A Mothers Love
A Darkfic
Ryuuji opened his eyes slowly. The morning light was
irritatingly bright on his sleep sensitized eyes. He rolled over and
peered at his clock. 9:30 am. He bolted upright. "Shit!" Late for
school, not good news.
He started to get out of bed when he noticed he was naked.
That's when it all came back to him. His mother the night before, he
had... And there he was without any clothes on at all. What a
fabulous way to start the day. "Damn it!" He looked around his
futon, but his pajamas were gone, along with the clothes he had worn
the day before.
He got out of bed and went to get clean clothes from his dresser
on the other side of the room. He opened the top drawer which
contained his underwear, socks and shorts, and pulled out his uniform
socks and some underwear. It was all white, it was all cotton, which
one made no difference.
His clean uniform was hanging up on his closet door, pressed to
perfect every crease. He took down his pants and shirt, leaving the
hangar behind. He stepped one foot inside his underwear when his door
opened and his mother walked in.
"Mom!" He struggled to pull his underwear on the rest of the way
as quickly as possible.
She looked at him, smiling. "It's nothing I haven't seen before,
Ryu-chan. Don't be such a baby." She watched him pull on his briefs,
then his pants, his face red the entire time.
"I washed your pajamas. They're clean if you want to wear them
again tonight."
Ryuuji felt his stomach flip-flop. '...try again another
night...' "Um, thanks."
"I called in for you today too. I figured you had a hard day
yesterday and could use a break." She smiled innocently at him.
He stopped buttoning up his shirt and looked at her. She was
holding his pajamas under her arm and had his robe in her hand. Where
had she gotten his robe?
"Come on, Ryu-chan. Take your uniform off, you don't want to
wrinkle it. Then we can have some breakfast."
He nodded, his neck stiff and his head heavy. He started
unbuttoning what he had just done up. He concentrated on his fingers,
feeling her eyes on him. He put the shirt back on its hangar then
removed his pants. She was right; she had seen it all before and she
wasn't going to leave him alone again. He hung his pants up and took
the robe from her hand.
He put it on, then closed it up as much as possible, tying the
belt in a tight granny knot. Smiling sickly at his mother, he started
to walk past her to get breakfast.
"No, no. You're doing it all wrong, Ryu-chan." She stood in
front of him and began to open the robe, loosening it until it was
open in the front, his chest bare. She stepped back and admired him.
"That looks nice..." She went to put her hand on his chest, but he
flinched at her touch. Still too soon.
"Come on, breakfast is ready. I know how men need their
breakfast," she said, acting as if nothing had happened. She walked
out of his room.
Men? Since when was he a man? She was equating his 17th
birthday with some sort of miraculous maturing process. Or maybe it
was... No! He couldn't think about that, it wasn't right. He closed
his eyes and breathed deeply, trying to regain his composure. She
would see it as a sign of weakness if he acted like a frightened
rabbit all day. He had to act strong, he had to project independence
and confidence, even if he didn't feel any of it.
He closed the robe, enough to feel secure but left enough showing
to keep his mother from trying to open it again. He looked once at
the pajamas she had left on his bed, how innocent they looked. He had
felt innocent at one time... two days ago...
***
The day was agony. His mother took every chance to touch him,
from a simple touch on the hand to rubbing his back. The robe didn't
hide anything, for him or her. He could feel every touch, every
caress, and he knew she could feel every detail of his body through
it.
She didn't allow him to put on any clothes, always telling him
how comfortable the robe was and that his normal clothes would ruin
his day off. And of course, he couldn't go against what she said.
His aunt had come over at one point, causing him to hide in his
room. Who knew what she would do if she saw him in the robe. She'd
probably say how much he looked like his father then he'd see that
funny look in his mothers eyes.
Currently, he was sitting across from his mother, eating dinner.
It had been less than 30 minutes before that that he realized the next
day was the beginning of a short school vacation. His mother had
worked in an extra day to have him at home. The prospect of what
might happen in the next three days, and nights, scared him to his
very core.
He ate slowly, chewing his food thoroughly before taking another
bite. He looked down at his bowl and nowhere else. Maybe, just
maybe, his mother was actually being nice because she wanted him to be
happy. Maybe she called in for him so he could relax and recharge
himself for an extra day. He needed it, and the vacation itself
couldn't have come at a better time except for one thing. One small
thing...
***
That night, he had actually managed to make himself put on some
clothes and go out. He didn't actually go anywhere, just to the park.
He sat under some trees, listening to the night sounds, until very
late. He estimated that he had been there for over four hours, but he
couldn't remember anything about the passing time. It was as if only
20 minutes had gone by.
He raised himself. Four hours. He would be in trouble when he
got home. Even if she had called him a man, his mother still kept a
very short leash on him, and she didn't like it when he disobeyed
curfew. His curfew had always been 10 PM, which had seemed fair at
one time. But now, he couldn't stay out late enough. He never wanted
to return to his bed, covered in black, like it was covered with
decay. Like HE was covered with decay.
No choice. He returned to his house, looking at the darkened
windows. Maybe he could get some sleep. Punishment the next day
would be worth even a few hours of sleep. He opened the door as
quietly as he could, removing his shoes and tiptoeing around. Just as
long as his mother didn't wake up.
He made it upstairs and opened his door, freezing like a statue
when it made a tiny squeak. He waited and listened. No sound. He
opened the door a little more and slipped in. He should have known
better.
She was waiting for him.
"Ryu-chan, why are you coming back so late?" Her voice drifted
out of the darkness.
"Mom... I just lost track of time." He stood absolutely still,
his hand still on the door.
"Your curfew was three hours ago. How did you lose track of time
for three hours?" He heard her rise from his bed, could make out her
form walking to him. "You weren't with that slut again, were you?"
"No, Mom! I was by myself in the park!"
"Are you sure you weren't with that girl?"
"Yes! I was alone! I didn't see anyone, I swear it!" Panic
gripped him, but he couldn't move his feet.
"Well, alright. But you'll have to be punished."
Ryuuji almost cried right there. He could feel the tears
forming. It was all so wrong! But it had felt so good... He just
couldn't fight his mother. Wrong, all wrong! Rotten inside, that's
how he felt. But there was a tickle, a whisper at the back of his
mind, something that wouldn't be quiet, that insisted it be heard.
Something that said how good it felt to have her touch him and that
she could make him feel even better. Something that said that it was
his mother and she would take care of him, like any mother would.
Something that said not to fight it, fighting would only make it worse
and doing what she wanted would make him feel good...
"Please don't punish me. I'm sorry, I'll never do it again!"
Stop fighting, it'll be so much easier, so much better. Fighting will
only make her angry...
"Stop whining, Ryu-chan. You broke your curfew, disobeyed me,
and now you have to be punished for it. You know you have to be back
by 10 and you didn't come back until 1. And you weren't with anyone
to be distracted." She was standing right in front of him. "I know
you're sorry, but I just can't let it slide. If I give you an inch,
you'll take a mile. I know you that well." But she knew him so much
better, too.
Just give in. Ryuuji opened his mouth to protest. "Yes, I know.
I'm sorry." Wait a minute, that's not what he wanted to say. He was
supposed to deny it, deny the voice in his head, deny his memories of
the simple physical pleasure...
"Good. I'm glad you understand. Now you just get ready for bed
and I'll deal with you later." She put her hand to his cheek, then
walked out of his room.
Ryuuji sank to the floor. This wasn't really happening to him,
it was some sick dream. He'd wake up, laugh at his erection then get
ready for school. He looked at his bed, able to see the dark outline
of the pajamas on his white blanket. It wasn't a dream and he
wouldn't wake up. He sat and stared at his bed until his mother came
back a few minutes later.
"Why aren't you in your pajamas? I thought I gave you plenty of
time. Get up off the floor and change."
"I'm sorry, Mom. I'll change right away." Stay on the floor.
What's she going to do? Force you? You're stronger than she is. You
don't have to! He stood and began to remove his clothes, unmindful of
his mother standing behind him. Once completely nude, he put on the
pajamas, only buttoning the bottom two buttons. He turned to face his
mother.
"Good. Now you just get into bed and think about what you've
done. Maybe then you'll see how you were wrong."
"Yes, Mom." He crawled across the bed, working his way under the
covers, and lay staring at the ceiling. What the hell's wrong? This
is not how either of you should be acting? Don't let her do this to
you!
He rolled to his side, staring at the small clock, its hands
glowing dimly. Then, he did cry, just a little. The tears sliding
down his face and staining his pillow. But what good did it do? She
wouldn't care if he cried, it only seemed to make him feel worse
anyway. It's just not fair! Why can't I stop her? Why can't I stop
myself? He buried his face in the pillow, breathing heavily through
his nose.
***
"Ryu-chan? Wake up."
Someone was shaking his shoulder. He tried to shrug it off.
"Wake up, Ryu-chan."
Ryu-chan? Oh no, his mother. "Mom?" He asked, his voice
slurred.
"Yes, Ryu-chan. It's me. I wanted to apologize for getting so
harsh with you. I realize that you need your space as a man, but I
can't help but worry about you."
"Huh? Oh, that's OK. I'm just tired..." He buried his face
back in the pillow.
"I'm sorry, Ryu-chan."
He mumbled into his pillow, exhausted and needing sleep.
"I'm sorry, Ryu-chan." She lifted the covers and got into his
bed. He was still mostly asleep and didn't stir. She pulled his
shoulder, removing his face from the pillow. He was so handsome, he
deserved so much more than that girl. He had so much to live for.
She couldn't understand why he insisted in hanging around girls that
were so dirty.
"Damn it, Ryuuji. Wake up." Her mood had changed in an instant.
"You wake up now before I get very upset."
"What, Mom?" He thought that this one night he could get sleep.
It looked like it was not to be. He couldn't control the irritation
in his voice. "I'm trying to sleep."
"I guess you should have thought of that before you stayed out so
late. Now roll over so I can see your face."
He rolled over to his other side and looked at her. He couldn't
see her face real well, but what he could see scared him. It was a
mistake to speak when he wasn't under complete control. "I... I'm
sorry, Mom. I was just tired... That's all."
"As you should be, but it's too late for that." She undid his
buttons roughly, still angry. "Don't make this harder on yourself
than it needs to be. Both of us can get something out of this if you
just cooperate."
He nodded weakly, his mouth suddenly dry.
She looked at him for a moment then leaned up and kissed him
hard. He tried to pull back, surprised by her aggressiveness, but she
continued to lean on him. She wrapped her arms around him and rolled
back, pulling him on top of her.
He struggled momentarily, his rational mind screaming at him.
But that soothing whisper soon drowned out all his other thoughts.
How nice it would be to just accept it and enjoy the feeling. His
mother knew him better than anyone else after all and she loved him.
Who else could say that they loved him more than his mother? That
seemed to drive out all protestations.
He braced himself on his arms and began to take in the feel of
her body beneath his. She was wearing something different than the
night before, it was softer and smoother, it felt good against his
chest. Her arms loosened then, not needing to grab and hold him
securely.
He couldn't bring himself to do anything other than let her have
her way with him and enjoy the sensations, his mind still revolted at
that thought. It was one thing doing... that stuff... because she
told him to, and something completely different doing it because he
wanted to. So he let her kiss him, let her feel him and he didn't
resist.
It did feel kind of nice to have a warm body next to his,
comforting, he had to admit it. He didn't feel as scared any more.
He was still frightened, but not to the level he had been. And his
brain had shut out the confusion entirely. It made everything easier
if he just stopped thinking and let it all happen.
The hands on his clock hit 2:30 am.
***
He opened his eyes, the sun streaming in his window once again.
He looked at the clock. 9:30 am. "Shit!" He bolted upright.
"Come back to bed, Ryu-chan..." A sleepy voice from his bed.
He looked over at the origin of the voice. He could see the top
of his mothers head, the rest of her covered by his blanket. One of
her hands drooped tiredly over his leg. Not again! His rational
mind, now back in control, yelled at him. What had he been thinking
last night? Just letting her do what she wanted to him? What the
hell is wrong?
He lifted the blanket carefully. He was still in his pajamas,
the bottoms at least, and she was still in her nightie. That provided
him a little comfort. He pulled at the waistband of his bottoms and
looked in them. No, no sticky mess. That was another comfort. He
couldn't really remember what had happened, but they weren't naked and
that made him feel a little better.
He started to get out of his bed when her hand grabbed him
tightly. "Come back to bed..." Sleepy but still commanding.
He slid down into the bed and attempted to relax. It wasn't
working. His skin felt suddenly cold so he pulled the blanket up
around his neck. His mother chose that moment to snuggle up to him,
putting her arm across his stomach.
He wished the ceiling was a little more picturesque.
***
He spent the day doing chores. It was his punishment for being
rude to his mother. He washed every surface downstairs, windows,
tables, counters,
he cleaned out the closets, he washed the dishes, he cleaned the
kitchen until it sparkled. He cleaned the bathrooms, swept and
vacuumed under everything, made all the beds, did laundry and even
made lunch.
He sat on the edge of his futon, run down. His back hurt from
all the lifting and sweeping and his hands were dried out from all the
cleaning. His shirt had sweat stains all over it, partially from
exertion, partially from being so close to his mother all day. At
least she had allowed him to get dressed.
"Ryu-chan? Can you go to the store?" His mother, calling him
from downstairs.
He pushed himself up, off the bed and trudged down the stairs.
He had to hold on to the railing to keep himself from toppling over.
Getting outside would be a nice change from being stuck inside (with
his mother). She was waiting for him and gave him a short list.
"Hurry back with that stuff." She patted him on the back and
went back to the kitchen.
"I will, Mom." He left the house and headed for the store, the
list clutched tightly in his hand. If he lost the list, who knows
what she would make him do the next day (that night).
The sunny skies and warm weather considerably brightened his
mood. He actually cheered up as he walked and arrived at the store in
a somewhat pleasant mood. They had stopped going to the quaint
outdoor market a few years ago. It just hadn't been economical or
convenient when there was a supermarket so close by.
He stepped through the automatic doors and looked at the list.
First item: milk. Second item: soap. Third item: hand lotion.
Fourth item: aww geez. Why did she make him buy that stuff? Fifth
item: baby oil? Sixth item: huh? Scented candles? Why scented?
Seventh item... Ryuuji thought he was going to pass out in the store.
Condoms.
***
He walked home, with his bag of groceries, in a daze. He had
bought every item in the list, the person ringing him up giving him
strange looks. But he didn't notice how they looked at him, he could
only look at that seventh item...
What would she need those for? Did she meet a man or something?
He knew but he didn't want to know... There was some sanity saving
mechanism in his brain that stopped him from thinking about why his
mother wanted them.
The sun had disappeared behind dark clouds as he approached his
home. Getting rained on was the one thing he did not need at the
moment. It started to sprinkle a bit and forced him to jog the rest
of the way.
He burst through the front door just as the clouds opened up,
pouring rain, thunder and lightning. "I'm back," he called, removing
his shoes. He shook his head, flinging small water droplets out of
his hair.
"Can you bring that stuff into the kitchen?"
He walked to the kitchen, noticing how dark it had grown in only
a matter of minutes. It looked the storm would be sticking around for
a while too. He set the bag on the counter and waited for his mother
to tell him what to do.
"Thank you. I'm all done with you today, you can do whatever you
want. And I want to thank you for helping out around the house today,
Ryu-chan." She looked at him, nothing but sincerity on her face.
"It's no problem, Mom." At that moment, he believed her,
believed that she grateful for his help around the house and nothing
more.
"Dinner will be ready in an hour or so. I expect you to be
here." He could do whatever he wanted as long as he listened to his
mother.
"Yes, Mom. I'll just go listen to some CDs." He left the
kitchen and headed to his room.
***
Dinner had, surprisingly, been a pleasant experience. The storm
raging outside had given the house a rather cozy feel with the lights
on. Dinner had been a very simple soup and seafood salad. Ryuuji ate
as much as he was given and even had room left for some sakura-mochi.
They weren't the best, it was a bit off-season, but it was a nice
treat.
He looked at the empty bowls in front of him and stifled a belch.
"That was good."
"I'm glad." A crack of thunder shook the house. "I'll clean up
the dishes, don't you worry about it." His mother stood and started
picking up the bowls and their napkins.
"I ate most of it, I should help." He listed his own bowl before
his mother could reach it. He smiled at her and felt something
strange in his stomach when she smiled back. For the first time in
long while, he felt relaxed and even a little happy. He had no clue
as to why either.
They cleaned up their dishes in a comfortable silence. Now if
only his father would come home, everything would be back to normal...
Ryuuji sighed heavily.
"What's wrong, Ryu-chan?"
"I miss Dad." He threw away the napkins.
"So do I. But now we have each other, don't we?"
Ryuuji's pleasant mood went crashing right into the ground. He
had thought the funny feeling earlier had been happiness, but no. It
had been horror. He was getting complacent with his mother, not
fighting the awful personal interludes... "Yes, we have each other."
Oh no. That must have sounded like a come on. His eyes got wide for
a moment and his heart rate increased.
She set down a bowl she had picked up and hugged him. Just a
plain, old hug. Nothing groping or sexual about it. He froze then
put his arms around her anyway out of habit and held her. He was
frightened that he had done that without any effort. He was being
programmed slowly to be his mothers... He had to stop himself from
throwing her to the floor.
She pulled away from him, her eyes a bit moist. She hadn't cried
for her dead husband in a while and she had no one to help her deal
with it. Her sisters were too far removed from her life to help,
Ryuuji was the only one who understood what it was like. "Thank you,
Ryu-chan. I needed that."
Ryuuji nodded and smiled. It felt fake on his face, but his
mother seemed to take it at face value. "I'll just head up to bed
now." It wasn't that late, but he needed to just sit by himself.
Thinking about things was something he wanted to stay away from
though. He didn't want to ponder or consider or wonder... He just
wanted to sit in silence.
***
The storm hadn't let up. It was still raining like it was a
hurricane and the thunder and lightning went off every few seconds.
Ryuuji sat in his room with just his reading light on and tried to
meditate. He wasn't sure exactly how it was done, but he cleared his
mind of everything and just relaxed. It worked for a little while.
Another house shaking crash of thunder broke his concentration
though. He watched his light flicker for a moment, then he was
plunged into darkness. He stood slowly, knowing his room well enough
to get to the door. Opening it, was just like opening a doorway to
the darkest depths of the ocean. There was no light.
He stepped into the hall, his hand on the wall. He walked slowly
until he was at the top of the stairs and stopped. From the bottom of
the stairs was a light, his mother had a candle. He could smell it
where he was; it was one of the candles he had bought. She appeared
at the bottom of the stairs, holding the thick candle. It would last
for hours, until the power came back on or morning arrived.
He watched her come up the stairs and light another of the
candles, holding it out to him. "Here. This will work until the
power comes back on."
He took the candle. "Thanks, Mom."
"No, thank you. If you hadn't gone to the store, we wouldn't be
standing here right now."
What was that supposed to mean? Standing where? At the top of
the stairs? In the flickering candlelight? Amongst the malformed
shadows? "It was no problem. But, uh, I'll think I'll head to bed
now." He faked a small yawn. "I'm awfully tired." Not again, that
could be mistaken as some sort of invitation...
He walked to his room before he could say anything else, the
candles painting crazy shadows on the walls. He made a quick detour
to the bathroom before going to his room though, some things just
couldn't wait.
He emerged from the bathroom, refreshed. The hall was empty, his
mother apparently having gone to bed. He didn't really like the
candle. The scent, while nice, was just too strong and heady while he
was carrying it. He went to his room, holding the candle as far away
from his face as possible. The first thing he saw when he opened the
door to his room were the pajamas laying on his bed.
He lost his breath and clutched the door frame. He didn't think
he would ever recover his breath, his heart thudding in his chest. He
let go of the frame and walked to the bed. Upon closer inspection, he
saw that they were only the bottoms. His throat tightened up and he
sat on his futon. He set the candle next to his clock.
Why? Why him? He asked himself that question more times a day
than he cared to remember, and each night he waited. He waited for
his mother to visit him. He had resigned himself to her actions, she
wouldn't be stopped. Especially when she knew the object of her
desires was powerless against her.
He took off his clothes, his chest still tight, but his eyes
downcast. He grabbed the pajamas and put them on, not caring if his
mother slept in his bed that night. He just didn't care anymore. If
she laid against him and put her hands on his bare chest, then he
would lay still, act dead, like he felt.
He got under the covers but didn't dare blow out the candle. He
fell asleep to the sound of thunder crashing outside and lightning
flashing through his shades.
***
It was another burst of thunder, shaking the house. Ryuuji was
roused from his sleep. He had been having a bad dream about his
father and his heart was beating fast. His breath was short and he
hadn't opened his eyes to see where he was. He didn't want to find
himself still in that dream. He didn't realize how much worse the
waking world could get.
He opened his eyes, taking in the sight of the candle. It seemed
awfully bright in his room for just one candle. He opened his eyes
wider, looking at that half of his room. On his dresser there were
two more candles, flickering slightly. Something was not equating in
his brain. He had gone to bed with one candle and was waking up with
three...
He rolled over to see his mother sitting in his bed. There was
another candle on the other table and another on his bookcase. She
was smiling at him gently. She wasn't in lingerie, she wasn't in a
nightie, she wasn't in anything. Ryuuji's mouth dropped open and he
tried to scramble out of the bed. Her hand on his arm stopped him.
"Stay, Ryu-chan." She was still smiling but it wasn't so gentle.
"But, Mom, you're..."
"I'm here for you, Ryu-chan. You're my son, you're a man... I
think it's about time you learned that." Her voice was quiet and
rational.
"But I know that... I don't want to..."
"Don't worry about it. You just let me do the work and then when
you get the hang of it, you can try it too."
Oh dear God. The hang of it? "But I can't..."
"You can, Ryu-chan. You started with that slut and now you're
going to finish... the right way." She lifted the bottle of baby oil
while she held onto his arm. "This might be a little cold at first."
She turned the bottle over above his chest and let the oil dribble
out.
It was cold and Ryuuji hissed at the touch of the liquid. He
tried to pull away, he should have been able to break her grip, but he
couldn't. She set down the bottle and rubbed his chest, smearing the
oil around. He tried to pull away again, but it seemed his strength
was draining away. It was like her hand was drawing all his energy
out, leaving him powerless.
"Don't fight it, Ryu-chan. I know you want it."
He closed his eyes and tried to break her grip one last time.
Because, God help him, he did. "Mom, it's just not right..." One
last battle. Losing this one meant losing so much more...
"It's not right for me to love my son? It's not right for me to
take care of you?" She shook her head. "It's just what we both
need." Her hand moved down, smearing oil on his stomach. She leaned
over and kissed him, her hand moving lower, working her fingers into
the waistband of his pajamas.
Ryuuji tried to jerk his hips back, but there just wasn't any
place left for him to go. He was about to roll off the bed when her
grip tightened. She had stopped kissing him and was looking into his
eyes. Her gaze held him.
"Don't do this to yourself. Just do whatever comes naturally."
She leaned over and was talking in his ear. "We'll have so much fun
and you'll feel so good." She nibbled on his ear. "Don't you trust
your mother?"
Ryuuji swallowed hard. His breathing was ragged and he was so
hard, he thought he was losing consciousness. He closed his eyes and
let his head fall back when she started kissing behind his ear. "I...
I... trust you..." That was it. He had given in, there was no
turning back. But it felt so good.
With his admission, spoken and otherwise, her hand went fully
into his pajamas. She caressed his length, knowing that he was
finally hers. Mind, body and soul. But she wasn't sure how fast to
go. Should she do it right away? It had been some long months
without any physical pleasure. Or should she take it a slower? Maybe
Ryuuji would learn to appreciate it then. He might even learn to like
it.
She picked up the bottle of oil again and squeezed more all over
his chest, then discarded it. She would build him up to the brink and
then do it. Even if she didn't get her own orgasm, to have him do his
again would be worth her time. He was so adorable when he called out
'Mom'.
She removed her hand from his cock and laid on top of him. The
oil made a deliciously slippery layer between them as Ryuuji put his
hands on his mothers back. She kissed him again and forced her tongue
into his mouth. He wasn't so scared and actually was able to
hesitantly use his tongue in return.
One of his hands moved down her back to rest on her rear,
squeezing, digging his fingers into the soft skin. His mother
squirmed on top of him, using the oil, and smearing it around with her
body. Ryuuji moaned into the kiss as his mothers breasts were
flattened against his skin and moved around. He could feel her
nipples, hard pebbles, press into his skin. It was the most erotic
thing he had ever experienced.
Her hands were on the sides of his chest, her thumbs gripping his
pectoral muscle. She had gone from simply moving around to grinding
herself against him. He felt the brush of her pelvis and pubic hair
on his stomach, periodically her feet would caress his legs. Then her
inner thigh would rub against his cock and almost cause him to spurt
into the air.
His mother kissed down his neck, back to his ear. "Almost, Ryu-
chan. Almost," she whispered. She had to watch him carefully to know
when he was ready. She didn't want him going off early.
He moaned again, writhing in pleasurable agony beneath her. How
could he have ever thought that his mother was wrong? She knew
exactly what to do to him to the point he wanted to cry out.
"Mommm... Please..." He gasped for breath as she slid down his body
to press his cock against her slit.
She attacked his Adam's apple before whispering. "If that's what
you want, Ryu-chan..."
He groaned in response. It wasn't what he wanted, he didn't want
his mother. But he was ready for a soapy washcloth by then and just
wanted to complete the deed that had been started. He gyrated his
hips, trying to find some relief and made his mother inhale sharply.
She forced herself to get off his body and reach for one of the
condoms. He had bought a box of nine, always the economist. It was
the best deal of the three available sizes. She opened the small
packet and removed the latex ring. She looked at his upright length,
seeing it was longer and thicker than his fathers; she smiled.
She put the condom on him, watching him quiver and shake the
entire time. "Oh, my handsome Ryu-chan... What would I do without
you?" She straddled his chest, stroking his cheek. Sliding
backwards, she watched his facial expression change from ecstasy to
longing. He let out a loud moan as he felt her sex dragged down his
stomach.
His mother sat up on her knees, waiting to descend on him. "Are
you ready, Ryu-chan?" She had one hand on him, pointing him up to her
opening.
He could only groan in response, his hands gripping anything they
came into contact with.
Slowly, she lowered herself onto him, his girth sliding into her
a centimeter at a time. Ryuuji had almost started to hyperventilate,
his breathing rapid and shallow. Only when she had taken him as far
as she could did his breathing regulate.
"Do whatever comes naturally, Ryu-chan," she said before she
started to move on him. She started with slow, sure movements until
Ryuuji began to practically buck his hips. She sped up, trying to
control his overly violent actions without killing his desire. She
had nothing to worry about.
He soon found his own rhythm and switched from fast and chaotic
to quick and powerful. One hand gripped the edge of his futon while
the other had a handful of sheet. His only thoughts were of the
immense pleasure assaulting him and how to make it better, how to
really get fucked.
"Come on, Ryu-chan. Just a little harder..." His mother had her
back arched and her head thrown back, gasping at the ceiling. She had
underestimated how nice it would be and found herself much closer to
orgasm than she anticipated. "Fuck me harder, Ryu-chan," she groaned.
"Harder... Mom," he responded, not really listening to what she
said, or caring what he said. He could only concentrate on the
immense build up in his body, focused on his groin. So close, he was
so close... He kept pumping, grinding away. So close, just a little
more...
She knew he didn't care about how he was making her feel, but he
was doing it all right. For his first real time, he was hitting every
spot, every area, rubbing and twisting at just the right times. Not
as experienced, but just as good as his fa... She moaned, long and
loud, every muscle in her body simultaneously locked as her orgasm
washed over her. She put her hands on his thighs just to have
something to hold on to and balance herself.
The hold on his cock suddenly tightened. He didn't know exactly
what had happened but it felt real good, so he kept going. And it
helped a lot too. He felt it start as a dribble then finish as a
flood. He lifted his hips as much as he could, trying to drive
himself deeper into his mother, grunting with the effort.
It was so much more complete than the other night. Her
encompassing warmth, and her body next to his. The contact of bare
skin, the scent of the candles wafting through the room, the rumble of
thunder around them...
Ryuuji dropped his hips back to the bed. His hands released the
sheets and futon and he relaxed in a spread eagle position. His
mother rolled off him and removed the spent condom. Spent? It was
overdrawn. She tossed it in the trash, then got out of the bed and
blew out all the candles except for one.
She slid back under the blanket then, and laid on top of Ryuuji's
arm. He mumbled something unintelligible, already mostly sleep. He
rolled towards her and put his other arm over her, keeping her in a
light embrace. She pulled up the blanket, covering them, and snuggled
against his bare body.
It felt nice to have a bed partner again that would hold her
through the night and do what she wanted. It felt nice to have the
arms of a man surround her naked body, to love her and protect her
against the cruelness of the world...
The Last Battle
A Darkfic
Ryuuji awakened slowly. He didn't feel tired as he
normally did, he felt refreshed. He smiled a little and opened
his eyes. The candle was still flickering at his bedside. The
storm had passed in the early morning, giving way to bright
sunshine. Birds could be heard singing outside.
There was a woman in his arms. She was naked, it was his
mother and he was very hard. His eyes snapped open wide and he
let out a strangled cry. Her head rested on his chest with both
her arms under his arms and holding his shoulders.
She stirred slightly when he cried out and nuzzled his
sternum. He pulled his hands off her back and laid very still.
He didn't want to wake her but he didn't want to stay there
either. His mind hadn't turned to what had happened during the
storm, it probably would have sent him screaming from the house.
Gently, he tried to pull his body away from hers without
disturbing her. The grip she had on his shoulders was
considerable though, and he just couldn't squirm away. He
grabbed the edge of his futon and tried to pull himself over,
then maybe he could get out from underneath her.
He was concentrating on moving himself when she spoke.
"Good morning."
He looked down at her, afraid of what he would see. If he
was lucky, it would be someone else there; it wouldn't be his
mother. He wasn't so lucky. He couldn't manage to make any words
come from his mouth; he could only look at her in horror. He
worked his mouth, trying to get something, anything out.
She smiled at him gently. "Don't say anything. You won't
be able to change what happened." She unhooked one of her arms
and ran her hand over his chest, watching its progress. "So how
was your first real time?"
Ryuuji thought he would die. Just what had he done? How
had he started it? His mind raced in a circle of why? and how?
building panic in his heart. He searched for some words that
would convey how he felt, but there weren't any that would
surface.
His mother was getting impatient. "Answer me. Did you
like it?" She was looking directly in his eyes. He wouldn't be
able to lie.
