Sneak Pique
by David (fido) LIndquist.
*****************************************************
DISCLAIMER:All the Bubblegum Crisis TV series references
in this fic are the property of ADvision(KAMI HELP US!) :).
All BGC references are owned by Animeigo. All other anime
references are owned by others. Bubblegum Zone is the work
of Bert Van Vliet and is used with his permission.
******************************************************
FOREWORD: C&C and MST's are always welcome, Flames are not!
I would like to thank JD Farber, Scott 'Zoogz' Jameson(No
relation to the other Scott Jameson), Sean Gaffney, Gary
Kleppe and Bert Van Vliet for their permission to use their
names and/or their help in getting this written,
Thank you.
******************************************************
Most people in MegaTokyo would have considered this day
as one of the happier times of their lives. Even in the
more dubious parts of the city, the general feeling was
upbeat. The streets were clean and relatively uncongested
due to the lack of people. Most of them had already moved
to their new homes in preparation for the T.V series. For
them, the day meant working regularly again instead of
doing the rare generic crowd scene in a fanfiction or
drawing.
The AD police were happy. Rumor had it that they
would play a far more important role in the new series and
most of them thought it couldn't be worse than the 'stand
there and get blown to pieces' routine they did in the old
one.
The boomers were happy. No one knew exactly WHY they
were happy, but as any citizen of MegaTokyo would tell
you, questioning the motivation of a boomer fell under
the category of' things you do when you have a deathwish'.
Genom was...well .... content. It was said that
when Quincy, Genom's CEO, saw the T.V designs, he
laughed. Nobody had ever heard him do that before. He
continued to laugh until he was shown the designs for
himself. Fortunately, the EMTs were able to restart his
heart before it suffered any permanent damage.
For the most part, the people of MegaTokyo would
say they were happy. The woman walking up the stairs of
Ladys 633 building however would not have fallen into
that category.
Priss Asagiri wearily trudged up the steps to
Sylia's apartment. Her body ached all over and the palm
of her left hand was wrapped with a pressure bandage. The
clothes she wore looked like they could stand on their
own. Her whole appearance would have redefined the
word ' disheveled '.
* I must be getting old, * Priss thought as she
reached the top of the stairs. *Ten years ago, doing
the scenes for those fics wouldn't have hurt half as
bad as it does now.*
A few seconds later, the woman who wore the blue
hardsuit walked out of the stairwell, casting a
irritated glance at the 'out of order' sign that hung
on the main elevator.
" They'd better get that fixed soon," she
muttered, "or I'm going to have a little 'chat' with
them."
An evil grin spread across Priss's face as visions
of her beating, stomping, smashing and pummeling various
elevator repair men danced in her head. She instinctively
made a fist with her right hand and slammed it .........
.......right into the open palm of her other hand.
After a fairly long and quite colorful stream of
obscenities, she slowly began walking towards her
immediate goal, an apartment door near the end of the
hallway. A few agonizing minutes later, Priss reached
her destination and knocked.
* If I dragged myself all the way up those damn stairs
for nothing, * she thought, *somebody's gonna die! *
" Who is it?" A familiar but unexpected voice
called out from inside.
" It's me, Nene," Priss yelled back. "Open up!"
" The door's unlocked," she replied.
Opening the door, Priss walked into the Knight Sabers
leader's apartment. She saw Nene sitting and typing away
at Sylia's living room computer terminal. Priss ignored
her and headed straight towards one of the plush chairs,
plopping down in it.
" Hi Priss, " Nene said absently, her attention
focussed on the screen before her.
" Yo," she replied, enjoying the comfort of the
chair.
Nene typed in the final number sequence on the keyboard
and pressed enter. She then turned to look at Priss.
" You look like crap," she blurted out.
" Trust me, I feel much worse," Priss
replied. "Damn, It's Wednesday, I feel like roadkill, and
we still have 12 other fics to do by the end of this week!"
" Oh quit complaining, " Nene said. "You'll be
as good as new in the morning. "
" Yeah, I know," Priss responded with a slight
hint of irritation in her voice. She was definitely the
very last person that needed to be reminded that an anime
character can heal from almost any damage with a night's
sleep. "But what do I do until then?"
" Suffer in silence?" her friend remarked as she
gave Priss a slightly sarcastic look.
The blue Knight Saber glared at Nene. She then made two
attempts to stand up, both of which failed miserably. Priss
resettled into the chair and stared at the her now smirking
friend.
