two exceptions.
One, the Shop Teacher Isao Hageshii is fighting the 
psychological changes very well and is not trying to
outdo Kumiko Hageshii in homekeeping. Two, the Art Teacher
who used to be Moju-kun, but frankly Tazuko Moju has
always been a bit strange even for Nerima.
 "The most interesting case is Hinako Ninomiya,
whose child form was splashed. Apparently her strange
metabolism and the curse reacted to each other. The
result is that her adult form has the general mindset
of the 'Bishojo Bride' while her child form is now
about fourteen years old with the emotional maturity of
someone half her age.
 "The tourists affected by the Curse have mostly
stuck around. It seems that the shared calamity has 
seen some of the locals open their doors to these people
to some extent. The original crowd hit by Happosai 
outside the Nerima Animate store was of twenty young
men and one young woman. Now twenty one young women,
though eight have gone home to face whatever personal
paradigm shift they must on their own.
 "Of the remaining thirteen, six proudly call
themselves otaku and have taken to some truly strange
behavior." Tofu rubbed her eyes as she remembered the
one wearing a Morrigan costume, or the other one wearing
the Eternal Sailor Moon costume and actually doing all
those strange gestures and "in the name of the Moon"
speeches. Even when ordering a hamburger. Tofu shuddered
in rememberance. She made a mental note to not vacation
in America. Ever. Nerima was quite strange enough.
 "Ah. The remainder fit the general profile of
the transformed boys well enough. More appear to be
resistant to the change, possibly the well-known 
American individualism coming to their advantage." Tofu
didn't want to use the phrase he'd heard others use
in referring to that streak. It wasn't ladylike.
 "The ones sticking around have found local
jobs while they try to see this thing through and come
to terms with the change. One is working as a waitress
at the Nekohanten, another at Ucchan's, and three
more are working at the very same Animate store that
they were ambushed at."
 Tofu thought a moment before she clicked the
recorder back on. "Meanwhile, there have been sightings
but no capture of the perpetrator of this mess: the
man called Happosai."
--------------------
 In the roof of the Tendo dojo, someone sneezed.

end side story one: Tofu's observations.
Happi Days 4b: Nabiki Financial
by GreggSharp/ aka Metroanime@mindspring.com

all characters (excepting Master Po & Tetsuo Tsukiku)
 are (c) Takahashi Rumiko. don't sue me as there isn't
 even enough money here to pay a junior grade lawyer,
 and you could make more money hiring me anyway.

LOGON:NabikiT
PASSWORD:xxxxxxx

--------------------------------
You have 1 new message(s).
--------------------------------
opening message 1
To: NabikiT@TDojo.com
From: TetsuoT@Nerima.Furinkan.edu
Subj: Cursed Springs

Nabiki, I am NOT going to borrow money
from you, and I would certainly regard
any attempts at blackmail as an inherently
hostile act. If you want help, just ask.

Yes, as a matter of fact, I view violent
women in sailor-suits as to be something
best avoided. I was once caught in between
something called a "daimon" and a group of
those "Senshi" once, and after I was dug
out of the rubble of the building, and
was recuperating in the hospital, I did
gain a considerable respect for magic.
Yes, I am considerably more talented 
than poor Gosunkugi. Might I take a moment
to point out to you that this isn't saying
a great deal?

I'm sure you have much greater resources
to tell you the details than my piddling
talents. I'm just including a few details
that a minor analysis spell gave me.

The curse IS permanent on MOST of the
people afflicted. There are some who, for
whatever reason, avoided the full effects
of the curse. Two theories: either Happi
is diluting the water after the first day,
or the enchantment on the water itself
weakens after being seperated from the 
springs.

Now onto the bad news. Gosunkugi had been
cooking brownies and various cookies.
Just a friendly warning, that she isn't
any better at Chinese Alchemy than at
Voodoo or Shinto mysticism. I heard 
that one of her attempts at a love
potion put three people in Nerima ER.

Tetsuo.
-----------------------------------

DELETE MAIL

1 Message(s) Deleted

WRITE MAIL

To: KosukeK@Bank.Nerima.com
From: NabikiT@TDojo.com

RE: new businesses

Thanks, Kosuke. Your assistance with
the licensing and initial setup on the
two businesses we outlined was much
appreciated. They both are doing quite
well, and I see a long and profitable
future for both ventures.

The "Silky Darlings II" is doing well,
and is within projected sales figures
as the curse continues. We can expect 
a major increase at the one month mark
as the biological cycle causes many of
the formerly male classmates' minds to
go *tilt* and accept their new gender.
Even if a cure is found, the presence 
of Happosai insures a continued need
for quality women's underclothes.

As for the "o-bento" trade, that has
been postponed. My sister Akane has
now gotten to the point where her
cookies and dessert type items are
selling EXTREMELY well and not to
bio-weapons facilities. The "Tendo
Mercies" cookie is selling quite well
at Tomobiki High School and over at
Nekomi Technical School.

Nabs, the name of the product line
for the gourmet cookies, produced by
Ukyou, Konatsu, Akane, and a few 
other "hired talents" may be bought
out by one of the major confectionary
companies. Will give more details if
the deal goes through.

Thanks again. Nabiki Tendo
-----------------------------
Mail Sent

WRITE MAIL

To: Elders@amazon.org
From: NabikiT@TDojo.com

RE: Developments

Thank you for your prompt response to
the last message. Xian Pu says hello
to Ko Em and Rin Su. Mu Tsu wants me
to relay a "how you doing" to Bu Rusu.

According to your last post, because
I was only dampened by the waters instead
of soaked, the effects are likely to be
relatively minor. So far this has shown
to be true. Other than some odd habits,
cravings, and a really nice enhancement
of the old figure, there haven't been
too many changes.

My sister, Akane, on the other hand...

So this minor noblewoman of 1500 years 
ago, was planning to honeymoon in what
was her ancestor's village. Said village
being the Amazons, of course. So the
woman in question had been raised in the
world outside, but had some qualities of
your amazon village and part of the 
honeymoon was to learn something of her
grandmother's people.

These qualities are amply evident in my
dear sister right now. She's happier than
I've seen her in quite some time, acting
entirely too feminine, has much more
control over her temper, but has not lost
her martial arts skills. If anything, the
greater control and curse endowed grace 
has made her a better fighter. In her case,
it looks like the Curse is a blessing in
disguise.

Well, enough of the chitchat. I'm appending
a file that gives the basics of Gosunkugi's
latest attempt at Chinese Alchemy. As you
recall, last Thursday her attempt to make
the "Anti-Curse" potion resulted in 
accelerated psychological changes on half 
of the students. You don't want to know 
what happened to two of the foreigners that
were caught in that.

Going by Ace's Freight will be a special
airdrop that should reach you by tomorrow
morning. It is a contract and basic outline
of the calender shoot we discussed. The
photographer and crew can be out there in
another two months if all meets your
approval. The percentages we discussed
earlier need to be nailed down before
proceeding any further, but it looks
immensely profitable and will allow your
village to upgrade the plumbing and
get some much needed renovations. I
suggest using Ace's Freight, as he is
quite reliable and confidential in his
dealings. He just comes off as a 
loudmouthed braggart. If so, please, do
NOT let anyone start challenging him.
His current girlfriend provides quite enough
problems in his life.;)

A pictorial book "Girls Of Nerima" is
planned for some time after the "Amazons"
calender is out, probably three months
from now we can begin shooting. We want
to wait until after the psychological
changes have fully manifested, plus my
manufacture of various tourist items for
when the inevitable crowd arrives after
the book is published.

The matchmaking service that I've started
is slowly picking up steam, using web
connections. I understand that the menfolk
of the village, usually treated like 
shoe leather lest they get too uppity, 
tend to leave the village for greener
pastures. If any of the village women
want to utilize the service, I can give
a special rate in the interest of the
continued assistance and goodwill between
us.

Sincerely, Nabiki Tendo
-------------------------------------
Mail Sent

LOGOFF

Logging Off. Goodbye. You have spent 12 minutes online.
Thank you for using NiftyServe
Happi Days 4c: Ucchan's Diary
by GreggSharp/ aka Metroanime@mindspring.com

all characters (excepting Master Po & Tetsuo Tsukiku)
 are (c) Takahashi Rumiko, Fred Perry, etc. don't sue
 me as there isn't even enough money here to pay a 
 junior grade lawyer, and you could make more money 
 hiring me anyway.
-----------------
  Ukyou smiled at Konatsu, who got up and
walked slightly away. Neither Konatsu nor the
missing Tsubasa were happy. Ukyou was much 
happier.

  Konatsu was now a kunoichi in more than merely name.
Tsubasa still had casts on his right leg and left arm
from his fall from Furinkan's clock tower. This was
not the cause of either former-man's happiness, nor
Ukyou's new smile.

  When Happosai had hit Furinkan with the water from
the "Spring Of Drowned Bishojo Bride" it had affected
Ukyou. When the same water had struck at Ucchan's,
two crossdressers and three patrons had been struck.

  Tsubasa's strong male self-image had her fighting the
psychological changes with everything she had, but by
the end of the first week she had one major sweeping
change in her life. She still tried to act as she had
before, but was often sulking off by herself. It was
that she simply no longer was attracted to women the
way she had been when she had been a he.

  Konatsu was the same way, except that she had been
raised to think of herself as female, had been changed
by the cursed water to become a woman down to the 
genetic level, and now found herself switched from 
lesbianism. She was eyeing the male patrons, then 
feeling guilty and sick about doing so.

  Ukyou, on the other hand, was happy not to be
pursued by the two women. She was feeling happy
because her figure had developed further, the 
classes dealing with cosmetics, fashion, and 
family planning would ALL benefit her relationship
with Ran-chan.

  "Just wait till you get back, Ranma-honey," Ukyou
promised the grill, as Ranma was still off in China
somewhere. When Ranma got back, she would sweep him
off his feet and they'd marry quickly to keep the
women of Furinkan from annoying him too much.
---------commercial break----------
A pretty young woman (think of someone like Moe
 Nagasaki or Tomo Sakurai, dressed in a cheongsam with
 armored shoulder pads) charges through a crowd of ninja
 in an urban setting. The scene changes and the same
 girl is swinging on a vine across a raging river 
 wherein Something With A Lotta Teeth can be seen. The
 scene changes again to show the same woman, this time
 pulling a battlestaff out of nowhere and vaulting past
 some Urotsukidoji type monster, flipping into a tight
 ball as she gets through a gap in the flailing 
 tentacles. Again the scene changes, and same woman is
 racing up the walkway to an American house. She rings
 the bell and the door opens, revealing a man, though
 he's in shadow and not shown distinctly.

Woman: (smiling) "Sign here for package, please!"

Voiceover: "Amazon Express, when it absolutely 
 positively HAS to be there!"

Man: "This is an overnight. Why did it take two days to
 get here?"

Woman: (shocked) "Aiyaaaa! Knew shouldn't have stopped
 to fight Bison..."

Voiceover: "Aw comeon, you know what happens if the
 package is late."

Woman: (nodding, then does running glomp on customer)
 "Wo da airen! Wo ai ni!"

Voiceover: "Limited time offer on overnight guarantee. 
Special rules, limitations, and exclusions apply. Call 
now."
--------end commercial break----------

  "Ukyou," Nabiki entered the shop, looking around.
"Can we talk?"

  "How much is THIS going to cost me?"

  "Oh, I'm just trying to find out if you'll help out
with the bake sale."

  "Kasumi already told me about it," Ukyou nodded. "I'm
in as long as the money's going to a good cause and
NOT fund another wedding of my Ran-chan to Akane."

  "Oh come on, we don't even know where Ranma IS. Well,
except that he's in China and used to be in a small
coastal village. I give you my word, we're just sprucing
up the house and paying some bills."

  "Well in that case, sure." Ukyou sighed. "So any word
if they've caught Happosai?"

  "Not yet, the little hentai's gotten pretty good at
running and hiding after all he's done over the years.
It's not as alarming as what I've just gotten from one
of the elders."

  "Hmmm."

  "I won't charge you for this, providing that you tell
me if you get any info on the subject from any of your
customers, deal?"

  Ukyou nodded. "Deal."

  "According to my records, Happi came into Japan on
a small cargo plane from Blackbird Reclamations-"

  "Smugglers."

  Nabiki raised an eyebrow, curious that an okinomiyaki
chef would know of them. "Anyway, he came in with twelve
five gallon jugs of water. Now, here's the tricky part.
According to the elders, Herb of that Musk Dynasty 
admitted that he gave forty gallons of 10:1 concentrate
of 'Spring Of Drowned Bishojo Bride.' You with me so
far."

  "I think I see what you mean. Happosai didn't do the
math or he'd know something was up. That's only eight
five gallon containers." Ukyou thought about it. "So
there's an extra twenty gallons."

  "Each gallon of concentrate makes ten gallons of
cursed springwater. One liter is enough for the curse
to take affect, anything less only gives a partial
effect like the tentacles on Pantyhose Tarou."

  "Come on girl, spill it. What're you hinting."

  Nabiki smirked, it was smirk #7 (the "I'm so clever
that even I can barely stand myself" smirk.) "This
means that even with what is confirmed as the 'Bishojo'
curse water, that's 1500 people who could be affected.
The news agencies only report 809, but we know at least
600 were at Furinkan."

  "So where are they?"

  "That's one of the questions, I'll hope to get
answered soon. Maybe you'll find the answer. Another
really good question, you've got that gaijin coming
in later, right?"

  "Yeah, she's resisting the mental change though."

  "If she was affected by Bishojo water at all..."
Nabiki waited for Ukyou to put it together.

  "Nyannichuan?"

  "Not quite, but close. Seems there's also a 'Spring
Of Drowned Amazon Warrior' there too. We know from Herb's
reactions to the Amazon's requests for information that
he's not happy with Happi. I think Happi mixed water
and we're seeing the results right there." Nabiki spread
a few photos out on the counter. "Dig these. Kasumi got
tagged yesterday and now she's suddenly back to doing
her katas and SWORD practice for crying out loud. Those
other photos are of some of the gaijin acting like they
were just out of the village. Now what will happen when
Happi meets up with women who act like Chinese Amazons?"

   Ukyou slapped her hands together three times and 
said a quick prayer. "This is fate."

  "And I want to be there and get photos." Nabiki got
up and shrugged. "Well, entertaining as this has been,
I've got to go. I've got brownies to make."

  Ukyou blinked as Nabiki left. "I thought her idea of
cooking was to open a bag of chips."

  Shrugging, Ukyou took an order for a seafood
okonomiyaki and lost herself in her work. Mixed 
Juusenkyo curses, there was something about the idea
that disturbed her.

  "Oh Ranchan, why can't you see that your curse doesn't
matter to me?" Ukyou finished the okonomiyaki and sent
it down the counter with a practiced flip of a spatula.
"After all, isn't that something a CUTE fiancee would
say? I just hope that Happi runs out of water before
Ranchan gets back."
------------------------------
   In the attic above the Tendo dojo, and somewhere in
China, two individuals sneeze.
------------------------------
   ends side story 3, next up Tetsuo Tsukiku and how
exactly the UNCURSED guys at Furinkan are handling all
this mess.
Happi Days 4d: Tetsuo's Tale
by GreggSharp/ aka Metroanime@mindspring.com
pre-reader version
all characters (excepting Master Po & Tetsuo Tsukiku)
 are (c) Takahashi Rumiko, Fred Perry, etc. don't sue
 me as there isn't even enough money here to pay a 
 junior grade lawyer, and you could make more money 
 hiring me anyway. Thanks again to my pre-readers,
 those unsung heroes who make all this so much more
 comprehensible.
The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming
 dragon.
-----------------------------------------

   Ryouga intended to wait for "Akane" to get out of
school but he recognized a figure who was trying to
get his attention a few minutes later. Ryouga couldn't
put a name to the face, but knew it was one of Ranma's
classmates.

   "Ryouga, you escaped too." Tetsuo Tsukiku exclaimed.
"Good, that's almost an even dozen now."

   "Dozen what?"

   "Guys," Tetsuo said with some relief. "That's a little
less pressure on the rest of us. Not much but every
bit helps."

   "What are you talking about?"

   Tetsuo quickly outlined the events of the past week.
Saotome storming out of the Tendo residence, Happosai
going on a vengeance crusade against everyone by hitting
them with blasts of "Spring Of Drowned Bishojo Bride"
water, the male population of Furinkan down to (if you
included Ryouga) eleven guys that happened to be missing
on that morning for one reason or another. Happosai
vanishing, presumably to wait for Saotome to show up.

   "You're kidding. You ARE kidding, right? Please be
kidding!" Ryouga looked slightly ill. "Then when Happi
shot that water at me and I blocked with my umbrella."
Ryouga pulled his umbrella out and thanked it profusely
for being there when he needed it.

   "Not kidding. I tell you it has been HELL here. Guys
you used to know, or girls you used to know as guys, are
acting more and more like girls! They changed the uniform
so that girls are wearing fukus now!" Tetsuo shuddered.

   "I take it you don't like sailor suits."

   Tetsuo favored him with a horrified look. Ryouga 
recognized it as the same sort of expression that he
wore himself whenever someone offered him pork. Considering
that he still had a Jusenkyo curse that turned him into
a tiny black pig, he didn't care for pork.

   "You've got to be kidding," Tetsuo said in a low 
voice. "I lived in Juuban. Do you know what Juuban is
like? Youma keep showing up, and then there's those
damn Senshi! I got caught in between a youma, the 
Senshi, and a wall. That's what got me started studying
magic, it's hard not to believe in magic when some girl
has just slammed you with some sort of lightning spell."

   "Or when you've seen Jusenkyo curses," Ryouga added.

   "Yeah. Speaking of which, I hope Saotome shows up
soon."

   "So he can draw Happosai out into the open?"

   Tetsuo shook his head. "No, when I got here, Ranma
found out I was studying magic and wanted to know if
I could figure out how to cure a Jusenkyo curse."

   "Oh, and can you?" Ryouga tried not to look 
interested or hopeful.
----Commercial Break------------
SCENE: It's a dark and stormy night, though the rain
 isn't falling. You see Godzilla looming over something,
 ready to snap it up in its jaws. He stops, sniffs,
 the sniffing sound continues and Godzilla runs towards
 a mall, the former object of its attention forgotten.
 Camera tightens on the area that Godzilla just left.
CHIHUAHUA: "Yo REALLY quiero Taco Bell." <faints>
 Close up of Godzilla in the process of eating one of
 the franchises.
GODZILLA: "Belch"
Scene cuts to a backdrop of Taco Bell symbol. Three
 Taco Bell Grandes and a pair of glasses are on a table.
VOICEOVER: "And now for a limited time get your choice
 of an 'SD Oh My Goddess' toy or 'Irresponsible Captain
 Tylor' glass for 99cents with every Taco Bell Grande."
Godzilla claw comes from off stage, removes table with
 everything on it.
VOICEOVER: "But hurry, supplies are limited."
----End Commercial Break-----------

   "I've gotten a lot of chances to study the curses,
and I've managed to get a sample of the water. I
promised Ranma that if I found a cure, I'd come to him
first. I may have found a way to transfer the curse,
cutting its bonds to a particular individual and then
transfer it over to someone else. If I can do that, I
can transfer his 'Young Girl' curse to an animal or
something and he'll no longer have it. It's really
tricky though, and can only be attempted on one night
a year."

    Tetsuo looked at Ryouga and smiled. "Sorry, didn't
mean to talk shop."

    "So what have you figured out about the curses,"
asked Ryouga. "I mean this whole changing thing is
just so bizarre."

    "According to some records, there was an ancient
civilization called the 'Silver Millenium' and one of
their cities was the site of a major battle of magic
between forces of good and evil. Just my theory, but
Juusenkyo's source could have been the site where that
battle took place and left a Transmutation rift into
the underlying probability matrix between universes."

    "Uh yeah." Ryouga hadn't moved, but he had the 
feeling he was lost again.

    "Sorry." Tetsuo leaned up against one of the
trees. "Let me tell you, Ryouga, it's been a scary
week. The mental effects have been the worst things."

    "Mental effects?"

    "Yeah." Tetsuo glanced briefly at Ryouga. "I mean
most of the guys that got changed acted pretty much
normal for the first day. About halfway through the
day after they'd gotten cursed you started noticing
things that they were doing different."

    "Things?" Ryouga looked lost again, or maybe he
just hadn't stopped being lost.

    "Yeah. Little mannerisms that were off. Guys that
used to walk like guys now taking smaller steps, or
raising the pitch of their voice when talking to 
authority figures, using more feminine speech 
patterns, you know, GIRL stuff."

    "Oh." Ryouga looked a little frightened as the
possibilities ran through his mind.

    "Yeah. It got worse into the third day, even some
of the teachers that used to be guys were adopting 
more gestures, acting more girlish, getting more
comfortable with the change."

    "Oh." Ryouga repeated. He was VERY glad he didn't
attend school. "Then all those girls in those fuku..."

    "Not all, but a LOT of them are formerly guys.
Nabiki's been selling accessories, makeup kits and 
instruction books, all sorts of things. What's really
been crazy was Monday."

    "This IS Monday." Ryouga looked uncertain.

    "Yeah, I cut out after two classes of this. I had
to get some fresh air, you know?"

    "What's so bad now?" Ryouga had a Bad Feeling about
this, he had a feeling this was one of those questions
that you really didn't want to know the answer to.

    "Sometime over the weekend, most of the guys' gender
identity and gender preference switched. That's why I
HAD to get out. I don't care if Hinako sensei gives me
grief for being a delinquent, this was just too much
for me to handle."

    "What do you mean?" Ryouga didn't get it, though a
little voice in the back of his head was making noises
like "Gakkk!" and "Ick!"

    "Meaning those that have gone this far, which seems
to be everyone who wasn't fighting it or didn't have a
lot of mental strength or stability, now regard 
themselves as girls and are comfortable with it. More
frightening, to me at any rate, is that they're quite
apparently VERY attracted to guys now."

     "Gakkkk!"

     "Well put, Ryouga." Tetsuo noticed someone 
approaching. "Uh oh. I just thought of why I SHOULD NOT
let Hinako sensei catch me. LATER...."

      Tetsuo turned to run, which was his second mistake
as he did have a nice "don't notice me" spell that he
could have cast in short order.

      "HAPPO FIVE YEN SATSU!"

      Ryouga noticed Tetsuo trying to run as he was
getting drained and hid behind a tree. He watched as
a partially drained Tetsuo Tsukiku collapsed on the
ground, only to be surrounded by fuku wearing girls
who were apparently going to "rescue" him and "nurse
him back to health" from their remarks.

     Ryouga turned slightly green, made sure that 
Miss Hinako didn't see him, and silently prayed that
he hadn't been noticed and please-kami-let-Akane-get-
out-of-class-early-so-I-can-get-the-heck-out-of-here-
fast.

     He heard a step behind him and turned, slowly,
knowing that this was Major Big Time Not Good.
-----------------
SKJAM's Sidestory
 
[Editor's Note:  As part of understanding the nature of the Bishoujo 
Brides of Fuurinkan incident, we believe it is helpful to examine the 
accounts of those who were there.  Fortunately, we have an excellent 
first-hand account written at the time by one of those affected.]

   JOURNAL OF SANJURO TANAKA
      by Scott K. Jamison
(Ranma 1/2 and its associated characters were created by Rumiko 
Takahashi.  Tetsuo was created by Gregg Sharp.  Everyone else is mine.)  

MONDAY

 Grampa says I should write this all down in a journal, so twenty 
years from now, when my kids doubt my stories, I can haul it out for 
proof.  Of course, even if Grampa had kept a journal himself, I don't 
think anyone would believe his War stories.  I mean, a whole island of-- 
 But enough about him.  I'm Sanjuro Tanaka, age 17, junior at 
Fuurinkan High.  I'm not a grind, but I do okay in class, and I'm pretty 
gifted at soccer.  I want to grow up to be a construction worker like my 
Dad, though I'm planning to go to college so I can get promoted to 
supervisor faster.
 If I can get through this little crisis.
 Today during second period, all the sprinklers in the school went 
off at once.  Harmless prank, right?  Wrong.  This weird old pervert 
named Happosai had loaded the pipes with something called "Jyuusenkyo 
Water" as a part of his revenge against Ranma Saotome, who's in the 
freshman class.  Long story.  I'll just stick in the Nabfile on him 
later. 
 What Jyuusenkyo Water does is change you into something else, in 
this case, a girl.  Normally, it then lets you switch back and forth, but 
Happosai's somehow made it "on" only, so we're kind of stuck, though we 
didn't find that out till later.  Right then, we just sat around in shock 
until Nabiki Tendou, who I'd date if I actually had a decent allowance, 
announced who'd done this to us.
 Tatewaki Kunou, the captain of the Kendo team, immediately 
pronounced a crusade against this "sorceror", and like sheep, we followed 
him.  If I'd remembered how much pain his "you must defeat Akane Tendou 
to date her" announcement had caused me, I would have thought twice.  I 
didn't, so I ended up helping chase Happosai around most of the day.  We 
never did catch him.
 Around mid-afternoon, I was hot and tired and hungry, and I 
needed to use the toilet something awful.  It was at this point my new 
condition really percolated through my blind fury.  I just stood there in 
the park for a while, trying to figure out which restroom to use.
 When I couldn't stand it anymore, I ran into the men's room, 
found a stall, and slammed the door behind me.  Several very embarrassing 
minutes later, I was staring at the...thing between my legs.  It wasn't 
as though I hadn't seen one before (never mind where), but it just looked 
so *wrong* there.  Not to mention those unsightly bulges pushing out my 
shirt.  I was about to unbutton and look at those when someone knocked on 
the stall door.
 "Um, excuse me, Miss, but this is a men's room, and I'll have to 
ask you to leave."  When I came out, the park attendant was very careful 
not to look at me.
 The Happosai hunt had moved on by then, so I bought some chips 
from the vending machine and ate them on the way home.  
 My parents had seen TV reports on what had happened, so they were 
relieved to see I was okay (well, other than the obvious), and not 
suffering from any "mental effects."  This was the first I'd heard of 
those.  I'm kind of hoping the old freak was bluffing about those.  He 
*had* to be bluffing about the "no cure" part.
 Anyway, since I already have two older sisters and a younger one, 
Mom didn't feel an urgent need to turn me into a daughter.  Dad and 
Grampa both agreed with me that I should hang on to my masculinity as 
much as possible.  Hey, if Ranma can tough it out, so can I.
 Grampa gave me a buzz cut, which normally I wouldn't be too happy 
about, but it does make me look a little less feminine.  He learned 
barbering skills on the island where his patrol got stranded, along with 
umpteen other weird skills he keeps revealing.  At least he says that's 
where he learned all this stuff.  I'm going to bind my breasts like that 
Kuonji chick that runs the okonomiyaki joint, and just keep on wearing 
the same clothes and being the same macho guy I always was.  Maybe just a 
little extra macho, in case.
 I called up a couple of my buddies, to see how they were doing.  
I got off lucky, I guess.  Koujiro Kanto's mom has been down on men since 
his father dumped her for his secretary, so she was right away all for the 
change.  She started calling him "Koko-chan" and dragged him off to some 
boutique where she and the saleslady played dress-up doll with him.  He 
was practically crying when he told me his mom was throwing out all his 
old clothes.
 Deru had it even worse.  His parents belong to one of those 
fringe religions that believes all mass media is hopelessly corrupted by 
godless Communists or something, so they hadn't heard anything about what 
happened.  It took him three hours of reciting his life story, several 
oaths and a call to their guru before they'd even let him in the house.  
When I talked to him, his folks were waiting for an exorcist to arrive.  
 Bathing was...an experience.  I didn't get much time to freak out 
about my new body, because Shiiko, she's the baby of the family, marched 
right on in and insisted on helping me scrub.  At least she remembered to 
call me "brother".
  Enough for tonight, I guess.  Please, Amaterasu-sama, let this be 
all a dream when I wake up.

TUESDAY

 No such luck.
 The most important thing I learned today is that girls can pee 
standing up.  It's tricky, but it can be done.
 The buzz cut didn't help much.  My hair grew an inch overnight.  
Mom helped me do the breast bindings, and Grampa taught me a few new 
obscenities to sprinkle in conversation.  Dad slapped me on the shoulder 
and told me to "take it like a man."
 Most of the students were milling around in front of the school, 
trying to figure out who was who.  Most of the girls were fairly easy to 
identify.  They looked mostly like themselves with makeovers.  The boys 
were more varied.  Some of them were in girls' uniforms, some in boys' 
uniforms like me, others in an assortment of clothing.  One of the 
seniors was wearing a sweatsuit three sizes too large for him in a vain 
attempt to hide his curves.
 I found Koujiro looking very uncomfortable in a schooldress, and 
trying to scrub makeup off his face.  He had some very uncomplimentary 
things to say about his mother.  They'd had a big fight this morning 
about redecorating his room, and he was afraid she'd go ahead even though 
she'd promised not to.  "She wants to make everything pink, and toss my 
F1 posters for some `heroines of the liberation movement' junk."
 I offered to store anything he could salvage at my place until we 
got cured.  After all, Ranma always gets the better of that Happosai 
creep in the end.
 Then a girl in a frilly pink frock with really deep cleavage and 
a huge pink bow in her hair pranced up to us and twirled around 
daintily.  "Hi hi Sanjuro-chan, Koujiro-chan!  Doesn't Nobu-chan look so 
pretty-pretty cute?"  It took me a moment to register that this was in 
fact Nobu Hojo, the notorious peeper, and the third biggest pervert in 
our school after Kunou and Ranma.
 "Nobu?"  I felt sick to my stomach.  "Dear kami, there *are* 
mental effects!"
 "Don't be silly," he replied in a very serious tone of voice.  
"I'm the same red-blooded guy, but as long as I've got this body, I might 
as well enjoy it.  Besides," he went all starry-eyed, "kawaii li'l 
Nobu-chan can get into any ladies' dressing room in town!" 
 "Peeper's paradise, huh?" asked Koujiro.  "But isn't there a 
little something missing?"
 Nobu smirked.  "Well, yeah, but I test-drove the new equipment 
last night, and it's good to go.  The engine takes a little more time to 
warm up, but man, does it run!"
 I rolled my eyes.  "That's more than I needed to know, Nobu."
 "That's Nobu-*chan*!" he pouted.
 The bell rang, and we went to class, though with the confusion 
going on, nobody got put on bucket duty for being late to homeroom.
 Kunou had reverted to his kendo outfit, with some pins keeping it 
from popping open.  There was no sign of Deru at all.  Like all the 
classes today, it was mostly the teacher trying to soldier on despite 
shellshock.
 Between classes, I approached Momoko, a girl I've gone out with a 
few times.  The Jyuusenkyo Water had been exceptionally kind to her.
 "Looking hot, Momoko."
 "Thank you, Sanjuro.  Excuse me, I have to talk to Tetsuo now," 
she said, brushing me off.
 Oh yeah, forgot to mention, Tetsuo's a transfer student from over 
in Juuban, and just happened to be out of school yesterday.  Lucky 
bastard.  His desk was surrounded with girls, and I wasn't the only guy 
shooting dark looks his way.  I guess he was a little uncomfortable with 
all the attention, but so what?  At least he still had his proper parts.  
 Nabiki handed out some flyers with services listed, the most 
notable of which was the location of a nearby shop for "discreet 
replacement of undergarments."  Seems she'd set this up for the girls 
once Happosai started doing regular panty raids in the neighborhood, and 
it was "now serving those with changing needs."
 There was an assembly right after lunch.  The Principal was 
wearing a really garish floral print muu-muu.  I'm a little surprised it 
wasn't a grass skirt.  After translation of his dialect, the gist was 
that boys were still expected to get monk-style haircuts, but girls could 
have any "attractive" hairdo.  Also, it had been decided that the current 
girl's uniform was kind of tacky, so it would be replaced by a more 
flattering sailor fuku style.
 Tetsuo went white for some reason, and most of the real girls 
cheered.  Kunou speechified about how he would *never* wear one, but I 
heard he'd already worn one of his sister's the day before, and was now 
calling himself the Blue Rose.  We had to form up in lines and get 
measured before we left.  No, I'm not going to tell you my sizes.  But 
if I really was a girl, they'd be respectable.
 Several of the team didn't bother showing up for soccer practice, 
not that I can blame them.  Boxer shorts were mostly okay, but I couldn't 
keep the jockstrap from riding wrong, and wearing a cup was kind of a 
joke.  We broke up early.
 After that, I went over to Koujiro's place and helped him 
scavenge his stuff from the trash bin.  His mother had even tossed out 
his Nomo-autographed baseball!  Bitch.  We hauled the boxes over to home, 
the nice thing about having my sister Ichiko away at college is that we 
can use her room to store stuff.
 When Grampa heard what'd happened, he insisted on tutoring me and 
Koujiro in the "manly arts" of smoking cigars, drinking sake, and playing 
poker.  Neither of us quite got the hang of the first one.  Frankly, 
cigars are one part of macho-ness I can skip.  I did better at the poker 
playing, and Koujiro really took to sake.
 He was on his fifth cup when his mother showed up, and boy was 
she mad!  Koujiro was supposed to have met her for an interview to get 
into a fancy cram/charm school for proper young ladies.  Then Grampa got 
into a shouting match with her about calling her son "Koko-chan."  If 
that wasn't embarrassing enough, then he got started on the War, and Mom 
had to give him his pills.
 After supper, I finally remembered to check up on Deru.  The 
exorcism had failed (if it had worked, I would've converted, you bet) and 
now his parents were making him fast and sweat to weaken the "evil 
spirits" while they wait for the guru himself to fly in.  They think this 
is their punishment for sending Deru to a secular school.
 Time to finish my homework.

WEDNESDAY

 There *are* mental effects.  I was too distracted to notice 
yesterday, but looking back the girls were acting more, well, "girly" 
than usual.  And a few of the guys have...changed.  Joe Watanabe had this 
kind of glazed look in his eyes, and when I asked how he was coping, he 
asked, "Coping with what?"
 "You know, with turning into a chick."
 "Oh, I've always been a woman."
 "That's not what *I* remember, Joe."
 "I mean inside, Sanjuro-chan.  I just never realized it before.  
I was too busy hiding behind my male shell.  But now I can be my true 
self."  He giggled.
 I shuddered and backed away quickly.
 There was still no sign of Ranma, and people got tired of paying 
Nabiki to say, "I'm still researching that.  Would you like a cookie?"  
It's going to be a while before she can actually sell cookies, except 
maybe as paperweights.  Hope Ranma gets back from wherever soon.
 Only two of the restrooms at school are labeled for "boys" now, 
one on third floor and one on first.  The real girls all got a big laugh 
out of the men actually having to wait in line.  While it's just the 
signs on the doors right now, they're going to replace the urinals in the 
other restrooms with stalls soon.  More overtime for Dad's company! 
 Between second and third periods, Koujiro tried to throw himself 
off the clock tower.  Lucky they had someone on guard up there.  The 
nurse had to give him a sedative, and Koujiro's mom was pulled out of 
work to get him.  She agreed not to make him go to that "charm school" 
when the Principal told her that Fuurinkan's class schedule will be 
changing anyways to reflect the new gender mix.
 The first of the new girls' uniforms came late in the afternoon.  
Just my luck, all my sizes were in stock.  I keep praying it won't 
actually come to me in a fuku.  And for the life of me, I can't figure 
out why Tetsuo is so upset.  It's not like *he's* expected to wear one.
 Coach announced that due to several resignations, and his being 
informed no other boys' soccer team would play us (believe it or not, 
there's actually a rule that sort of covers it!), we would be folded into 
the girls' soccer team.  I'm pretty sure to make the first string, since 
they've needed a good wing all season.
 No one answered at Deru's place.  Hope he's okay.
 Grampa took me, Nichie (my second-eldest sister) and Shiiko on in 
a game of poker.  I'm getting pretty good at it, though Shiiko won the 
biggest pot.  We all hit Grampa when he suggested strip poker.

THURSDAY

 I had a weird dream last night.  I've probably had weird dreams 
all week, but this one I remember.
 In the dream, I was pregnant.  Hugely, enormously, smuggling a 
watermelon under my dress pregnant.  I had to waddle like a duck, and 
take potty breaks every hour, but I felt so happy and proud and 
fulfilled, and all my sisters were jealous because I was going to have a 
baby first, and I was practically glowing at the idea of breastfeeding my 
little bundle of joy, and the only worry I had was how I was going to 
keep the house clean enough for my wife--
 And a voice that sounded a lot like me said, "Wife?"
 Another voice that also sounded like me replied, "Of course, 
silly.  I'm a guy."
 "Oh, that's right," the first voice said, "Wait a minute.  I'm a 
guy, and I'm *pregnant*?  AAAGGHH!"
 And I woke up.
 My hair's gotten to the shaggy stage.  I shaved this morning, just 
for the masculine feeling of it, since I only needed to take off the 
face hair once a week anyway when I was a boy, and slapped on some Old 
Spice. 
 Deru was back in school, wrapped head to toe in magenta robes 
that made it difficult to tell if he was human, let alone what gender he 
was. 
 "When the Guru couldn't cure me," Deru explained, "he declared 
that being a girl was obviously my Zuumlikkat'nort."
 "Zoo-huh?"
 "Destiny.  Anyway, he said I could go back to school, as long as 
I dressed properly for a woman.  If it still hasn't worn off or something 
by the end of term, he'll arrange a...union for me."
 "Eww."  I couldn't think of anything more encouraging to say.
 "The only consolation so far is that my mother has to dress the 
same way.  Before, she was slacking."
 There were fewer male uniforms in sight today, and shorter lines 
at the boys' rooms.  The latest reports said that the Jyuusenkyo Water 
we'd all been splashed with was from the Spring of Drowned Bishoujo 
Bride, which I guess explains why the girls were affected too, and why 
the Wedding Peach fan club had suddenly doubled in size.
 At lunch, Happosai showed up.  I think he's getting bored waiting 
for his big showdown.  I helped chase him around for a while, and then 
the old pervert jumped me.  I didn't even see him change direction!
 He jumped onto my chest, burrowed into my shirt, and fastened 
onto my boobs.  Yep, even through the bindings.  I'd always thought girls 
overreacted to him.  I mean, it's just a little rubbing, right?  Wrong.  
Happosai doesn't just touch, he *violates*.  The way he fondles you, you 
*know* he's taking something away from you.
 "Interesting scent, Missy, but I think something with a floral 
note would suit you better," he cackled, then leapt away just as a bunch 
of brooms came down on me.  Ouch.
 A few more kids tried jumping from the clock tower today.  Only 
one managed to get past the guard, a weirdo named Tsubasa who doesn't 
even go to our school.  But the "clock gear" disguise he was wearing 
broke his fall, so he wasn't too badly hurt.
 I did great at the soccer tryout, until my chest bindings 
snapped, I guess Happosai must have weakened them earlier, so I was 
jiggling all over the place.  It's kind of hard to concentrate on ball 
control when you got that sort of thing going on.
 Coach Kanzaki, the girls' soccer coach, said I still qualified 
for first string, since her team had a couple of resignations too.  But 
then she told me I'd have to wear a sports bra.
 I told her exactly what I thought of that notion.
 "My, I haven't heard some of those words since I left the Defense 
Force."  She laughed and slapped me on the back.  "Nice to see you've 
got a little fire in you, but you still need to wear the bra.  Kuonji 
trained for years to move in those chest bindings, and we only have until 
next Saturday."
 I told her I'd think about it.  Painful though it is, I've 
decided that giving up soccer would be worse than wearing the proper 
safety equipment.
 After that I hooked up with a bunch of the guys that are still 
holding out and went to the arcade.  I kicked ass on the new Mortal 
Kombat vs. Killer Instinct game, until Koujiro got in with me.  He plays 
a mean Liu Kang.
 Then we sneaked up on the arcade roof with some beer to 
girlwatch.  I don't much like beer, and besides, I'm in training, so I 
just had a soda instead.  After a while, I noticed something weird.  The 
guys who were drinking the most were starting to use feminine 
speech--except Koujiro, and he was slugging down more than anyone.
 Guess alcohol lowers your resistance to the "mental effects", and 
Koujiro just has a natural tolerance for booze.  When I left, one of the 
guys I didn't know too well was wolf-whistling at delivery boys.
 Well, if Koujiro can hold on with all the pressure he's been 
getting, I can too.  That's it for tonight.

FRIDAY

 Nichie sneaked into the bathroom last night and took some 
pictures of me naked.  After I nearly strangled her, she promised they 
were *only* for me to have a record when I get cured.  I made her 
pinky-swear Nabiki would never get a copy.
 The Principal announced this morning that all the new fukus had 
arrived, so there wasn't any excuse for students to be out of uniform.  
We pretty much ignored him.
 Tetsuo is practically climbing the walls; as the only full boy 
left in the class, he's the target of all the girls, real and "gone 
over."  I hadn't noticed it before, but he's kind of cute when he 
squirms. 
 At lunch, I nipped over to "Nabiki's Secret", as we've taken to 
calling it, to get that sports bra.  It wasn't nearly as bad as I 
thought.  They didn't have any of the frilly fancy stuff on display.  The 
clerk said it was all she could do to keep the normal undies in stock.  
She was very professional and non-pushy, seemed kind of bored, actually. 
 The bra was so much more comfortable than those bindings that I 
decided to just wear it for the rest of the day.  Then I, well, I asked 
about panties.  My boxers had been bunching up on me funny, and in there 
somehow I felt less embarrassed about trying on lingerie.
 So I came out of the store wearing white cotton panties under my 
boys' uniform, and a week's supply of them in a bag from Osaka Hardware.  
I hope it won't come to me having to admit to Mom I've been wearing them 
when laundry day comes around, but they felt so comfy, if a little 
perverted. 
 Cutting back through the woods, I saw Nobu sitting under one of 
the trees and crying into his hair ribbon.
 "Yo, Nobu-chan!  What's wrong?"  I could guess, sure, but you're 
supposed to ask.
 He just looked up at me and started wailing again.
 "C'mon, we're buds, you can tell me."
 "Oh, Sanjuro-chan, it's so awful!  I went to Shinda's to get my 
ecchi magazines, and--"  Nobu had to blow his nose.
 "They were sold out?  The PTA made old man Shinda hide them 
again?" 
 "No, much worse!  I just picked up the ones that attracted my 
eye, and this is what I found in my bag when I opened it!"  He waved at a 
small pile of magazines on the ground.  Pro Wrestling World, Pumping 
Iron, Men's Swimming Quarterly.
 "So you accidentally picked up some sports rags instead of skin 
mags.  You can try and exchange--"
 "No, you don't understand!  I don't even like those sports!  I 
just want to drool over muscular men in trunks!  Nobu-chan's turning into 
a girl for real!  WAAH!"  He was really broke up about this.
 "Don't cry, Nobu-chan.  You've just got to hang on a little bit 
longer.  They'll find a cure soon," I said, not totally believing it 
myself.  I figured if Nobu finished slipping over, he wouldn't blame me 
for being optimistic.
 I helped him back to class, careful not to talk about what I had 
in *my* bag.  We got bucket duty, of course.
 Koujiro wasn't looking so good, apparently a tolerance for booze 
doesn't prevent hangovers.  Worse, his mom had given him some really bad 
news.  It seems one of his cousins is getting married next month, and 
Kanto-san volunteered him as a bridesmaid, so tomorrow afternoon he has 
to go to a bridal shop to be fitted for a dress.
 I promised me and a few of the guys would go along for moral 
support. 
 Soccer practice went okay, all things considered.  It is a lot 
easier moving in a sports bra.
 When I mentioned what I'm doing tomorrow, Mom hauled out the 
wedding album and told me all about how she'd gotten married to Dad.  
Turns out it was an arranged marriage, but it came out okay (unlike that 
Ranma/Akane thing that's been all the school gossip for the last year) 
and Mom made being the bride sound really cool.
 Grampa taught me yakuza-style craps.  I'm not as good at that as 
poker.  Shiiko cleaned us both out.  I am beginning to suspect her 
"innocent little girl" bit is just an act.