He nodded slightly. He was utterly ashamed that such an
awful act could bring him so much pleasure but if she caught him
in a lie... Especially to a direct question... Either way he was
most likely doomed to repeat the experience. If he lied, he'd be
punished, and be made to do chores during the day and at night...
And if he told the truth, he'd get it without the housework.
Her smile broadened, looking like a shark on a blood
trail. "I'm glad. You were so good, it was just what I needed."
She leaned up and kissed the underside of his chin. "I bet with a
little help, you'd be able to please me without even taking your
clothes off." Ryuuji felt all the blood drain from his face.
"Your father always could."
In his mind, Ryuuji cried. His stomach did a slow roll,
but if it was out of fear or anticipation, he wasn't sure anymore.
He exerted some control then and started to remove himself from
the futon, breaking his mothers grip. He felt a desperate need to
wash himself.
"It is getting a bit late." His mother pulled away from
him and got out of the bed herself. She had left the blanket
thrown back, exposing Ryuuji. He recovered himself and tried not
to watch his mother move around his room.
She moved with fluid grace that he had always known she
had, but never recognized. She blew out each candle and picked
her short, blue cotton robe off the back of a chair in the corner.
She slipped it on then started to leave the room. "I'll go make
some breakfast while you get ready." She gave him a reassuring
smile that he didn't much care for. She spotted something and
walked back to the futon. "I'll just keep these safe for later."
She picked up the unused condoms then left his room, humming.
Only after she was gone did Ryuuji find his voice. "No.
Not later. Why are you doing this to me? This isn't right," he
said to the empty doorway. His hormones were doing their best to
tell him the opposite though...
***
Two days later, Ryuuji returned to school. His mother had
gotten him the night after their 'first time' and had done things
to him he could never imagine his mother doing. The night after
that she had left him alone. She considered school an important
part of his life and had let him sleep.
It didn't help a whole lot. Even if he wasn't tired, he
still had to carry the knowledge that he was his mothers.. slave.
He didn't trudge through the day like he had been, he walked on
rice paper. The most innocent of questions set him on edge,
wondering if people could see what he had done, as if it was
written on his face.
He was no longer the 'boy whose father died' and nobody
went easy on him. His friends weren't just giving him room
anymore, they avoided him. His teachers weren't soft on him, they
were downright hostile. He sat alone at lunch, none of his
classmates caring about his feelings. He could really identify
his friends: he had none.
He pushed his lunch aside. He just didn't feel like
eating that day and he couldn't even force himself to eat it. He
sighed heavily, the self-pity threatening to consume him.
"Hi. Can I eat lunch with you?"
Ryuuji looked up at the voice. It was a girl and she was
smiling at him. He remembered the last girl that smiled at him
and how much trouble he had gotten into. He immediately
distrusted her. "If you want."
She sat across from him, her lunch still unopened. "I'm
glad. No one else will let me. You know there aren't a whole lot
of friendly students here."
Ryuuji studied her. She was a bit taller than his mother
(why did everything go back to her?) with hair to the middle of
her shoulder blades. She was smiling, it never faltered, and it
was never a smile of anything but friendliness. She was cute.
She had opened her lunch and started eating. Ryuuji
continued to stare at her, wondering if he should trust her. She
seemed friendly enough, but a lot of people were good at acting
friendly before they screwed you over.
She looked at him then, happily chewing away. She smirked
and blushed at his gaze. She looked back at her food, her blush
deepening. He was pretty good looking and he had talked to her.
Better than the other guys and girls. She blushed even harder,
attacking her food.
"You're a pretty hefty eater."
His words stunned her. She knew it was true, but most
people were polite enough to simply ignore it or rude enough to
leave. She swallowed and looked back at him. "Um, yeah." Her
smile had fallen a bit. "I've always been a 'healthy eater'.
That's what my mom called it. And no matter how much I eat, I
never really gain weight," she said with pride and embarassment.
He put on something that looked like a cross between a
smirk and a sneer. It was how he smiled anymore. "I wish I had
that problem."
She brightened at his comment. "It's nice, but hard to
make friends when they're all jealous."
He nodded absently. "Hard to keep friends..."
She nodded. "Well I guess I'm being rude. My name is
Katsura." She gave him a miniature bow.
"Oh, I'm Ryuuji." He returned her bow. He hadn't made
any new friends in longer than he could think.
"You're the first person that's told me their name. Glad
to finally meet someone."
"So you're new here?" He glossed over the fact that
Furinkan was about the worst place for anyone to make friends;
especially new students.
"Yeah. We moved here from Fukuoka. It's not too bad
here."
"Why did you come here?"
"My moms business moved her here, so of course everyone
had to pack up and go along. We were only in Fukuoka for a year
before anyway. I should be used to it, but I really liked it
there."
Pity she has to be here then. Ryuuji nodded solemnly. He
would like to be moved away from Furinkan, away from Nerima, away
from Tokyo. "Too bad."
Katsura nodded and turned back to her lunch.
***
The next day he was outside for lunch again. He hadn't
seen Katsura for the rest of the day the day before that and was
hoping she would find him. He hand't even opened his lunch and
was trying not to look like he was looking for someone.
"Hi. I thought I might find you here again." Katsura had
come up behind him and surprised him out of his socks.
He turned around quickly, responding to her voice. "Oh,
hi." He attempted to sound nonchalant. "Yeah, I was just about
to start my lunch."
"You don't mind, do you?" She was gesturing with her eyes
to the ground in front of him.
"No, go ahead." He watched her walk around and sit in
front of him. His earlier estimation had been wrong. She wasn't
cute, she was beautiful. He didn't know a whole lot about her,
almost nothing, but there was something about her that he was
drawn to.
He tore his eyes away from her and looked at his lunch.
He hadn't mentioned to his mother that he had met someone at
school, let alone that it was a girl. His mother would probably
go mad from jealousy then double her efforts on him. He
shuddered slightly and opened his lunch.
They spent the entire lunch period getting to know each
other better. Conversation that had been hesitant at first, was
flowing like they were old friends. Ryuuji found he could talk to
her with complete ease and never felt like she was scrutinizing
him.
She was smart and funny and had a cheerful personality.
No wonder she hadn't fit in. She had made him laugh with her
first impressions of her teachers and classmates. She did a real
good impression of Akimitsu, the most annoying student in school,
and chittered just like Fumiko when she was playing airhead.
"So, what about your parents?" she asked suddenly.
Ryuuji stopped. Why did she want to know about them? It
wasn't her concern... He had to slow himself down and build his
composure. "My dad's.. dead." She gasped. "A few months ago."
She put her hand on his arm. "So I... live... with my mom. We...
get along... fine."
She was looking at him with total sympathy. "I'm so
sorry."
He shrugged, looking at his feet. "It happens." Of
course, death was a natural part of life. But the rest of it...
All wrong! And he'd never be able to admit it to her. She'd
probably run away screaming, her hand over her mouth to stop
herself from throwing up. Or she'd go and tell everyone, then
they would never stop laughing at him.
Ryuuji felt sick to his stomach. He would never be able
to have her as a close friend. Close friends were supposed to be
able to tell each other everything, but he would never be able to
tell anyone about his home life. Just how do you go about
explaining that every weekend, instead of being with her husband,
your mother sleeps with you? And you let her.
"Um, I'm not feeling too well. I think I need to go to
the infirmary." He stood quickly, just needing to get away from
everyone, from himself.
"Do you want me to go with you?" Katsura stood up beside
him, her hand on his shoulder.
"No. Just finish lunch, I don't want to make you late or
anything." He stumbled off, pulling away from her hand.
She watched him go then started to sit again. "Hey! What
about your... lunch." He had already disappeared inside.
***
Katsura found that she could talk easily with Ryuuji. He
was attentive when she was speaking, not loud and boisterous like
most boys. He had the most soulful eyes, so dark and expressive.
She could see a lot of pain in them, pain that he always tried to
hide. But not with just her. Sometimes she would see him after
school, staying away from the other students with that hurt in his
eyes.
And she couldn't help but notice how good looking he was
when he smiled, which was not often enough. So she took every
opportunity to make him do it, doing all the bad impressions and
telling all the jokes she knew, no matter how stupid.
She couldn't make him tell her why he was in so much pain.
He wouldn't even admit that there was anything wrong. It
frustated her endlessly that she wanted to know more about him but
he refused to open up. She attributed it to his loss of his
father, but knew there was something else too.
She only saw him at lunch, he never arrived at school
early and he always left late. She tried to wait for him one day,
but after an hour, she decided to head home herself. She wanted
to get to know him, but if he wouldn't help her, there was nothing
she could do.
Her time at Furinkan, while relatively short, had been
both frustrating and exhilarating. The lunch times she spent with
Ryuuji were the highlights of her day and he had even talked about
going to the movies with her that weekend. She only hoped her
family would actually be able to stay long enough for her to
possibly get more serious with Ryuuji. Whenever her thoughts
turned there, she blushed.
***
"So what's your mom like?" She couldn't help but ask. He
never mentioned anything about his family except that first time.
"She's... she's my mom." He shrugged. This was not
something he wanted to be talking about. He knew he would slip
and say something and Katsura would know everything. And then he
would lose his only friend. He didn't want to lose his friend.
She was looking at him carefully. He wouldn't be able to
hide for too much longer, she was too smart. She looked at him
too closely. "Oh. Well, I just couldn't imagine losing either
one of my parents. I was just wondering, you know, how you two
get along," Katsura tried to play down her question.
"We get along fine. I mean, she's my mom. How should we
get along?" Definitely not like they did last weekend... Ryuuji
shivered slightly.
Katsura saw the shiver but decided not to make a point of
it. His mother appeared to be what he was so upset about even
though he was protecting her. Katsura decided to let the
questions go and just be his friend. Friends seemed like a hard
thing to come by at Furinkan anyway.
***
Instead of leaving or waiting outside, Katsura actively
sought Ryuuji after school. She looked through the entire school,
avoiding a group of rough looking students getting.. shaved? by
the principal. She found him in an empty classroom. "Can I come
in?"
"Sure. I was just looking outside. Mr. Fujiyama lets me
use the room until he leaves." Ryuuji sat silently on s desk, his
gaze directed through the window at some treetops.
"Oh." Katsura walked over and sat on an adjacent desk.
"Do you know how weird the principal is here? I mean, I saw him
shaving some kids in the hall..."
Ryuuji chuckled. "Yeah. I'm surprised no one warned you
about that. Just don't break any rules and you'll be fine."
