Don't ask me what brought this on. I think it was watching "Once a
Thief" (the cheesy TV series based on the remake, not the original
Chow-Yun Fat one) that brought this on. Don't ask me what time period
this takes place in, it's not supposed to be canonist.
Anyway, without further ado...
*****
They're quick.
They're deadly.
They're the #1 team of Agents that Special Ops has.
They're too young to drink.
They're...
Special Ops Team 1/2
A somewhat irreverent romp through the world of criminal espionage as
seen through the eyes of teenagers
by Lawrence Chu
Based on characters created by Takahashi Rumiko
***
In a secluded area of Tokyo, there lies a building. In it, some of the
world's top secret agents meet together as a group. There, under the
organization of one of the most ruthless leaders ever known to man, they
plan out the most daring of deeds, the most cunning of crackdowns, and
the most interesting of infiltrations within.
It is an okonomiyaki restaurant.
And a fairly popular one at that.
"ORDER UP!" Ukyou created fifteen okonomiyaki (for those keeping count,
that's six pork, three special, three vegetarian, two plain, and one
Meat Lover's) and let her waitress...er, waiter...whatever Konatsu was
deliver them to their respective tables.
One of them, of which one vegetarian plate was delivered, was a booth
with a woman whose face was covered by a newspaper. She laid it down on
her table, took out a pen and a highlighter, and started marking
articles.
She was interrupted by a young man with a pigtail and a girl with almost
tomboyishly short hair. "'Scuse me, mind if we sit here? Everyplace
else is chock full of people."
She never looked up, but she managed a "No, it's all right, you can sit
there if you like." The couple made their orders and started talking to
each other (if you could call it talking--it was more like an extremely
heated debate involving the use of various weaponry).
Ten minutes later, another young man with a bandanna tied around his
head wandered in with a confused look on his face, walked by their
table, and asked, "Where is Nerima?"
The three people gestured to the table. He sat down next to the woman,
who just shifted her newspaper to the side and allowed him in.
The four of them sat there, in three different worlds, until the shop
closed.
"Okay, Ken-chan, you can rest now," called Ukyou from behind the
counter. She turned off the stove, cleaned off the countertop, and sat
down in the chair at the end of the booth. Konatsu just sat at a nearby
table and poured himself a glass of water.
The woman finished with her marking of the newspaper and set it down,
one particular article visible.
"There's our assignment, ladies and gentlemen. This has KUNO written
all over it."
The headline read:
FOUR ARBORETUMS RANSACKED
Disaster strikes one week
before Int'l Botany Conf.
The woman continued. "Although the police deny it publicly, my sources
within the station report that all the arboretums were covered with
black rose petals. Everyone here knows what that means." All of them
nodded.
Ukyou looked around. "Say...we're short one person, aren't we?
Where's..."
Her voice trailed off. Her pulse started pounding as she let her eyes
wander about the room, slowly, as she looked at each of the people and
made a mental roll call of each person, checking each person off the
roster list until only one name was left. She paled, and her eyes
wandered slowly down to the chair she was sitting in at that moment.
The name came out with a shaky voice, because she was afraid that she
knew exactly where he was at that moment.
"Tsubasa..."
The door opened. Tsubasa wandered in. "Sorry about that, Nabs.
Traffic."
Everyone facefaulted, causing a number of dents in the table.
Nabiki tossed Tsu the newspaper. "KUNO's at it again."
"Killers United? Where...oh, got it." The transvestite-by-day stared
down at the article, then handed it to Konatsu. "'Natsu, look through
our dossiers and match up the people that might have done it, will you?
That's a good kunoichi." Konatsu nodded and went to the attic.
Tsu straightened out his suit and pulled up a chair. "Saotome. Tendo.
Hibiki." He nodded to each of the people, and the nodded back.
Nabiki pulled another folder from her jacket. "KUNO. Killers UNited
Operations. Previous leader rejected after attempting to shave all the
members' heads. His son, the current president, is extremely skilled in
kendo. I have tried to curry favor with him, though all negotiations
have failed. The assassins he selects are an elite few, though he hires
a number of others who act more like PR executives who run their day
operations."
She took a sip of bottled water and set it down. "Our job is to
infiltrate KUNO's main base, located beneath the president's mansion,
and discover exactly what they plan on doing with those stolen plants.
Hold on a sec, wait until Konatsu comes back with his report."