SATURDAY

 Nobu went over during the night, though he's still a pervert, for 
a girl.  If Ranma doesn't get back soon, there may be no one left to 
save. 
 Those of us still clinging to our masculinity one way or another 
are pretty easy to spot.  We're the ones not smiling.  Deru's still doing 
pretty good, considering.  I hope he was kidding about the "chastity 
belt." 
 Koujiro's mom ended up escorting eight of us guys to the bridal 
shop, though only about half of us qualify as boys in anything but birth 
certificate anymore.
 Koujiro's cousin had picked an exceptionally silly-looking gown 
for her bridesmaids.  Even if he's stuck as a girl forever, he's never 
going to wear *that* dress again.  But his mom was making all kinds of 
cooing noises over it, and the goneovers were all saying how wonderful 
the stupid thing was.
 Me, I wandered over to the tuxedo section.  According to the 
sales person, women getting tuxedos fitted is getting more common these 
days.  She showed me one with dark blue highlights they were doing for 
some chick named Ten'ou over in Juuban.
 After a really long time, they were done with the fitting, though 
Koujiro will have to come back for another one when they've finished the 
adjustments.  Unfortunately, his mom had brought along an ankle-length 
skirt and lacy blouse for him to change into.
 As she herded us to the ice cream parlor, Kanto-san invited all 
of us on a field trip to that famous wedding chapel tomorrow.  She's 
taking Koujiro so he can see how a bridesmaid is supposed to behave.  We 
weren't looking where we were going, so the group ended up taking a 
shortcut through a deserted alley.  Or it should have been deserted.
 The mouth of the alley was suddenly cut off by four big, 
nasty-looking guys, and when I looked back, there were three more behind 
us. 
 One of them seemed to be the leader, because he was the only one 
wearing mirrorshades, and he talked first.  "Well, well, the rumors were 
true.  Fuurinkan neighborhood really does have a bunch of pretty girls 
now.  Friendly girls, too, I heard.  You ladies wouldn't mind having a 
little party with me and the boys, would you?"  He smiled like a shark.
 The goneovers squealed in fright and tried to hide behind me and 
the other holdouts.  I was scared myself.  I couldn't have handled these 
thugs when I was all boy, what chance did I have in a weak girl body?  
The thugs laughed at us.
 "You can't get away with this!" insisted Koujiro's mom.  "The 
police will--"
 "The police in this neighborhood are all weak little girls too, 
now.  And I heard that all those famous martial artists got squirted or 
ran away.  So it's just you and us."  Where *was* Ranma when we really 
needed him?
 "How about we make the old biddy watch?" asked one of the other 
thugs.  He had an impressive display of piercings.  He grabbed 
Kanto-san.  
 "You leave Mom alone!" yelled Koujiro, and jumped the thug, only 
to get backhanded into a wall, hard.  That was the signal for the other 
thugs to start grabbing us.
 I noticed a faint blue glow around Koujiro, and then his head 
snapped up, and there was a new look in his eyes.
 "I can't fight in this outfit," he declared, and ripped off most 
of his skirt and the long sleeves on the blouse.  There was something 
about the way he was standing, and the tone of his voice.  The fear was 
gone.  He kicked off his high heels.
 Koujiro cracked his knuckles, ran at the thug holding his mom, 
ducked another backhand, and broke the creep's grabbing arm.
 While that thug was howling in pain, the others started attacking 
Koujiro, which distracted them from the rest of us.  I used a couple of 
soccer fouls to inflict pain, which gave the others enough courage to 
pelt the creeps with their purses and other weapons of opportunity.  
Kanto-san finally remembered she had some pepper spray, and used it on 
the leader.  They ran after that.
 But the definite hero of the day was Koujiro.  He'd taken some 
hits, including what was going to be a major shiner, but he'd given a lot 
worse than he'd gotten.  And it seemed like he had a lot more muscle 
definition now than before.  For a moment, I wanted Koujiro to be a man 
again so I could kiss him.
 "Are you all right, Koko-chan?" asked his mom.
 "I am fine, honored Mother," he replied.  "They were weaklings 
who could not stand before a true warrior."
 From his stance, choice of words, and not complaining about being 
called "Koko-chan", it was obvious Koujiro had gone over, but it wasn't 
to the same place the rest of the guys were going.
 His mom took a good look at the shiner.  "Maybe we should let a 
doctor see that, pumpkin."
 "Pah!" he spat.  "This is nothing compared to what will kill me." 
 He did agree to being made presentable, so we stopped at the 
nearest clothing store, where Koujiro picked out a leather mini-skirt and 
bustier.  Kind of daring, but he carried it well.  
 Then it was off to the ice cream parlor, where we celebrated the 
victory. 
 Spent the rest of the day goofing off and watching sports on TV 
with Dad.
 Just realized I don't have anything suitable to wear to that 
wedding chapel.

SUNDAY

 [Editor's note:  This entry has extremely poor calligraphy, no 
doubt due to Sanjuro's condition at the time.  We have translated it as 
faithfully as possible.]

 My hair is nearly a foot long now.  I just pulled it into a 
ponytail today, but eventually I'll have to figure out something to do 
with it.
 Wound up borrowing Nichie's good pantsuit to wear on the trip.  I 
figured she owed me one for the photos.  Besides, girls' clothes, boys' 
clothes, as long as they fit, right?  Was a bit tight around the chest.  
 Koko-ch--*Koujiro* wore a little primrose number, under protest.  
He kept muttering about "lack of protective value" and "I at least should 
have a knife."  His mom didn't look too happy with her "daughter", but 
wasn't as pushy as she's been lately.  I think she's a little afraid of 
him now.  None of the other holdouts showed for the trip, but Nobu did, 
in a black cocktail dress that looked painted on.
 The train trip up was pretty nice, except for the guys who tried 
to grope us when it got crowded.  Neither of them was particularly good 
at it, and a little pain discouraged them, especially when they found out 
we were from Fuurinkan.
 The chapel was everything it's cracked up to be, and very 
impressive.  I'm sticking in a flyer on it.  The ceremony (someone 
Kanto-san knows from her work) was very pretty, but kind of long.  I 
don't know if Koujiro learned anything about being a bridesmaid, since it 
looked to me like they just stood around looking pretty.
 After that was the reception, which was more fun, though at first 
it was the buffet I was most interested in.  Nobu was flirting 
shamelessly with the boys, though he quickly learned not to tell them 
where he was from.  Koujiro, though, was loudly claiming sh--*he, dammit, 
why can't I think straight?* wasn't going to go with any guy who hadn't 
"proved himself in battle." 
 The punch turned out to be spiked.  I don't know what kind of 
alcohol it was, but it was real smooth.  I didn't realized it was spiked 
until there'd already been four or five toasts.  The bride was looking 
really happy, maybe it wouldn't be so bad, getting married.
 Things get a little fuzzy after that.  I know I had some more 
punch, maybe a lot more punch, and I'm pretty sure I slow danced with a 
couple of boys.  I definitely remember Koujiro taking all comers at 
armwrestling. 
 Koujiro's mom decided it was time to take us home when she caught 
Nobu making out with an usher behind some bushes.  The only thing I 
remember about the trip back is all us gir--*GUYS, we're guys!* singing 
"Can You See the Joy?" in two-and-a-half-part harmony.
 Grampa slugged some coffee into me, and told me to write this all 
down while I can remember it.
 Remember...it's getting harder to remember feeling like a boy.  I 
think back to before I got cursed, but my mental image is of me in a girl 
body....  I'm so tired of fighting this thing, when it's just going to 
win in the end.
 Fuku's hung up, looking crisp and clean.  Think I'll wear it 
tomorrow.  Just to fit in.  It would be so nice to give in....

MONDAY 2

 Woke up this morning with a really bad hangover.  Felt like 
somebody was trying to thrust an icepick out through my temples.  This 
was not helped by Nichie yelling at me for borrowing her stuff without 
asking, though she did get me out of bed.  Grampa'd left me some of his 
"Guaranteed Morning After Elixer."  Guess it works by tasting worse than 
your head aches.
 I was halfway to school before I noticed a draft on my legs and 
relaized I was wearing the fuku.  What creeps me out is that it didn't 
feel creepy.  For the first time in a week, everything I was wearing fit, 
and I actually had to remind myself I hadn't wanted it to.
 I guess getting drunk really lowered my mental defenses, and the 
curse took full advantage of it.  I can almost feel it in the back of my 
brain, eating the last shreds of my manhood.
 All day long, it's been getting harder to fight.  It just seems 
so much easier to say "atashi" instead of "ore" or even "boku".  Every 
time I see my reflection, I want to "do something" with my face and hair 
so boys will think I'm pretty.
 Boys...I'm having fantasies about marrying a boy and--and-- 
making love to him.  The curse is telling me how much fun it will be, how 
normal it is, how...natural.  I look at Momoko, and the closest thing to 
sexual feelings I have for her is "potential rival".  I don't even *want* 
to look at Tetsuo, because of what I might feel.
 I shucked the fuku as soon as I came home and dressed up in my 
old clothes.  The briefs feel...weird, almost forbidden.  And when I look 
in the mirror, I see a girl playing dress-up in her brother's clothes, 
looking silly.  And I see the look in my eyes...the "haunted" look of 
those about to go over.  Tomorrow, the next day at the latest.  I'll 
fight it as long as I can, but I'm not going to win.
 I wonder how much of me will be left?  Some people, like Nabiki, 
are almost themselves.  If you ignore the big stuff, Kunou is pretty 
close to how he was before, with the bokken and poetry and junk.  About 
all that's left of Nobu is his sex drive, he was always pushing girls for 
all the way on the first date, and he's only switched it around now.  
Koujiro was always trying to act "tough", now he thinks he's Xena or 
something.  And other guys, the ones that didn't have anything that stood 
out, I don't see anything of their old selves at all.  They're pure 
stereotype girls.
 I feel the Bishoujo Bride shredding things in my mind, and I'm 
afraid there won't be much left when it's done.  Nothing that anyone will 
recognize anyway.
 This might be my last chance...Mom, Dad, I love you.  Please 
remember the me that used to be, even if I forget.  Grampa, pray for me.  
Ichiko, Nichie, I'm sorry for all the times I teased you for being too 
"girly" or claimed women were stupid.  Shiiko, I wish I could have seen 
you grow up, and been a better big brother.  
 Most of my friends are already gone, and soon I'll be joining 
them, wherever it is.
 I hope I'll be able to write more tomorrow, but if I can't, not 
"goodbye" but "until we meet again".

TUESDAY 2

 When I look back at my entries for last week, I have to shake my 
head.  How could I have been so silly?  I mean, actually thinking of the 
Becoming as a curse?
 Today I woke up feeling refreshed and at peace with myself.  The 
birds were singing, the sun was shining and all was right with the world. 
 I decided to go with a simple braid until I can get my hair 
professionally done.  Then I put on my fuku and twirled in front of the 
mirror.  Yes, it was ever so much prettier than wearing that icky boys' 
uniform.  It's kind of sad I don't have anything else nice to wear, but 
I'm sure Ichiko and Nichie will lend me stuff until I can build up my 
wardrobe.
 I saw I was running a little late, so I just grabbed my lunch and 
ran out without talking to anyone.
 At school, I bought a makeup kit from Nabiki, along with a 
"how-to" booklet.  I'd seen other transformed girls really mess up the 
first time without instructions.
 Things went much more smoothly now that I was acknowledging who I 
truly was, instead of pretending to be my old self.  I was able to get my 
schedule switched around so I could take Cooking and Fashion Design.  And 
I could talk to the other girls about important things like what shade 
polish to use on my toenails without getting embarrassed. 
 I have to pity the poor girls who are still denying the 
Becoming.  I remember how miserable I was last week.  Oh well, they'll 
join us soon.
 What's going on with Koko-chan is a bit harder to figure out.  
She's such a violent tomboy now!  It's like she was splashed by an 
entirely different spring.  Now she wants to get combat training from 
that old lady that runs the Nekohanten, because "Amazon tribes are 
sensibly run, with the women in charge."
 I talked to Coach Kanzaki, because I wasn't sure I wanted to stay 
in soccer, but she reminded me that women who get a lot of exercise have 
easier childbirths.  Besides, the team can't afford to lose any more 
players.  And when I got out on the field, I realized I really do love 
the game.
 When I got home, Mama seemed surprised to see me.  But she 
recovered and let me know someone had called.
 I called them back, and it turned out to be Kei, one of the boys 
I'd danced with at the reception.  I'd given him my phone number, one of 
the things I didn't remember Sunday night, and he wanted to know if I'd 
like to go on a date with him.
 Kei had a nice voice, and I think I remember he's good-looking, 
so naturally I said "Yes!"  We're going to the movies this weekend.  
Let's face it, the competition for the few boys at Fuurinkan is way too 
intense, and I'm beginning to suspect Tetsuo is gay.  How else could he 
resist our charms?
 My family didn't take the news as well as I'd hoped.  Mama bit 
her lip and looked ready to cry.  Papa was very cross.  I know he was 
looking forward to having a son follow in his footsteps, but I'm sure 
he'll see that a son-in-law is just as good.  
 Grandfather had another of his episodes, talking about how "The 
priestess warned me, but no, I just had to get off that island!"
 The reaction that hurt the most was Shiiko's.  "You're not 
Sanjuro!  You're some kind of pod person!  Give back my brother!"
 "But Shiiko-chan, I am Sanjuro, but now I'm my true feminine 
self.  I'll be a terrific big sister, you'll see!" I assured her.
 "I've got two big sisters already!  I want my big brother, and 
I'm not going to talk to you until you bring him back!"  She ran out of 
the room.
 No one wanted to talk after that.  Everyone was upset, but there 
wasn't anything that could be done.  I'm sure they'll all see what a 
wonderful thing the Becoming is eventually.
 Deru is still resisting, I think.  hard to tell under those robes 
of hers.
 Ranma might as well stay away now.  Happosai seems to have 
disappeared, and now I realize that being "cured" would actually be a bad 
thing.  I never want to go back to being that horrible rude, violent, 
selfish boy!  I'd much rather make someone a terrific wife.
 Well, that's it for tonight, so this is San-chan signing off!


