I'm not used to public C&C, and I don't know how
much help these scattered comments will be, but
I guess I have to start somewhere...

Trust me, any and all comments are helpful.

Do you think Niiyama's going to lower his head to
make it easier for you to hit?"

     That's Kiiyama, and I noticed you switching back
and forth a few times in the early part of the story.

D'oh!  Fixed.

It says something about this story that it made me
want to read a work I've never read before.  I just
hope it doesn't disappoint me when I compare it to
this fic.  ^_^

Trust me, Rumiko Takahashi does it better.  For one, she injects humor
at a level I could never hope to achieve.  Her stories are a lot
lighter, of course, than my heavy-handed melodrama.  But there's still
that... tension between Kosuka and Sister Angela.  And Takahashi plays
that tension quite nicely.

Very skillful handling of the religious aspect, IMO--
serious without being heavy-handed one way or the other.

Thanks.  Exactly what I was aiming for.  I've seen a couple of Ranma
fanfics where Ranma finds God, and I *did* find them heavy-handed, so I
at least had a negative example to go by.  :)  This fic does focus on
religion a lot more than the manga does.

I have so far been pleasantly surprised that no one has flamed me for
writing about religion in a fanfic.  I expected one or two comments,
perhaps even a "THOU SHALT REPENT!".  Nothing so far, which perhaps
merely exposes my own prejudice for having such expectations.  ;;^_^

And that boxing scene was impressive; it held my
interest nicely, despite my dislike for the sport.

Oh, I'm so glad to hear that.  I wasn't sure if I was overdoing it or
not.

It may be that I just don't know enough about boxing,
but it wasn't entirely clear to me how Kosaku won the
fight *after* losing consciousness...

Well, I deliberately kept it vague for plot reasons, of course, but he
didn't really fall unconscious, just kinda blacked out for a second.
But he had just enough presence of mind to sag against the ropes rather
than fall to the ground.

Nice job. ^_^

Thanks.  And thanks very much for the comments.  :)

Emily Thurston

-Richard