Hoi,

C&C is more than welcome.

Ask and ye shall recieve... put you pay the shipping and handeling

A few even clapped.  Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed one >man 

that had been sleeping the entire time near the back, a sword in >his 
lap.  The man's broad-brimmed straw hat covered his face.

   "You there!" the boasting man called out, weaving around seats to
prod the sleeping passenger with the butt of his saya.  The man 

stirred slightly before settling back to sleep again.
The man frowned.  How dare a commoner ignore him, and even have the 
audacity to carry a sword!
"Impudent peasant!  When a warrior speaks, one should listen," the 
self-centered swordsman shouted.

Your right about the audacity of carring a sword.  Any pesant caught 
with a Katana, who is not a retainer or servent of a samurai, was 
instantly killed on the spot.  There were few greater crimes.  The 
samurai would not have cared about being ignored, he would fight Jubei 
for having a sword.  Funny that Jubei (who is not a samurai, but a 
ninja) uses a katana and not a ninja-to

The strange man shrugged and turned to look over the expansive lake. 

The other swordsman noticed the sword in his hand.

"You carry a sword," the armored swordsman spat in an offended 
voice.  "How is it a peasant like you could come to carry a blade?"
"It's mine," was the nonchalant reply.  "It's been in my family for 
quite some time."
   "Do you even know how to use such a weapon?"
   "I guess I do," the stranger said with a small smile.  "I'm still 

alive, ne."

Too much talking, while you have Jubei's reactions and manerisms 
correct, the other samurai would just attemp to strike him down.  Now 
its true that there are Ronin (non-samurai) that carry a sword, if they 
don't have a reputation and are known for their honor or glory, most 
samurai will strike them down on the spot... again most do not carry a 
Katana.

   "I am the undisputed champion of this province.  I could show >you 

a thing or two about that blade you carry," the boastful >swordsman 
said.  

"I'm willing to wager you don't even know how to use that thing >you 
have in your hand."
"That's fine," the man said, brushing off his simple brown keikogi 
and settling back into the seat for another nap.  The other >swordsman 

Still too much talking, although Jubeis attitude is correct.

kicked his leg out from under him.
   "Rude bastard!  I'm challenging you to fight me, though you 
certainly aren't worth the effort."
   The quiet swordsman simply blinked slowly, his face expressionless.
   "What school do you practice?" he asked.
   "I am the very founder of the Taikosetsu-ryu!" the man boasted.
   The man in brown simply nodded.
   "And you, peasant?  What base form of battou-jutsu do you presume 

to 

know?"
   A moment of silence lapsed.
   "The School of No Sword," the man replied with a smile.
   "The School of No Sword?" the proud samurai asked.
   The man nodded quietly.
   "Very well then.  We'll see just how good your school is!" the 
samurai said, making to draw his swords.

This is a little wronge.  Duels were simply a 1 cut affair.  When using 
a katana thats all it takes.   Both samurai stood a few feet apart and 
stuck at the same time.  There was 1 draw and 1 cut.  Someone died and 
someone lived.  They were that simple.  It was an honorable death, if 
you lost.

"Come now!  Come forward and fight, peasant!" he called back to the 
boat.
"The man in the simple clothes walked over to the edge of the boat 
and yawned.  He handed over his sword to the nearest oarsman who 
simply blinked in confusion.  Before the samurai on shore would >react, 

the man in brown took an oar and gave the boat a strong push >off, 
sending the boat back out into the deeper waters.  The oarsmen >laughed 
and paddled onwards as the women quietly smiled amongst >themselves.

While I found this funny, it was a little incorrect.  I can see the 
fight where Jubei udderly defeats his opponent, destoying both is armor 
and swords, but not killing him.  To loose in a duel and not die, was 
disgraceful.  I can see this as seamingly proper punishment that Jubei 
would dish out.

"That is my school of No Sword," the man in brown called over his 

shoulder with a smile.

The shouting of the samurai stranded on the island died in the 
gentle breeze as they paddled back on course.  The triumphant 
swordsman settled back into his seat, a well-dressed womanly timidly 
offering him shade with her umbrella.  He smiled his thanks and 
settled back into his seat for a nap.  The rest of the ride passed 
without incident.

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Over all it was a very good read.  I enjoyed it and I thought you 
caputured Jubei's calmness and clarity perfectly.  


***    Knife Sharpens on Stone... Man Sharpens on Man     ***
***    - Tao                                              ***

Jayden Stormwalker


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