Unexpected Crossover #1

	Molly headed for home, her feet moving quickly and her eyes scanning
the streets nervously.  It seemed no matter where she went, she was
attacked.  Seeing a figure appear before her, she immediately spun and
ran the other way.
	"An Ex Por," said the figure.
	Molly suddenly found herself unable to move. Four more figures appeared
around her, and she closed her eyes, awaiting the inevitable.
	"Kal Vas Flam," came a voice.
	"Corp Por."  More voices.
	"Venus Chresent beam SMASH!!!  Corp Por."
	"Corp Por."
	She screamed as three e-bolts and a flamestrike slammed into her body. 
She was dead.  The five figures gathered around her corpse and began
rooting through her belongings.
	"hehe," said sailormoon.  "We rok U suk."
	"oooOOoooOoo?" complained Molly.  But there was nothing for it but to
drift back to town in search of a healer.
	"no regs," said SailoR Murcury.  "fukin newbie."   
	A voice came from far above, and the Sailor Scouts [S*S, order] turned
to look. A young man in a tuxedo stood on the roof above them.
	"Sailormoon!" he cried.  "Thou shoulds't not use thy powers to slay the
weak and the helpless!  Turn away from thine evil and follow the path of
Virtue!"
	"wtf?" said sailormoon.
	"sum lamr rp fagit, said SailROmArs.  "lets pk him."
	"Corp Por," said sailormoon.
	"Corp Por," said SaiLOr JutIper.
	"Venus Chresent beam SMASH!!!  Corp Por," said SaiLorVenUs.
	"Kal Ort Por," said Tuxedo Mask.


Unexpected Crossover #2 


	An AIRPORT.  Dana SCULLY is standing here, obviously waiting for
someone.  People stream by her, carrying luggage, small children, etc. 
She looks up to see Fox MULDER coming down the escalator, followed by a
pretty Chinese GIRL in her mid-teens.  

Mulder and the girl approach her.

SCULLY:  So, how was China?

Mulder rubs his neck nervously.  The girl stands beside him and smiles
up at him happily.  Her silk blouse and pantaloons are black patterned
with royal blue, and fit her snugly.  Aside from a few short strands
that frame her face, her hair is pulled up and back into a tight bun,
from which two long, ropelike braids hang down to the backs of her
thighs.

MULDER:  Well, there are a couple of things I need to tell you.

He seems at a loss as to how to proceed.  The girl, who obviously isn't
going anywhere, peers at Scully suspiciously and edges closer to Mulder.

SCULLY:  Who's your friend?

MULDER:  Oh.  Scully, this is Tanpon.  Tanpon, this is my partner, Dana
Scully.

Scully holds out her hand.  The girl frowns at it for a moment, then
grasps it by the fingertips, gives it two quick shakes, then immediately
drops it.

SCULLY:  [to Mulder] Tanpon?

MULDER:  Yeah, I know.  She's from a small village high in the mountains
of Northern China.  And all the women train in martial arts, and they
have this tradition that if any of them is defeated in combat by a man
from outside the tribe, then that girl must marry that man.  And I sorta
shot her.

Scully stares at him.

MULDER:  It was dark, and she came out of nowhere.  I don't even
remember pulling the trigger, just hearing the shot, and then she was
lying on the ground crying.  I'm no doctor, but I patched her up as best
I could.  I didn't want to leave her in the woods because I thought
she'd die, but when she got stronger I couldn't get rid of her.  She's
very persistent, Scully.

SCULLY:  Her name is *Tanpon?*

MULDER:  I don't know how she got on the plane.  She just won't stay
where she's put.

SCULLY:  Did you try shooting her again?

Scully moves past the two of them and heads for the exit.  Mulder turns
and falls in step with her, leaving Tanpon standing there.  Realizing
she's been outmaneuvered, the girl runs after the two FBI agents and
shoulders her way between them, favoring Scully with a dirty look.

Scully gives an exasperated sigh.

SCULLY:  So.  Did you find your cursed springs?

MULDER:  Uh, that was the other thing I wanted to tell you.


Unexpected Crossover #3


	"So let's see who you REALLY are."  Sailor Jupiter stepped forward and
ripped the mask off Queen Beryl.  The girls gasped with surprise.
	"Why, it's Mrs. Takeuchi from the artist's convention!" exclaimed
Sailor Venus.
	"That's right!" said Sailor Mercury.  "There never were any youma
attacks.  She faked them all in order to increase sales of her manga."
	"And I'd have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for you meddling
kids!" grumbled the villain.
	"Can I have my bunny snacks now?" squealed Sailor Moon.
	"No!" snapped Sailor Mars.
	"How about now?"
	"No!"
	"How about now?"
	"No!"
	"How about now?"
	"OH ALL RIGHT!  Here!"   Sailor Mars thrust a box into the blonde
girl's hands.  Sailor Moon ripped it open and began stuffing fistfuls
into her mouth.
	"Hey, don't eat it all!  I want some too!"
	"You have to be really good friends to fight like that," observed
Sailor Venus.
	"Heeheeheeheehee!" giggled Sailor Moon, spraying crumbs all over Sailor
Mars.


Unexpected Crossover #4
	

	It was late, and the exhibition of noh masks was, technically, closed,
but Yusaku thought letting Sakamoto look around wouldn't be too much of
a violation of his duties.  He could sweep later.  The deserted,
half-darkened hall felt a little foreboding to him as he followed his
friend, and he tried to dismiss it as his own nagging guilt.
	"You ever take Kyoko in here?" asked Sakamoto, fingering the exquisite
ivory features of one exhibit.
	"Oh, sure," said Yusaku.  "A personal, after-hours tour of the museum
by the janitor.  That'd impress her for sure."
	"Better'n moonin' about how beautiful and wonderful she is, and not
doin' anything.  That's your current game plan, and it's been a loser so
far."
	"I can't help it," said Yusaku.  "My grandmother called me indecisive,
but that isn't true.  I want Kyoko more than anything in the world.  I'm
just, I don't know . . ."
	"Chicken?" suggested Sakamoto.
	"Thanks a lot," snorted Yusaku.  He picked up one mask, a dark green
one of rough wood, and held it up at eye level.  They said a man had a
mask for the outside world, and a mask for his family and friends, and
never showed anyone his true face.  He knew Kyoko cared for him on some
level, but he couldn't see her true self, and so he was afraid to take
his own mask off.  He turned the mask in his hands over, and it reached
for his face.
	"Your problem, Godai, is that you're a wuss," said Sakamoto cheerfully,
oblivious to the struggle going on behind him.  "You're a nice wuss,
sure.  In fact, you're a wuss that I'm proud to call my friend.  But
you're still a wuss.  And you ain't gonna make it with Kyoko by bein' a
wuss.  It ain't happenin'."
	Yusaku lowered his arms.  He didn't feel like a wuss.  He felt . . .
different.  Better.  He felt . . .
	"S - S - SMOKIN'!"

-- David

 "And wackiness ensues."  -- Spike the Vampire