A Very Scary Bet, Rough
part 3a: My Woman From Ni-Chie-Ju?!?!
by greggsharp, metroanime@mindspring.com
http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com
   various people own the various char. no
trademark infringement is intended.
    much thanks for my pre-readers who have
helped enormously.
    this is written for enjoyment, distributed for
others to enjoy, and should not be confused
for even a picosecond as Great Literature. i sure
don't. just try to have fun folks. Great Meanings
i leave to others, though i would appreciate
feedback as to what parts people like, and whether
i should include commercials...
----------------------------------------------------
 "Beryl."

 Queen Beryl, Dark Mistress of a Dark
Kingdom, flinched. "Metallica?"

 "I am not amused, Beryl."

 "But I..."

 "Things have progressed beyond
where I can trust you to resolve them on your
own." The voice sounded irritated. "Your
generals might be able to handle it, if it were
just the Inner Senshi. However, there is a
gathering storm that threatens to rend the
darkness."

 "Tell me, great Metallica! Tell me,
and I shall..." Beryl stopped, feeling a telekinetic
pinch of her windpipe. Not enough to permanently
close that tube, but enough to remind Beryl of her
place in this chain of command.

 She was not at the top rung. She was
just the highest rung that would normally be
visible to casual scrutiny.

 "Step aside for the moment, O foolish
Queen. Rather than let the allies gather, one of my
own colleagues has come up with...an idea."

 "Yes, great Metallica."

 "Ready your forces and attack here."
A vision of a high school appeared. "You will
be going after an area and an opponent quite
different from your ancient enemy, the Senshi."

 "But, Great One!" Beryl stopped as
she felt Metallica's gaze sweep over her. "Yes,
Great One. Where is this place?"

 "It is in London. There is a suitable
weak point between dimensions for you to
access it. Your forces will dispatch and end
the threat of another of this world's
defenders.

 "Do not worry about the Senshi.
One of my colleagues will send one of his
own generals to deal with them."

 Beryl was briefly glad none of her
subordinates were nearby. It would be a pain
to recruit and break in new ones.
----------------------------------------------------
 Class stopped abruptly with the
sound of splashing water, and Kuno's voice
crying out "Pony Tailed Girl!"

 "Excuse please, teacher."
Shampoo stood and glared towards the
doorway. "This something Shampoo needs
to take care of RIGHT NOW."

 "What could possibly be so
important, Miss Shampoo, that you would
further disrupt class?"

 Shampoo sighed as the sound of
some woman screaming faded into the distance
with the occasional broken prose fragment
indicating Kuno's pursuit. She was reluctant
to speak, but figured that when everyone
understood the danger, they'd step back.

 "Some time ago, Kuno, Shampoo,
Ranma, boy name Ryouga, and traveler name
Doctor go many places. Kuno pull trick on Ranma
one time, use device make Ranma act strange if use
right 'trigger'."

 "Some sort of hypnosis," mused the
teacher. "Hypnotic triggers?"

 "Yes. That word Doctor use. Is very
like. Airen learn how to do...things...under hyp-no-
sis. Very dangerous. Get him engaged once already."

 "Engaged?" Akane and Ukyou managed
to say in unison. Vanilla merely shook her head.

 Shampoo nodded. "Is tragic terrible
story. Girl try to kiss Ranma to see what like. Reflexes
take over, taught by machine. He kiss back. Very
terrible. He no can help, usually very unhappy
when hyp-not-ic tri-gger let go." Shampoo frowned
as she realized anew that she'd relied way too much
on the TARDIS' translation effect.

 "He's a terrible kisser?" Akane shrugged.
"Big deal."

 "No," Shampoo said solemnly. "Is
terrible because of how good airen is at kissing."
She didn't want to say this in front of everyone,
but pride in her airen kept her talking. (1)

 "Oh...really?" Ukyou almost purred,
speculating. She failed to notice the same look
of speculation in more than one classmate's face.

 Yuka and Sayuri pulled out the booklets
that Nabiki had sold them that morning about the
complete hunk they'd seen earlier. Since the school
had also witnessed Akane turning into a rhino, and
the hunk turning into a girl, they had no reason to
doubt the accuracy of the less fantastic sections.

 "He promise Shampoo be very next
one he kiss, though Shampoo see what happen
to last girl and think maybe even Shampoo not
ready for that."
---------------------------
 Ranko masked her presence as best
she was able, running from the hentai who kept
trying to grope her.

 Stupid boy. Even after the curse
had been explained and demonstrated right in
front of him, he still didn't get it.

 "Pony tailed girl! Where are you,
my love?"

 Ranko waited as the samurai passed
beneath the ceiling panel. She was also distressed
by getting her clothes all dusty.

 "This really sucks," Ranko muttered
under her breath.
---------------------------
 "This really sucks." Well, that was what
Ryouga had thought. What came out was merely a
distressed sounding "Piiiiiika."

 He'd found the Amazon village and found
something truly amazing out. His cursed form had some
sort of inertial compass ability. He KNEW which way
was North. He KNEW where the nearest electrical
line was. He KNEW where the Guide had kept his
batteries (the tall cabinet by the door.)

 "<Ohhhhhhh. How cute!>"

 Ryouga scampered back as he saw
a vision of loveliness step before him. His little
yellow jaw dropped.

 "<What is it, Sash?>" Another woman
came into Ryouga's view. This one was at least as
breathtaking as the first one.