 [Editor's note:  While the journal continues, its tone and focus 
change radically, and the entries become much less useful to the beginning 
student.  There is, for example, a fifteen page essay on San's shoe 
shopping experiences, complete with a detailed description of each pair 
of shoes tried on.
 [Thus, we will summarize what we believe to be the important 
events of the next two weeks before Ranma Saotome's return.
 [San (nee Sanjuro) Tanaka led her team to victory in the soccer 
games played during this period, despite protests from the other schools' 
coaches.
 [She went on her date with Kei, who turned out to be 
average-looking, and had a good time.  Her father made sure to impress 
upon Kei her "true nature" and the hope for a cure, so the young man did 
not attempt anything beyond hand-holding.
 [Koko (nee Koujiro) Kanto was allowed to begin training as a 
provisional member of the Joketsuzoku tribe of Amazons.
 [Nobu continued to be a brazen hussy.
 [No further mention of Deru is made, apparently she dropped off 
San's radar completely.
 [For a full edition of the journal, please check with the 
Manuscript Department.]


   THE END (of the Journal)

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Comments?

SKJAM!
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/5990
for more of my work!


BY:nightelf@thekeep.org (Nick Leifker)
happi4f sidestory
     Kasumi Tendo looked up from her notes, and sighed.  She watched
as Dr. Tofu was checking up on one of her patients, making sure that
the young woman was healthy in mind as well as in body.  The doctor's
soothing, unthreatening voice calmed the girl down allowing her to
check the patient's physical condition, and offered her comforting
words for a person offered no comfort save personal oblivion.  

     In a very disturbing way, it was like looking in a mirror.  Like
herself, Tofu beamed a gentle, comforting smile that could stop armed
conflicts, wore her dark brown hair in a ponytail over her right
shoulder, and had taken to wearing the utilitarian skirt-and-blouse
combinations that she herself preferred.  It was as though Tofu had
chosen her to emulate, and had become a reasonable facsimilie of her
as a result.

     Weary of the day, she glanced over at the clock.  6:30.  The
work was almost done; all Tofu had left on the schedule was a haunted
young lady in a boy's uniform.  She could see it in the girl's
mannerisms: she'd already begun to slip, and it wouldn't be long
before she succumbed.  It was for these patients that Tofu was at her
best.  

     She watched, a touch of envy entering her features as Tofu began
her examination.  Tofu didn't even touch the girl physically; she
never did unless the patient asked for it or the situation called for
it.  The girl started her tale, how she felt, *what* she was
feeling... and soon burst out crying.  Tofu comforted the girl with a
master's touch; she'd make an excellent mother one day...

     Before Kasumi knew it, Tofu had ended the session.  "Hikaru,
if... I wish I could give you a formula to make it all better.  If...
you need someone to talk to, I'll be here."  She gave the former boy
one last hug, and sent her on her way.  

     Tofu waved goodbye to the patient, then turned back inside. 
"Thank you for your help, Kasumi."

     Kasumi bowed, hoping her sadness wouldn't show.  "It was my
pleasure, Doctor."

     Tofu straightened out the wrinkles on her skirt, and let out a
long yawn.  "ohhh.... I could use a bath."

     In that moment, Kasumi saw her chance.  "Um... doctor, do you
mind if I join you?"

     For an moment, Tofu faltered, a motion that nearly sent Kasumi
to tears.  It disappeared like a summer breeze, though, as she
straightened herself up.  "It would be my pleasure.  Follow me."  

     Kasumi followed Tofu upstairs and into the furo.  The two
quickly began undressing, neither one self-conscious of the other's
presence.  They quickly moved into the shower section of the bath,
and started to scrub.

     Kasumi couldn't help but notice Tofu as she lathered herself up. 
The young woman was young, well-endowed, and blessed and cursed with
the flawless beauty that came from Jusenkyo's touch.  Unlike the
other victims of Happosai's water, though, Tofu carried an air of
grace around herself, a confidence that took her own self years to
master... a confidence which she'd found slipping of late.  

     Tofu finished scrubbing her hair, and looked over at Kasumi. 
"You know, I would expect Happosai to ogle me like that, but not you,
Kasumi."

     The young woman blushed.  "Sorry, Doctor.  it's just that the
changes are so..."

     "Strange?"  A soft chuckle came from Tofu's lips.  "Tell me
about it."

     Kasumi resumed her own scrubbing.  "Well, it's not just the
physical, but there are... other things... for instance, you're more
graceful than the others."

     Tofu smiled.  "Thank you for noticing."  She picked up a bucket
of rinse water.  "Some of us weren't affected fully by the curse."

     "What do you mean?"

     The good doctor poured the water over her head.  "How much has
your sister changed as a result of the curse?"

     Kasumi shrugged.  "Not much, really.  I mean, she's more
interested in boys and cooking now, but for the most part she's still
Nabiki."  

     "Just as I am still the good doctor."

     "Huh?"

     Tofu wiped the water from her eyes, and pushed the hair out of
her face.  "Nabiki has always been interested in being a
businesswoman.  It's been her calling ever since I've known your
family.  When the curse hit her, it tried to change her, but her
desire to go into business was so strong that it had to work around
her.  Something similar happened with me.  I... Ever since I can
remember, I always wanted to be a doctor, to help people and to care
for their problems.  As a result, I remained largely me... and
largely not."

     Kasumi moved closer to Tofu.  She could sense the doctor's
nervousness.  "What happened to you, Doctor?  You've talked about
everyone else's change... what happened to you?"

     Tofu rubbed her face in her hands.  "I... I didn't have time to
feel the change inside of me.  I had too many people who needed my
help.  I... I didn't even notice what had happened to me until I
looked at you."  

     The good doctor moved closer to Kasumi, and put an arm around
her.  "The first day after the change, I put on a bra and panties.  I
told myself that they were necessary, due to my new figure.  The next
day I wore a dress, because it fit me better.  I... I didn't notice
my bedside manner changing as I worked.  I... was becoming more
motherly, and I didn't even notice, I was so busy.  Then... then you
walked in, and I realized what I had lost.

     "Kasumi, I... I love you.  I want to be your friend now.  I want
to go out shopping and talk about life and to help people with you. 
I value that friendship now more than anything.  But it hurts
sometimes... because I remember wanting so much more, and never
getting a chance to tell you."  

     Kasumi closed her eyes.  Tofu loved her, just as she loved
him... and now loved her.  "Tofu... how much is there left of you?"

     The doctor got up from the stool.  "Enough.  Enough to know what
happened to me.  Enough to see how much I lost - and how much I
gained."

     "What have you gained, Doctor?"

     Tofu smiled.  "Peace of mind.  You as a friend.  A sense of
purpose." She stuck her foot in the furo, then quickly pulled it back
out.  

     "What's wrong?"

     Tofu looked at the water fearfully.  "I... the water's too hot."

     Kasumi looked at her.  "What do you mean, 'too hot'?"

     Kasumi's eyes widened as she looked at Tofu's face.  There was a
touch of anticipation... but fear was there, as well.  "I... felt a
tingling.  When I put my foot in the water."  

     Kasumi narrowed her eyes at her.  "You mean... you think you'd
change if you went in?"

     Tofu's scared eyes gave her all the answer she needed.  

     "Then what are you waiting for?  Get in!"

     Tofu shook her head.  "I... I know this may seem difficult for
you to understand, Kasumi, but I'd rather not."  

     Kasumi looked her in the eye.  "Why not?"

     Tofu let out a long, deep sigh.  "Because of what I'd lose if I
did.  I'm at peace now, Kasumi.  I am a woman now; I have hopes and
dreams of raising a family of my own.  I... if I dove in, I'd be
constantly going from one form to another, sometimes a guy, sometimes
a girl, but never truly one or the other.  Also... I have you for a
friend, something I've wanted for a long time."  She reached out to
touch Kasumi's cheek.  "I don't want to lose that."  

     "Baka," Kasumi whispered.  "You won't lose me.  I promise.  I'm
not letting you go, even if you go absolutely crazy on me as a woman. 
Now... are you going to run from yourself forever, or are you going
to dive in, with me, right now?"

     For a moment, she thought she'd pushed too far.  She knew Tofu
had a woman's desires; she just hoped there was enough left of 'him'
for her to try.  She watched as indecision flashed in her eyes, as
she looked from herself to the pool that was her doom.  She watched
expectantly as Tofu looked at her, like a dear caught in headlights,
and nodded.  

     Kasumi walked behind Tofu, and held on tightly around her
stomach.  "Okay.  Follow my lead."  She lifted her foot over the wall
and into the bathtub.  Tofu was more hesitant; it was as though her
body were fighting the change.  Kasumi moved both feet into the furo,
and waited for Tofu to follow her.  It took a moment, but she did.

     "Now, Tofu, I'm going to slowly go into the water.  I'm not
going to let go of you, not before the change, not after the change. 
Okay?"  Tofu nodded.  She slowly eased herself into the hot water,
holding onto Tofu for dear life.  

     For several seconds, nothing happened, a moment in which all of
Kasumi's hopes crashed.  Then she felt it, as the body in her arms
expanded, and her hopes rose.  Tofu's waist moved outward and to the
side, while her chest flattened from sensitive curves to hard,
compact muscle.  She tried not to look at his body; she had his
modesty to think about, after all.  

     Then the tremors came, nervous twitches as the male Tofu
realized where he was, and who he was with.  She held onto him for
dear life, not allowing herself to feel the strain of muscle against
muscle, all the while whispering soothing words into his ear.  After
a few moments, the spasms faded to a soft quivering, then relaxed.  

     "Shhh, Tofu, it's all right," Kasumi breathed, letting her
fingers play through his damp hair.  It was still at the length it
was before the bath, but somehow it fit him.  When he'd finally
relaxed enough to be himself, Kasumi leaned against his shoulder, and
began to cry.  

     "Thank you, Kasumi."  The voice sounded different to her ears. 
It was softer... gentler than the masculine Tofu she knew, but a
touch more powerful than the woman she'd become friends with.  The
best combination of both, she decided.  

     "You're welcome, Tofu... you're welcome." 

**********

     "Father, where are you going?"

     The sight in front of her that morning was enough to break
Kasumi's heart.  The two before her had been her father and his best
friend; now, there was nothing to distinguish them from the average
teenager.  They went into the curse with the proud bravado of men;
all that came from them now were giggles, blushes, and the occasional
curtsey.

     To put it succinctly, she didn't know whether to scream yet or
just cry.

     "To the mall," Soun replied.  She wore her hair in a ponytail
now, one which extended all the way down her back.  "Genma and I...
have some equipment to shop for.  Isn't that right, Genma?"  Ever the
partner in crime, Genma nodded.

     Kasumi put her hands on her hips.  A third option presented
itself inside of her... one which found widespread appeal.  "And what
about training Akane?  Don't you usually reserve this time to help
train her?"

     Genma smiled.  "Akane doesn't want to train right now.  She said
something about learning a new recipe from Yuka, and went over to her
house to learn it.  So... we figured that if Akane didn't want to
learn, why should we force her?"

     The look from Kasumi could burn through steel.  "You should be
stronger than that, Father!  Someone needs to learn the Art, Father! 
If Akane doesn't want to, then train me!"

     Soun looked at her incredulously.  "Train you?  You haven't
taken a lesson in eight years, Kasumi!"

     Kasumi growled.  "I'm a fast learner, Father."  

     Soun looked her up and down, then shrugged.  "Kasumi, I'm too
busy now.  I've got too much to do now to start teaching again!  Come
on, Genma."  She turned to leave, when a fist connected with the wood
beside her.  Kasumi's fist had missed her by less than an inch.

     "Father, your responsibility is to train us to run this dojo. 
And I will NOT let you shirk your duties."  

     Soun turned back around to face her, her anger flaring.  She
gave her best demon head (pink and kawaii, unfortunately) to her
child, to scare her off.  "Kasumi, I am your father!  Do not speak to
me like that!"

     In that moment, Kasumi saw red.  Her fists lashed out at her
father, each blow a scream of anguish.

     "You're not my father!  My father cared about his home, and
about the Art!  You're just a spoiled little girl who needs to learn
some manners!  And it's about time someone taught them to you!"

     Kasumi didn't know the Amaguriken, the Hiryuu Shouten Ha, or any
special moves.  All she remembered was how to stand, how to punch,
and how to kick.  Her anger did the rest.  She could feel the power
within her, aching to be released in all its glory, to show this
weak, foolish girl who was the master...

     "Please, Kasumi, stop!"  Soun was on the floor, whimpering.  Her
arms were shielding her face... shielding her shame, it seemed. 
"I... I can't teach you, Kasumi.  I... am not the man you knew.  I'm
sorry."  She ran out of the house, Genma right behind her.  

     Kasumi rocked back on her heels, and fell down with an
unceremonious plop.  She'd just beaten her father - in the bad way as
well as the good.  Technically, by the rules of the house, she was
the official master of the dojo.  Worse, she'd *enjoyed* it, reveled
in the strength her new body performed and the ease by which it took
her down.  She should be crying; she wondered absently why she
wasn't.

     She got up, and put on her shoes.  She needed help - and fast.  

**************************

     Tofu looked down at the two outfits in his hands, not being able
to decide between them.  Both were comfortable, and perfect for the
springtime weather; both were practical, utilitarian, and flattered
his body quite nicely.  

     The only difference was the body each one required.  

     Sighing, he put the brown gi in his closet and set the dress in
a safe place.  Right now a more motherly touch was needed in the
clinic, as most Jusenkyo patients needed a good shoulder to cry on. 
The holdouts had started to crumble, and a woman's comfort and
patience, as well as the guidance of someone who'd been there, was
needed.  Besides, he'd spent the previous day as a man, and his other
side wanted her fair share.

     As he felt the cold water wash over him, she wondered if perhaps
she'd made a bad decision.  She'd had to change her normal self... to
allow room for all of herself.  This meant adopting some more
feminine ways of thinking, but for the most part it was good.  It was
a different kind of peace, but it was still peace.  Problem is, there
were some people, most notably her mother, who weren't likely to
understand.  She was about to start dressing when the front door flew
open.  