"Can I ask you something?" She knew being so forward was
usually frowned on, but damn it! Just waiting for life to happen
to her was wrong.
"Sure." He was still staring out the window, his full
attention not on her.
"Do you like me?"
"What?" He turned to her, surprise on his face. "Of
course I like you. You're my only friend."
"No. I mean do you really like me?"
Ryuuji felt the life drain from his face. Like her? What
was she trying to ask? She couldn't possibly like him.,
could she? "Uh..."
"Because I really like you. You're my only friend and you
were nice to me when no one else would be. I like you a lot and
can't stand to see you so upset all the time."
"I'm not upset all the time!" Desperation denial. She
couldn't know!
"You don't have to hide it. You can tell me what's wrong.
It won't change how much I like you because I like you for your
personality. You're kind and sweet and smart and caring..."
"No! You don't know what you're saying! I'm not any of
that! You'd be better just to leave me alone and forget I ever
said anything to you." That would save both of them the
humiliation and pain.
"I'll do no such thing. I just want you to be happy. And
I want to know how you feel about me." She sat on the desk he
was, still looking in his eyes. "These past two weeks have been
better than any other I can remember, and it's because of you.
You're not like any other guy I've known and I want you to be
happy. I want you let me help you be happy. Please?"
He leaned back a bit. She was so close, her leg touching
his. He couldn't let her get poisoned like he was; he had to
protect her. "I... I like you a lot. But I just couldn't..."
"That's all I wanted to know. As long as you feel the
same way about me that I feel about you..." She leaned forward
and kissed him. It was her first kiss; moving around so much
never gave her a chance to get to know any guys well enough to
kiss them, or even like them enough to do it. Two weeks with
Ryuuji, though, seemed like a lifetime. Enough for her to know
she wanted to be more than friends.
She didn't really notice when Ryuuji stopped moving
completely. She had her eyes closed and didn't see his eyes bug
out of his head. He was in real trouble now. She would know for
sure that he had been doing bad things, she'd be able to tell by
the kiss.
He broke from his paralysis and slid off the desk. "I'm
sorry, Katsura. I just can't..." She looked surprised, but
nothing more. "I just can't do it. I'm not good enough for you.
I'm not good enough for anyone." He was wringing his hands,
trying to prevent himself from confessing everything.
"I don't know what's wrong and you won't tell me, but I
don't care. And if you're not comfortable enough to kiss me,
that's OK. I understand." She smiled at him, hiding the
disappointment that she felt. She didn't say anything else.
"You don't... care?" How could she not care? He was
sick and perverted. He was dirty and could only infect others
with it.
She shook her head. "No. I just want to be there for
you. And maybe, some time you'll be able to kiss me." She
blushed lightly at her admission.
Ryuuji stared. He rushed forward and took Katsura in his
arms. She was still his friend, she didn't care how awful he was.
After a moment, Katsura returned his hug, not seeing the tears in
his eyes.
***
"Mom?"
"Yes, Ryu-chan? What is it?"
"Um, this weekend.. I was wondering if I could..."
"What is it, Ryu-chan? Just spit it out."
"I was wondering if it would be OK for me to go to the
movies?"
"Sure. Just don't get home too late."
"I won't, Mom." He let out the breath he had been
holding. One tiny step towards freedom, very tiny. But he had to
start somewhere. The fact that she even let him go was enough to
make Ryuuji want to shout for joy.
He settled for going outside and running around the block
as fast as he could.
***
"That was a good movie. That one part scared me." Well,
not really scared, but surprised enough that when she had grabbed
his arm, it had seemed like it was innocent.
"Yeah. I didn't think it would end like that, with
everyone dying." They walked down the street, back towards
Katsuras house. Ryuuji hated to leave so early, but if he didn't
get home on time then, he would never get to leave the house
again.
"Yep." Smalltalk exhausted, they walked in silence.
Katsura swung her arms lightly, occasionally brushing Ryuujis.
She slowed down the swing and worked her hand into his. When she
felt him grip it tightly, she smiled and looked at him.
He was very nervous. He was holding her hand. Hers was
warm and soft, while his was cold and clammy, but it felt nice.
He was amazed that something so simple could make him feel so nice
inside. He looked over at her, a bit surprised. She was still
smiling at him; she felt the same way about it.
Ryuuji stopped walking and faced Katsura. "Katsura, I..."
He just couldn't make himself finish the sentence.
"What is it, Ryuuji?" What was it he was trying to tell
her?
"I... I..." What was he trying to say? He couldn't
confess, not there in the middle of the sidewalk. "I think I'm in
love with you, Katsura."
Katsura's mouth dropped open. "You're.. you.. You mean
it?" It was the most coherent thing she could muster.
Ryuuji nodded. He only hoped she would understand how he
felt and that he just couldn't tell her everything. Yet.
A small tear appeared in the corner of one her eyes. "I
feel the same way!" She hugged him, putting her face into his
shoulder, trying to hide her tears of happiness. It had all been
so sudden, her feelings so strong. She had never felt like she
did about Ryuuji.
She swallowed hard, trying to stop the tears when he
didn't just hug her, but surrounded her with his arms. She felt
on the verge of breaking into full-fledged crying, breathing
heavily through her nose, trying to control her emotions, the
tears coming a little more swiftly.
She released her hold and looked at Ryuujis face. He
didn't look all that happy, there was still so much pain, but the
sincerity in his voice was all Katsura needed to hear.
"What's wrong?" Ryuuji asked, alarmed at her tears.
"Nothing, I'm just happy." She smiled and wiped her eyes
on her arm, sniffling slightly.
"Oh." He sounded confused. Crying because she's happy?
He only ever cried because he was miserable and wished he was
dead. He cried over his father... And his mother. And now
Katsura was crying because of him. "Please don't cry. It makes
me feel bad."
She laughed and wiped her eyes again. "I can't help it.
I feel like a fool, crying in the street like this, but you just
made me really happy."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry! You shouldn't be sorry for making me
happy."
"OK, but I'm still sorry for making you cry."
Katsura couldn't help but laugh again. Ryuuji was so
innocent, like a little kid.
"Um, Katsura?" He was looking at her very intently.
"Yes, Ryu-chan?"
He flinched at the name. "Please don't call me that.
That's what my mom calls me."
"Sorry. Yes, Ryu?"
He visibly relaxed. "I was wondering if we.. could.. you
know... Try again?"
Katsura was a bit confused. "Try what? Oh! If you want
to." She didn't want to sound too passive but she didn't want to
scare him off either. A reassuring smile appeared on her face.
{Lara's note: sorry for all the mush.. too much Marmalade Boy
soundtrack. =) Now back to the perversion...}
Ryuuji gulped and leaned his head down, trying to block
out all thoughts of his mother. Katsura tilted her head up and
met his lips.
At first, Ryuuji just couldn't get his mother out of his
head. He wanted to pull away from the kiss and wipe his mouth
off. He just couldn't stop thinking that he was kissing his
mother in public. But for Katsuras sake, he tried his best.
He knew this wasn't his mother, but it was so hard to just
forget the past month. He didn't put a lot of feeling into the
kiss, but it seemed Katsura wasn't too experienced and was just
keeping it to a gentle suction of the lips. For that, Ryuuji was
grateful. If she had tried to use her tongue, he couldn't predict
what he might have done.
Katsura pulled back, her eyes still closed. She felt him
holding back, but appreciated his effort. As first kisses go, it
wasn't too bad. She opened her eyes slowly and saw him looking at
her worriedly. Instead of saying anything, she embraced him. Even
if he didn't understand, he was well worth the effort to try and
make him.
***
"Did you have a good time at the movie?"
"Yes, Mom."
"That's good." She watched him remove his shoes and
jacket. "I want you to come upstairs when you're done." She
disappeared upstairs.
Ryuuji sighed. He had known this would happen, but was
hoping that just this one night... He started to remove his pants
and shirt. When he was wearing only the dark purple boxer shorts
his mother had bought him, he put his clothes in on the washing
machine and headed upstairs.
TWO HOURS LATER...
Ryuuji returned to his room, holding the boxers in one
hand, steadying himself on the door with the other. He wasn't so
shell-shocked anymore and didn't fall sleep afterwards like he had
before. Of course, then he couldn't just try and think of it as a
bad dream either.
Sometimes, when his mother would come to his room, she
would stay the entire night. But he was allowed to return to his
own room when it happened in her room, he had to be thankful for
small favors. He could still hear her compliments. 'You've
gotten so good, Ryu-chan' He shut the door and tossed the boxers
on the floor. 'Even better than your father, Ryu-chan' He got
under the blanket and curled up. 'You make me feel so good,
Ryu-chan' He thought of Katsura and how understanding she had
been. 'I know you liked it, Ryu-chan' No, he'd never be good
enough for someone like Katsura. 'I love you, Ryu-chan'
***
"I'm going out to lunch. Meet some friends downtown."
"OK, don't be late."
"I won't." Ryuuji stepped outside. His mother had
accepted his renewed interest in going out more. She had asked
him who he was going to meet and he had replied simply 'friends
from school'. It seemed to placate her. Of course, that night
she had been a bit rough with him, and left him with bruises in a
few choice places.
He put that memory and the memory of the previous night
away. It would only ruin his mood and make Katsura worry about
him. The day shared his current mood, it was sunny and warm and
all together pleasant. But the day always ended and night would
come...
***
"That one." Katsura pointed at a guy with green hair
walking past the window.
"Yeah right. My mom would kill me. Why don't you do it?"
"What? That's just not proper. I couldn't go around with
green hair."
"But it's OK for me to?"
"Sure. People expect guys to look freaky. That's just
how it is."
"Sounds pretty sexist to me."
"Same thing women have been saying for a looong time."
"Touche."
***
He walked in the house with only minutes to spare. He had
stayed out longer than he anticipated but as long as he was back
by curfew, he was fine. He took off his shoes and headed to the
downstairs bathroom.
He didn't notice until he came out that the house was
abnormally quiet. All the lights were out, which was fairly
unusual for being so early on a Saturday. Maybe his mother was
out.
Ryuuji headed upstairs to wait for his mother. If he went
to sleep before 11 and she had to wake him up, it made her angry.
So he usually waited in his room, listening to CDs, until 11, when
he would try to sleep. The hall was dark, which wasn't strange,
until Ryuuji noticed the light in his mothers room was off.
He looked at her closed door for a moment, wondering if he
should knock. He dismissed that idea and went to his room. He
opened his door and stopped when he saw his mother waiting for him
on his bed.
