Hi!

"Hearts and Minds" so far is quite good, well written and interesting.  I only had one tiny complaint: 

	Mu Si turned around. Kuonji Ukyo, another of Ranma's would-be
brides, was speaking with Azusa and her old skating partner, Sanzenin
Mikado. She held a small metal spatula. "Rhonda! Rhonda!"

>From the wording of the second sentence, I was expecting the "she" in the third sentence to refer to Ukyou. However, I was tripped up for a second or two while I tried to figure out why on Earth Ukyou would be saying "Rhonda! Rhonda!"  ^_^;; It would help if you changed the third sentence so it's obvious that "she" refers to Azusa and not to Ukyou.


Megan Jones                   bwerith@mac-addict.com
http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Museum/4728/index.html
"Minds are like parachutes.  They only function when
open."  -Sir James Dewar



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