i got several requests for this, so here 'tis. oh, and in keeping
with the seasonal posts (Devil 1/2 for Halloween, Angel 1/2 for
Christmas, etc. i do have little pieces for Valentine's and Saint
Patty's.) just giving fair warning ;)




-- Listar MIME Decryption --------------
-- Name   : wish2.txt

more strangeness by metroanime@mindspring.com
http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com/
disclaimer #1: i don't own these characters.
disclaimer #2: this is just written for amusement, it is
   NOT intended to be taken as great literature.
-----------------------------------------------------
BOTTLE OF DJINN 2:  Ranma gets Shampooed
-----------------------------------------------------
	Toltiir smirked at Loki. "See, Nabiki learned.
She was prepared to use her second wish to negate or
modify the first wish."

	"Luck," argued Loki. "She'll screw herself
up with wish number two or three. They always do."

	"Well," Toltiir waved a paw, "she's gonna
get screwed. By Ryouga's THIRD wish if nothing else. 
Then again, it's not HER that I'm hoping will put 
Haurvatat in a better mood."
----------------------------------------
	Kasumi glanced up to watch Ranma attacking
the practice target as if it had personally offended him.
More, that it had offered him a mortal offense.

	The clock ticked over another minute. Ryouga's
last wish went into effect.

	Kasumi's smile changed slightly as she watched
Ranma's lithe musculature move through a set of attacks.
Precise focussed thrusts that set off his muscle definitions
so well. The slight sheen of perspiration further defining
the well toned body before her as...

	"Oh my!" Kasumi tore her gaze away from the 
window and back to the stove. This wasn't proper. Wasn't
proper at all. She felt all flushed and...warm.

	A shift in the noise level brought her attention
back to Ranma. He was now doing kicks, and the tight 
definition of his butt was clearly visible to Kasumi.

	She started fanning herself. The kitchen seemed
to be awfully warm today.
------------------------------------
	Nabiki smiled up at the ceiling. She'd had fantasies
about Ranma before. She figured that the money being hers,
that she could indulge in a little harmless fantasy where she
had another of her needs addressed.

	Nobody ever noticed, but Nabiki had often taken
pictures of Ranma's male side as well as his female side. The
difference being that she SOLD the girl pictures.

	Nobody knew. Nobody suspected. She was the
Ice Queen, after all.

	Nabiki sat up, wondering exactly where Saotome
was. Now that she had money, perhaps she could indulge in
other things...
-------------------------------------
	"You're sure no one'll mind, Akane?"

	"When we stayed over at the Ucchan's during that
bit with the Gambling King, I noticed how small your bath was.
I'm sure everyone will be quite all right with you taking a nice
long soak in our furo..." Akane suppressed a grin. And she'd
get to scrub Ukyou-sama's back... "I just need to tell Nabiki
and Kasumi."

	Ukyou wasn't sure about this. Yes, a long soak where
she could stretch out sounded WONDERFUL. On the other 
hand, Akane was acting awfully weird. In favor, she could use
said long soak, particularly before the announcement Akane 
would make that she was giving up Ranma to support Ukyou
as Ranma's True Fiancee.

	Ukyou followed Akane to Nabiki's room, but it
turned out to be empty.

	"Ooooh, this is nice," Akane picked up a bottle.
"Looks like oneechan has gotten some more of those 
scented imported oils. Or is this bubble bath?"

	Ukyou made a face at the thought of a bubble bath
in a furo. "Akane, are you sure about giving up Ranma..."

	"Of course, Ukyou-chan." Akane nodded emphatically.
"You know you're the best among all his fiancees. If Ranma is what
you really want...then you should get him."

	Ukyou wiped a tear away. After all this time, SOMEBODY
saw that she was the best choice. And it was one of her rivals! Life
was good. "If only Ranma could see that."

	"You're too good for him, that's my thought." Akane
frowned, she couldn't find the label. "You're nice, intelligent, 
sexy, cute, a great cook, a wonderful person, caring, a great 
fighter, polite, considerate... I only wish Ranma were like that."

	"GRANTED!" Crackle. Thoom.

	Ukyou blinked. "Akane? The bottle talked?"

	Akane had frozen, now she dropped the laughing 
bottle and backed away from it. "Uh oh. You suppose Nabiki stole it?
I bet it's from the Nekohanten."

	"If it's magic, it's trouble," Ukyou tried not to think
about all the praise that had been heaped on her by Akane. If
only Ranma would say such things.
-------------------------
	Ranma missed the next kick as Something Happened.
Reeling on the ground, he waited for the odd sensation to pass.

