Lina vs. the Sorcerer Hunters
M A Davis / Miko


        Lina Inverse stared at the five people who blocked her way
and frowned.

        "All right," she said, "Let's get it over with.  Tell me who
you are, and why you're here."

        A girl stepped forward, wearing red robes, with pink hair
and impossibly large sunglasses. "I am Tira Misu," she
exclaimed.  "I look like Ranma-chan from 'Ranma 1/2' when
she's in one of her dumb disguises, but I'm smarter."

        A second character stepped forward -- a boy with long black
hair and pale skin, wearing flowing white robes.  "I am Marron
Glace," he said.  "I look like Mousse from 'Ranma 1/2', only
without the glasses, and I'm smarter."

        The third of the five stepped forward.  He was a massive
man with blond hair.  "My name is Gateau Mocha," he said.  "I
look like Ken from 'Fist Of the North Star'.  Or maybe it's Ken
from 'Street Fighter II'.  Or that guy from 'Weathering Continent'.
Or that guy from 'Ruin Explorers'.  Or..."

        "Yeah, yeah, I get the picture," Lina said, stifling a yawn.
"You're big and strong.  This helps you defeat sorcerers... how?"

        "Well," Gateau said, "I get a punch in about every third
episode...."

         The fourth member of the group, a girl with purple hair,
took her turn.  "I am Chocolate Misu," she said.  "I don't look
anything like Lum from 'Ursei Yatsura', but I kind of act like her,
only smarter...."

        "Yeah, whatever, hurry up, I don't got all day," Lina said,
inspecting her nails.  She pointed to the fifth member.  "You.  I
take it you're the leader?"

        "That's right!" said the fifth one -- a boy with buff-colored
pants and a sleeveless tee-shirt.  "My name is Carrot Glace!  I
look exactly like Van Fannel from 'Escaflowne', but I act like
Ataru Moroboshi from 'Ursei Yatsura', with maybe a dash of
Taylor from 'Irresponsible Captain Taylor'."

        "...only smarter?" Lina said.

        "I like to think so," Carrot replied.  "Oh, and I sometimes
transform into something that sort of resembles Pantyhose
Tarou's cursed form... you know, from 'Ranma 1/2'...."

        "We're the Sorcerer Hunters," Tira exclaimed.  "We're here
to punish you for all the pain you've caused others."

        "Okay," Lina said, "I think I've got the picture now, pathetic
as it is."  She held her hand up, palm out.  "Fireball," she said, in
a voice that sounded supremely bored.

        A massive ball of flame leapt from her hand, engulfing the
five Sorcerer Hunters.  In half a second they were reduced to
blackened, charred figures that collapsed into a heap.

        "Another day, another challenge," Lina said.  "Where do
they come up with these people anyway?  Oh, well, all in a day's
work, and all of that...."

        She started down the road, then paused.  She turned and
walked back to the five charred figures, who were just beginning
to stir.

        "Carrot," she said, "if you really are an Ataru Moroboshi
clone, then why didn't you try to grope me or pick me up?"

        "...flat...  ...chest...." Carrot managed to wheeze.

        Anger flared in Lina's eyes, and she raised her hand.

        "Fireball...."


FINI




Miko!

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful tone, "it
means exactly what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less."
"The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many
different things."
"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master -- that's
all."

(Lewis Carroll, Through The Looking Glass)

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