bert.miller@unisys.com wrote:

What, no Lumberjack sketch?!?!?!?

OH, I'M A CROSS-DRESSER AND I'M OKAY

Or, how about THIS one....



[A quartet of singers are on stage, namely AKANE, KODACHI, SHAMPOO, and
UKYO. RANMA stands nearby.]

		AKS&U

He is Ranma Sao-to-me,
and we are each his fiancee!

		SHAMPOO

He is Ranma Sao-to-me,
and I am his best fiancee!

I speak Chinese, I bust through walls
when I come in a room;
If interfere with my plans,
I give you Kiss of Doom!

		AK&U

She speaks Chinese... (etc.)

		AKS&U

He is Ranma Sao-to-me,
and we are each his fiancee!

		AKANE

He is Ranma Sao-to-me,
and I am his best fiancee!

My dad engaged me to this jerk,
I didn't ask for that;
If Ranma's with another girl,
I'll stomp him 'til he's flat!

		KS&U

Her dad engaged her... (etc.)

		AKS&U

He is Ranma Sao-to-me,
and we are each his fiancee!

		UKYO

He is Ranma Sao-to-me,
and I am his best fiancee!

I'm Ranma's selfless, kind best friend,
or so my fanboys dream;
The Haunted Cave of Lost Love
will be my latest scheme!

		AK&S

She's Ranma's... (etc.)

		AKS&U

He is Ranma Sao-to-me,
and we are each his fiancee!

		KODACHI

He is Ranma Sao-to-me,
and I am his best fiancee!

My darling does not love me,
but still do I persist;
he'll be with medication
unable to resist!

		AS&U

Her darling does not... (etc.)

		AKS&U

He is Ranma Sao-to-me,
and we are each his fiancee!

[The four girls look toward Ranma]

Um... I am Ranma Sao-to-me,
and they are each my fiancee!

Uh....

To choose but one would break three hearts;
compassion makes me flee;
besides, the ones who I don't pick
will beat the crap outta me!

		AKS&U

To choose but one would... HEY!!

[Ranma tries to run, but is knocked down by a flutty of thrown spatulas,
clubs, and other objects. A general melee breaks out as the lights dim
and the curtain closes.]