     Hastily, she reached for her clothes.  She'd learned to dress in
a mater of seconds in an emergency; it took a little longer due to
the bra, but it was still in record time.  She rushed downstairs to
greet her guest - and nearly slammed right into Kasumi.  

     "Ah, Kasumi.  What a coincidence running into you here, of all
places."  

     Kasumi blinked, then grabbed her tightly in a bear hug.  "Oh,
Tofu... I... I need help."

     Tofu returned the hug, then sighed.  "What is it, Kasumi?"

     Kasumilet go, then stared down at the floor.  Her dark eyes
shimmered with tears; however, not a drop coursed down her cheek. 
"Tofu... I... I think the curse is starting to take over, and I don't
even know what it is."

     The doctor was in in an instant.  "Why?  What happened?"

     Kasumi started to walk around the floor, her only way of
releasing nervous energy.  "I... I had an argument with Father.  She
made me so angry... that I attacked her."

     Tofu blinked.  This was serious.  "You attacked her?  Why?"

     Kasumi sighed.  "Because I thought she was neglecting her duties
as a parent and as a martial artist.  I even asked her to train me,
so that I could keep the dojo running if she couldn't.  I never
thought she'd... she'd..."

     The doctor walked over, and began to make a pot of tea.  Her
hands moved deftly, as though she were using tea ceremony in a
practical situation.  "Kasumi... I... I have two things to say to
you."  She placed the dried leaves into a bowl, and poured the water. 
"First, I think I finally know what water you were hit with."

     Kasumi looked up, surprised... and scared.  "Why do I get the
feeling I'm not going to like the answer?"

     Tofu shrugged.  "I dunno.  I think you're made of stronger stuff
than most.  Anyway, how much do you know about Amazon mentality?"

     Something clicked inside Kasumi's mind with those words. 
"Apparently more than I used to, Tofu."  Tofu offered her a cup,
which she accepted.  "So... what do I do now?"

     "That's the second thing I wanted to tell you.  You need to talk
with your family.  Sit them down, have everyone help in making the
snacks, and just spend some time with them.  Ask them how they feel. 
How did they feel while they were changing?  Why did they eventually
give in?  At the same time, tell them what you're feeling, and why. 
I think... that that may be a way to help you keep from becoming a
total Amazon mentally.  I have some other suggestions, but those will
wait."

     "Wait?  Why?"

     Tofu smiled secretively, provocatively.  "You'll find out soon
enough."  

*****************

     Kasumi rubbed the white cotton of her gi.  Somehow, the fabric
felt... right, proper to her.  It had been too long since she'd worn
a gi, too long since she'd trained... too long since she'd lived. 
Ironically, the gi had been her mother's, back when her parents both
taught classes together.  

     Unfortunately, those days were long gone.  Mother was dead. 
Father... was gone.  The talk she'd had proved that; she knew about
her past, but her present desires were nothing of the man who raised
her.  She had lost a father due to Happosai... but gained another
sister.  Akane, while still a fighter, had been distracted of late,
and didn't feel like training.  Ranma... Ranma was gone.  For the
sake of the school, she had to operate under that assumption.  

     "So this is who I'm supposed to teach?"

     Kasumi's eyes widened on hearing the soft voice.  Cologne, Elder
of the Chinese Amazons, entered the dojo, soon followed by Shampoo
and Tofu.  

     Kasumi couldn't help herself; she bowed deeply to the elder. 
"Greetings, Elder."

     Cologne blinked, then looked carefully at Kasumi.  After a
moment, she sighed.  "So... it would seem the ranks of Amazon women
are growing."

     Tofu nodded.  "Now do you know why I asked you to help me?"

     Cologne couldn't help but smile.  "To an extent.  I'm curious
why someone from the Musebetsu Kaketou can't teach her, though."

     Kasumi's eyes turned cold.  "There are only two other willing
practicioners of my family's school.  Both are in hiding."

     "True enough."  Cologne sat down, and eyed her pupil warily. 
"Why do you want to fight, girl?"

     Kasumi looked downward for a moment.  "My family has always been
a fighting one.  My... my family is on the verge of falling apart
because of what Happosai did.  And I am *not* going to sit idly back
and watch him succeed."

     "Good."  The elder held out her hand.  "You have a reason for
fighting - and a very good one at that.  If you will supply yourself
and this place for our training... I will help.  However, Ono will be
your main teacher - for now, anyway.  Is that understood?"

     Kasumi positively glowed.  "Yes, Elder."

     Cologne smiled.  "Now... let's see what a Japanese Amazon can
do."

**************************************

     Kasumi darted to the left, hoping to avoid Tofu's punches.  She
could feel the wind as the punches passed by her.  An opening in
Tofu's attacks made itself evident, and she moved in, trying to
exploit it.  

     To her dismay, it was a ruse.  Tofu had been expecting it, and
blocked at the last second.  Unfortunately, Kasumi was off balance as
a result of the attack, and very vulnerable.  Tofu tagged her on the
right shoulder, a soft blow that hurt harder than any slap.

     "Point."  Tofu smiled, and adjusted her gi top.  "You're getting
better."  

     Kasumi blinked at Tofu.  "You know, I still haven't decided
which side of you is the better flatterer."

     Tofu flashed Kasumi her most seductive look.  "Why, this form,
of course.  You think I'd try to pick up *girls* in this form?"  The
two laughed at the private joke... but it left silence in the air.  

     "Tofu, I -"
     "Kasumi, I -"

     "Go ahead," Tofu gestured.  

     Kasumi bit her lip.  "Tofu, I... I asked my... I asked Soun for
something earlier today."

     Tofu blinked.  "What?"

     "I asked her if she would mind... if I started dating you."

     Tofu's heart stopped.  "Date..."  

     Kasumi nodded in reply.  "I mean, we never formalized ourselves
as a couple, so... I thought it best to ask permission first."

     "So... what was her response?"  

     Kasumi grinned.  "She wanted a shot at you first."

     Tofu grimaced, all the while trying to keep her giggles down. 
"That's bad, Kasumi.  Even for you."

     "I know," Kasumi said mysteriously.  

     Tofu bit her lip for a moment.  She was of two minds on the
issue.  One wanted Kasumi as a wife, the other wanted to keep Kasumi
as a friend.  She walked over, and took Kasumi's hand.  

     "Kasumi, are you willing to spend the rest of your life with
someone who looks as good in your clothes as you do?"

     Kasumi nodded, her face dangerously close to Tofu's.  "I know. 
It's... one of the things I love about you.  You... understand me." 
Her voice turned low toward the end, as her gi suddenly felt
surprisingly hot.  "Tofu... are you willing to accept a barbarian
Amazon for a companion?"

     Tofu loosened the collar of her own gi.  "Always, Kasumi...
always."  She reached out, kissed Kasumi full on the lips, and
managed a wry smile.  "Just one thing: Do you mind if I wear a
wedding dress too?"

*************************

     "... And that's how your mommy and daddy got together."

     The toddler in his lap frowned.  Her brown eyes radiated
confusion.  "Okay... so how did Auntie Akane and Uncle Ranma meet? 
And Auntie Nabiki and Uncle Hitoshi?"  

     Tofu smiled, and tried to keep from laughing.  "Those are
stories for another day, Yumeko.  Now pleasant dreams."  He tucked
his daughter in for the night, and kissed her on the forehead.  Good
night."

     Yumeko smiled beneath her long hair.  "'Night, Daddy."  Yawns
began to swallow her as Tofu walked out of the room.  He felt
familiar hands wrap around his waist - slender, sensitive, but
remarkably powerful.  

     "Hello, love."

     "Hello."  Kasumi rested her head against his shoulder.  "Are you
ready for bed?  Or do you want a cold shower first?"

     Tofu thought for a bit.  "I think we'll pass on the shower for
tonight."  He reached back and kissed her, a wave of emotions
flooding his senses at the contact.  "Besides, we're supposed to take
Yumeko shopping tomorrow."  

     "You're no fun," Kasumi whispered.

     Tofu looked at the blush in Kasumi's features, and smiled.  "I
think I just proved otherwise."

     Kasumi's eyebrow arched high - a sure sign of invitation.  "Care
to prove it again?"

     Tofu smiled.  "Any time, any place, any body... as long as it's
with you."  He led her down the hall to the master bedroom, and shut
the door behind them.

****************************************

Nicholas Leifker
nightelf@thekeep.org
June 9, 1998


Ranma 1/2
Happi Days 4g:A Letter To Home

by Gregg Sharp/Metroanime@mindspring.com
Ranma 1/2 char (c) Rumiko Takahashi, VIZ, etc.

-----------------------
Dear Mother & Father,

First things first, the meeting with Yuko did NOT go
well. What was I supposed to think when a woman I'd
been writing for eight years is talking about what
kind of house she wants to live in and what kind of
guy she's looking to marry? It turns out that she
regards gaijin as an inferior species, NOT suitable
for introducing to one's parents.

I took it pretty hard, her rejection still ringing
in my ears, and I rejoined the anime club on the
second day of their tour.

Get the family together and watch the videotape that
I've enclosed.

Done? Good. I found one of the Japanese television
stations doing English news for travelers and contacted
them for that videotape. Now you remember that scene
showing the anime store in Nerima?

Well, yeah. That's me. That is why my one week trip to
Japan is currently in its third week. No, it isn't a 
hoax. The woman you see at the end of the tape, the one
who says "Hello Mom, Dad, Brother. I miss you" is 
actually your former son. Hope you don't mind having a
daughter, it was kind of a surprise to me too.

I mean, really, there I was standing outside an anime
store in Japan, waiting for the doors to open so I could
practice my fragmentary Japanese and try to pick up a 
copy of the new NukuNuku laserdisc, and some little 
hentai creep splashes me with some water.

I gotta tell you, just the memory of that creeps me out
worse than living with the effects. It didn't HURT, but
your skin feels like you're taking a bath in something
carbonated, and you feel your skin and bones and flesh
moving. Dan used the phrase "reconfiguring" -you can
tell he's an engineer, has to put everything in techie
terms.

So I find myself looking like you see in that video. It
could be worse, trust me. Three of the others now want
to take up housekeeping as a vocation, that weird guy,
Sean, is wearing a Sailor Moon fuku and running around
making speeches about how "In The Name Of The Moon, I
Want A Large Fries With That."

The curse is related to the water, and is permanent for
most people. Some of the later people didn't get hit 
with the permanent aspect, or that aspect wore off after
two weeks. Now cold water turns these last into their
housewife persona, hot water returns relative normalcy.
I don't seem to be that fortunate.

According to Nabiki, this major mercenary out here who's
selling her sister's cookies (her own cookies aren't
edible), says that there was more than one kind of water
used. One curses you with the "Housewife" attitude, then
there's this water dealing with someone from a place 
called "Niichieju." (I think that's it. My Japanese is a
LOT better but still ain't that great.)There's also just
a plain "Spring of Drowned Girl" that just changes the
gender.

As I understand it, these are some hidden village of
Chinese "Amazons" that may have some relation to the
Greek variety. I know that my enthusiasm for the martial
arts has increased dramatically, and I'm getting lessons
nightly after my job at Ucchan's (sort of a Japanese
pizza parlor.) It doesn't pay that well, but it pays
enough to cover expenses.

I don't know when I'll be back. Some of us want to stick
around for a cure, but apparently some people have had
these water curses for quite some time, and those of us
who are "locked" can't even use the one cure that is
supposed to work- some "Spring Of Drowned Man" over in
China. Right now there's a major problem caused by the
fact that I don't look a bit like my passport photo, I
only have two sets of clothes that fit the new body, 
and even when I do get back, what then? I mean all my
records, my driver's license, everything is for a guy
who doesn't really look that close to me.

On the plus side, I look thinner now but I'm a helluva
lot stronger. I figure I can bench 200# now, got really
good endurance, and I'm over a foot taller. Yup, gone
from being the shortest kid on the block at 5'3" to 6'9".
Also got really long hair. I understand from some local
Elder of this Amazon Village, that long hair is a sign
of honor- that shaving one's head indicates a loss of
honor or status within the tribe. At least as far as
Warrior caste is concerned. I dunno, I kind of
like it despite it being hot as all get out here, and
humid too.

Some other aspects I'm really having trouble with, but
I won't burden you with that. The upshot is that there
are apparently mental/attitudinal effects. The really 
good news is that this stuff apparently cures all 
sorts of problems. I've never been healthier, and the
martial arts sensei says I show promise.

There's also a chance I can be accepted as a provisional
member of this Amazon Village place, which means that 
even if I can't find a cure, I'll be able to find a home.

Later,



Richard M. Straczynski

PS: My fingerprints apparently remain the same. I assume
retinal patterns are likewise unchanged. I don't know
how much this will help, though. Unless I find a cure 
and soon, assume that I'm going to have to manufacture
a new identity. Will call later.

PPS: According to that Elder, I need a name to be called
if I'm inducted into the Amazons. I'm thinking of going
with Nayami, one of the many words for trouble. Maybe
just Ri Ku. 
Ranma 1/2 rough draft
Happi Days #5: Fourth Week, Sunday
  all char are (c) Takahashi Rumiko, with the exception
of Tetsuo, the crew of the smuggler ship 'ChaCha Maru'
and extraneous other characters thrown in for one scene
or less.
------------------------
what's happened so far: go back and read the other
stories, gee, it's only chapter five! yeesh.
-------------------------
  "Raaaaaannnmmmaaaaa!"

  Ranma turned to see Ryouga running towards him. Ranma
briefly wondered how Ryouga had found him when he'd
just gotten off the bus into Nerima a few minutes ago.

  Ranma shrugged and cracked his knuckles. Why ask why?
It looked like he'd be getting in a fight almost as soon
as his feet hit the ground. Well, if Ryouga was gonna
take THAT approach, he wouldn't share the little item
he'd found in China.

  Ryouga ran past Ranma, then ducked right, disappearing
into an alley. Ranma blinked twice, as his expression
went blank. "Huh?"

  "Over here!" Ryouga called from around the corner.

  Ranma thought briefly this might be a trap, but why
did Ryouga sound panicked? 

  "Hurry, they'll be here any moment!" 

  That was definitely panic in Ryouga's voice. Did 
Akane finally figure out who P-chan was?

  "You gotta hide me, Ranma!"

  Ranma got his first good look at Ryouga as he 
entered the alley. Torn clothing, tousled hair, 
lipstick stains, it must have been one heck of a fight.