Not like she normally did though. All the lights were
off, except for his reading light, lighting her from behind. She
was fully dressed with none of the extras she normally brought.
But the worst thing was the look on her face. He had seen all her
moods, angry, happy, sad, everything. She looked was looking at
him with distaste at the moment. It was what she saved for work,
when dealing with someone that owed money.
It had never been directed at him until that point.
Ryuuji almost collapsed to his knees; there was something terribly
wrong that he had done. He shook his head a little, trying to
deny whatever she would accuse him of.
"I saw you today, Ryuuji." His full name, BIG trouble.
"I saw you with someone." Oh no, she must have been in town when
they were at lunch. Katsura! "I saw you with a girl."
"I'm sorry, Mom! She just sat down with me! I didn't
know her! I didn't!" He had given up trying to run a long time
ago. "Please believe me, Mom!"
"I don't believe you, Ryuuji. Is this who you've been
going out with every weekend? Is it that little slut?"
"She's not a slut, Mom! She's just a friend. She's my
only friend!" She was going to make his friend go away.
"She must be a slut to sit so close to you. Nice girls
don't do that."
"She's not a slut! Don't talk about her that way!"
"Don't talk back to me. You will stop consorting with her
starting this very instant. I will not tolerate any trash like
that near you."
"Katsura's not trash! Don't talk about her that way!
Just leave her alone!"
"Oh, so Katsura is her name? I didn't think sluts and
prostitutes used their real names. How could you want to be near
a girl that uses aliases so no one finds out how many guys she's
fucked?"
"I love her! Stop talking about her that way! I won't
let you say things like that!" He wanted to jump at his mother
and choke her, but found his feet rooted to the floor.
"You love her? I don't think so. You've just been fooled
by another cheap thrill." His mother stood and walked towards
him. "Don't you see, no one is capable of loving you because you
belong to me. Only me. That will never change." She walked past
him and out into the hall. Ryuuji heard her door open then slam
shut.
Finally, he dropped to the floor, all his anger
transformed in an instant into sorrow. He cried then, the entire
night he laid on the floor sobbing with self-hatred and shame.
His mother was right. No one would ever love him.
***
"Ryu, I have to leave."
"What? Leave? Where, when, for how long?"
"Very soon. We're moving back to Kyoto to live with my
grandparents. My mom lost her job and we can't afford to stay
here anymore." Katsura was crying; she had lost the closest thing
to love she had ever found.
"No! You can't leave me!" Ryuuji sprung to his feet and
put his arms around Katsura. "You can't leave me like this!"
"I don't have a choice. My mom doesn't have a job and my
dad doesn't have one around here yet. We're forced to move out in
two days."
Ryuuji was shaking his head. "No, you can't. I won't let
you. I need you here with me."
"I'm sorry, I want to stay but there's nothing I can
do..." She tried not to cry then changed her mind and let the
tears flow. "I love you," she whispered to him.
***
Ryuuji walked in the house. Katsura had gone home,
needing to pack her things. She had immediatelly withdrawn from
school, she would be far too busy with her family to worry about
something so mundane. He ripped off his shoes and threw them to
the floor.
He started to drop his bag then hurled it into the next
room. he ran up the stairs, his feet thumping heavily. He ran
into his room and fell on his futon. He wanted to cry, he really
did, but he couldn't squeeze any out.
"Ryu-chan, what's wrong?"
Ryuuji looked back at his mother. "Katsura has to leave."
"Oh, that's too bad."
Ryuujis eyes narrowed at her reply. "What is that
supposed to mean?"
"Just that it's too bad."
"You..." He sat up and glared at his mother. "You had
something to do with it, didn't you?"
"Why, Ryu-chan, I have no idea what you're talking about."
She sounded innocent enough, but Ryuuji knew better.
"It was you. Why are you ruining my life? Why can't you
leave me alone?" He knew her answer before she said it, knew it
was fruitless to argue.
"First of all, I didn't do anything. Second of all, I do
my best to protect you. You don't know anything about the real
world. You think it's all romance and movies on the weekends.
Well I've got some news for you, life really sucks. You should
just be thankful I love you enough to take care of you like I do.
Lots of parents don't take that much interest in the well-being of
their children."
Ryuuji shrank back at her outburst. Though with her, it
wasn't so much an outburst as a carefully calculated maneuver to
make him break down. And it worked.
"I'm.. I'm sorry, Mom." He looked at the floor. That one
tiny step he had taken towards freedom... he had just taken a mile
hike back.
"I'm glad you understand. A lot of teenagers just don't
realize how tough the world is until it's too late. So don't
think I'm mad at you, I just want what's best."
"I understand, Mom." Apparently, he was what was best.
"Excellent. Now after all that, I'm feeling a bit
stressed out."
Ryuuji began to remove his shirt...
END
Love and Understanding
"Ryu-chan."
"Yes, Mom."
"I want you to sleep in here every night."
"OK, Mom."
He didn't sound very sincere. I didn't want him to do it
just because I wanted him to; I wanted him to want it." "Is that
all?"
"He stared at me with that flat gaze. I wanted him so bad
right then. "Yeah."
"Ryu-chan, if you don't want to, just say it."
"No, Mom. I want to."
I wasn't convinced and it didn't seem like he was either.
"I'll see you tonight, Ryu-chan. Have a nice day."
"OK, Mom. You too."
So I left and didn't feel very good about the day. I wish
he wasn't so afraid to tell me how he feels; he still doesn't feel
this is an equal partnership. He's still holding on to his father
and it's hurting him.
Don't get me wrong. I loved his father like no other man,
but he's gone and there's nothing that will bring him back. A lot
of people would think that what I did was sick and wrong. I would
have said the same thing a year ago, but all things change. I'm
not proud, but I had (and still do) sexual desires like anyone.
It just so happened that it was Ryu-chan I wanted to take care of
those desires ever since his father died.
So what's wrong with crying? Am I not allowed to? I
still love my husband and always will. Ryu-chan will never take
his place, no one will. It's just that we provide each other with
the things we need; just like a family should. I just wish I
could get Ryu-chan to loosen up and make him stop hurting.
Maybe it's time to let him act like a real man. He is a
legal adult now, it's time to let him take some responsibility.
It'll be tough on me, but I think I can hold off for a while.
Maybe then, Ryu-chan will realize...
***
It's been three weeks. Three weeks without sweet Ryu-chan
in my arms, without him between my legs, without him moaning
beneath me. Shit, I shouldn't be saying this. It's getting me
all horny. And I've got to hold off, to make Ryu-chan take the
initiative.
Maybe tonight... I can always hope. Now, if you'll
excuse me, I have... something to take care of.
***
So what's wrong if I'm smiling? Yeah, he did it last
night, and let me tell you: it was fabulous. I think he
understands now; he seemed a lot happier this morning than he has
in a long time. And that makes me happy.
How? What are you, a pervert? Well, I suppose I'll tell
you... For a small fee.
***
It had been a hard day. The business I'm in is rough on a
44 year old woman. So when I got home, I kicked off my shoes and
dumped all my stuff by the door. There were noises coming from
the kitchen, which I assumed Ryu-chan was making.
"I'm home," I called.
"The will be some dinner in a few minutes," he replied.
Ryu-chan was excellent at everything he applied himself
to. He could cook like Kasumi if he really wanted to. I always
assumed he liked to cook, he did it so well and he never
complained about it.
I went into the dining room to take a seat at the table,
but it was clear. I looked towards the kitchen to see what he had
planned; sometimes he liked to play little games and have some
really strange food ready.
"Ryu-chan, what are you..."
He walked out of the kitchen, cutting my words off.
"Mom, why don't you go upstairs and change? You've got to
be uncomfortable still in your work clothes. The food should be
ready by the time you're done."
His voice was strangely mischievous. "OK, Ryu-chan.
I'll go change. Anything specific you want me to wear?"
"Whatever you want. I don't care."
Not the response I was hoping for. I went upstairs and
into my bedroom, that I wished was our bedroom, and sat on my bed,
that I wished was our bed, and felt crappy all over. But that's a
dangerous thing to let myself fall into, so I quickly put a stop
to it.
I got up and went to the dresser. He didn't care... That
made me feel like shit. He just thought I wanted to screw him
every night; he didn't realize how much I really needed him. I
pulled out some shorts and a sweatshirt; I didn't plan on going
anywhere.
I looked at the clock. 6:15. Another day, another
million yen. And tomorrow would be the same. How could Ryu-chan
not realize how important he was to me?
I started to leave when Ryu-chan appeared in my door. He
was carrying a tray and he was wearing the cutest pair of soccer
shorts a mother could ever ask for, and nothing else. They sagged
and hugged in all the right places, leaving just enough to the
imagination...
"Sit down, Mom."
"OK, Ryu-chan." I sat down on the end of the bed.
He walked up and sat down next to me, setting the tray on
the bed next to him. "Are you hungry?" he asked.
I nodded, feeling like I was going to drown in his eyes.
"Here, have some of this." He held a fork out near my
mouth.
I took his offering; it was strawberry cheesecake. When
did he ever learn to make cheesecake?
"Do you like it?"
Did I detect doubt in his voice? Was he actually seeking
my approval? I finished the bite and nodded. "It's excellent."
He visibly relaxed. "I'm glad." He reached over to the
tray again. "Try this." He had something between his fingers.
It was some sort of raspberry and chocolate pastry. All
the time I ate, I was looking in his eyes and I could see the
spark... The spark I had always dreamed of. "Ryu-chan, when did
you..."
"Don't talk, Mom. Just relax. Let me take care of you."
"I thought that was my line," I said, smiling at him.
"Not tonight. Now lay down... if you don't mind."
"I don't mind." I laid back on the bed and watched him.
He most definitely had something in mind.
He never moved from his spot, but began to massage my
feet. "How was work?" he asked.
"Just fine. And how was your day?"
"OK. I saw grandpa after school."
"How was he?" He moved up to massage my calves.
"Good. I was surprised. He was really active."
"That's good to hear." I had closed my eyes and was
enjoying his skillful hands. I could feel him lightly hitting all
the... extracurricular pressure points, and I could feel my body
responding.
"Mom. Why did you..." His voice was hesitant. "Why did
you stop?"
"Stop what, Ryu-chan?"
"Why did you stop... with me? Did you find someone else?
Did you find a new man to replace me? Am I too young?"
