"Morpheus the Shaper" <milamber@mindspring.com> wrote:

The Other Breaking Point

By

Morpheus the Shaper

The other characters are handled reasonably, but Ranma seems extremely
OOC to me. I think you really need to address *why* he's taking such
drastic and uncharacteristic steps to try to resolve his situation, when
he was generally pretty much content to follow the path of least
resistance in the series.

The writing looks pretty good... but one thing: never let two different
speakers have dialog in the same paragraph. Always start a new one when
the person talking changes.


Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics