Local access can be weird. 
	...oh no, it's the Klingon cooking show again...why do I keep thinking Akane?
Maybe it's such things as "Crushed little cute animals."  Yum!  0):)

	Um, lessesee, insert generic disclaimers, warning of some OOCness & sexual
situations, and oh, yeah, this is probably an insane spoof, 'cause there's not
much regard for characterizations or sanity.
	I'd advise ingesting at least a large amount of sugar/caffine before trying
this.  Or just letting up on whatever drug you're taking to keep your sanity.
All my personalities are so happy I'm letting them help me with this...
	Note: because this is refusing to devide itself into chapters or any other
'standard' way of devideing a story, I'm going to repeat the last paragraph of
the last part posted will be included at the start of each part, along with
something tell what was going on last time...
 
 *** *** ***   *** *** ***   *** *** ***
Last time: I, having been killed by an irate Vegita, left the set of what was
going to be a spamfic for the next dimension.  Akane gets chosen to run the
spamfic, and when we left she had just started the thing, and was showing
definite signs of being drugged.  (This is because of two glasses of spiked
drink that I left backstage for anyone who wanted to drink them.  Hey, I was
bored.)

	*** *** ***

     Goten showed some signs of fear and mumbled a reply.  He moved to stand
at the grill on the same side that he had entered from, as far away as he
could from Akane without leaving the set.

     *** *** *** Off the set

	"Goku, if you'll go onstage we'll give you a refrigerator full of food," said
Freeza.  Goku nodded happily and walked onto the set.
	Chichi looked at Freeza, impressed.  "How'd you learn that he could be bribed
with food?"
	"Hey, I was watching the show since it started."
	"Why didn't you..."
	"Bribe him way back on Namek?  It would have killed the plot.  Now, it looks
like they need help with Gohan."
	"He never did study as long as he should have...wish we had come up with this
earlier."
	"You could use the Dragonballs..."
	"Hmmm...yes, I could."
	Freeza smiled.  His plan to completely alter the timeline was working.
	Well, that's what he thought.  He probably should have remembered that,
because the timeline had already been altered somewhat by his being there, and
Authors don't like characters changing the timelines they are so happy working
with, that the plan was not going to work.
	I decided to interfere a bit more from the afterlife and insert an anvil.
	A few feet above Freeza's head.
	It crushed him with a rather satisfying smash.
	"Ow," he said, and returned to the next dimension, wondering why an anvil
killed him.
	Two glasses sitting near Freeza's mortal remains finished turning into a
small puddle of some unknown chemical.  The puddles then started evolving,
mainly because they didn't have anything else to do.

	*** *** ***Back on the set

     Trunks and Vegita had already entered the set by this point, and were
watching Goku and Goten on the other side of the set.  Akane was happily
chattering on about mallets and small cute creatures.  Goten was watching the
edge of the set, looking for the chance to make a break for the exit.  Goku
was investigating the mysterious containers.
     "Oh!!  Hi Gohan!!  I'm so happy that you're going to taste what we're
going to cook!!"  Akane said, breaking off from the chatter about flattened
kawaiiness.  The camera cut to the same side of the set that Goku and Goten
are on.
	Carrying Gohan, who was secured in what probably started out as a chair but
now looked like a torture device, was Future Trunks and Piccolo.  Following
them is Bulma and Videl.  Gohan looks in the camera, makes a rather muffled
but loud protest, and struggled violently.  There was a loud noise, kinda like
a cat in a bug zapper, and he went limp.
     "He says he's very happy to do this."  Piccolo said, 'translating'
Gohan's muffled protests.
	Gohan was put down towards the back of the set, and the 'chair' was secured
to the floor.  The procession then walked off the stage.

[There were several minutes worth of some very nice visual gags, and Gohan
getting zapped twice here, but they were cut because well, I had to let DiC
edit some of this.  I luckily managed to keep them from renaming Goten "Jon"
but I was unable to save some very good footage.  Oh well...]

     The grills were starting to smoke.  Trunks poked cautiously at the thing
on the grill he was in front of.
	Akane's 'okonomiyaki' vanished and in its place appeared Ranma, in male form,
and totally naked.
	Everyone blinked.
	Akane leapt onto the grill, somehow managing to strip completely in the three
seconds it took her to get onto the grill.  "Ranma, I love you!!" she cried,
and then asked him point blank to make love to her.
	But in rather cruder terms.
	Ranma screamed and those other on the set who could facefault facefaulted.
	Chichi sauntered onto the set and...

[The camera goes black as the camera operator hits the floor in a dead faint.
The mike is still on...]

	"Chichi?  Ummm..."
	"I can't believe it..."
	"AHHHHHHHH!!!  AKANE!!!!  GEDDOFFOME!!"
	"Oh, Ranma!!"
	"I do not want to see this.  I really do not want to see this."
     "Mmmmph!!!  Mmmff mmm m MFFFPH!!!"
     "Popcorn?"
     "Sure."
     "...they're worse then us."
     "Uh-huh."
     "Bra, you might want to leave."
     "Why?  Seen worse through that peephole in your door..."
     "WHAT?"
     "Goten showed it to me."
     "GOTEN!"  (Several voices, this time.)
     "eh heh heh heh..."
     There is the sounds of a small mob chasing after Goten.  The other, um,
squishing noises, Gohan's struggles against the chair, the chair zapping
Gohan, and villains -- and a few heroes & people of no particular opinion when
it come to taking over the world/universe/Middle of Nowhere, North Carolina,
USA, Earth -- munching popcorn and watching the show.  (Most had gone off to
turn Goten into a red smear, or at least watch, but some had decided that it
was more interesting to watch the two romantic pairs...)

*** *** ***   *** *** ***   *** *** ***
	...
	This is getting a bit too hentai for me.  Tell me what you think of this.
C&C will be welcomed, flames will be C&Ced, and I already know I need my head
checked.  So no need to bother with telling me that.


		--Ryo Hoshi
Looking for one good screengrab of a fight from DBZ