  Ranma stopped and rewound the last observation. 
"Lipstick stains?!" Ranma counted four such marks on
Ryouga. "Ryouga, has Akari been..."

  "Shut up!" Ryouga looked around nervously. "You don't
have any clue at all, do you?"

  "Uhm, well, if that isn't it, what's going on?"

  Ryouga clenched a fist and made a face. "You don't
know the horrors I've been through the past week. I
can't even get lost without some girl coming around to
help me out. I've got women chasing me around trying to
get me to eat the 'extra lunch they just happened to
bring along.' It's been HELL, I tell you!"

  That last was howled. As the echoes died away, Ryouga
opened his eyes and realized exactly what he had just
done. "Oh my."

  Ranma jumped up and swung himself onto a fire escape
as a mob of fuku-clad women came running around the
corner.

  "RYOUGA-SAMA!" The lead girl was waving a bokken over
her head. "I would date with you!"

  "Ryouga-darling! Ryouga-honey! Ri-chan! Charlotte!
Ryouga my sweet! Ryouga, make me yours!" The crowd was
charging along only slightly behind the bokken wielder.

  "Eeep!" Ryouga turned and ran, trying his level best
to attain Warp Factor Six without benefit of a starship.
Ranma had to admit he was doing a fair job of it too.
Maybe this was some kind of speed training that Ryouga
had thought up. Nah, that was real panic that the lost
boy was displaying.

  Thoroughly puzzled, Ranma swung down off the fire
escape and turned the corner. Another one of the fuku
wearing girls was standing there, looking at him as if
he were a lunch buffet.

  "Urk." Ranma felt a brief moment of panic. What had
those girls done to Ryouga that had caused him such
distress? Then something about the face clicked. "Akane?"

  "Ranma," Akane said with a cute smile, so happy to see
him that she giggled and did a quick twirl. "Do you like
the new school uniform? Isn't it pretty?"

  "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were Akane Tendo. My
mistake." Her hair was much longer, it couldn't be
Akane, could it?

  "Silly," Akane giggled again, holding her hand in
front of her mouth. She looked at Ranma and put her
hands behind her back, swinging one leg back and forth.
"I AM Akane Tendo."

  "Huh?!" Ranma's mind froze up. Was it a possession?
Another vengeful spirit doll or something?

  Akane briefly looked sad and demure. "Ranma, when you
left, I was so sad, so forlorn, so lonely without you."

  "Huh?" Ranma automatically started forward when he
saw tears (TEARS?!) making tracks down Akane's cheeks.
"Akane, do you feel OK?"

  As soon as Ranma moved within range, Akane glomped
him. Again Ranma's mind locked up, maybe it was on
Windows 95, but Akane acting like this seemed to freeze
up his operating system. 

  "Ranma, don't ever do that again." Akane seemed to
press even tighter against Ranma. "Don't ever leave me
again, Ranma."

  "A-kan-e. Can't...breathe...."

  "Oh my darling, how I've counted the hours, no,
the minutes since we've been parted."

  "P-le-as-e. Need. Air."

  "Ranma, if you must leave ever again, take me with
you, I promise not to be a burden! I beg you!"

   Ranma, now turning blue, only managed to make a
choking noise. Some distant part of his mind noted
that the hydraulic pressure on her glomp was approaching
the level of a trash compactor.

   "I know I'm more fragile than you, but you must take 
me with you!" Akane tightened a little more. "I...I can 
carry my own weight!"

   "urk." Ranma thought he felt his ribs groaning.
Everything was fading to black. If he could just 
get some air. That same distant part of his mind
had upgraded the pressure level to car crusher. His
shock over what Akane was saying was also causing 
him to remain off balance.

   "No, Ranma, I know what you're thinking." Akane 
looked up at him and noticed his coloration was off.
"Oh no! Ranma, you've gotten sick! I'll bet you haven't
eaten properly since you left!"

   "Don't worry, Akane," came a voice as another fuku
clad girl walked out of the alley.

   "Ukyou," Akane smiled brightly. "Together..."

   Ukyou nodded. "Together we can get him to my place
and nurse him back to health."

   Akane's smile turned a little predatory. Funny how
it matched the grin that Ukyou was wearing. "Between
the two of us, we can make sure we don't have to share
him with the rest of the girls."

   If Ranma had been conscious he would have been in
a similar state of panic to Ryouga. As it was, he was
quickly carried through the streets without much fuss
at all.
-----Commercial Break-----------
SCENE: The Cat Cafe. Interior. Shampoo is wearing her
 cheongsam.
SHAMPOO: "Aiyah, and welcome to Cat Cafe! We have
 authentic style Chinese cuisine, prepared in accordance
 with ancient recipes. No MSG, cat, or dog used in
 OUR recipes."
MOUSSE (offscreen): "QUACK!"
SHAMPOO: "Ask about our pressed duck special!"
MOUSSE (runs past camera towards the exit):"QUAAAAACK!"
SHAMPOO (gives evil smile briefly before going back to
 "Charming Hostess" mode.): "Heh. Lunch specials daily,
 and absolute best ramen in Nerima."
SCENE: changes to Shampoo standing in front of a map.
 There is a highlighted section marked Cat Cafe.
SHAMPOO: "Convenient for Furinkan students. Come by
 and say why Shampoo only choice for Ranma and get
 20% off YOUR lunch ramen."
SCENE: Shampoo on "bicycle of death".
SHAMPOO: "Reasonable delivery fees. Just no forget tip
 for pretty delivery girl."
SCENE: Shampoo chasing Ranma, she's using her bonbori.
VOICEOVER: "Cat Cafe, serving Nerima since 1993."
---End Commercial Break--------------------
  Tetsuo had to admit that Hide was one of the
most useful spells he knew. Not that he knew that many,
or that he was powerful enough to cast some of the ones
he'd heard about that sounded REALLY neat. 

  He also had to admit that when magical talent
had been passed out, he was somewhere between Pathetic
and Vaguely Competent. Knowing that, he concentrated
on the spells he was able to manage, and he practiced
the Hide spell quite a lot.

  In theory, it was quite simple. Form a pattern
of Spirit and Air, weave it with one's own chi, and 
feed it a trickle of your own strength. It didn't make
one invisible, but unless the caster did something to
draw attention to himself, people and animals tended
to ignore the caster as if he were just part of the 
background.

  Useless for a warrior, who intended to disturb
the environment, and therefore cancelled it out just by
planning an attack. For a spy or someone trying to 
survive, it was incredibly useful. Tetsuo Tsukiku,
recent transfer to Furinkan Senior High School, placed
himself emphatically in this last category.

  All it would take would be one more obento
lunch prepared by someone with no talent or training
for it and he'd be done for. It proved that good 
intentions were not, in and of themselves, sufficient
for some tasks. Cooking, bomb disposal, and heart
surgery were all, in Tetsuo's opinion, not
something you did without proper training.

  The news had leaked out, Tetsuo suspected 
Nabiki, that Tetsuo was living all by himself. That
he hadn't had a homecooked meal in months and was
trying to get by on his own.

  There had also been the photos. Again this was
most likely Nabiki, though "Gos-chan" was another 
possibility. Tetsuo was quite glad that the pictures of
Ryouga were outselling his own. He'd only seen a few
of these pictures, but the phrase "full noodle frontity"
seemed to cover the basics. Pictures from the guys'
showers, pictures of Ryouga in a furo, pictures of each
and every one of the remaining male students in the 
school (plus Ryouga of course, though Miss Hinako seemed
to have forgotten that Ryouga wasn't a student.)

  Seeing a set of cards being passed around by one 
group of girls, Tetsuo edged a little closer until he
could figure out what it was. When he did, he was able
to go from suspicion to confirmed on who was the one
responsible for his home being staked out.

  It was obviously Nabiki's work, Gos couldn't put
together anything nearly so professional looking. Nabs
had put together TRADING CARDS. Tetsuo retreated, 
thanking all the kami that he'd found a lorebook on
ninja spirit magic and had been able to learn the Hide
spell. Height, weight, probable financial income, 
hobbies, and other stats had been speculated on or 
compiled for quite a few males in the area.

  Tetsuo thought that when Hitoshi finally made a move
on Nabiki, that should cut down on Nabs' free time. He
wouldn't be at all unhappy to see Nabs spend less time
in the yakuza-style businesses.

  Looking back at the girls trading cards, Tetsuo 
shuddered. This was Bad, and Tetsuo figured he'd better 
warn the others. Now if he could just find Ryouga.

  Still, he'd like to get a copy himself, just to see
how he rated.
-----------------------
 Thousands of miles away, Herb of the Musk
Dynasty read a report given him by one of his spies,
crumpled it in his fist, and incinerated it with a
chi bolt.

 "Akunin."

 A shadow moved. "Not here, milord. He, ahem, has
a case of the craps."

 Herb sighed deeply, turned his eyes to the
heavens and silently asked "Why me?"

 After a moment of this he turned his attention
to the one still standing in the shadows. "Karashi,
isn't it?"(1)

 "Yes, milord."

 "Would you get your butt out here where I can
see you, you're not some damn ninja you know."

 Karashi shuffled forward slightly, revealing a
young man with a wiry build wearing outlander clothing.

 "I take it that everyone else..."

 "Yes, milord."

 "First this bit with Happosai," Herb looked 
again to the heavens. "He was supposed to be the 
'Instrument Of Our Divine Vengeance', wasn't he?"

 "Yes, milord," Karashi said, wondering if that
was meant to be a rhetorical question or not.

 Herb glared. "Then WHY does this report indicate
that he has instead become our 'Instrument Of Annoyance'
and failed to do much of anything to Saotome? The only
one he actually GOT in this plan that was on my list was
the DUCK-BOY!"

 "Uhm." Karashi was pretty sure that this one WAS
a rhetorical question, but nodded to indicate he was
paying attention.

 "On top of that we have our storage unit 
collapse and our dungeon got flooded with that 'Bishojo
Bride' water. It wasn't a problem then, no, because it
was the concentrate. Then we have a stroke of brilliance
from former-Commander Mabushi, to get all the fluid out
of there by using the new pumps. Which would have been
fine if the stuff wasn't almost a syrup in consistancy.
So this GENIUS decides to flood the place so that the
water is thin enough to pump through the filters.

 "How lovely that he then sent two squads of 
HIS OWN SOLDIERS into that area to position the hoses!"

 "Oh my," managed Karashi.

 "So, we've got THAT problem to deal with, the
damn virus going around, and the only one I've got to
send on a vital mission is YOU!"

 "A vital mission? Me, sir? Thankyouthankyou."

 Herb hit his head against the wall a couple of
times. It didn't help. The only agent he had to assist
him at the moment was his idiot cousin, the one who was
currently wearing an "Akira" T-shirt and ragged jeans.

 Maybe, realized Herb, maybe he would just have
to put everything on hold. He wasn't sure Karashi could
find the Chinese coast if you gave him a map and a 
compass. Sighing again, he gave Karashi his instructions
and waited for the idiot to leave.

 If nothing else, maybe it was time to further
prune the family tree.
------------------------------
   Ranma awoke, realizing three very important
things:
       a) each arm was handcuffed to an object.
       b) each object was a bed post.
       c) the bed he was in was NOT his futon.

This led, of course, to conclusion d.
       d) he was in Big Trouble.

   From the position of the sun, he'd guess that he
had been unconcious less than an hour. The door opened
and he saw Akane enter. This was not Akane's room, so
the immediate hope was that he was about to be
rescued. Then he saw that she was bringing in a tray
of food.

   Ranma watched in horror as Akane brought the food
closer.

   "I'm so glad you're awake, Ranma." Akane smiled. "I
made this meal, JUST FOR YOU."
      
   She sat down, preparing to feed him by hand. Ranma
prayed for a meteor strike, SOMETHING that would stop 
this nightmare.

   Akane smiled at Ranma. It was her turn to feed him,
then Ukyou would get her chance. Then Shampoo would be
called over. All three agreed that they would MAKE
Ranma choose. All three also agreed not to invite that
Harenchi woman or Kodachi over.

   Ranma would make his choice, and then she and Ranma
would marry. Akane smiled even more, her smile promising
many things to Ranma.

   Ranma just hoped at the moment that getting loose was
one of them.
----------------------


Karashi="mustard" in this case, an orig char relative of
 Herb. Heart of gold, strong as a dragon, not too smart.
Ranma 1/2 final draft
Happi Days #6: Fourth Week, Monday
  all char are (c) Takahashi Rumiko, with the exception
of Tetsuo, Ri Ku Straczynski, and extraneous other 
characters thrown in for just a few scenes. 
-----------------------------
 Hiroko smiled and fixed an extra box lunch.
This time she'd be able to give it to Ryouga-kun, she
knew that the lost boy needed plenty of food to keep
his energy up.

 She'd almost followed the recipe this time,
though it had seemed a little bland, so adding octopus
marinaded in a pepper sauce (to keep it from spoiling)
seemed a good touch. 

 "Ryouga-sama," Hiroko giggled. Cooking was so
much fun since the Becoming and she'd accepted the
changes. Besides, Nabiki's picture of Ryouga coming
out of the furo...

 Hiroko smiled as she added another piece of
octopus.
-----------------
 Ranma slipped out of the silk cords that had 
been used to tie him in place, sneaking slowly towards
the window like a ghost, careful not to awaken his 
guard.

 Akane murmurred something in her sleep from her
futon in front of the door.

 When Ranma's heartrate approached normal again,
he slowly opened the window. He was expecting the hand
dropping down on his shoulder, so sure he'd be found
out that when nothing of the sort occurred he was unsure
of himself briefly.

 Slipping away into the night, Ranma felt that
checking up on Ryouga's story was his first priority.
If it checked out, maybe he should go back to China.
-----------------
 Happosai slipped out of his lair, a hidden
panel in the roof of the Tendou Training Hall where
he'd hidden the mass of his silky darlings.

 The whisper of air around the incoming dagger
was sufficient for Happosai to dodge. An overcast night
with no lights on in the yard was perfect for sneakery,
but apparently it benefited others than Happosai.

 "Who's there," Happosai growled. A glimpse of
motion, too quick from concealing shadow to shadow. He
could only be sure of one thing. It was a woman who
was wearing black pants and a red Chinese shirt. The
conclusion was obvious.

 "So, Ranma, finally you find the courage to
face me." He hefted the super soaker in his hands. "You
have already doomed your friends and family. YOU are
personally responsible for the tragedy afflicting them
because you didn't face me when you should have."

 Silence was the only answer Happosai received.

 "Ranma, you can't fool me. Come and face me, you
coward, or I may have to do something really nasty."

