Revised part two of my self insertion silliness:

	Jerico followed Misato into the elevator, trying hard not to stare. He
was suddenly reminded of one of those anime shows that he used to watch.
Through the haze of the last couple of hours he couldn�t 
remember the names any of them. He could remember the characters though,
especially the lecherous father of one series� protagonist. He steeled
his resolve to be an upstanding character here at NREV, or 
NRVE or whatever. 
	As soon as he saw the woman in the elevator he immediately reversed his
decision. 
	�Hello, Ritsuko,� Misato said. �Care to accompany us to the cages?�
	[Actually, that�s why I�m here. I have a briefing for you regarding
Project Y. We�ll be headed to storage bay three for a full briefing
regarding the project.] Ritsuko nodded to Jerico. [Hello there. I�m Dr.
Akagi Ritsuko, head of R&D here at NERV HQ.]
	[Pleasure to meet you. May I ask what the doctorate is in?] Jerico
asked while thinking about something totally different.
	[Certainly,] Ritsuko said pleasantly. Misato was punching a button on
the controls of the elevator while staring intently at the briefing
Ritsuko had handed her. [Computer science, particle physics, 
metaphysical biology and biochemistry,] Ritsuko continued modestly.
	Jerico�s jaw dropped again. He also missed Misato�s eyes rolling.
	[Four Doctorates? Very impressive.]
	[I see you were a physics major,] Ritsuko said. 
	[Were?] Jerico asked, slightly irritated. 
	[Sorry,] Ritsuko said quickly while Misato stifled a laugh.
	�Slick Ritsuko,� she said warmly. It was rare that Ritsuko made a
mistake, but Misato looked forward to each one.
	�Shut up, Misato.� Then she looked back to a slightly confused Jerico.
[Sorry. I�m sure you�ll enjoy the view.]
	[View?] Jerico asked as the elevator passed into the Geofront. [What is
this place?] he asked after a moment.
	[This is the Geofront,] Misato said, [the future of mankind.]
	Jerico stared out across the massive space before him, awed by the pure
size of it. His mind immediately began asking questions: how did this
stay up, who excavated it, what did they use to do it? But 
his questions were cut short as the elevator passed into another tunnel. 
	[You are about to see the most powerful weapon ever created by
mankind,] the blond one said. What had her name been? Jerico asked
himself. Doctor something. I�ll get the names soon enough. Right 
now he was waiting for the �most powerful weapon� to show up.
	[Can I guess?] he asked as the two women talked quietly to each other.


Unfamiliar, but Welcome (pt. 2): �Another Fine Mess�

A Needlessly Verbose Title Production

Special Effects by Close Your Eyes and Imagine damn it! Inc.

Catering by ARMARK (unfortunately)

Titles by Another Silly Axiom, Limited

All text in [ ] is English.

	�What do you think, Ritsuko?� Misato asked quietly as Jerico stared out
the window at the Geofront. 
	�An interesting young man.�
	�He�s older than both of us, you know,� Misato said as she followed
Jerico�s gaze towards the skyscrapers that dotted the roof of the
cavern. �Think of all the things he went through, first hand. Vietnam,
the Gulf War, the Recession.�
	�Misato, he wasn�t born for Vietnam, and he was twelve or so for the
Gulf War.�
	�Whatever. Still, he�s taking it well.�
	�Probably too confused to do anything else.�
	�So what�s Project Y?� Misato asked after a moment of quiet.
	�You�ll see,� Ritsuko replied, an amused look on her face. 
	[What�s is this place?] Jerico asked.
	[This is the Geofront,] Misato said as the elevator continued to
plunge.
	[You�re about to see the most powerful weapon ever created by man,]
Ritsuko said as they passed into one of the buildings, the Geofront
obscured from their vision.
	[Can I guess?]
	[Guess what?] Misato asked.
	[What the weapon is. Some strange man piloted robot, constructed from
barely understood principals and extraterrestrial technology that only
children can pilot, right?] Jerico laughed as he finished.
	The two women shared a glance. [Well, not entirely.] Misato said.
	Jerico stopped laughing very quickly. [Entirely?] he said, a small
portion of his brain realizing his habit of repeating the last word
said.
	[Its not really a robot,] Ritsuko said, hand brushing away a large drop
of sweat that had appeared on her head apparently from thin air. 

