Dragon Ball Z and Ranma 1/2 belongs to others, the complete list of whom I
can't give easily.  Same with any and all cameos & references.
	No sue, I'm broke.
	Folks, at certain parts of this story, people are going to act OOC.  If you
have been paying attention, you'll understand why.
	C&C wanted, flames will be C&Ced, and any ideas for where to go next are
wanted too.  (Discouragement not needed, so don't bother.)


Dead Authors
By Ryo Hoshi


	They all looked into the crater, hoping that somehow I had been able to use
her magic to save herself.
	No such luck.
	"Now what are we going to do?" asked Gohan.
	
*** Elsewhere

	The powers-that-be looked on in despair.  A fanfic sans author?  A universe
sans creator/mantanace person?  It would destroy reality!  (Of course, that
would be fun, but the following nonexistence would be dreadfully boring.)
	So they used their advanced person selecting techniques (AKA spin the bottle)
and chose the power-that-is known for her bad cooking.  She used her mallet on
the power-that-is who had spun the bottle and then stalked off to run a
universe.
	The power-that-is that looked like a panda lifted up a sign.  "Ranma, next
time don't call her an uncute tomboy," it read.

*** Back at the blast site

	Akane looked around.
	Great, she thought to herself.  I've got to manage these people?  Why
couldn't it have been Shampoo?  *She* watches this show...
	Akane picked up the script that the previous writer -- me -- had left behind.
She read it over quickly.  Needs editing, she thought.
	She pulled a red pen out from malletspace and started scribbling on the
script.

*** Off on the next dimension, AKA 'Afterlife for Authors'

	"Ahhh...this is the life."  I was currently wondering the near shore of the
Styx.  I wasn't interested in crossing the thing yet.  I mean, the only reason
I didn't bother using my author magic to save myself was because I wanted to
be dead.
	For one, who can begrudge a dead person a vacation?
	Well, forget I asked that.  I'm sure you all could come up with a list quite
easily.

*** Take One: Akane's Kitchen

	The set is something of a generic kitchen.  It's all that shade of yellow
that, for some strange reason, reminds you of your little brother's sheets,
back when he was wetting the bed.  Well, not all surfaces are yellow -- the
counter is, thankfully, stainless steel.  Though it isn't stainless; it looks
like someone has spilled dangerous chemicals on it.  Sitting on this counter
is a lot of mysterious white containers, and installed into the counter were
three grills.  Offstage there are the faint sounds of someone struggling
against something, and loosing.
	Enter, stage left, Akane.  She's wearing a lovely blue dress with an
allegedly white apron over it.  She is smiling.  Like Kasumi.  The effect's
kinda...spooky.  Spooky as in someone's just summoned Cthulhu and, you know,
now that you think about it, he really *does* look like your little brother,
not spooky as in gee, there's this guy in a mask yelling 'Boo!' and he seems
to be really angry that you're not scared.
	"Welcome to Akane's Kitchen!!"  Kasumi-smile, this time looking totally out
of place.  Her eyes look off, too.  "Today will shall cook okonomiyaki!!"
	Goten wanders onto the set.  Well, not as much wanders as stumbles onto the
set, looking like someone pushed him on.  "Why, hello, Goten!!"
	Goten showed some signs of fear and mumbled a reply.  He moved to stand at
the grill on the same side that he had entered from, as far away as he could
from Akane without leaving the set.

*** *** ***   *** *** ***   *** *** ***
	And that's as far as I've gotten.
	Yes, Akane's on something.  Yes, I'm on something.  (The bottle said it's
cold medicine, but I'm starting to wonder...)
	Oh, and the afterlife is going to get interesting.  Also, at a few points,
rather...ecchi.  What can I say?  The Lakalai are an...interesting people.
(And a bit sex sex-obsessed.)  And whomever came up with Kaitalugi must have
been really warped.  (I must be pretty warped myself to use elements of thier
myth...)


		--Ryo Hoshi