" Nene, " she said with the angry glint still in her
eyes. "Exactly when did you develop a deathwish?"
Nene's smirk vanished and was replaced with a combination
of concern and fear.
" This is a bad time to be giving you grief,
isn't it?" Nene asked.
" Got it right in one try, Nene-chan," Priss
answered flatly, still glaring at Nene.
" Umm......I'll go get you some aspirin," the
now nervous redhead said, then mentally finished the
sentence, *and some of your 'special' medication too.*
Nene was about to get up when a little evil thought
crept into her mind. She weighed the idea's tiny merit; the
discomfort it would cause Priss, with its EXTREMELY large
fault: her friend pounding on her until she was a grease
stain on the floor...
Nene decided to do it anyway.
The pink Knight Saber tapped a few keys on the
computer. Afterwards, barely hiding a smile, she stood up
and walked towards the kitchen door, all the time practically
feeling the angry glare still trained on her.
The blue Knight Saber continued to watch Nene as she left
the room. After her friend was out of sight, Priss relaxed
into the chair.
*Well, * she thought, *that was fun.*
Suddenly the unmanned computer terminal audio system
came on, blasting music throughout the living room. At
first Priss was surprised at the unexpected sound, then she
recognized the song.
Priss instantly clamped her hands over her ears, trying
desperately not to hear that song again.
"Please..." she whispered, "anything but that..."
Her pleas went unheeded by the computer as the music's
main lyrics began to play..
The song lyrics that, for the past few months, she would
hear constantly in her dreams and nightmares.
"I LOVE ROCK AND ROLL! SO PUT ANOTHER DIME IN THE
JUKEBOX BABY! I LOVE ROCK AND..."
"AAAARRRGHH!!!" Priss screamed as she bolted up out of
her chair. Turning around, she quickly gripped the arm rests
of her chair. With a heave, she lifted the whole chair above
her head. Still grimacing in pain, Priss started to slowly
march towards the source of her troubles.
Halfway there, she barely noticed the sound of the
kitchen door opening.
"PRISS!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? " Nene shouted.
"I'M GONNA SMASH THAT @$#%! COMPUTER, THAT'S
WHAT!!!" she screamed.
"Remember rule 5?!" Nene said, a part of her mind
wondering what '@$#%!' actually meant. She then said;
"If you smash that computer, you'll have to pay for
it!"
"It will be worth it," Priss responded as she
got closer to her target.
Nene was starting to panic now. Sylia would not be
happy with her if she let Priss destroy the
computer. Especially since it would be her fault for
provoking Priss in the first place! Then she remembered
a conversation she eavesdr...ah, overheard between Priss
and Sylia.
*I don't have anything to lose.* she thought.
"If you destroy that computer, " Nene quickly
blurted out. " Sylia won't let you participate in any
more of those private training session with her!"
Priss froze at the mention of being barring from
Sylia's private training sessions. Her toughts were
suddenly filled with the image of Sylia working out,
wearing a skin-tight leotard that left extremely little
to the imagination. Of course the image instantly
progressed to the part where Sylia would seductively
purr that she 'got a cramp' and ask Priss to 'rub
it out'. That was usually the point where the REAL
workout began.
Her thoughts then drifted to the last time they
'worked out' together. She still couldn't believe how
much enjoyment they got out of a pair of handcuffs,
two quarts of watergate salad and 4 gerbils...
Nene watched Priss as her eyes glazed over and a
large grin spread across her face. Seizing her chance,
she dashed over to the computer and shut off the audio
output. The pink Knight Saber then turned back to
Priss.
The grin was gone and replaced with a look of
confusion. With the object of her rage removed, Priss
recovered some of her composure. She slowly put the
chair back in its original spot then sat down.
The Pink knight Saber slowly crept towards her
friend.
"P-Priss?" she stammered. "A-Are you okay?"
Priss didn't respond at all to her questions. She
just lounged in the chair, motionless. Nene moved closer
to her. Her young face creased with worry.
"Priss? Please talk to me! " she said, a note
of panic in her voice. She was about to shake her
friend when Priss barked out;
"ASPIRIN! NOW! " she growled.
"EEK!" Nene shouted as she stumbled back in
surprise. She then recovered and scrambled towards the
medication.
Priss remained motionless until Nene came back with
the medicine and a glass of water. The blue Knight Saber
quickly took the pills, swallowed them, then washed it
down with the water. While she was doing this, Nene
returned to her computer, as a slightly guilty look
flashed across her face. After setting the empty glass
on the table next to her, Priss turned her attention
back to her friend.
"When is Sylia due back?" she asked.
"I really don't know, " Nene said. "The
meeting should've ended over a half hour ago but she
hasn't even called."
"I wonder if that's a good or bad sign," Priss
pondered out loud.
"Beats me," her friend responded then she
asked. "How did you get hurt anyway? "
The blue Knight Saber looked at Nene , trying to see if
she was setting her up for a joke. Only concern showed in her
friend's face.
"I was doing the last stunt for the day and it
got screwed up," Priss said as the medication (and the
anti-psychotic drugs) started to take effect.
"Which fic?" Nene asked.
"Farber's new one," Priss replied, some of the
pain and tension in her body finally going dormant. "Man, he
put me through the ringer."
Nene thought for a few seconds then said:
"Well it could be worse. "
"Really? " Priss said sarcastically. "How?"
"He could've put you through the shredder, "she
replied.
The retrotrash singer glared at her for a moment then
sighed. "I should of seen that coming. "
"Hmm..., " Nene absently said ignoring
Priss's remark, "I'll have to call him tonight before I
get prepared for tomorrow's fic shoot."
Priss rolled her eyes at last part of Nene's remark. They
all were going to work on Bubblegum Zone 10 tomorrow but
Nene's part in the shoot was the least demanding.
"Nene, you're tied up and unconscious for all the
scenes we're going to do," she said. "It's not like you need
to be an acadamy award-winning actress to pull it off!"
"Oh really?" the red headed Knight Saber
replied, her voice practically dripping with sarcasm. "Then
why did you tell us you were preparing for a role when we
caught you playing with those ......"
"Where's Mackie? " Priss interrupted. A large
sweatdrop had formed on her forehead as she desperately tried
to change the subject. "I thought he'd be hanging around here."
Nene smirked and savored her verbal victory before she
answered.
"He's at his P.A. meeting, " she said.
"P.A?"
"Perverts Anonymous," Nene stated.
Priss's eyes bulged.
"How in the hell did you get him to go
there? "she asked, the shock wearing off.
"Sylia and I told him that if he didn't," Nene
said, an evil grin spreading across her face. " we would
inform the Project A-KO crew just who was the last member
involved in that panty raid a few weeks back."
Priss remembered some of the events of that day. The
old hentai known as Happosai, another hentai called Ataru,
and an unknown third member had crashed a shoot for that
series. Unfortunately for them, they weren't quite fast
enough in their getaway. The unknown member had escaped
but the other two were not so lucky. The last she heard,
Happosai was still in traction and Ataru had been placed
in the custody of his fiancee, Lum. She didn't know who
had gotten off with the easier punishment..She really
didn't care either...
They sat quietly for a few moments before the silence
was broken.
"So, how are you going to get home?" Priss
asked.
"Linna's giving me a ride, " Nene replied.
Almost as if on cue, the Knight Saber in question
walked into the room.
"Hey Priss," Linna cheerfully said, getting
only a grumble for a reply. She then turned to Nene.
"You ready to go?" she asked.
"In a minute," Nene replied. "I want to
finish reading this article on the new series."
"So you've pretty much given up hope on them
changing their minds too, huh?" Linna sighed.
"I have not!" Nene said with a slight bit of
desperation in her voice and tears in her eyes. "I'm sure
that Sylia's presentation will influence them to making some
revisions. It has to work!... I can't be a blonde!
I CAN'T!...." then she broke down and cried.
"WWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"
Both Priss and Linna covered their ears at Nene's
wailing.
"Oh..good going Linna, " Priss shouted. "Now
you got her crying!"
"That girl has been hanging around Sailor Moon
WAY too much!" Linna replied.
Nene finally calmed down after Linna promised to get
her ten ice cream sundaes, three whole carrot cakes a
couple of Cd-Roms and five stuffed Ryo-Oh-Ki dolls (with
CABBIT ACTION!tm).
"Well, " Linna sighed, mentally figuring up just
how far in debt she would be after getting the items to
placate her friend. " At least she hasn't lost all hope."
"You know little miss cyber-punk," Priss said
with a slight smirk on her face. "She never gives up."
Nene ignored the barb as she became engrossed in her
reading. Then she saw a line about Linna and Priss. As she
read it, Nene couldn't believe they would do it. At least
she hoped they wouldn't do it.
"Oh my....." A wide-eyed Nene gasped.
"What is it, Nene?" Linna asked as she walked
over to where the red-haired Knight Saber was sitting.