	Ayanami Rei stood next to her Eva, staring at it vacantly. Her face
was, as usual, devoid of emotion or thought, and no one could say if she
was thinking. She was silently humming a song that she 
had heard over the radio while returning from school earlier that day.
It was in English, so she assumed the confusion she felt over the
lyrical material was due to a lack of grounding in the language or
perhaps cultural differences. 
	Her stare focused for a moment as she saw an elevator car descend down
the far wall of the cages. The elevator�s passage distracted her enough
for the song to overpower her silence. A ghostly chorus of �Mmm-bop�
echoed from her perch next to the Eva. 
	In the silence that followed she returned her glance to the Eva. She
had heard of the incident with Suzihara. She had also been approached by
Commander Ikari and asked to observe the Fourth�s behavior. The
Commander had informed her of the situation regarding the new
personality inside Suzihara and its history. She was also told about
Unit Y. She accepted it all in silence. She had no other way of dealing
with orders. 
	But she was unsure of her feelings. There was a faint taint of
curiosity, colored with a strong distaste. She had known Suzihara, come
as close as she could to enjoying his company. A strong feeling of 
a something she hadn�t known before filled her when she thought of
another person taking Suzihara�s body, and the way Fuyutsuki-sensei
explained it, his entire existence. It was unlike anything she had felt
before, a confusing mess of emotions that tangled together 
	After a little bit of reading she had found a name for it. Betrayal.
	

	[Those are man�s greatest weapons? A sixty meter tall robot?] exclaimed
Jerico, excitedly. 
	[Yes. The Evangelion. The blue one is Unit 00, the first Eva
constructed. To its left is unit 02, the 
first production model. Unit 01, the first battle tested Eva is down in
the cooling bath being repaired after 
suffering some minor damage.]
	[They look a little�um, evil. How do you power them?] he asked, running
through Ritsuko�s attempt to answer. [Too skinny for a flywheel, not
enough bulk for cooling a MHD dynamo. Superconducting coils?] he stared
at Ritsuko, waiting for an answer.
	She looked a little uncomfortable, so Misato answered for her. [See
those cords hanging back there?]
	[The ones that look like big extension� You�re kidding, right?]
	[Power supply technology hasn�t advanced at anything close to the
demand these units require at peak operation. The only feasible delivery
system was the power cable method,] Ritsuko said, accent 
increasing slightly as she defended the Eva system. 
	Jerico shook his head slightly as they dropped past the cages and into
another tunnel. [And I�m going to be working here? Doing what exactly?]
he asked as he stared up where the Eva�s stated. 
	[Piloting.]
	[Somehow I expected that.] He seemed rather excited. [I�m pretty sure
this is a dream now. I mean almost everything I could�ve wanted to
happen to me is going on here. No other explanation for this.]
	[I can assure you this isn�t a dream,] Misato said after she shared a
quick look with Ritsuko. 
	[You would. You being part of the dream. Its all right though, I�ll
play along. Which one do I get to pilot?]
	[Actually, none of these. You�ll be piloting Unit Y. That�s where we�re
heading right now.]
	[Oh. A prototype next generation Eva?] he asked hopefully.
	[Prototype is correct. Next generation and Eva isn�t. Unit Y was an
early experimental development, produced at the same time as Unit 00 and
Unit 01. It uses radically different technologies and embodies a very
different design philosophy,] Misato said suddenly.
	[Very good Captain! I see you�ve learned to read out loud already]
Ritsuko said sarcastically. [I�ll have someone get you a copy of the
Unit Y reports that�s been translated into English.]
	[Thank you,] Jerico said as the elevator came to a halt, far far below
the surface.
	[We�re here,] Ritsuko said as the doors opened silently. 
	A massive storage room, nothing more than a massive empty cube greeted
them. The lights were off, and anything stored inside was hidden by the
shadows that filled the room. [This,] Ritsuko said dramatically as the
lights came on suddenly, [is Unit Y.]
	The massive figure before them was fully visible, thanks to powerful
lights positioned all around it. Though it looked huge, Misato realized
it was actually shorter than the Eva�s above. It resembled them 
after a fashion, replacing the sleek lanky frames of the Evangelions
with a bulkier, more robotic appearance. The outer skin of the unit was
peeled off in many places, revealing a huge assembly of push 
rods, hydraulic pistons and bundles of what could only be myomar fibers.
Dust covered everything in the room, and recent footprints stood out
against the carpet of decay. 
	Boxes of supplies surrounded the Unit, tossed messily into piles.
Crates of documentation were thrown in for good measure, just in case
the room wasn�t confused enough. As they watched, a large stretch 
of armor plate felt the need for freedom from the oppressive mass, and
broke off. The noise it produced echoed across the large room, bouncing
from wall to wall eerily.
	[Why do I feel like I just got a lemon?] was all Jerico had to say.

