John Biles & Rod M. Present
           A Neon Genesis Evangelion Elseworlds


                 Children of an Elder God

                          Part 4

                      "Asuka Strikes"

YAY

"And how do you propose to do that?  We haven't
located any of the others, and if we wait too long to deal
with the Wind-Walker, some of the others will likely rouse
themselves as well."

So my Ithaqua guess was on-target.

        Asuka awoke feeling... it was hard to say exactly
what, but the closest equivalent would be the words "mild
discomfort".  Even those words, however, weren't quite
accurate. 

<jump>

        The day was looking better already, but Asuka still
couldn't shake that feeling of... something akin to mild
discomfort. 

<jump>

 A chill suddenly ran through her spine.  That
earlier feeling... that unidentifiable disturbing feeling... 
came back stronger than before. 

I don't like Asuka, but still, isn't getting turned into a living brain
trapped within an immobile, leathery, mummy-body a bit harsh?

Many people like ice cream.  Many people like lots of
ice cream.  Nobody likes having it pumped into their mouth
twenty four hours a day until they get so sick they want to
die. 

Heh. Speak for yourself.

Shinji smiled.  "Every night is a wild party if only
for one person with Misato, I think." 

The only unworking sentence I was able to find. You might want to use
commas somehow, or rearrange it (...party with Misato, even if it is
only for one person/two people/us two.)

Maya frowned.  Before her was a 3D image of Rei's
body, cycling through images of her nervous, circulatory,
and respiratory systems, as well as close-up representations
of the sections of her brain. 

Labeled "Inactive", "Inactive", and "Brooding over the meaninglessness
of the life of a created being", no doubt.

"I know these feelings are new to you, but don't
worry, they're just natural." 

        "Not to me." 

Because she's not natural, perhaps? One of the big things I never got
about EVA was the fact that NOBODY seemed to notice that Rei was not
"just weird", but out-and-out artificial.

 "That may not be wise," Fuyutsuki said.  "The
Revelations of Hali, the fifth volume of the Seven Cryptical
Books of Hsan, and the Eltdown Shards all contain versions
of the Great Prophecy which assert that his survival is
crucial to the Great Return.  In fact, all but the Eltdown
Shards go so far as to say that if he is destroyed, the
ancient masters of the Earth may never return.  Now, many of
the other sources of the Prophecy, such as the Revelations
of Glaaki or the R'lyeh text make no reference to such a
requirement, but..."

Aha. Since they try and keep him alive, they are now unquestionably
working towards the Great Return. Since this is the return of the
Ancient Masters, Gendo is therefore working to bring about the return of
the GOO. QED. We can now toss Gendo back into the Rat-Bastard bin, even
though there was hope for him in the first three installments. (Possibly
working in an ends-justify-the-means manner for the salvation of
humanity from the GOO).

 Rei was staring at Asuka, intensely, her face
twisted in anger.  Her fists were clenched, shaking
slightly.  It was hard to tell in the sunlight, but they
thought they saw her blood red eyes glow brightly for a
moment.

Uh-Oh. Rei cares about something. This is NEVER good.

As before, excellent.
My only gripe is that you dropped what I consider to be the funniest
scene in EVA (The wind, the dress, slap, the pants, slap).

Fuyutski's and Gendo's conversation raises an interesting question:
Since many of the GOO are localized or stuck somewhere, how the hell
will they fight them?


-- 
David Siegel
dhs28@columbia.edu
<Webpage Coming Soonish>
There's a moral somewhere in here. I'm absolutely sure of it.