 More silence. Happosai began to creep forward
as silently as he could. He thought that his opponent
should be right over there.

 "Really, Ranma, I expected more of you. If you
don't face me, do you know what I'm going to do? I've
got three tins of something called 'Golden Passion Dust'
ready to drop in the water supply. All I have to do is
turn one extra little valve, and the drug mixes with
the Nerima water supply. Believe me, this will make my
revenge with the Jusenkyo water seem gentle and 
refined by comparison.

 "My ONLY problem will be in deciding who to
ravage first." Happosai got to the shadow and realized
that Ranma wasn't there. Looking around, he reached the
peak of the roof and tried to figure out where his
opponent was. "Will I deflower sweet Akane first? Maybe
that best friend of yours, the okinomiyaki chef? I can
have Nabiki and charge her for the pleasure, hah! Maybe
even some of your formerly male friends, I glomped one
yesterday and she felt DELICIOUS."

 A movement alerted Happosai, the figure was
visible as movement leaping over him. "Game, set, and
match, Ranma!" Happosai triggered the flood of his last
supply of the cursed Jusenkyo spring water towards the
figure.

 The figure dodged, rolled, and stood as a porch
light came on, a bo staff clearly visible in her hands.

 "K-Kasumi?!?" Happosai's eyes bugged out, yes,
even more than normal. He stared unmoving as Kasumi
took a martial arts stance that clearly read "challenge"
to his trained eyes.

 Gravity, of course, was not suspended. <SPLASH!>
------------------
 "Where is that baka?"

 "It's ok, Akane. The poor boy just doesn't 
realize we've got his best interests at heart."

 "Ukyou, if he chooses YOU, I-I-I'll be happy
for you."

 "Sugar, you'd be completely miserable and you
know it. Same here. And if he chooses Shampoo we'll
both be miserable. If he chooses Kodachi..."

 "Killing him would be the only merciful thing
to do." Akane looked over at Ukyou, strange how the
two of them seemed to have deepened their friendship
since being affected by the curse. "Still, if we find 
him..."

 "We'd better find him," Ukyou drew her battle
spatula, "before those other girls do or there might
not be anything left of him."

 "I was just thinking about what happens if he
were to face Happosai before he knows about the water."
--------------------
 Ranma puzzled about something. Why had Master
Po give him this kettle? It was a 1/3 replica of the
"Unlocking Kettle" of the Musk Dynasty, and would 
supposedly only function one hundred times before the
magic ran out, but it was still extremely valuable.

 He wondered if Master Po had used some ancient
Chinese magic and had determined that it would be needed
in some future battle with Herb and the Musk Dynasty.
--------------------
 Hundreds of miles away, Master Po sneezed, then
went back to channel surfing. Odd that even with a
satellite dish that got hundreds of channels, he usually
ended up watching CNN Japan.
--------------------
Eighth week, Sunday
 "Heh, you girls look like you'd like to party!"
The tattooed man motioned his fellows forward, six guys
from outside Nerima looking for a little "fun."

 The women approached by these men were less
than enthusiastic about them or their approach.
Hiroko and Daisuki clung to each other and wailed in
terror.

 Tetsuo, the only guy on that side of the 
impending fight, only had one offensive spell, and that
would take a lot out of him. Still, he built up the 
power, as these women had stopped being nearly so pushy
and he owed them for that. Besides, this FELT right.

 "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!"

 Tetsuo glanced over to one of the walls and
blanched. The thugs, on the other hand, reacted with
a few drools and wolf whistles.

 Kasumi, dressed in a combination of a pantsuit
with hard leather armor, pointed from atop the wall at
the thugs. "Your perversions end here! Preying on 
the weak and defenseless, you deserve NO MERCY!"

 Koko-chan, dressed in a sailor fuku with 
armored shoulderpads, crossed her arms and glared. "For
your crimes against women, you shall be PUNISHED!"

 Nayami, still trying to balance on the wall,
didn't have a speech prepared. "SAME HERE!"

 "Shampoo really tired of uppity men like you.
Men who do this thing go really bad place."

 The leader of the thugs smiled, revealing a
few missing teeth. "And who are you little girlies
to teach MY men a lesson?" The other thugs smiled
and started discussing who got which girl first.

 Tetsuo seriously considered switching to his
Hide spell. 

 "WE are the Nerima Police Auxilary, Amazon
Division One! And You ARE UNDER ARREST!"

 <VRRRRT> Kasumi was suddenly holding her 
favorite battlestaff.

 <K-CHAK!> Koko-chan's three section staff
appeared.

 <CRACK!> Ri Ku held her huge sledgehammer
in her hands. 

 Shampoo's bonbori appeared in her hands and she
once again regretted that she didn't have a dramatic
sound effect for her weapons.

 These were, of course, typical low level thugs
who immediately failed a wisdom check upon seeing these
women produce weapons out of nowhere. Instead of doing
something halfway sensible like running or surrendering,
they attacked.

 At one point during the battle, Tetsuo used his
single offensive spell when the leader attempted to go
after the cowering Momoko. The "Chi Bolt" knocked the
leader down long enough for Kasumi to slam the end of
her quarterstaff into said leader's manhood. Said leader
would be singing soprano for several weeks.

 Unfortunately, Tetsuo Tsukiku was about as
powerful a wizard as he had feared, and collapsed from
the energy needed to cast that spell. The results were
quite predictable, save to say that he really wished he
had enough energy left that could cast that Hide spell.

 Kasumi had to finish this up quickly, though,
she had a wedding to attend.
------------------------
 "She makes such a beautiful bride," said Ukyou,
dabbing tears away from her eyes as she turned from the
two at the altar to Ranma.

 "Yes, she does," agreed Akane, smirking slightly
before resting her head against Ranma's shoulder.

 Cologne smirked. Her newest pupil had done her
so proud by tricking Happosai and the results had been
quite rewarding. Finding that "Love Potion" had been
equally wonderful.

 Happosai pushed back her veil so that she
could gaze lovingly upon her husband.

 "You may now kiss the bride," the minister,
who was clueless about the nature of the bride, said.

 Mikado Sanzennin obliged, finally kissing his
1000th girl. Nobody had told him yet. They'd probably
wait until AFTER the Honeymoon.
--------------------
New Years Eve, Fifth Month:
"Dear Honored Mother, Father, family:

 "As this is usually a time for reflections,
I'm writing this down. It has truly been a strange
year and I'm appending some additional files on the
events, particularly the events known as the 'Bishojo
Bride' incidents.

 "Happosai is happily married to Mikado 
Sanzennin, and the couple are expecting their first
child in another six months. Happosai got quite drunk
after Kasumi tricked him into splashing himself with
his own cursed springwater, with the result that the
mental contamination occurred very quickly.

 "So many of the Nerima citizens have become
almost 'Stepford Wives' versions of themselves that
the traditional 'feminine arts' have become a major
business here. Note that strong feelings and beliefs
were unaffected by what is referred to as the Becoming
by many of the Cursed. Almost everything else was 
subject to change.

 "Reaction to the situation in Nerima is mixed.
Many feel that Nerima itself is cursed and avoid it as
if it were a plague colony. Others come to gawk at the
women and overall change in the atmosphere. Still others
feel that the area has become an easy target for 
violence and all sorts of mayhem.

 "The official breakdown of the Cursed, as last
determined by one of the local news agencies, is that 
there are 1,412 Cursed individuals in Nerima. Support
groups for people with curses have confirmed that the
actual number is slightly higher.

 "Of these people, 64 have curses not related
to Jusenkyo. 1,301 are confirmed victims of Happosai's
little rampage. 47 have Jusenkyo curses who have come
here since the news broke about Happosai's little
escapade. Being around other people who share your
problem, or at least understand it, has drawn that
group. 

 "Of the 1,301 that were affected by Happosai,
there is a further breakdown. 187 of these individuals
were hit with the waters from the 'Spring Of Drowned
Amazon Warrior.' Martial arts supplies and dojos can
be found very easily in some parts of Nerima. There 
are a further 374 Cursed who show NO attitudinal change,
and the working theory is that they were simply hit
with Nyannichuan or 'Spring Of Drowned Girl.' There
are another 14 who weren't human to begin with, as
apparently Happosai visited the zoo at one point.
These last have some qualities of their former animal
selves, but largely appear to be human women. These
are all currently learning how to be human. This leads
to 726 who WERE hit with the 'Bishojo Bride' water who
were human. Figure roughly half used to be of the male
persuasion.

 "Furinkan High School was the worst affected.
The male/female ratio is now 1/80 with a few packs of
amazons and guys who have never mentally transformed.
In the case of these three springs, the amount of 
mixing of the curses appears to be minimal.

 "Due to the false perception that Nerima is
easy pickings for the violent, and that there are now
a large number of provisional amazons here, two more
changes of note. Nerima is now a sister-city (a very
appropriate term, don't you think?) to the Amazon 
Village, and there's several amazons in the Police 
Department now. Also Furinkan has been kicking serious
butt in the high school athletics programs.

 "Ranma Saotome returned almost exactly one
month after he left. He brought with him a device 
similar to the 'Unlocking Kettle' of the Musk Dynasty.
He was able to use this until the magic ran out, and
one hundred of those with the 'Bishojo Bride' curse
now have normal lives and personalities until they are
splashed with cold water, then the other personality and
form become dominant. Most are coping with the change
with a certain Japanese stoicism.

 "Medical studies are being conducted, with the
reports being released simultaneously in the American
'JAMA' and the British 'Lancet' on the short and long
term effects of the Curse.

 "Most of the world goes on as it has for years,
without particularly noticing or caring what happens to
a small group of people in a suburb of Tokyo.

 "Oh yes. There have been a swarm of marriages
here within the past few months. My immediate superior
Kasumi Tendo married one of the Cursed who can switch,
a Doctor Tofu Ono. Akane Tendo married Ranma Saotome,
though the betting was almost even that he would marry
a girl named Ukyou Kuonji. Nabiki Tendo married this
guy named Hitoshi Lawrence, a Japanese-American 
photojournalist who came here to do the 'Girls Of 
Nerima' book. Nabiki's also got a manga deal going 
dealing with the adventures of her sister. As I'm in
Kasumi's squad, I'm hoping for at least cameo scenes.

 "All for now. Hope all of you are doing well.
As for this job I've got with the local Police 
Department's Amazon Auxilary, it's a decent wage and
I get to pummel evildoers, so it's a good job. I'm
including a videotape that was made of one of our
fights that occured in an office building with closed
circuit TVs. Everyone loved it until Cologne (she's our
Elder/teacher within the Amazon rankings) saw the tape
and started reaming us all out for various mistakes that
we made. She's now talking about a training program that
sounds a bit like Marine boot camp, ie 'being treated
like a boot.' 

Respectfully,


Nayami/Ri Ku Straczynski, Junior Officer Nerima PD"
 --------------------------------------------
EPILOGUE 1:
 A woman runs from rooftop to rooftop, carrying
a large sack. "Wotta haul, wotta haul."

 Another young woman runs along behind. "Wait,
master Happosai," <pant, pant> "wait for Nobu-chan!"
------------
 Ranma looks through the dresser drawers and
turns puzzled to his wife. "Akane, do you have any
idea where all my underwear went?"
====================================================
Happi Days 0 file

=========Notes from a demented hack writer
for anyone who wants to use the mechanics.

some questions have been sent to me regarding the
  mechanics, and here's the answers, as i see em.
the Jusenkyo curses work on templates. ie, anything
real can be described as a set of parameters, for
example:
 <human><male><age:39><caucasian><hair color/length/othr>
<anime fan><health level:poor><str dex con int wis cha> 
and on and on and on with a number of subcategories.
for example: in health lungs scarred, migraines, sinus
problems, arthritis, etc. 

   a Jusenkyo curse resets specific values when in the
cursed form. "Bishojo Bride" would have the following
overide template:
 <human><female><age:17><hair length:1.5m, straight>
<health level:good+><str-1 dex+1 cha+2><gender identity: 
heterosexual female><value template:old fashioned girl>
<overall appearance: beautiful><libido:high, controlled>
NOTE: this is what most of the curse victims have been
 hit with. Note that strongly held beliefs, feelings,etc
 have the effect of a rock in the stream of changed 
 conciousness, the stream going around those without
 changing them. Nabiki's love of profit, for example.

    some characters have been hit by "Amazon Warrior"
water. Kasumi for one. The template for this would read
something like:
 <human><female><health level:excellent+><str+1 dex+2
con+2 cha+1><value template: Chinese Amazon><overall
appearance: tough but cute><libido:medium+><Fighting
skills improvement pleasure feedback/self image loop>

TIMELINE: (of parts written so far):
             TENTATIVE
-3 days: Yohko Harenchi is notified by Nabiki Tendo of
  Ranma's whereabouts and of his curse. Yohko pays 
  Nabiki for this info.
-2 days: Yohko attacks Ranma, Mousse drugs Ranma, Ranma
  leaves Friday evening under the influence of Passionate
  Spice.
1st day: Monday. Happosai rigs the school sprinkler
  system before classes start. Second period the cursed
  Bishojo Bride water hits. Happosai goes on a watergun
  rampage in Nerima.
Day 2: Tuesday. Happosai still blasting people, and is
  sought by a number of people for his attacks. Students
  trying to come to terms with the transformation.
Day 3: Wednesday. First obvious cases of mental 
  contamination/transformation begin to occur.
Day 4: Thursday. Gosunkugi tries out an anti-curse
  potion that actually accelerates the mental 
  transformation. Tsubasa tries to commit suicide.
Day 5: Friday. Discovery that getting drunk, using
  sedatives, etc accelerates mental contamination.

Week 2, Day:1 Happi Days 3

Week 2, Day:5 Kasumi gets hit with "Spring Of Drowned
  Amazon Warrior" water. Akane gets a manicure and
  starts planning what to do with Ranma when she gets
  him alone. violence is not on the agenda.
  Happi Days 4a: Tofu's Chart Notes
  Happi Days 4b: Nabiki's Sidestory

Week 2, Day:6 Tetsuo starts planning out a possible
  cure for Ranma's curse based on observations of the
  curse mechanics he can see.

Week 3, Day:1 Ucchan's Story (Happi Days 4c)
  suggested time frame for other sidestories as this
  is the period where if someone is going to psychogically
  change, this is most likely.

Week 4, Day:1  Ranma Returns to Nerima

At the end of this story, Akane has married Ranma.
There will be a sequel of sorts dealing with Ri Ku while
the main Ranma cast won't feature terribly much in it.
(Leaving it open for SKJAM's sequel to the main story.)