Konatsu came down with a folder and a video. "Got it!" he called,
putting both down on a table. He produced a VCR and television from
beneath the counter/grill and placed it in front of them. He loaded the
tape and played it, and the display immediately showed a buxom woman in
a tight leotard, who was performing some rather flexible moves that
could be interpreted in various ways. Ryouga's nose exploded on the
spot, and the other males started drooling a little bit subconsciously
(including Konatsu).
"This is Kodachi, AKA the Black Rose. She's both the chief biochemist
and assassin within KUNO. She happens to be the sister of the
president, though their relationship is somewhat strained. Her criminal
trademark is a trail of black roses at the scene of the crime. Be
warned, no matter how unarmed she looks, she always has concealed
weapons; that is how she was trained." Konatsu stopped the tape and
opened up the folder. "This is her criminal record. Impressive, ne?"
Tsubasa scanned down the list and whistled. "Even more impressive is
the number of times she gets away with it."
Nabiki sat, and gave her orders. "Tsubasa, you're going in with recon.
Stay in there until you know exactly what they're doing. Probably
something to do with biochemical weapons. Go to it!"
Tsubasa stood up and shouted, "YES MA'AM!" And with that, he stormed
out the door.
"Ranma, Akane, provide backup. You'll stay a block down from from KUNO
HQ. You know exactly what you're supposed to do." With that, she
winked. They blushed. Akane got her mallet out on instinct alone.
"Get to it, you crazy lovebirds. Now don't blow your cover, no matter
what you do, understood?"
Ryouga looked like he was about to explode. Combined with the fact that
there was still blood dripping from his nose, it looked like he had just
gone through a bar brawl. It was Akane that Ranma was going out with.
HIS Akane! How DARE he!
*CLANG*
Ukyou lifted her spatula off of his head. "Much better."
"Mm-hm. Ryouga, make sure you're at THIS place by six. We're going to
need you to shake the spies until then." She drew up a map and pointed
at a small street not far away from Ucchan's. "Ukyou, you go with him
and make sure he doesn't go too far, okay?" Ukyou nodded.
Nabiki inhaled a little bit, then said the word. "Scramble."
And they did.
***
dial nit
##############
RING
RING
CONNECTION ESTABLISHED, PLEASE WAIT...
ESTABLISHED AT 33600BPS.
Welcome to Nekomi Institute of Technology server version 3.1
User:nabs311
Pass:#############
Error. Pass:########
Error. Pass:##############
Logged in.
finger hitomih@nit.edu.jp
#######
Fifteen bags of popcorn under a hundred degree sun,
with two hundred fifty Snapples consumed as one.
As the student's life grows dreary,
he contiunes getting weary,
and he'll feel better when it's all said and done.
--This is Hitomi Hikaru, complaining about life.
#######
talk hitomih@nit.edu.jp /e:15p.100s.250S.1
SENDING REQUEST...
ACCEPTED. ENCRYPTING CHANNEL...
SECURE.
<hitomih> about time.
<nabs311> Sorry, Tsu stuck in traffic.
<hitomih> report
<nabs311> Sending. One moment...^C
INTERRUPTED. PLEASE RECONNECT.
encl sum.dat hitomih@nit.edu.jp /e:15p.100s.250S.1
ENCRYPTING...
SECURE. SENDING...
ACCEPTED.
talk hitomih@nit.edu.jp /e:15p.100s.250s.1
SENDING REQUEST...
ACCEPTED. ENCRYPTING CHANNEL...
SECURE.
<nabs311> Enjoy. BTW, like the new "pass. error" messages. Worked like
a charm.
<hitomih> No prob
<nabs311> We still on for tomorrow?
<hitomih> sure, just swing by the cmpus, at 8
<nabs311> OK
<hitomih> campus
<hitomih> need to establish comm with tsu, 1sec
<naDisconnected. Press ctrl-c to leave.^C
list
USERS ONLINE (LIST ACCURATE AS OF 3:37:41.39348):
There are [15] users currently on the nit.edu.jp server.
<5dai>
<annohide>
<arasakin>
<chowyunf>
<darkwnd>
<fujishik>
<hitomih>
<k1>
<lumlover>
<megami1>
<muhoshik>
[nabs311]
<penpen>
<sadamoty>
<takahasr>
talk k1@nit.edu.jp
SENDING REQUEST...
ACCEPTED.
<nabs311> Don't forget the payment tomorrow. I need money for a dinner
date.
<k1> Anything to keep her identity a secret.
<nabs311> As long as you have the cash.^C
INTERRUPTED. PLEASE RECONNECT.
fingINCOMING TALK REQUEST FROM hitomih@nit.edu.jp. ACCEPT? [Y|N]y
CONNECTING...