 "<Look, it's a little yellow Mokona!>"

 The second girl looked Ryouga over
with a slight frown. "<Isn't that the little white
critter in those Japanese comic books you get?
It looks kinda stupid to me.>"

 "No," Sash switched to Japanese as
this just seemed appropriate since it was a scene
right out of one of her beloved Japanese manga.
They were hard to get, but Sash had discovered
a mail order service. "This is DESTINY!"

 "<It kinda looks like a rodent. Or maybe
a koala with Hepatitis.>"

 "No, Lufa, this is MY DESTINY! All
those Japanese comic books were actually to prepare
me for my mission in life!" Sash put one foot up on
a convenient rock in order to pose just like various
characters in those same stories. Her eyes shone
as she pictured the glorious possibilities ahead of
her.

 "<Probably got a lot of fat on it. Wouldn't
even taste good.>"

 "Soon, I'll be granted the ability to transform
into some Magical Princess by some item of power my
advising mascot character will give me. Just like RAYEARTH!
Then I can defend the Amazon way of life from evil Musk
warriors and remnants of some demonic civilization."

 Lufa looked thoughtful. "<I got downwind of
some Musk warriors once. I agree that they SMELLED
positively demonic.>"

 "Hah!" Sash went over to pick up the startled
looking animal. "You just watch me!"

 As he felt the woman's hands close around
him, Ryouga panicked. He felt his body react by doing
SOMETHING.

 "Ai-ai-ai-aiyaaaaaaaa," Sash managed as
1,200 volts went through her body.

 "<What do you know, it IS a magic critter. It's
not supposed to do that though, is it?>" Lufa looked
down at her nice but slightly weird and currently smouldering
friend. "<Would it spoil this moment for you, if I put out that
patch of hair which is on fire?>"

 Ryouga ran from the scene, mentally apologizing
to girl with the lightly charred brown hair.
------------------------------------------
 Moe and Larry had been joined by their brother
Curly after Curly had finished putting his globular casing
together and retracting his servo-arms.

 Curly being of somewhat higher intelligence than
a toaster oven, had immediately determined that the woman
watching this display was not a threat to his programmed
objectives. The phrase "oh, he's so cute" was duly noted
and determined not to be a command for further tasks to be
accomplished.

 That had left assisting Moe and Larrye as tasks
in the little workbot's list of assignments. A brief line of
transmission indicated that the two other workbots were in the
process of building the underground hangar and access
tunnel.

 Sending a brief acknowledgment signal, Curly
had quickly begun using lasers to heat and fuse the rocks
and dirt into an outer wall.
------------------------------------------
 Ranko got to the bathroom, ran the hot water,
then Ranma realized  he was in the GIRL'S bathroom. He
did the natural thing and fled.

 Of course, by now he was late for his next class.

 Tatewaki Kuno saw him and ran forward with his
bucket.

 Ranma decided to be pro-active. A flying circle
kick knocked the samurai out, but water splashed everywhere
again.

 Ranko returned to the restroom in search of hot water.
------------------------
 The Machine Club (formerly the Chem Club until a fair
amount of money crossed hands) prepared to commit their evil
deeds.

 Not that they thought that there was anything
particularly bad involved. Etchi, yes. Bizarre, definitely. Dishonest,
certainly. But in their quest for Akane Tendo and Ukyou Kuonji
(and maybe those two cute foreign students) no sacrifice was too
great or mecha too complicated!

 The Photography Club (in an arrangement by one
Nabiki Tendo) had already sold them wall poster sized photographs
of the various girls. Unlike the other various purchasers, these had
various tags attached to them.

 Each had their name and homeroom displayed at the
bottom. A largely blank sheet to the left noted their weak points.
A more complete form to the right listed their observed skills.

 Each member planned on assisting (for large sums of
money) Tatewaki Kuno in his quest by building powerful mecha
to capture one or more of the girls in question.

 What they planned on doing afterwards was eliminating
Tatewaki Kuno and going ahead with their own agenda, of course.

 They were villains, after all. Betrayal and hidden agendas
were part of the territory.

 For what came afterwards, each had their own little plans.
Akira Fumiya even planned on going after the woman who'd sold
them their "So You Want To Be A Mad Scientist Villain?" handbook.

 The large stack of hentai manga and lemon tapes were
(ahem) research of course.

 Not that their first design worked all that well, but
they already had new designs ready to go!

 Akira gave a maniacal laugh, picturing what he would
do to a helpless Akane Tendo.

 This got him hit by an eraser thrown by his teacher,
as he hadn't exactly been paying attention to the class he was
currently in.
-------------------------
 Sasuke sighed and began the laborious task of
cleaning the old domicile. Working for the Kuno family, well,
it was often interesting, you could say that.

 Tatewaki Kuno, the young Master, had come home
one day ranting and raving about many truly strange and wondrous
things. Well, he'd always been a bit eccentric.

 The strange thing had been that young Tate-kun
had acted a bit different thereafter. Where he had delighted in
samurai epics and been entranced by them, he now savagely
ripped them apart for inaccuracies and details missed.

 Before, his view had been that he was born a
samurai and therefore pedestrian concerns were beneath him.
Kendo, the matches and tournaments that he excelled at,
seemed to bore him. Instead, he added Art to his portfolio
and actually seemed to have some talent.

 Before, technology had been one of those
pedestrian concerns. Now...

 The Furinkan Chem Club was ONE source, but
Sasuke had observed that they weren't quite as effective as
one would hope. That brought him to the current spread of
magazines that he had gathered.

