Akio's Last Conquest

A very evil fanfic written by Aaron Shattuck

Edited by Chippy the Transvestite Gnome (to his disgust)

Shojo Kakumei Utena is the property of "B-Papas", TV Tokyo and Central 
Park Media. Characters, etc. are used entirely without permission and 
hopefully they'll never find out, 'cause if I were them, I'd burn me at 
the stake.

Author's Disclaimer: Yep, this is wrong. Very wrong. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 

Editor's Note: Before you complain, you must realize that the greater 
half of this mockery to all that is holy, was cut by me. Think about 
what those parts would have been like to read, and then express your 
thanks to me by calling the police and having me rescued from this den 
of hell.
---

	Akio the serial rapist sat on the comfy couch of his incredibly huge, 
"How the hell did he afford this much space in Japan?!", 
apartment/observatory. In his hand, he held a clipboard with several 
pieces of paper attached to it. On the topmost sheet were a list of 
names, nearly all of which were crossed out. With almost religious 
reverence, Akio scanned down the list and crossed out the only uncrossed 
name that lay at the bottom: "Utena".
	Well... that was it. He had fulfilled his unholy lust with just about 
everything that moved. His mother in law, his sister, everybody... He 
sighed deeply. He should feel happy about his accomplishments, he 
thought, but it seemed that something was still _missing_. But how could 
that be? He had broken every taboo in the book already, hadn't he? But 
the fact was, there was still a void in his life, and no amounts of 
reckless driving were going to fill it. 
	There's just nothing left for me to ravage anymore, he thought sadly. 
Forlorn, he slowly rose out of his seat and began to walk to the 
kitchen, his head bowed in melancholy.
	Suddenly, he heard a sound come from the corner of the room.
	"Chu."
	Looking back, Akio spied what appeared to be some sort of disturbing 
cross between a monkey and a mouse chewing on a cracker as big as it 
was. The little gray abomination looked back at him, inquisitively. More 
than half of the cracker was stuffed in its mouth, and its cheeks were 
_somehow_ able to stretch wide enough to accommodate it.
	"Chu?" it asked, noticing his gaze.
	Akio smiled widely and started to walk towards the thing.

---

Cue the Shadow Play Girls!

A-ko (dressed in a suit and hat, and imitating a man's voice): Honey, I 
have a confession to make!

B-ko (in an apron): What is it, dear?

A-ko: I had sex with our pet pig. (holds up pig prop)

Pig: Bweee!

B-ko: Oh, how could you?!

A-ko: Well, I was horny, and I didn't want to have to screw our baby son 
again. (holds up baby prop)

Baby: Waaah!

B-ko: Aaaaah! No! No! I'll kill myself! (holds up kitchen knife)

A-ko (rubbing the back of her head in an embarrassed fashion): Um, you 
might not want to touch that knife...

B-ko: Aaaaaah! HENTAI! (stabs A-ko, who falls down dead)

B-ko (kneeling over A-ko's corpse): Oh my God! I can't believe I...! 
Say, I've got an idea! (starts to take off A-ko's clothes)

Scene cuts away from girls.

B-ko: Yahoooooo!

End of Shadow Play!

---

	Anthy returned home just in time to hear the sounds of a tortured 
"CHUUUUUU!" and an explosion. Rushing quickly to the place of their 
emanation, she was greeted with a grisly sight. Chu-Chu was, quite 
literally, spread all across the room and the bits of him still impaled 
by her brother's "pride and joy" made the nature of his demise all too 
clear.
	Oh, the poor thing! She thought, imagining the pain the little creature 
must have gone through. Expanding as much as he could to escape the 
suffering, until little cuts would appear all over his ballooning body, 
spraying a fine mist of blood and then... No! It was too horrible to 
contemplate!
	And as for the cause of this misery, Akio himself, it seemed that 
divine retribution had finally found his address. Chu-Chu's head almost 
comically appeared to be coming out of his neck, for the monkey/mouse's 
spinal column had speared right through it, killing the promiscuous 
would-be lothario instantly.
	"Oh, well," sighed Anthy, setting about the daunting task of cleaning 
the room. "At least Oniisama got what he deserved."

THE END.
---

Now aren't you glad you read that? Of COURSE you are! I bet right now 
you're thinking, "Boy, my life was really empty before the image of Akio 
forcing himself on a little gray mammal entered my head! Thanks, Aaron!" 
Well, you're welcome. If you must convey your newfound joy to me 
directly, you can e-mail me at dilandau@hotmail.com. Or, if you wish to 
enlighten yourself further, you can visit my webpage at 
www2.crosswinds.net/boston/~floot/. Trust me, you'll be glad 
you did! Now if you'll excuse me, Chippy is trying to slash his wrists 
with broken glass. That little rascal!


______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com