	�What did he mean by lemon?� Ritsuko asked after they had dropped
Jerico off at the Commander�s office. 
	�Maybe he had sour feelings about the state of his Eva,� Misato
conjectured. She changed topics suddenly, �Where is he going to stay?� 
	�I haven�t the foggiest. He�ll probably get an apartment to himself. I
doubt he�ll stay with his- I mean Suzihara�s family. Why, feeling the
need to express your motherly side?�
	�Not really. I don�t think he needs a mother right now. He�s pretty
grown up.�
	�He said things I didn�t expect to come out the mouth of a 14 year old,
that�s for sure. Do you think he�ll hold up?� the Doctor asked.
	�That�s your department, Ritsuko-sensei,� Misato mocked in good humor.
�How about some drinks?� she asked.
	�Shouldn�t you explain this to Shinji and Asuka?�
	�Yeah, that�s why I need some drinks first.�

	Asuka stepped out of the shower, happy to be free of all traces of LCL.
The sticky fluid irritated her and ruined her hair, so she had bought a
set of conditioners and skin lotions that she kept in her 	locker.
Smiling happily, she put on her trademark yellow sundress, stuffing her
shower equipment into the locker. She loved feeling clean after a hard
day of tests, and was actually looking forward to going back to Misato�s
apartment that night. It was Shinji�s turn to cook, and he was actually
worthwhile when he decided to put a little effort into it.
	She took her book and slung it over her shoulder, checking one last
time to make sure she hadn�t forgotten anything. Then she straightened
her hair briefly, whistling as she looked in the mirror and stepped out
into the hall.
	She half walked, half skipped towards the elevator not really paying
attention to where she was going. After all no one walked down here
besides Shinji and Rei, both of which had gone home already. 
After realizing that fact, she broke out into a whistle and turned the
corner, smacking into someone.
	The someone had been looking at a piece of paper, grumbling quietly to
himself. As he was bent over Asuka impacted his head with her chest. The
whistling stopped and the unprepared individual was 
knocked unceremoniously on his ass. 
	�You!� Asuka said, happy mood forgotten. �You worthless piece of crap!
Watch where you�re going! Pervert!� she stood, hands firmly mounted on
her hips, staring down at Touji disgustedly. The 
silence mounted as the shocked child tried to pull himself up to his
feet. 
	�Well, aren�t you going to say anything?� she exclaimed, even more
annoyed than she had been before her shower. 
	Jerico looked at her, trying to understand what the hell was going on.
He had heard a lot of Japanese over the course of the day, and was
coming no closer to understanding it than before. He did pick 
out the word �baka� a couple of times as the attractive young girl kept
yelling. He braced himself for an outburst and said: [Um, sorry. I�m
trying to find the elevator out of here. There�s a guy waiting for me at 
the main entrance, who�s supposed to take me to an apartment somewhere.]
	Asuka stopped quite suddenly. She was sure Touji couldn�t speak
English, and though her understanding wasn�t complete, it didn�t sound
quite like him either. �Who are you!� she demanded, not letting the
confusion out. 
	[Excuse me? Um, konnichi wa?]
	�Idiot. Get out of my way,� Asuka said, impatience and strange sense of
unease overcoming any curiosity that she felt. 
	[Sorry,] Jerico said, thinking, I wish I had a phrase book or
something. [Now where�s that elevator?] He followed her around the
corner, confusion and frustration combining to shorten his temper.
	[Hey! You there! Can I get a simple answer! All I want is to find the
damn elevator!]
	�Get away from me you pervert! I don�t want to talk to you.�
	[Ah, why bother. Bitch,] Jerico said. That might have come out a bit
strong, he thought.
 	[Who are you calling a bitch, little man,] the redhead said coldly in
accented English. She had 
stopped in her tracks, and Jerico caught off guard, collided with her
again.
	[Whoops!] Jerico said as he fell on his ass again. I wonder if I should
just stick my foot in my mouth without getting up. [Look I�m sorry. I�ve
had a rough day, and I�m just trying to find my way out of 
here.]
	[You confuse me with someone who cares,] Asuka said acidly as she
pulled herself to her feet. She pointed her nose to the ceiling and