 Tokyo Beat. Popular Mecha. The Mishima Heavy
Industries Military catalog. Daitokuji Electronics Spring
catalog. The Army Surplus store flyer. A flyer for some
place called Spells R Us. A place called "The Cursed
Antique Shop" over on Osoroshiisa Street.

 Any of these might have what the young
Master required to gain victory in his current endeavors.
Sasuke looked at the clock, decided he still had an hour
before the young Master would show up, and picked one
at random to investigate.
-------------------------
 "Saotome-kun, you should join our Kempo Klub!"

 "Saotome-san! For the pride of our school, join
the Science Club!"

 <Splash!> "Saotome-chan! You could be a big
help to us if you join the Cooking Club!"

 Ranma directed a glare towards Nabiki, knowing
who was selling the little dossiers with the glossy photos
and vital statistics.

 "Shampoo-chan! Vanilla-chan!"

 Hot water splashed into Ranko, who again
became Ranma. He gave a grateful glance to Shampoo.

 "Airen. You promise you kiss Shampoo.
Before stupid stickboy catch you, you should make good
on your promise!" Shampoo looked quite nervous. Not
that she wouldn't face the most fearsome foe, or back down
before an opponent. However, this was airen, the airen she
had hurt so terribly while under the Master's mind control
that he had spent an entire week in the nutrient bath of the
healing chamber. What if...what if he couldn't...

 Ukyou wondered what had happened to Shampoo.
Stepping close to the Amazon, she spoke just loud enough
for the other girl to hear. "Hey girl, what's wrong? You remember
when we shared blood and salt back in China before we came
over to Japan? You're my blood-sister, remember, talk to me."

 Shampoo nodded and realized she was trembling.
"Talk to Ukyou later."

 "I don't know about this, Shampoo." Ranma eyed
the crowd now surrounding them, waiting to see the (scandalous)
display of public affection.

 A number of the crowd were arguing with a lot of
the other members of the crowd. It seemed like half the boys
didn't want Shampoo's lips to be claimed, while the other half
wanted to see this special technique demonstrated so they
could find some girl later on in the interest of "practicing."

 Vanilla watched without blinking, curious as to how
this would develop.

 Akane idly popped her knuckles. "What's the big
deal? A kiss is just a kiss. A sigh is just a sigh." She blushed
a little as she considered Ken and wondered what it would be
like to kiss a real man like him.

 Nabiki, never one to spend productive time idly
gawking, started taking bets as to whether or not Ranma would
kiss Shampoo or if something would interrupt.

 Shampoo watched Ranma as he was glancing
nervously about and decided to take matters in her own hands.
Slipping her arms around him, she drew him in for a kiss.

 Ukyou watched as Ranma's startled expression
gave way to something else and she remembered the talk
about "programmed responses" and the like. Ranma drew
Shampoo in the rest of the way and gave a tentative brush of
the lips followed by a firm passionate kiss.

 Shampoo squeaked and the squeak gave way
to a broken moan that could be heard quite clearly through
the liplock. Ukyou could see how flushed the Amazon was
getting and the way the girl's limbs began twitching. For
long moments they held that pose. Finally, they parted and
Shampoo slid to the ground like a marionette whose strings
had been cut. Her eyes were wide and unseeing
and the grin on her face spoke volumes.

 The watching crowd went from stunned silence
to rapid speculation.

 "Aaaaah. No! Shampoo, I'm sorry! I didn't mean
to! It...I...Aaaaaah!" Ranma's arms were waving around, he
was shaking his head, and looked ready to bolt at any moment.
"I just _knew_ this was gonna happen..."

 Nabiki briefly inspected Shampoo, nodded once,
then went to settle bets. "Rain, Clouds, AND Fireworks,
Ranma-kun, I'm impressed."

 Ranma bolted.

 "Kuonji-san, your assistance." Vanilla went to
Shampoo and lifted her arms.

 "Call me Ukyou, Vanilla." Ukyou lifted Shampoo's
legs and noticed something. "Oh my."

 "Something wrong?" The usual cool indifference
was showing on Vanilla's face.

 Ukyou decided that she could NOT explain this
to the other Amazon. "Let's just get her home before anything
else goes wrong. She'd die of embarrassment if I explained." (2)

 The three had gone perhaps a block before Vanilla
glanced down at her fellow Amazon and began speculating.
Shampoo's grin was still in place and she still showed every
sign of being limp and unresisting.

 Vanilla began to speculate on this "kissing" thing.
As she was a fiancee of Ranma (she even had her membership
card), was she not also entitled to such a thing?

 Ukyou was already working out scenarios. (3)

 Unfortunately, so was fully half of the female
population of Furinkan High School and two spies that
had watched the whole thing.
-------------------------------------------------------------
(1)- Since some readers didn't get it: the label of
                  "Advanced Marital Arts Techniques" that Kuno
                  thought was a typo, WAS spelled correctly.
(2)- Not going to tell you if you can't figure it out.
                   If i did, i'd have to put a Lime warning up at least.
(3)- No i'm not planning on writing a lemon sidestory
 to this.

A Very Scary Bet, Rough version
part 3b: My Woman From Ni-Chie-Ju?!?!
by greggsharp, metroanime@mindspring.com
http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com
various people own the various char. no
trademark infringement is intended.
this is written for enjoyment, distributed for
others to enjoy, and should not be confused
for even a picosecond as Great Literature.
-------------------^_^----------------------------
 "We're on TV again?"

 "Face it, Usagi, it was only a
matter of time before SOMEONE got
pictures of the Senshi at work," Ami
sat back and watched her computer
continue to crunch the data.

 "What the heck was that
anyway? Could it be Jadeite has returned?"
Makoto played absently with something in
her hands. "Or is this a new menace?"

 "Did you mean the youma or
the flying oversized recreational vehicle,"
Rei drummed her fingers against the table.
"I still don't trust this guy."

 "Well..." Ami and Makoto began.

 "You're right, Rei! This might be
another Dark Kingdom trick!" Luna nodded,
then paused when she noticed the dark
expressions on two faces.

 "I don't think so. There was no
indication of anything other than a high
technology level on my sensors," Ami
said after a moment. "I... Makoto-san!"

 "Huh. What is it, Ami?"

 Ami hesitated, then pulled a
card similar to the one in Makoto's hands
out of a book.

 Makoto blinked. "No way. You
too?"

 "What? What? What?" Usagi
looked from one card to the other rapidly.

 "What the? 'Iinazuke No Ranma
Official Membership Card'?" Minako's eyes
went wide. "What kind of club is this?"

 "It was years ago," said Makoto
with a sigh. "I first met my sempai, Ranma
Saotome..."
--insert wavy lined flashback effect here--------------
 "Ahhhh-ta!" The little boy
flipped and leapt about, seeming to defy
gravity as he went.

 "A-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!" One of the
boy's opponents threw playing cards that
embedded themselves in an arc on the tree
where the boy had been a moment ago.

 Makoto Kino stood next to
her father and marvelled at the intricate
dance taking place between three girls and
a boy. Another two girls were busy with
the okonomiyaki cart and deftly serving up
one okonomiyaki after another with nearly
as much flash as the martial arts demonstration
managed.

 The card thrower flipped back and
beamed at the audience. "Saotome School of
the Anything Goes Style of Indiscriminate
Grappling. Sample lessons cheap."

 "Daddy?" Makoto looked up at her
father, newly fascinated by this martial arts stuff.
She wondered if she could ever move that easily,
as if gravity and inertia were concerns for lesser
beings.

 Makoto's father grimaced, having already
lost a bit of money on the shell game that the
short haired girl had been running.

 The short haired girl noticed and winked.
"For you, since you've been such a good sport, I'll
throw in a discount for your daughter!"
--------------end---flashback----------------
 "...and so I went there for almost three
months until they moved again." Makoto sighed,
a faraway look in her eyes.

 "THAT'S IT!" Ami pounced, thankfully
not in a literal fashion, on Makoto. "The pink and
green jumpsuit!"

 There were a few shudders at that color
combination, and Makoto looked embarrassed. "Yes,
well, it wasn't MY choice. Waitaminute. Ami? You?"

 Ami looked strangely satisfied. "The
one with too much starch in her gi."

 "Aaaahh!?" An eerie chorus from
three humans and two cats.

 "Ami, you too?" Makoto tried but
couldn't remember the other students well at all.

 "Almost exactly the same circumstances,"
Ami said with a nod. "The boy was kind and gentle,
and quite obviously not the one in charge. If anything,
it was...Nabiki. That was her name. Nabiki Tendo."

 "Nabiki Tendo, eh?" Rei glanced around
the table. "Well, that at least gives me something I
can do a fire reading on."

 "So, as interesting as..." Luna stopped her
eyes widening as she read the kanji on Makoto's little
red and black card, hearing the words from earlier echo
in the room. "Wait. 'Saotome final technique?' 'Ranma
Saotome?' That boy?"

 "You're fiancees to a guy who flies around
in a heavily armed recreational vehicle?" Minako
stared at the card in Makoto's hands. "Oh, well, you
know what they say. 'It's an ill wind that blows well.'"

 Artemis picked himself up from a feline
facefault. "That's 'it's an ill wind that blows no good.'"

 Ami's fingers flew across her keyboard and
she was thankful for the typing course she'd taken. One
computer search after another flew out across the web.
Searches for a Ranma Saotome came up blank, but a link
to school registries DID give the location of one Nabiki
Tendo at Furinkan SHS. She'd contact Makoto after the
meeting and the two of them could check it out in a few
days. It was still a bit of a longshot, Tendo was not that
uncommon a name.

 "Whatever. These membership cards give
Ami and Makoto the perfect cover to go investigate
this guy and find out if he works for the Dark Kingdom
or not." Minako smirked, hoping to tag along. The
Senshi of Love had a mission.

 "Waitaminute," Ami stopped the meeting's
dispersal by holding up a hand. "My earlier search
routine for Ranma Saotome pulled up a hunter."

 "He's a sportsman?" Minako shrugged,
must mean he had money.

 "No, a search in the International Databases
flagged some security measure and it attempted to trace
the link. Hang on." Ami's hands flew across the keyboard
for a few minutes. "Hmmmm."

 "Yes?!" Luna, Usagi, and Minako all but
shouted.

 "British based agency known as UNIT,
they're based in England but officially part of the
United Nations. They fill the same role as the FBI's
X-files group does in the US." Ami continued to
type, directing her supercomputer to evade the
hunter by laying out a false trail that led to the
Saint Hebereke computer room. Considering that
the hackers club of Saint Hebereke School For
Girls was known as harmless pranksters, this
ought to deflect a few suspicions.

 "What do they do?" Usagi asked when it
became apparent no one else would.

 "Men in Black." Rei said, mysteriously.

 "Oh!" Usagi nodded. "Alien busters.
That explains the ship."