His hands had stopped. SO he was worried if I had found a
new love. "No, Ryu-chan. You're still the only man for me."
There was a noise and I opened my eyes. Ryu-chan had his
head down and was gripping my legs. His shoulders were shaking.
It looked like he was crying.
"Ohh, Mom." He WAS crying. "I thought you didn't love me
any more. I... I thought you would make me leave..."
I immediately sat up and tried to pull him to me. "No,
Ryu-chan, no. I won't ever make you leave. And I won't ever stop
loving you. Come here."
He crawled up my body and hung his head over my shoulder.
He was shaking badly and trying hard to not cry. He wasn't
succeeding.
"Shh... It's OK, baby. You've got nothing to be scared
of," I said then kissed his neck. "You'll always be by my side."
That seemed to help and he settled down. "Mom, I don't
ever want that to happen again. I don't ever want to feel that
way; I don't ever want to think you don't love me..."
I kissed his neck again. "You won't Ryu-chan. Just
remember that I will always love you, no matter what."
We held each other like that for I don't know how long,
but it was so nice and comforting. I kept kissing his neck, and
soon, he turned his head and met me.
They started out slow and tender, but very soon his
nakedness and my wanton desires turned them into something
dirtier.
Suddenly, he pulled away and looked at me.
"What's wrong, Ryu-chan?"
"Nothing. I want you to take your clothes off, Mom."
"Ryu-chan!" He had sounded so authoritative, like he was
actually ordering me.
"Take your clothes off, Mom."
"Is that an order?"
"Yes, Mom. Now do it." Not harsh but commanding. He
expected me to do it.
Ryu-chan got off me and I sat up. I took my clothes off,
not fast, but I didn't give a show either.
Ryu-chan wasn't much for romance, he had never learned
how, so when I was naked he told me to lay down. I figured he was
just going to use me the way I had used him for so long and be
done with it. I couldn't complain, I deserved it.
"Close your eyes, Mom."
"What?"
"Close your eyes, Mom, or I'll have to use a blindfold."
A blindfold? I knew he had something out of the ordinary
planned then. I closed my eyes and resisted the overwhelming urge
to peek.
He got off the bed and there was a rustling sound. I
hoped it was him taking his shorts off. Then he got back on the
bed and straddled my body. I could feel he had taken his shorts
off, and he was sitting on my stomach.
"Are you still hungry, Mom?" His voice was quiet and
loving.
"Yes, Ryu-chan. I haven't eaten since lunch."
"Then open your mouth so I can feed you, Mom."
I had a pretty good idea where this was going. Like I
said, he's not the most romantic thing. So I opened my mouth and
waited for the inevitable.
As I expected, he moved up my body until his knees were
tucked into my armpits. He lifted his weight off me, then slowly,
a bit hesitantly, I could feel him try to work his tool in my
mouth. I heard his hands on the wall above me, and he finally got
the head in.
"Suck me off, Mom."
I took hold of the back of his thighs and took his entire
length in my mouth. He jerked his hips a little, never having
experienced a blow job before.
I worked my fingers into the meat of his legs, worked
my tongue along the bottom of his shaft and sucked on him. I
could hear him breathing heavy and every so often he would buck
his hips.
I forced his hips back, letting my tongue play along his
cock as it emerged from my mouth. I slid my hands up and grabbed
his ass, squeezing it, then pulled him forward.
I engulfed him to the hilt, and my nose was filled with
his clean, healthy musk. I sucked gently and bobbed my head,
getting him with my teeth and the roof of my mouth, while my
tongue swirled all around him.
He gasped and jerked his hips back. With only the head in
my mouth, I could taste his pre-cum and knew he was almost done
for. I set my tongue to work on his extra sensitive head as his
whole body began to quiver.
I moved my hands down a little so my fingertips were in
the junction between his butt and his thighs. I pulled him
forward slowly and tried to suck him into my mouth. He moaned
tremulously and thrust his hips forward, driving his cock in until
it hit the back of my throat.
I started on one of the more advanced techniques for
sucking a dick and actually tried to swallow him whole. The
sensation was too much for him and without a word, he shot his
load down my throat.
I swallowed it completely and licked him clean as he
withdrew. I hoped he got everything he wanted; he was fairly
inexperienced, other than the basic stuff he got from me.
He got off my chest and laid down in the bed next to me.
I watched him shrink back to limpness and lay there like he was a
corpse.
"So, Ryu-chan, was it everything you hoped for?" I asked
teasingly.
He nodded and opened his eyes slowly. "M... Mom. That
was awesome."
I smirked. Nothing I've ever done has been described as
awesome. "now, Ryu-chan, what about you? Are you hungry?"
He sat up his hair a mess though I don't know how. "Yeah,
Mom, but I want to start with dessert." he reached down to the
end of the bed and pulled the tray towards him. I was annoyed
until he got a spoonful of strawberries and juice and dropped it
on my chest...
***
Trust me. My son has quite an imagination. His father
was never that imaginative... but his father had me do all the
thinking for him.
Later, after we made love, and I don't mean just hot,
steamy sex like some people believe making love is... After we
made love like we never had before... I do mean never. With
Ryu-chan finally understanding what I wanted from him (his heart)
and able to come to terms with his father's death (something he
had never let go of), he gave himself fully to me. And I gave
myself to him. We consummated our new relationship last night.
Each of us put our entire soul into it... And after we took a
bath (in our bathroom), and got ready for bed (in our bedroom), we
both laid down (in our bed) in each other's arms.
At that moment, I didn't care if he was my son, my
husband, my father, my brother, a complete stranger... All that
mattered was that he loved me.
All I could think was how much I loved him and how happy I
was that it wasn't all a dream. And when I woke up this morning,
and he was still holding me... I knew everything would be all
right.
Education
"No, baby. Up a little more." She guided his fingers so he
could feel what she was talking about.
She sucked in a breath as his fingers hit the spot she had been
directing him to. He smiled a little.
"Yeah... That's it. Don't stop." She began to arch her back,
thrusting her hips slightly as he continued with his hand
manipulations. "Oh... oh..."
He leaned forward and took one nipple into his mouth, sucking
gently.
"Don't stop. Please don't stop." She was taking deep, gasping
breaths. "Don't... You stopped."
He looked into her eyes, releasing her nipple from his mouth.
"More. I want to know more."
Breathing heavily and glaring slightly, she shook her head.
"More? You haven't even finished this one ye..."
His fingers were suddenly in motion, swirling slightly,
thrusting into her, and she could no longer speak as a wave of
pleasure hit her. She cried out and grabbed on to his bare arms,
digging her fingers into his flesh deeply.
Her entire body was out of control as he continued the
stimulation of her hyper-sensitive nerves. She tossed her head back
and forth, arched her back, thrust her hips and moaned loudly as he
continued.
"Jeez," he said, momentarily teasing her nipple again with his
tongue, "I didn't know you were still so flexible, Mom."
Education
Part 9
Ryuuji flopped on the bed next to his mother. "I didn't know it
was so... complicated," he said, staring at the ceiling.
She chuckled and ran her finger down his chest. "You are too,
but most boys just never seem to learn how much fun all the extra
sensation can be." She smiled and ran her finger over the layer of
sweat on his chest. "I think I'm finished for the night. You have
school tomorrow anyway."
Ryuuji sighed dramatically. "Yeah, I suppose."
His mother laughed and kissed him on the cheek. "Don't worry,
Ryu-chan. You won't be there forever."
"Mom, are you sure you're..." Ryuuji gesture vaguely. "I'm
still..."
"Sorry, Ryu-chan. You wore me out. I'm not as young as I used
to be."
He pouted. "I suppose. Sometimes I just can't... I need it,
you know?" He hated that feeling because it was just so embarrassing,
having to walk around with a giant hard on like that.
"I know. I'm sorry. Tomorrow we can try something else. But
we both need our sleep now."
"I don't know if I can like this, Mom." Ryuuji rolled back over
and put his arm across her chest. He scooted over so their bodies
were against each other. "Come on, just a little..."
"No, Ryu-chan. It's too late; I'm too tired."
Ryuuji frowned a little, looking at his mother. "Mom..."
"I said no!"
"I said, I need it. Now. You got what you wanted, now I want
something in return. You gave me this," he said angrily, pressing his
erection against her thigh, "so now you have to take care of it."
"Ryuuji Te..."
He wasn't waiting for her any longer. He shut her up by kissing
her and thrusting his tongue into her mouth.
She fought to separate herself from him, pushing against his
chest, but he straddled her and pinned her down with his body.
Ryuuji started to slide his body down, wriggling subtly so he
could finally get some relief from her. He ended the kiss and met his
mother's angry gaze. "I thought you were tired? So stop moving
around already."
Instead of letting him have his way, she continued to struggle,
more annoyed that he was disobeying and that she had lost control of
the situation. "You little brat. Get out of here! You think I'd
just let you do whatever you wanted? Not after that little show."
Actually, Ryuuji was beginning to enjoy the little game he was
playing with his mother. She wriggled so deliciously as he held her
wrists, he wasn't about to let her go. "C'mon, Mom. It's not so
bad."
"What the hell are you talking about? Let me go!"
"Mom," Ryuuji said quietly, "I don't understand why you're
fighting me. It'll only take a little bit."
"That is not the point any longer! God damn it, you listen to
me!"
Ryuuji slammed her hands back on the bed. "NO! You listen to
ME! How dare you refuse me when you practically RAPED me! You knew!
It wasn't like I agreed to be your little bitch; you just TOOK
everything from me and didn't care how much you hurt me!"
"Ryuuji, I never..."
"Don't lie to me!" he yelled. "You damn well knew what you were
doing! You would have never been able to manipulate me like you did
if you didn't know what you were doing. I'm not stupid!" There were
tears of anger and hurt in his eyes as he yelled.
"Don't you see? I would have done anything for you before, and
I'd do anything for you now... But you didn't even _think_, did you?
I wasn't a person to you. Dad died and I was your convenient little
sex toy. And you used me like I wasn't alive, like I really was just
a toy, and you have no idea..."
Ryuuji turned his head and tried to wipe his eyes on shoulder,
the tears hot and stinging. "You don't have a clue how much you hurt
me..."
He released his mother's wrists and sat up straight, wiping his
eyes. "And now... you don't even care. You never cared." Ryuuji
crawled off the bed, slipped on a shirt and pants, and left.
