Pokemon History
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Pikachu
The Pikachu Pokemon evolved from a rather curious rat that we'll name
'Dead' for reasons that will become obvious later. Dead had just gotten
free from his iron metal prison that the humans called a 'Cage'.
However, due to the little metal handle which was made to be easily
accessible mixed with the stupid placement of the 'Cage', the handle
slid into an outlet, electrifying poor Dead. This happened so much to
Dead that he began to be able to create bursts of electricity. Dead's
descendents grew up in the same environment. After two and a half
generations, Dead's grandchildren became Pikachu Pokemons. Of course,
Dead was dead.
Koffing
This unusual pokemon evolved from the Blowfish. Subjected to unusual
tests of leaving them in coffee and feeding them donuts, they started
out liking these substances and saying "Coffee!", "Jelly-filled" and
"Donuts!". It is believed that a malfunctioning nuclear powerplant in
Springfield aided these strange, disgusting creatures to evolve into the
floating monsters they are today.
Spearow/Fearow
These enormous avians were originally related to the pigeon, which
explains why they are so annoying. They tend to leave crap all over
too.
Charmander
At frat parties across the country, a new hit was formed. Lighting up
lizard tails. Well, you can see where this lead.
Squirtle
Well, once the lizard-tail lighting up thing started, some frat boys
tried doing it with turtles. But the turtles were smart and knew what
this woud lead to. They began spitting water to put out the lighters
until either the frat boys gave up or it died of dehydration.
Bulbasaur
A mad scientist one day decided that he would join his two most
favorite things in the world together. A hamster and an onion and
Voila, bulbasaur was born. Kinda.
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POKEMON PUNS!
"Well, I C U too, BONE-head."
"Your MEOWTH is writing checks your ASH can't cash!"
"%... come with me on a MAGIKARP-et ride...%"
"You're always MUKing things up!"
"I don't know, it's rather CHANSEY."
"Earth is half a PARASECT away."
"ABRA-KADABRA-ALAKAZAM!!"
"%... There she was, just a-walkin' down the street singin' *DU-DUO,
DO-DRI-IO!*...%"
"We've got to e-RATICATE the enemy..."
"YOOO, JOE!"
"ARBOK!!"
"Oh it's my turn? Well, I guess I'd better GOLBAT..."
"I'-MACHAMP-een fighter..."
"Oh, get on your feet, you stupid idiot. The last thing we need is a
worthless GRAVELER..."
"Oh, how GASTLY..."
"Man, I'm feeling DROWSEE..."
"Maybe we should think about typing this program in ONIX..."
"Well, I picked her as the EXEGGUTOR of my will...."
"JYNX! 1,2,3,4,5..."
"My voice is rather HORSEA..."
Desperately SEAKING Shampoo
"%...STARYU.... STARMIE.... say it together, naturally....%"
"Man, my SCYTHER is such a pain. She keeps coming into my room..."
"My butt hurts."
"DITTO."
"Anyone wanna come along? We going for pizza."
"I wanna go!"
"MEW TWO! MEW TWO!!"
"%ELECT-A-BUZZ-aloo...%"
"GOL-ee, that DEEN is such a pain in the..."
"DRATINI, shaken, not stirred..." Mr. Bond said.
"ZAP D.O.S.! ZAP D.O.S.!!"
"FLARE ON!!" Johnny Storm declared.
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