"Ah....nothing. Nothing at all.." she squeaked
out.
"Nene.." Linna replied in her best command
voice. "Let me see."
With a great reluctance, Nene moved aside to let Linna
get a better view of the screen. By then Priss, her curiosity
overcoming her pain, had also come over to see what was going
on. Both of them began reading the text just as Nene pointed
the line out.
The line read;
' The producers of the series are quoted as saying
.....upon meeting Linna for the first time, Priss says that
she found her.... "interesting."'
" Interesting?" Priss mumbled. "That sounds
like.."
" I AM NOT A LESBIAN!!!" Linna screamed, causing
both Nene and Priss to wince. She had already figured out
exactly what it implied. There was only one thing that truly
angered Linna; questioning her sexuality. The other Knight
Sabers had learned that lesson the hard way.
"How many guys do I have to go out with to prove
that!! "
Nene had to hold back from making a remark. She knew
all Linna would have to do to prove her claim was show them
her 'little black book'. Though how a book the size of the
the New York telephone directory could possibly be called
little was beyond her.
The pink Knight Saber still remembered when she had
found it and decided to take a quick look inside. She had a
hard time believing how many names were written in there. It
was made worse when she saw the performance evaluations
written down beside them. Stuff like 'slow starter' and
'Sweeto!' didn't surprise her but when she read the entry
under 'Tarou Pantyhose' about how he definitely knew how to
use his tentacles...
Nene decided that she really didn't want to know about
Linna's love life after all..
"Now I'm sure it's just a rumor," Nene quickly
told Linna, desperately hoping to stave off the tirade that
she knew was coming.
"I can't believe this!" Linna exclaimed, ignoring
the red haired Knight Saber. "You agree to act in a few
lesbian lemons, make it crystal clear that they use boomer
doubles for the sex scenes, and they still brand you for
life!"
She then turned to Priss. "Can you believe this
crap!" she said.
Priss gave Linna a thoughtful expression, then
said, "Well, you do look good in those leotards..."
Almost as fast as lightning, Linna reached behind her
back and produced a large mallet.
"PRISS NO HENTAI!!!" she shouted and swung the
weapon, hitting Priss right on top of her head.
Nene turned and stared at the now unconscious Priss. She
then looked at Linna.
"That's a neat trick," she said.
"Ranma taught it to me while we were
dating," Linna replied as she put the mallet back into
hammerspace. "For some strange reason, he liked me to use
it on him... a lot."
"What happened between you two, anyway? Nene
asked.
"He went back to his fiancees," Linna stated
plainly.
"Oh... okay," Nene replied as she shut down her
computer terminal. She had just grabbed her purse when the
last word of the sentence registered.
"Fiancees?!" she yelped. "Y-you mean they're all
really..?"
"Yea, " Linna said. "How do you think he got all
that stamina?"
Linna didn't notice the severe case of blushing Nene had
just developed.
"But that's okay," she continued. "I was about
to dump him anyway."
"Umm...shouldn't we check on Priss?" Nene asked,
her face returning to normal and now casting a glance at the
unconscious Knight Saber.
"With her thick skull, she'll be fine," Linna
replied, also looking at the still unconscious Knight
Saber. "As I was saying, I'd found a new guy by then."
"Who was he?" Nene asked as they both walked
towards the door.
"He called himself Jadeite," Linna responded as
she opened the door and both of them left the room, closing
the door behind them. "Now, he liked me to dress up in a
Sailor Senshi suit and..."
A few moments later a dazed Priss slowly stood up. Swaying
slightly, she steadied herself but felt the blackness of
unconsciousness returning. Just before finally passing out,
Priss mumbled;
"Please Mistress Sylia.......... may I have some
more?"
A few hours later.....
Priss shifted slightly as she rested on the couch. Mackie
had come in just as she was waking up. He helped her to the
couch, got her some aspirin, a drink, and an icepack. What
surprised Priss the most was that all during that time, he
didn't leer at her or make the slightest hentai comment.
*Maybe he is changing,* she thought then Priss let her
thoughts drift to the incident that put her in this
situation.
"Why do these things always happen to me?" Priss
muttered as she adjusted the icepack resting on the top of
her head.
"I was just making an observation," she
murmured. " It wasn't like I was going to go down on her
in front of Nene ......"
Her complaining was interrupted by the unlocking of the
apartment door.
Priss was surprised to see the woman that entered the
room. The woman was quite attractive by most standards. She
wore a gray business suit that seemed to fit her
perfectly. There were two things that stood out the most
about her. One was her long and beautiful silver hair. The
other was the scowl on her face.