turned around, eyes catching sight of someone walking down the 
hall.
	�Kaji! This pervert won�t leave me alone.� She ran up to him and
grabbed onto his arm, demeanor changing entirely. 
	�Asuka,� Kaji said in an amused tone. �That�s no way to treat the new
pilot.� 
	�WHAT!� Asuka bellowed. �He�s a pilot! But we don�t have any more
Eva�s, and Touji�Oh why does every other pilot have to be so weird! Why
couldn�t we get a pilot like Hikari.�
	Ignoring this little outburst, Kaji turned to face the confused boy
still on the floor. He offered a hand, and said [Hello. My name is Kaji,
you must be Jerico. I�ve been looking for you for a while. You 
were supposed to meet me at the main entrance.]
	[Um, sorry.] He let Kaji pull him up. [Thanks. Yeah, I got lost,] he
said, obviously ashamed at his inability to find his own way.
	[I see you�ve met Asuka, one of the other pilots.]
	[Yeah, we�ve met. Didn�t catch the name though. Look, Miss Asuka,] he
said, butchering the pronunciation,  [I apologize for running into you,
and I hope we haven�t gotten off on the wrong foot.] He 
looked at her as he tried to force as much real feeling into his
apology.
	[Fine,] Asuka said. [Apology accepted.] She didn�t sound sincere.
Jerico sighed, giving up. At least I won�t have to live with her, he
thought.
	[Now lets get you two kids home. Asuka I�ll give you a ride, since I
heading that way to drop off 
Jerico.]
	�You mean�_he�s_ living with us? Why?�
	�He�s not living in Misato�s apartment.�
	�Thank God,� Asuka said, in a relieved tone.
	�He�ll be right across the hall.�
	All Asuka could do was make a choking noise.
	[Um, did I miss something?] Jerico asked, confused by the whole
exchange. 
	[Nothing at all,] Kaji said. [Shall we?]

	Asuka ignored Jerico as soon as they got into the building. The
elevator ride up was silent besides the low piped in muszak that Jerico
couldn�t place. As the car reached the appropriate floor she stepped out 
without a sound and went to a door. Jerico waited for Kaji to show him
his apartment, which happened to be directly across the small hallway
from the door Asuka had entered. 
	As the two entered the small apartment, Jerico looked around.  It was a
real apartment, with an open kitchen that connected to a decent sized
living space, currently empty. A short hallway led to what he 
assumed were a bathroom and bedroom. The kitchen had a small stove, with
three burners and an oven, along with a fridge and a small table and
some counter space. Jerico thought it was as close to a perfect 
house as he could expect. Free rent, too.
	He glanced out the window at the city, forgetting about Kaji for a
moment. In the twilight the buildings were beginning to rise, a truly
spectacular sight for a refugee from the 20th century like himself. 
He remembered his manners and another bit of Japanese linguistic trivia.
	[Thank you, Kaji-san,] he said, genuinely appreciative of the strange
man.
	[Just doing my job,] he said. [There are several legal issues that
you�ll need to get addressed tomorrow, along with a series of
introductions for you. Here�s a couple of documents that NERV Personnel 
asked me to give you. And watch your use of Japanese like that,] he said
seriously. [You�d be better off not using it at all than insulting
people. If I was someone else then I could be insulted by being called
my first name.]	
	[Oh, sorry. I didn�t realize.]
	[Don�t worry about me,] Kaji said with a smirk, [I don�t really care.
Try oyasminasai instead. I�ll get NERV to get you some furniture
tomorrow, too.]
	[Thanks. For the language lesson and the furniture. But I think I�ll go
shopping tomorrow, provided this thing,] he lifted his combination NERV
ID, debit card, and phone card, [gets juiced up. Have 
a good nigh- I mean oyamasiina,] he finished, knowing he butchered the
word but not being able to do anything about it.
	[Good night, Mele-san,] Kaji said as he closed the door.
 	He listened to Kaji�s steps as the other man left. Jerico sat down on
the windowsill overlooking the city, suddenly lonely. He was very far
from where and when he had started his day�s journey. And I 
haven�t packed so well, he thought.
	Across the hall, Asuka, whose wall butted up against the hall�s, heard
a strange chuckle. Crazy Suzihara, she thought darkly as she tried to
pick out Kaji�s footsteps from the hall.