 "We'll have to see, won't we?"
---------------------------------------------
 "Ranma? Big brother?"

 "No, Akane!"

 "Please? Pretty please?"

 "Akane, you haven't even
driven a motorcycle before. And it isn't
safe to go from Nerima to Los Angeles
on a hovercycle."

 "Oh. Well, how about..."

 "Later, Akane." Ranma stopped
in mid-kata. "Though that's an idea in itself.
We could all get together and go visit
America. We could drop you off in LA,
then the rest of us could go visit some of
the places I've heard about."

 "Spring break?" Akane's eyes
sparkled.

 "Yeah, sounds good."

 Akane smiled as she entered
the house, she had a chance now. She
might have to transfer to an American
school, but she had a chance.
--------------------------
 Moe, Larry, and Curly-bot
continued their task.

 A borehole became a tunnel,
the tunnel became an accessway. Dirt was
lasered into rock. Rocks were lasered into
walls, walls were smoothed and prepared.

 They were nearly tireless,
working off of internal batteries that
slid out of housings, to be placed in
the chargers while fresh packs were
loaded.

 They were workbots, after
all.

 Unfortunately, after having
watched "Snow White & The Seven
Dwarves" they had this unfortunate
tendency to break out into song while
working.

 A tune was one of the few
things that they couldn't carry.

 Perhaps it was fortunate that
they were at the prescribed depth and
the three workbots could not be heard.
--------------------------------------------
 Ukyou placed her palm against
the door sensor, wondering if she should
do this. Not only if it were right to do this,
but who knew what sort of security measures
Ranma had put into the thing.

 Everyone else was busy. Ranma
doing katas, mainly to keep in shape. Since
tonight was the first full moon, Kasumi was
getting things ready for a night as the
"mysterious unicorn" seen running through
the streets of Nerima.

 Nabiki was off making bets as
to where the unicorn would appear. Akane
was getting lessons from Shampoo in how to
drive a hovercycle for some strange reason.

 As for Vanilla, Ukyou wasn't
quite sure what to make of the albino. The
last Ukyou had seen, Vanilla was studying.

 Nodoka was moving back to her
old house, satisfied that her son was manly,
and concerned that he have the opportunity
to be manly.

 Ukyou hadn't seen Ranma for
years, and when he did show up again, he
was almost completely different from the
impulsive boy she had known.

 The answers, she felt, were in
here. In this lab that he had built.

 The door didn't open, not having
had her data input as an authorized user yet.
Ukyou paused when a pale hand shot past her
and palmed the switch.

 As the door hissed open, Ukyou
glanced back at the unsmiling visage of Vanilla.
Once again, Ukyou realized she didn't know
what to make of the Amazon.

 "Why?"

 "The same as you. To know."

 Ukyou entered and the internal
lights came on. She was peripherally aware
of the door hissing closed behind Vanilla.

 Vanilla moved past Ukyou as
the chef took in the cramped cockpit with
its chairs, displays, and massive toolkit
near the back.

 Ukyou watched Vanilla move
to a console and begin typing away at
a keyboard.

 "That's English, isn't it?"
Ukyou studied the display on the screen.
The smiley faces and scrolling chibi-dragons
were kind of strange.

 "Yes," Vanilla said simply.

 Not for the first time, Ukyou
wondered if the albino was a Vulcan. No
pointed ears, so maybe she was half-
Vulcan? "So, uhm, what are you doing?"

 "I am attempting to learn
more of my origins. We are here for
the same thing, though different directions,
are we not? I am seeking my past, you
are seeking your future." Vanilla
studied the screen. "Unfortunately,
the computer's database does not
appear to cover either."

 "Oh," Ukyou replied, not
really understanding. "Does it at least
cover Ranma's past?"

 "I would expect so. The
majority of information here deals
with the future world this vehicle is
from. There is also a personal log,
but it is protected by a password
function."

 "Oh." Ukyou repeated.

 "You do realize that the
current betting by Nabiki places you
within the top two probabilities for
being Ranma's wife." Vanilla's voice
was as calm as ever.

 "Don't count yourself
out of the race yet," Ukyou grumbled
as she studied the rows of text on
the computer. "Shampoo relates more
to all this tech stuff, Nabiki's sexier,
and you're a better fighter and have
that exotic look to you. Ranma hardly
knows I exist."

 "Nabiki has told me of
your adventures with Ranma while
you were children." Vanilla brought
up a different page and blinked at
the odd giant robots pictured there.
"The time you investigated that
pesky poltergeist in Shinohara only
to reveal that it was an inheritance
scam."

 "Well, yeah," Ukyou colored
slightly at the memory. Her and Ranchan
trapped at the bottom of the well for
long hours. It had been kind of...nice.

 "Or the Headless Houseguest,
or the Gambling King, or the Glitterrock
Ghost, or the Flatulence Phantom." Vanilla
frowned ever so slightly on that. Nabiki's
retelling of that adventure had been
diquieting.

 Ukyou's head snapped up.
"Waitaminute. How big is this password?"

 "Seventy four characters."

 "There was something that always
struck me as odd. Whenever we figured out
what the scam was and uncovered it, and
after we hid Kodachi when she joined us,
they always said the same thing. Lemmee
see the keyboard."

 Ukyou's fingers flew over the
keys, translating from Japanese to English.
"I'd have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't
for you meddling kids."

 Vanilla watched without
expression as the screen blinked a few times
then changed to display some sort of hidden
file. "Well, it's not his journal, but you've
gotten something."
---------------------------------
 Nodoka sighed and took the picture
from the wall to look at it again.