CONNECTED.
<hitomih> comm setup. back one hour.
<nabs311> Any later, and Ranma and Akane charge in. Don't worry.
Later.
<hitomih> sure thing^C
INTERRUPTED. PLEASE RECONNECT.
lo
DISCONNECTED FROM SERVER
quit
***
Killers United, or KUNO, as most official and underground officials call
it, is a highly sophisticated combination of warehouse/laboratory/gold
store that resides underneath the mansion. The Chief of Security,
Sasuke, makes sure that the traps are well-set and maintained by the
hour, and that cameras, which cover all angles by the way, are all
functioning.
This is the reason why Sasuke believed that they were safe. He and a
crew of twenty kept an eye on all the monitors, all the time, alert for
any people who might be scurrying towards the house. Typically, when
one is spotted, the crew gets out the popcorn and enjoys watching the
poor bastard get fried.
However, none of them were on the lookout for a moving flowerpot.
Anyone who saw it would believe it to be one of Kodachi's experiments
anyway.
Kurenai Tsubasa, reconnaisance specialist, crawled along in his
flowerpot disguise, inching across the field, carefully avoiding
whatever security traps there might have been, as he made his way to
what his blueprints said was the back entrance.
He was almost there...three more feet...
The flower pot continued to glide across, stopping only once to step
over a tripwire.
Two more feet...
One foot left...
Six inches....
Five...
Four...
Three...
Two...
One...
One half...
One quarter...
One ei*THWACK* Ow!
While the narrator got the idea that he was carrying it too far, Tsubasa
stepped on the ledge of the back doorway and knocked on the door. A
servant came out, and the last thing he saw was a flower pot making a
grab towards him.
A moment later, Tsubasa stepped out in the servant's uniform (and
convenient anonymous facial mask) and anchored the pot so that the
servant wouldn't be able to jump up and down. With that, he strode in.
As he continued down the corridor, a series of faceless people wandered
about, rushing to and fro, sending information about. People in lab
coats, people with clipboards, people in suits, and various combinations
of the three were passing by, scooting around, and standing about him.
Good for him, they didn't notice him. He continued until he reached an
area labeled
#####################
# -*BIOCHEM LAB*- #
# #
# ACCESS PROHIBITED #
# W/O AUTHORIZATION #
# VIOLATION OF THIS #
# MAY RESULT IN #
# SEVERE PUNISHMENT #
# EG TORTURE AND/OR #
# DEATH #
# #
# HAVE A NICE DAY #
#####################
and hid nearby.
It was all going to plan.
***
"Sir! Sir!"
KUNO security staff member Gosunkugi Hikaru tried in vain to get
Sasuke's attention. Being the new member typically has that kind of
problem. Being Gosunkugi tended to amplify that problem by about ten.
Billion.
After five minutes of going unnoticed, Sasuke ran right into him, which
solved his visibility problem. He finally reported what was distubing
him.
"Sasuke, sir, I think we have a problem. I sense a disturbance in the
Force around the BioChem lab--sir! Sir! Don't walk away like that,
it's rude. Ow, my shin. Don't touch me like that, it hurts. Come
back! Itaaaiiii..."
Gosunkugi decided right then and there that he had to do something about
what he saw. He drew out his mallet, nail and voodoo doll, and readied
it.
Inhale.
Chant.
Exhale.
STRIKE!
"AAAAUUGGGGGHHHHHHH!" The scream of pain delighted Gosunkugi. Not
because he was into sadism or anything, but it meant that he was doing a
hell of a lot better with his voodoo.
"Kuso! Gosunkugi, you just killed one of the camera maintainers!"
But not better enough.
***
Still working on it...comments to chu_bear@hotmail.com
*****
WARNING: Gratuitous sig file ahead.
b $$P |"And I'll feel better
$$P $$ | in the morning,
d$$eee$$eeeee$$e | The pain will fade as
,d$P $$ | time goes by,
dP" $$ | What was taken, I won't
$$ | miss or I'll replace
eeeeeeeeeee$$eeeeeeee$$e | Nevermind me,
$$ | I'm all right."
,$$ $$ `b |--"Nevermind Me,"
,$$ $$ `b. | The Bosstones
d$P $$ `$b. |chu_bear@hotmail.com
,d$P $$ `$$bee |ICQ: LoopyChew, 8413137
edP" $$ `$$ |http://www.geocities.com/
"7$P | SunsetStrip/Studio/7508/
__ __
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