	Jerico woke up early. Much earlier than he would have liked, but
there�s not much he could do about the banging going on at his door.
There hadn�t been a bed in what he supposed was the bedroom, so 
he had slept on the floor of the living room. He got up, not really
realizing that he wasn�t in Boston anymore. He went to his door, in a
half cognizant attempt to find out what the fuck was going on. He was 
going to have words with whoever decided that�well he didn�t really care
what time it was, it was too early.
	He reached the door, only marginally aware that it wasn�t the same as
the door he�d seen every morning for the past six months. Ignoring the
peep hole he opened the door violently, about to start yelling when he
saw who it was.
	[Jerico, hurry up! I overslept and we�ve got to get to NERV!] the
Captain yelled, her accent flavoring the familiar greeting with an
unusual bit of spice.
	Jerico stood there for a moment as his brain casually informed him that
whatever dream he had been having the night before hadn�t ended yet.
Then he looked down at his clothes, the ones the Suzihara 
boy had been wearing before his accident (Jerico�s mind shied away from
considering the exact situation he was in), that he had slept in the
night before. 
	[I don�t have any changes of clothes,] he began weakly, only to be
grabbed by the jacket and dragged bodily out of the room. 
	[That�s good,] Misato yelled, [ cause we don�t have any time for you to
change. The assembly starts in ten minutes.]  She continued to drag him
until they reached the elevator, stuffing him in with a 
couple of other kids. One, he noticed, was the red head from the night
before. She was sliding to the other side of the elevator, as far from
Jerico as possible. The other was a young boy around her age. My age
too, Jerico added silently. 
	The boy was staring at the floor, looking rather downcast. His eyes
were large and deep blue, unusually vibrant for someone who seemed
depressed. The boy looked up at Jerico as Misato began 
banging buttons in a panic attack. 
	�Touji?� the boy asked. �How are you feeling?�
	To Jerico, it sounded like so much nonsense. But behind him, Jerico
heard Misato groan. 

	Shinji was in a worse mood than ever. Misato had slept late today,
apparently up late working on something that had come up at NERV. Asuka
had been in an especially bad mood all morning, refusing to 
comment on what had put her in such a state. Not that Shinji had tried
to pry too much. He was still confused at the new girl�s actions. And
now he knew what was wrong with Touji. 
	�He doesn�t speak Japanese?� Shinji asked incredulously as he and Asuka
sat down in the massive auditorium at the heart of NERV�s upper
buildings. He had only been in here twice before, after he arrived 
and after Asuka had begun working here. Shinji supposed Rei had received
a greeting like this as well. 
	Now, the vast majority of NERV�s employees were gathered in this
auditorium to greet the person who stole Touji�s body. Shinji supposed
he shouldn�t judge the new person so harshly, but there it was: his 
feelings were already set against the new arrival. Shinji sat quietly as
they introduced Fuyutsuki, Commander Ikari being �at a meeting.� It was
just as well with Shinji that his father wasn�t there. 
	Asuka stiffened as Rei sat down between the two Children. She didn�t
like Rei at all. Something about her seemed lifeless, past even the
silent treatment she was constantly giving the world, or lack of any 
discernable emotions. She muttered some form of greeting, which the blue
haired girl nodded to, and listened to Shinji stammer his way through a
�Good morning, Ayanami.�
	�Good morning, Ikari,� Rei said back softly. Asuka remarked silently
that Rei was in a talkative mood today. Then she sat back slightly, back
still a couple of centimeters from the backrest. Ah, Asuka thought,
she�s relaxing.
	Asuka bristled as the biggest idiot in the world came out on stage.
Touji Suzihara sauntered on stage, dressed in the same outfit he had
worn the other day, his hair messy and unkempt. She didn�t know 
what that fool was playing at, but she was sure that he was a complete
nut. He had flashed her on the boat, after all.
	Out of the corner of Asuka�s eye, she noticed Rei tense slightly as he
came on stage. Thinking silently as she ignored the Sub Commander�s
explanation of the Fourth Child�s identity, Asuka revised her opinion of
Wonder Girl. If Ayanami doesn�t like Touji then she can�t be all that
bad, she concluded.