 They had been a happy bunch,
her various sorority sisters and herself. One
night the beer and the sake had flowed like
water, and close friends had made an agreement
between themselves.

 If Nodoka Saotome's son HAD become
a daughter, then that would have complicated
things enormously. Oh yes, it would have been
a mess. Not for some seppuku pledge.

 The agreement that would have joined
the houses by having son marry daughter. And
each and every one of those sorority sisters had
gone and had sons. At least of the ones that had
not vanished. The ones that kept up some
communication all had boy children.

 There had been the hope growing when
those two boys had shown up, speaking of her
daughter, that perhaps she would be able to meet
that agreement after all. She had almost dared to
hope that Genma HAD been unfaithful just to meet
the dictates of honor. Or perhaps as in that one
book's story of the Cursed Tunnel the curse
changed mind and soul to match the new body.

 Well, it sounded as if Mrs. Moroboshi
had enough problems, and while Achika was dead
and her son had turned out quite well by all accounts,
there was little point in engaging Ranma to Tenchi.

 No, however, if things were to change...

 Nodoka put the picture back onto its peg,
and wore a curious half-smile as she went into her
reading room to consult her copy of "Lurker's Guide
To Jusenkyo and Related Curses."

 A little light reading sounded like just the
thing before bed.
------------------------------------------
 Kasumi's clothes hit the ground as the
transformation hit, drawing gasps from Ranma and
Shampoo. The rest of the audience had seen it all
before.

 "Where Ukyou? Where Vanilla? Wanted
Vanilla see this."

 "Hmmm. Oh, they're in my lab, Shampoo.
They snuck in there forty minutes ago and they're
trying to navigate my database."

 Nabiki looked slyly over at him. "You
knew they'd try this?"

 "Actually, I thought you'd be the first
one to try it." Ranma watched the white-furred,
golden maned, mythic beast step daintily out of
the yard to begin her run around the neighborhood.

 Nabiki saw the look of concern and
hurried to assure Ranma. "She does this every full
moon. She tried just sticking to the backyard but
apparently there's a compulsion to run wild and
free that's part of the curse. Or at least not all
fenced in."

 "Yeah, well, I worry. Maybe I ought
to get a tracker or something, or some kind of
panic button she can hit in that form." Ranma
frowned. "After all, there's gonna be those who
want to either capture or kill the unicorn, others
who'll want to take the horn, and others who
will just exploit her."

 Nabiki didn't blink until that last
comment, then she winced.

 Unnoticed by any of them, and
so concealed that even the Winnebago's
passive sensors didn't detect it, a small
flying crab extended a camera and began
to follow the progress of the unicorn.
================================
A Very Scary Bet, Rough version
part 3c: My Woman From Ni-Chie-Ju?!?!
by greggsharp, metroanime@mindspring.com
http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com
various people own the various char. no
trademark infringement is intended.
this is written for enjoyment, distributed for
others to enjoy, and should not be confused
for even a picosecond as Great Literature.
-------------------^_^----------------------------
 United Nations Investigative Team
Headquarters, London England.

 "Sir, we've traced the search for
data on 'Ranma Saotome' to a Japanese senior
high school. The 'Saint Hebereke's School For
Girls- Junior Hackers Club' appears to be the
source."

 Pursing his lips, the Colonel seemed
to try to recall something, then finally gave up
after a few moments. "I just came on shift. Exactly
who is 'Ranma Saotome'?"

 "One of the Doctor's associates, sir.
Bit of a martial artist, quite the mechanic too. Did
a nice upgrade on the EMP gun. Worked with Q
over in Her Majesty's Secret Service during that
bit with the viral encoding messages in the Guinness
Stout."

 "Ah," the Colonel said with a frown.
Tampering with one's stout. QUITE unBritish.
Glad that was over and done with. And this lad
had helped to save the stout? "Well, then, send
an investigative unit out to check out this 'Saint
Hebereke's' and see exactly what they've got on
our ally. It might be quite innocent, eh?"

 "Yes sir," the Corporal said seriously.
He'd had to go for three days without a drop of
beer during that incident. The boys in the force
were quite anxious to help pay the Ranma boy
back for resolving the situation so swiftly.
-------------------------------------
 The class was boring beyond
belief, at least as far as Ranma was concerned.
Simple math. Bah.

 Almost as if in answer to the
prayer from a dozen students, the sky opened
up outside Furinkan.

 "Look at that!"

 "Sit down, Mister Aida!"

 "Monsters?!"

 Shampoo woke up. "Monsters?"

 Vanilla raised an eyebrow as she
looked at all the vaguely manlike figures
dropping out of the rip.

 "Why are they HERE?!"
Ukyou asked, curiously. "Isn't this the sort
of thing that happens in Juuban all the time?"

 Akane just grinned and cracked her
knuckles. "Why ask why?"

 The teacher adjusted his spectacles
and looked outside at the soldier drones. "All
right, don't anyone panic. They'll leave you alone
if you leave them alone."

 The class watched as a student was
beaten into submission, drained of all energy,
folded up and thrown into a trash receptacle.

 "Or maybe not."

 Akane was through the window before
the teacher had finished speaking. "Time for me to
do what I'm best at!"

 Ukyou ducked out a moment later, "sorry
Teach, I gotta go save the school or something!"

 Vanilla sighed and flipped down to the
ground similarly.

 "Shampoo head hurt from all this. Good
fight just what Shampoo need to unwind."