It took Priss a few seconds to recognize her.
"So," she said after propping herself
up. "I take it they said no?"
Sylia Stingray practically tore the silver wig off her
head and threw it into a chair.
"I.... don't......want....to....talk...about...
it," she snapped through clenched teeth.
Priss started to come up with a 'I told you so' type of
line then she looked at the Knight Saber's leader.......
She decided that it might be healthier for her to drop
the subject entirely.
"Mind if I crash here tonight? she asked. "I
don't think I can make it home."
"Sure, but I will wait until morning for you
to tell me what happened," she said. "Right now all I want to
do is take a bath, go to bed, and forget this day ever
happened."
"Goodnight Sylia," Priss said as she got
comfortable.
"Goodnight," Sylia replied, walking towards
the hallway.
Priss let herself relax as she started to drift off to
sleep. She heard the water run in Sylia's bathroom. Priss
was almost asleep when she was jarred awake by something the
blue Knight Saber thought she would never hear in her
lifetime.
Sylia completely losing her temper.
"MACKIE?!? WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING
HIDING IN MY BATHROOM CLOSET!!!"
Priss strained to hear his response but could only make
out mumbling then she heard Sylia scream:
"PART OF YOUR PERVERT ANONYMOUS CLASS?!?"
* Yea right..* Priss sarcastically thought.* Even Nene
wouldn't believe that one! *
"BULL!!! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR HENTAI
CRAP!!"
Priss heard a loud crash followed by another voice.
"YEOUCH!!!!!" Mackie yelled. "I'M SORRY!!!"
"YOU'RE GONNA BE WHEN I GET THROUGH WITH
YOU, YOU LECHER!" she responded.
WHAM!
"NOT THE FACE! NOT THE... OOOF!!!" Mackie
screamed.
Sylia raving and sounds of devastation continued for a
few minutes, only interrupted by Mackie's occasional scream
of pain or loud pleading for mercy. Abruptly, Priss saw
Sylia's bedroom door fly open and a barely recognizable
object come sailing through the hallway, into the living
room, hitting the far wall and landing in a heap on the
floor . The door then slammed shut. Priss watched the
now identifiable form known as Mackie slowly crawl off
towards his room.
Priss watched Sylia's brother for a few moments as he
moved. Realizing that he wouldn't make it out of the room
any time soon, she laid back down and again attempted to go
to sleep. Just before he left the room though, Priss heard
Mackie mutter:
" She.... took that .....rather well."
The blue Knight Saber laid on the couch, listening to
Mackie as he made his way to his bedroom. *The boy will
never learn,* she thought as her headache started to
return. A few minutes later she heard Mackie's bedroom door
shut. Surprisingly though, Priss then heard another door
open up and someone quietly walking out.
"What is this place? " Priss irritably
muttered. "The Tokyo Freeway! "
"Oh, Priss-chan? " Sylia's voice seductively
called out.
"Look, " Priss started to say as she sat up
and turned to face the Knight Sabers' leader.
"I'm tired and I just need to..." she then
caught a glimpse of Sylia. ".... get some."
The KS leader was dressed in a blue see-through
negligee. If fit her like a glove, hugging every corner of her
well toned body. It also left practically nothing to the
imagination.
Priss forgot about her headache. She also forgot how to
form most conscious thought. Her mouth just hung open as
she gazed at Sylia.
"Can you help me? " Sylia crooned, choosing not
show that she noticed the effect her choice of wardrobe was
having on Priss. "I have this cramp that I need to get
worked out. "
She then said in a husky voice.
"I'll be waiting for you."
Priss beat Sylia to her bedroom door.
As they went into her bedroom and closed the door, a
relative peace descended upon the Stingray home. Five minutes
later, the peace was disturded by Sylia walking out of
her bedroom. The Knight Saber leader ignored the sounds of
rattling chains and loud 'MMMPPPPHHHH's ' that came from her
room. As Sylia walked towards the kitchen, she only had one
thought on her mind.
*Now where did I put those squids.*
END
Afterwords: This fic started out with a conversation on
the ffirc between myself and Zoogz on how the KS would react
to the new series. somehow out of that tiny idea came the
twisted fic you see here. I hoped you all enjoyed this little
slice of dementia I whipped up. C&C and MST are always welcome,
flames are not!
Thank you...
David (Fido) Lindquist
fido@rma.edu
" Life's a journey not a destination."-Aerosmith