	By the time Jerico was done being paraded around the stage, he sat
back, comfortably behind the curtain. Kaji was sitting next to him,
going over the paperwork that was necessary to get everything in 
order. 
	As Kaji talked he could tell that Jerico had something on his mind. 
	[Jerico, is there something you�re thinking about?] he asked after a
few moments.
	[No, nothing,] Jerico said defensively.
	[Then why have you been staring at the wall over there for the last
couple of minutes?]
	[Just an observation,] Jerico replied.
	[Regarding what?] Kaji prodded, an inkling of an answer already in his
mind.
	[Who did the hiring for NERV?]
	[Mostly the UN. Ikari Gendou had the last word in most cases. Why?]
	[How is it that every female who works here is so damn hot?]
	[Hot?] Kaji asked, not quite certain at its meaning.
	[Attractive? Not one girl in that crowd could be called homely. Even
the ones dressed like lunch ladies look pretty good.]
	Fuyutsuki looked up from his notes as a really loud laugh rang out from
behind the curtain. �Ahem,� he said as he continued, �the new technical
crew schedules will be out by the time you all leave, 
so make certain��

	Jerico looked out at the street. There was nothing even remotely
familiar. He couldn�t make any sense of the subway map behind him, and
no one around him could speak any English. He nervously 
glanced around Main Street Tokyo 3, as he dubbed the main shopping
center. People were streaming through, all getting much closer to Jerico
than he was used to. Frustration and alienation combined to force 
Jerico to sit down. Man, he thought, I could use a cigarette. Course,
its not my body, but�
	He brushed off the thought, concentrating on thinking about how he had
gotten to this damn location. He had a couple of bags full of stuff,
odds and ends that he had preferred to carry home rather 
than have shipped back to his apartment along with the furniture he
bought. Unfortunately, the phrasebook he bought had been with the
furniture, and he had no clue how to use the phones that dotted the
area. 
	Great way to start off my 4 day vacation, he thought glumly as he sat
down at the subway station. No, I�m fine, he remembered saying before he
left NERV, I�ll be able to find my way back.
	[Damn it,] he muttered.
	[Pilot Mele,] he heard a quiet voice say from across the platform.



Next Time:
	The author continues to bat around with the theme and style of the fic.
Additionally, he makes good his promise regarding the teen drinking and
Islander camaraderie, reveals the secrets of Unit Y and 
hopefully settles in for a long haul. Just a reminder: for a good
Evangelion self insert fic, please find Chris Davies� Scenario no
Kawari. Then treat this humble rag with a bit of pity. 

Author�s Notes:
	Kaji�s little lesson regarding Japanese is based on information
garnered from Mastering Basic Japanese, by Nobuo and Carol Akiyama. If
anyone has better information regarding etiquette and levels of 
formality in Japanese greetings please let me know, I�m interested in
learning the language. As always, C&C accepted, encouraged and responded
to. 
For more like this, check out www.undergrad.brandeis.edu/~jmele and let
me know what you think about this story or anything else at
jmele@brandeis.edu

Most characters in this fic are owned and created by Gainax, except
Jerico Mele, owned and copyrighted by the Society for Creative
Interpretation of Reality.