The park at night was his sanctuary. Peace, silence, alone with
only his thoughts. Oftentimes, he shut even those out and became one
with the darkness around him. It was what he was doing that night,
the air still, and even the cicadas were quiet.
It was tranquil to the point of frozen.
"I thought I'd find you here."
"Leave me alone, Mom. I don't give a fuck anymore. I'm
leaving."
"Don't say that." A whisper of the grass and a hand on his
shoulder. "You don't need to leave."
"I do. I have to. It's just not working out. It... we
shouldn't have ever..." Ryuuji shook his head. "It's never been
right to do it, and you knew it. And I knew it. But I couldn't fight
you then, and I won't fight you now. It just has to end."
"No, Ryu-chan, it doesn't need to. Just tell me what the
problem is. If it's something I'm doing, then just tell me.
Anything." She kneeled at his side, her hand on his forearm.
"It's not right!"
"You know that's a lie. If you asked, no one would be able to
tell you why it was wrong, just that it was. Get over that and then
tell me what's wrong."
Ryuuji leaned his forehead on his arms. "I don't know. I don't
know how to make things better when they feel like they're all wrong.
I resent you, but I can't help that I still love you."
He leaned over and rested his head on her breast as she put her
arm around him. "I'm sorry you feel that way, and I really am sorry
about everything that happened." She kissed his head. "I know what I
did was incredibly selfish, and I know... how badly I hurt you. When
you father died, I went a little crazy. I know that."
"Mom," Ryuuji whispered, "I just... I feel so..."
"Used? Betrayed? Hurt? Alone?"
He didn't answer, but his tears soaked her shirt.
"I know how you feel," she whispered. "I really do. Let's go
back to the house and I'll take care of you." She stroked his hair
lovingly, rocking him ever so slightly.
"No, I'd rather stay here." He sniffled and put an arm around
her. "I just... I don't want to go back. Not now."
"We don't have to. We can stay here as long as you want." She
reached up slowly undid the top button of her blouse. "We can do
anything you want." The second button was undone.
"Mom..."
"Don't talk. Anything you want."
This time, his hand moved up slowly and worked at the buttons.
"I just don't want to hurt you," he whispered, continuing to undo the
buttons. "I don't want to be hurt anymore."
"And I don't want you to be hurt. Anything you want," she said
breathily as her shirt was pulled open.
Ryuuji's desire was back, more powerful than before. He panted
heavily on her skin, controlling the trembling in his hands. He
refused to break down and become little more than an animal; he wanted
to continue what they had been doing before the whole nasty situation
had started.
Those had been moments full of love and passion, enough to make
his chest hurt with the overload of emotion. "You've poisoned me,
Mom," he said between kisses to her stomach. "I'm damaged goods now.
No one will ever want me," he continued as he kissed his way to her
breasts.
"I want you." she said, working his fingers into his hair. "I
need you. Don't ever think no one wants you." She pulled his head up
and their lips met in a passionate kiss.
When they separated, she whispered fiercely in his ear, "I'll
never let anyone hurt you again. We'll always have each other."
"I'd do anything for you, Mom," Ryuuji whispered back.
"And now," she said in hushed tones, "I want you to take me
right here, in the middle of the park. Right where anyone might see
us. Can you do that, Ryu-chan? Are you up for it?"
"Oh yeah, Mom. I'm ready."
Wriggling madly, fueled by the need for the feel of each other's
body, the two undressed each other in the grass. Even the cold, wet
dew on the ground was unable to ease the sudden fire born of misery
and desperation.
"Mom, I can't lose you now," Ryuuji said as his body assumed a
very familiar position atop his mother's. "I think... I think if
something happened to you, I couldn't live."
He leaned his head down to kiss her, simultaneously moving his
body forward slightly. That seemed to burn away the last of the sour
feelings, leaving only pure sensation between the two.
With sudden power and speed, Ryuuji was well on his way to
satisfaction with his mother crying out breathlessly beneath him.
They moved in synchronization, looking more like some sort of
strange machine than two living people. Though no machine undulated
like they did, oozed sweat, made sounds the way they did.
Short, gasping breaths, punctuated by sounds of pleasure, a
perverse squelching sound as they collided and pulled apart. Maybe it
wasn't right, and maybe they would get caught, but there was nothing
to tear their attention away from the fire burning between them.
Ryuuji felt the familiar pressure, tightening, and knew the
encounter was almost at it's end. Yet, it was only a single event,
one of the many turning points in their relationship. But one event.
There would be many more to follow, of that he was sure. He
grunted once and quickly pulled away, his body shuddering with the
effort of not releasing. He paused like that, his rear end in the
air, his face pressed into his mother's breasts.
He stayed that way a moment before sitting up on his knees,
towering over the smallish form of his mother. Her eyes opened
partway and looked at him, shining slightly in the darkness.
Placing his left hand on her knee for balance, Ryuuji grasped
his still rock hard member with his right. "Like this, Mom," he
whispered. "No accidents." He began to stroke himself slowly,
looking down at her. "Unh... I love you, Mom."
As he moved, his hips jerking, it took only a few moments with
her female body entirely exposed to him before his essence emptied out
of his overheated flesh.
The only sound escaping from him was a low moan as he squeezed
his eyes shut and tilted his head back toward the sky. The only other
sound was from the nighttime insects, who even seemed quiet, and the
quiet splotching as his seed impacted on his mother's bare stomach.
The rush subsided and Ryuuji sat back roughly on his heels,
shaking lightly from the physical expenditure. He was still as he sat
and experienced the nightly breeze on his bare skin. The insects
continued to drone, but he could hear the heavy breathing of his
mother along with them. Well, it had been his night and she would
have to wait for another time.
Ryuuji opened his eyes as she sat up. "I hate you."
"I love you, Ryu-chan."
He sighed. "I love you, Mom."
"Let's go home now."
Epilogue: The End
Ryuuji pulled the covers up around his chin. The bed was
so warm, he didn't want to get up. Once he was awake though,
there was no going back to sleep. He rolled around before
settling on his back.
He stretched mightily, working out every muscle he could,
groaning as he did so. He cracked his eyes open, taking in the
brightness of the room. Morning always came so early, too bad it
couldn't wait a few hours.
He yawned and lazily scratched his stomach. He would have
to shower before he started his day, the previous day had been
very.. active. He could still feel the sweat and grime on his
body. He had a gentle ripeness to himself as well.
He pushed back the covers, revealing his bare skin to the
cool morning air. He shivered a bit as the goosebumps rippled
over his arms. He pushed himself to sit up against the pile of
down pillows.
He wiggled his toes, getting the blood flowing through his
legs, waking his body up. His thighs were a bit sore, but he had
been sick with the flu for a few days previous and was still a bit
run down from it. His stamina would return in the next day, he
was confident of it.
He looked at the ornate clock against the wall. Almost
8:30. He was grateful for graduation, no more worthless high
school to worry about, no more fake friends to wonder about, no
more annoying teachers... His life was his own finally.
Except...
He watched her get dressed, thinking that maybe he should
get up too. He started to remove his legs from the bed, not sure
if they were quite strong enough to support him.
"Don't get up, Ryu-chan. Stay in bed as long as you
like. I have a couple of appointments to take care of, then I'll
be back." She smiled at him and slipped on her blouse.
Ryuuji nodded and relaxed in the bed. He would be on his
own for breakfast, but that was fine with him. He watched his
mother intently as she finished getting ready.
"Mom?"
"What is it, Ryu-chan?"
"I love you."
She turned around, a bit startled. "What was that for?"
He shrugged. "Just because." They looked at each other
for a few moments more. "Because you're so good to me."
That increased the size of the smile on her face. She
walked to the side of the bed and leaned down. She put her hand
on his cheek, gazing lovingly into his eyes. "You're worth it."
Ryuuji leaned up and kissed her, putting his hands on her
shoulders. She resisted his attempts to pull her down on top of
him for a few moments before she gave in. Those appointments
could wait until later.
She collapsed on top of Ryuuji as he put his arms around
her, holding her tightly to him. "Oh, Mom," he whispered in her
ear...
[Fade to black...]
The Vicious Circle:
End and Beginning
First his father. Now his mother. Ryuuji decided at that
point that he hated life. Nothing good ever came of it, only bad
things. He looked forlornly at the two gravestones. His lot in
life to be miserable... He remembered thinking that so long ago.
And here it was, all coming true.
He dropped to his knees in the wet grass and put a hand on
each marker. Their lives... all for naught. His eyes felt a bit
moist, but he shed no tears. He had done all that a long time
ago, when he had thought he was the only person in the world with
problems.
He had come to see how his weren't problems at all, he was
actually lucky. And now, all the sources of all his happiness and
joy in life were both gone. He set a white orchid in front of
each headstone, trying to keep control of his feelings.
He was angry and sad and depressed and he felt so alone.
Alone without the man he had idolized: his father. Alone without
the woman he loved: his mother. He bowed his head and closed his
eyes. "Why did you leave me? What do I do now?" he asked softly.
He had nowhere to go, no one to turn to. He was alone in
the world. He could always ask to stay with one of his aunts;
they had always liked him. Sell the house and try to move on...
He felt the lump in his throat and tightness in his chest. Move
on? How was he supposed to move on without his life?
He began to form a plan...
***
He slipped into the hot water. It was hot, so hot he
thought he might be scalded. But the hotter, the better. He
lifted the picture carefully, avoiding getting any water on it.
It had been taken over 9 years ago, at his 11th birthday party.
He was standing between his mother and father, smiling,
laughing. He was so small compared to the two of them... Ryuuji
couldn't stop himself and the tears came. Not for the past, but
for the future. What might have been if his father hadn't died,
if his mother hadn't died...
He set the picture to the side where he could still see
it. His mouth slowly turned down, expressing the ache of
loneliness he felt inside. He thought momentarily about the rest
of his relatives, that they would be sad at his passing. But they
would get over it, he would become nothing but a pleasant memory
to them eventually.
He had sold the house and a great deal of their
possessions. Anything left he had written down was to be divided
among the rest of the family, in any way they wished. He lifted
the knife, still staring at the picture. This was what his life
had become, a pointless exercise in suffering. It was time to end
it, once and for all.
He slowly dragged the knife across one wrist, not looking
at the scarlet line that appeared. He only thought of his family,
his precious family, that he had lost so long ago...
End of saga
lara@emunix.emich.edu
http://nabiki.newberry.edu/lara/