I'm not used to public C&C, and I don't know how much help these
scattered comments will be, but I guess I have to start somewhere...
<shrug>

     Richard Lawson wrote:

Do you think Niiyama's going to lower his head to make it 
easier for you to hit?"

     That's Kiiyama, and I noticed you switching back and forth a few
times in the early part of the story.  

     It says something about this story that it made me want to read
a work I've never read before.  I just hope it doesn't disappoint me
when I compare it to this fic.  ^_^

     Very skillful handling of the religious aspect, IMO--serious
without being heavy-handed one way or the other.  

     And that boxing scene was impressive; it held my interest
nicely, despite my dislike for the sport.  It may be that I just don't
know enough about boxing, but it wasn't entirely clear to me how
Kosaku won the fight *after* losing consciousness... although the
little plot twist where we learn the *real* outcome much later neatly
managed to avoid the delimma of whether or not the hero wins the big
fight (ie. if he does, then it feels rigged because he's the hero; if
he doesn't, then it seems too much like there's some silly "lesson" to
learn about facing disappointment, or whatever :P).  Nice job. ^_^

Emily Thurston
ethurston1@weber.edu