Hey all,

Another idea spawned by late nights and weird conversations.


As the Monty Python theme music starts, bad cutouts of the Nerima gang
start to appear.  They pick up large signs that spell out Ranma Saotome's
Flying Circus.  As the last letter goes up, a giant mallet comes down,
squashing them all and the music stops.

*****

"The Argument"

[The scene opens on a small office.  There is a door on either side of the
stage.  Shampoo, wearing very little, sits at a desk with a staircase
leading up behind her.  Ranma enters through the door stage left and
approaches Shampoo.]

Shampoo:Good afternoon.  (With a provocative look)You want go upstairs?

Ranma:What?

Shampoo:Shampoo say 'You want go upstairs?' (pauses)Oh, or you here for
argument?

Ranma:That's right, an argument.  What was that about goin' upstairs?

Shampoo(totally innocent):Nothing.  Now, you want full half hour argument
or just 5 minutes?

Ranma:Ummm...What's the cost?

Shampoo:Half hour cost 5000 Yen.  Five minute cost 500 Yen.

Ranma:I'll take a 5 minute then.

Shampoo:Very good.  Mr. Tendo down hall and third door on left is free.

Ranma:Um...thanks.

[Ranma exits through the door stage right and the camera follows him down
the hall.  He enters the third door on the right.]

Tarou:Well if it isn't the femboy!  If you were any more feminine you'd be
wearing a dress.  And you're such a coward and a weakling.  I could beat
you up with both hands tied behind my back!  You make me sick!  You...

Ranma:Hey!  I came here for an argument.

Tarou:Oh!  You want Mr. Tendo across the hall.  This is insults.

Ranma:Okay.

Tarou[As Ranma closes the door.]:Stupid femboy.

[Ranma crosses the hall and enters the other door.  As soon as the door is
closed behind him, Ranma's shirt is grabbed by Soun, who starts the
waterworks.]

Soun:Ranma!  How could you betray my dear little Akane and abandon our
schools by dating that Kuonji girl?  Have you no honor?

Ranma:It's not what it looked like I swear!  Ya got it all wrong.  I can
explain.  I didn't do it.

Soun:Yes you did!

Ranma:No I didn't!

Soun:Yes...(waterworks stop)Oh wait, is this a five minute or the full half
hour?

Ranma:Just a five minute.

Soun:Very good.  Now where was I?(waterworks restart)Yes you did!

Ranma:Wait!  This isn't an argument, this is just contradiction.  An
argument is a series of statements used to prove a point, not just simple
contradiction.

Soun(waterworks stop):It can be.

Ranma:No it can't.

Soun:Yes it can.

Ranma:See!  This is just contradiction, not an argument.

Soun:Good Afternoon!

Ranma:What?

Soun:Your five minutes is up.  I'm afraid I can't argue with you until you
pay for another five minutes.

Ranma:That was not five minutes.

Soun:I'm not arguing.

Ranma:I'm going to your complaint department!

[Ranma opens the door and leaves.  The camera follows him as he goes down
the hall and around the corner.  He stops in front of a door marked
'Complaints' and enters.  Ryoga is sitting at a desk.]

Ranma:I'd like to make a complaint.

Ryoga:You'd like to complain?  What about me?  I get lost taking two steps.
 If you put me in a paper bag, I wouldn't be able to find my way out for a
week.  And then there's my love life!  I'm in love with a girl who only
sees me as a friend.  The only way I can get close to her is as her pet
pig.  And the one girl who does love me, loves me because I turn into a
pig...

[Ranma rolls his eyes and turns to leave.  Ryoga is still droning on in the
background.  As Ranma closes the door behind him, we can barely hear Ryoga
call out Shi Shi Houkodan.  There is a bright flash through the frosted
window in the door and then all is silent.  Ranma shrugs and moves on to
the next door, which is unmarked.  He enters.]

Ranma:Um hello, can you tell me where...[A large mallet descends on his
head.] OOOOOWWWWWWW!!

Akane:No, no.  OOOOHHHH!  Now let's try again.

[Akane hits Ranma again.]

Ranma:AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Akane(miffed):No!  OOOOHHHH!  One more time!

[Akane hits Ranma again.]

Ranma:OOOOHHHH!

Akane:You got it!

Ranma:What'd you do that for?  I was just looking for the complaints
department.

Akane:Oh, well this is Getting Hit on the Head Lessons.

Ranma:What a stupid concept.

[Fade to black]

*****

"MSW"

[The camera zooms in on Kasumi who is walking down the street with a large
covered object in her hands.  She stops in front of a large office
building.  The letters MSW hang over the doors.  She nods to herself and
climbs the steps to the doors.  A yound businessman, seeing her rather
encumbered by the covered object holds the door open for her.  She smiles
at him as she passes.  As she walks towards the receptionist's desk she
tries not to stare at the men around her.  It is really hard not to because
they are each walkig in a very silly manner.  One is walking like a
chicken.  Another in a sort of hopping strut, arms flailing wildly.  Soon
Kasumi reaches the desk and stops.]

Kasumi:Excuse me.  Is this the Ministry of Silly Woks?

Receptionist:I'm sorry, no.  This is the Ministry of Silly Walks.

Kasumi:Ah.  Then that would explain...[She waves her hand at all the men
walking sillily]  I'm very sorry to disturb you.

[Kasumi turns around and leaves the way she came.  The camera fades to
black.]

*****


I think I've written enough of this.  It came to me last night, but I was
too tired to write it then.  However, it wouldn't go away, so here I am. 
There was another part, with Ryoga in the Parrot Sketch, but I don't think
it needs to be written, unless y'all want me too.

C-Ya ='P
Jon