 From the third floor, two others came running
down, intent on the same thing.

 "Nabiki Tendo, get to safety, this is a job
for MEN!"

 "Want to place a bet, Kuno-baby? I'll bet
two okonomiyaki lunch specials that I get a higher
body count than you do!"

 Ranma shrugged, turned on his wristcomp,
and set it on automatic to analyze the big rip that these
opponents were coming out of.

 Ranma found himself wishing he'd unpacked
the BFG. Not that he could have kept it away from Shampoo
once she found out he'd packed it.

 In the meantime he could get some practice
in himself.
---------------------------------------
 Usagi looked at the little package and was
immediately surrounded by little floating hearts. "A package
from my Mamo-chan!  Thank you! WAIIIII!"

 The courier closed the door, smiled, and the air
shimmered around him. Now wearing his customary wizard's
robes, he took out his clipboard.

 "Sailor Moon, Brownies with nuts - Check.
                    Sailor Mercury, VR harem girl computer disc mislabelled
                             as VR Library of Alexandria. Check.
  Sailor Venus, cursed box of 'sample' dumplings. Check.
                    Sailor Mars, cursed shojo manga. Check.
                    Sailor Jupiter, cursed recipe book. Check.
  Tuxedo Kamen, Baby Ruth bar. Check."

 The Spells R Us evil wizard nodded, satisfied. Venus
had already had one of the dumplings and now weighed three
hundred pounds. "Lets see her try to wear her fuku now."

 A grin passed over his face as he felt Usagi's cursed
brownie take effect. If that weren't enough the sound of a five year
old child screaming in the room he'd just left was sufficient indicator
that Usagi Tsukino was now no longer a concern.

 Mamoru Chiba would be turned into a helpless baby girl.
Rei Hino would get sucked into her manga and end up in the "Rose
of Versailles" as Marie Antoinette. Makoto Kino would just flip
through the book, then be compelled to fix one of the recipes after
another. It would be interesting to see what curses she'd end up with.
Ami would find herself locked into the VR world with no apparent
exit within the program, and if she exited the program improperly...

 The wizard teleported. He had to get back to his shop.
He could watch from there, anyway. Then he could find the four
Senshi who weren't currently aware of their status.
---------------------------------
 "HA DO KEN!" A fireball slammed into a faceless minion,
lifting it up and carrying it into an impact with the school gates.

 "BLACKJACK!" Card shuriken sliced into another
faceless minion, which dissolved immediately thereafter.

 "Eeeeeeek!" Ukyou said, being lifted off her feet
and being carried away by two of the faceless minions.

 Vanilla drew her sash and used the Iron Cloth
manuever to make it a sword that slashed through the arms
holding Ukyou. "I'm really sorry," she said in a quiet voice.
"I don't happen to have a battle cry."

 Shampoo grinned and drew out a little something
her airen had made for her on that desert world when she'd lost
her favorite katana. He'd copied the very same weapon that
had cut the katana in half, as best Ranma could. The flashlight
hummed and an energy blade appeared at one end. "Shampoo
CHOP!" Shampoo spun and leapt and swung her light sabre
about in great swooping arcs, giggling and generally quite
happy with how events were turning out.  This beat doing
that algebra stuff at least.

 Tatewaki Kuno finished off one of his own opponents
only to see the Big Momma coming. "Ah, the master youma. This
then, is my chance to truly prove my skill against a worthy opponent."

 Slapping aside the kendoist and looking about at all
the martial artists, the waxy looking giant finally settled on the
most dangerous appearing of its opponents.

 "HA DO KEN!" Akane fired off a quick fireball, then
sprinted forward. She intended to perform a Shoryuhau.

 "HA DO KEN!" The giant mimicked, features reforming
into a 12ft tall version of Akane. "HA DO KEN!"

 Watching Akane get slammed with two of her own
fireballs, everyone else went still for a moment.

 Akane picked herself out of a crater. "Think you're
so tough? You should try sparring with Ryu, you wimp!"

 "Got it!" Ranma smiled, made an adjustment to
a blocky looking gun, then fired a shot at the rip in the sky.
The rip sealed itself, leaving some bewildered looking youma
behind.

 "Arrrrrrrrgghhh!" The giant Akane leapt into the air,
slamming down over the original version.

 Shampoo, without further ado, cut off the wax Akane's
head with a single strike. She was rewarded by the sight of the giant
melting like hot wax. "Ah, some day is good to be Amazon."

 Ukyou stepped past Shampoo, stuck her spatula underneath
the molten blob, and began the task of freeing the original Akane.

 "I just hate waxy buildup," Akane grumbled as soon as
she had finished gasping for air.

 "Oh, it's not so bad, sis," Nabiki offered, "look the stuff
just peels right off."

 <RIIIIiiiiiiiiiPPPPPPP!>

 "Uhm. Oh dear. Sorry about that."
-----------------------------
 Sasuke looked up from the postcard, eyes beginning
to glimmer with tears. "Oh...how glorious. Dare I believe it?"

"Dear Father, Brother, Sasuke:
  Have completed my studies abroad. Am enroute to rejoin all of
you and should be there in a few days. Will speak to you then.
  Hugs & Kisses, Kuno Kodachi - Fist of the Black Rose."

Sasuke was sure to put the postcard where his master would be
sure to see it. Soon Kodachi would be returned to them!
-------------------------------
 Kiima held her head in her hands. "But you take
Amazons all the time!"

 "Not the same." Nathan Brazil flicked an ash off of
his cigar and regarded the winged woman. "Have an agreement
with the Amazons. Don't have one with Phoenix Mountain."

 "But I'm too tired to fly across to Japan!" Kiima
frowned. If she couldn't get a ride there, how could she cross?

 "What do you want in Japan, anyway? Last I heard
Phoenix Mountain had retreated from the world and pulled the
tunnels in after them."

 "One of the Doctor's Companions is in Nerima. I'm
engaged to him." Kiima flushed a little, wondering what It was
like with a normal human. She'd heard stories of course.

 "The Doctor?" Nathan frowned a little. Last time he'd
run into the old coot, he'd been trying to avoid capture by some
Cybermen. Could something be going on in a Tokyo suburb that
was unusual even for his life?
--------------------------------------------
 A door slammed open and a tall 17 year old girl
gave a disgusted sigh as she saw that she was indeed too late.

 "C'mon, Usagi, we gotta get you cleaned up."
Makoto led the child away from the toys. She knew that only
she and a few others would ever remember Usagi as being
older than the little girl in the pink jumper.

 "Mako-chan. Am kid! No fair."

 "They couldn't have seen through our disguise
fields," announced Luna. "Even with that videotape. So
how did they know who we were?"

 "Magic," said Makoto with a shrug. "C'mon,
I got Ami and Minako over Rei's shrine. I'll drive you over."

 "Drive?!" Luna exclaimed. "Say what happened
to you, anyway?"

 "I fixed a recipe with wine that had been aged
three years. Found myself aged three years as soon as I
had some. We can probably get Usagi a little older with it.
Minako has to be shoved through doors now, she's terribly
overweight. Ami's eighteen years old now, and...well."
Makoto seemed reluctant to say anything further in that
regard.

 "Oh no. What about Mamoru?"

 "Well, Ami seems OK to take care of her."

 "'Her?!'" Usagi started bawling. "Mamo-chan's
a girl?! Waaaaaaaaaaaa!"

 "She's also a baby," said Makoto, flinching
when this escalated Usagi's wail.
------------------------------------------------
 Queen Beryl stalked forward, manifesting
her presence as if she were 20ft tall.

 The Spells R Us wizard was not terribly
impressed.

 "How could you let them live? I have
heard reports that you have left the Senshi helpless.
Why are they then still alive!"

 The wizard held his arm out, flicked his
hand around, and pulled a sheaf of papers out of
nowhere. "It's in my contract. Check it out, page
two. While I am to remove the Sailor Senshi and
their immediate allies from interfering with the
various competing Dark Kingdoms, the contract
specifically states that they be allowed a chance,
no matter how slim, to regain their natural forms.
Killing them would invalidate that."

 Beryl took the papers with a grumble.
"Who insisted on this clause anyway?"

 "I did." The old man shrugged and
leaned against a wall that wasn't there. "Look,
I do work for you Dark Kingdom types, I do
work for the Infernal Revenue Service, I do work
for the Divine Justice & Retribution people. I
freelance. I kill off the Senshi or ANY group of
true heroes and I can kiss the DJR jobs goodbye.
Likewise, the truly evil I can't do anything too
permanent to without there being a CHANCE for the
individual to recover.

 "Not only losing the odd jobs, but
as long as I'm working both sides, neither is
going to interfere in my little fun. Unless, of
course, I make a mistake and get someone who
is under either Divine or Infernal protection.
As soon as I find out about that, I back off.
Same principle. Got it?"

 Beryl considered drawing her power
around her and lashing out at this worm who
dared to mock her. A moment later and she was
doing so.

 The wizard smirked. "You really shouldn't
play out of your league, you know."
-----------------------------------------------
 "There, all done." Kasumi put the shears
away and regarded her handiwork.

 "Looks kinda cute that way, Akane."

 "I've got shorter hair than Ken does,
Ukyou." Akane sighed. "At least it isn't shorter
than Ryu's."

 "Where's Ranma when you need a
male opinion?" Ukyou looked around, then
noticed the hovertruck was missing.

 "Oh, Ranma was going to investigate
some of those odd power readings. He said that
there were similar attacks like at Furinkan, but at
several different locations." Kasumi walked around
Akane before nodding that she was satisfied.

 "Where's everyone else?"

 Ukyou shook her head and fingered her
own long hair. Maybe she should consider a different
look. "Shampoo and Vanilla are sparring. Nabiki is working
with some Amazon magic potion stuff."

 "Hmmmm. I thought she was making dinner,"
Kasumi said with a sigh. "Tonight's another full moon, so
I've got to get ready for the second night of my three night
cycle. Who _is_ cooking tonight?"

 "Me," Ukyou said. "Don't worry, Kasumi,
I've got extra lettuce for you for after you've transformed.
Just try not to go past the Kuno estate again. They get
really freaked out."
=============================================
end chapter 3.

preview chapter 4:

 "Hi, is Ranma in? My name's Makoto Kino and
this is my good friend Ami Mizuno. May we come in?"

 Nabiki chuckled evilly as she checked the drinks.
Yes, everything was in place. Ranma couldn't escape THIS
time!

 "Airen fix power armor?! Shampoo happy! Want
BFG hooked up as soon as you can. Stupid helicopter 'Poison
One' keep trying to attack Shampoo. Shampoo want clear
superiority in firepower. Is only right for Chinese Amazon!"

	"Ken? Is that you?! I was...just thinking about
you."Akane checked her hair, momentarily forgetting that
he couldn't see through the telephone.