	"Ranma, are you okay," Kasumi came running from the
house with rather more speed than he recalled ever seeing from her
before.

	"Uhm, yes, Kasumi. Thank you for your concern." Ranma
shook his head. He still felt kinda...funny. As if something were off.
"I seem to be experiencing a slight bit of dizziness, perhaps I'm getting
an inner ear infection or something. I'm sure it's nothing."

	"Oh poor baby," Kasumi murmurred, checking him for
a fever. He needed someone to soothe his fevered brow. Maybe
other parts were fevered as well.

	"Uhm, Kasumi? Do YOU feel okay?" Ranma wondered
why Kasumi was clutching him like that. Her hands felt considerably
warmer than his head in any case.

	The sound of a shogi tile being dropped reminded both
of them of their audience. Both Soun and a certain panda were staring
open-mouthed at the scene of Kasumi clutching Ranma to her bosom
and murmurring words of sympathy.

	"Oh, everybody's here." Akane came down the stairs with
Ukyou. "No time like the present then."

	Everyone's eyes went to Nabiki who was lying on the floor
staring at Ranma. She had just growled at Ranma. She wiggled her 
eyebrows and was eating a carrot in a very suggestive manner.

	Soun's hair started sticking up in a very odd looking
hairstyle. The panda was waving around a sign that read [Huh?!]

	"Everyone," said Akane with a big sigh. "I've decided I'm
no longer engaged to Ranma. I'm now completely supporting Ukyou's
engagement as the most valid one!"

	Soun was too shocked even to weep. The panda fainted.
Both realized that Akane was not saying this in anger, as was usual for
her "not engaged anymore" speech. She was saying this with a slightly
regretful-looking smile.

	"No, Akane. A Tendo _must_ marry Ranma!" Kasumi
shook her head and clutched Ranma a little tighter. "I'll do it! It's 
about time that someone got all this over with!"

	Soun made a noise in his throat that might have been
an interrogative.

	"Hmmm," Nabiki smiled speculatively at Ranma. "I
think Ranma needs a bachelor party. I'll make the arrangements!"
She thought it ought to be a small affair, two people ought to be
right. She'd bring the ...entertainment.

	"Eeep," managed Soun Tendo. Maybe he ought to
faint now. That sounded so nice...

	"What?!" Ranma's voice was muffled from his current
position. He was sure Kasumi didn't intend to clutch him like this.
All a mistake, yeah, that was it. Or this was a nightmare and Akane
would come kick him awake at any moment.

	Nabiki smirked and uncoiled from her position. She
knew what her second wish would be now. Oh boy, this was
going to be FUN!
---------------------------------
	commercial break:
	Kasumi is walking from the front door of her
house to her own room. She is walking calmly, unhurriedly, and
with complete obliviousness to the events around her.
Ranma sparring with Genma, Ukyou is matching her spatula
against a load of gymnastic equipment from Kodachi, 
Ryouga and Kuno are fighting umbrella vs bokken, various
unnamed martial artists are duking it out in the background,
Akane is chasing Happosai with a large mallet (and knocking
over various props in the background), Nabiki is smirking and
has her camera, a typical Nerima mob melee sequence...

	Kasumi gently closes the door, unlocks a drawer,
sits back and smiles lazily as she brings something up to her
mouth.

	Camera focuses on a set of bars of Swartenbroeckx(r)
Belgian chocolates.

Voiceover: "Swartenbroeckx, for when the ordinary is not an option.
Available at Trader Joe's and other fine stores."
            we now return to our regularly scheduled fanfic already in
progress.
-------------------------------------------------
	"SHAMPOOOO!"

	<CRUNCH, SMASH, BREAK!>

	"Free! Airen, I am coming for you!" Shampoo leapt from 
cafe to roof to roof.

	Cologne shrugged. She had wanted Shampoo to keep 
some dignity but it looked like whatever the girl had ingested was
just too strong. It had to have been some sort of powerful love potion.
Kami only knew where Shampoo had gotten this one.

	Mousse gurgled from his position in the floor. 

	"You know, Mousse, I think maybe those chains weren't
strong enough."

	Mousse gurgled again, sounding agreeable.

	"Maybe you shouldn't have talked to her about her
symptoms of arousal."

	Another gurgle. Mousse began the task of trying to
pry himself out of the floor.

	"You certainly shouldn't have touched."

	That was definitely a sound of agreement. One of 
Mousse's arms popped free of the flooring.

	Cologne sighed. "I just hope that whatever got into
Shampoo wasn't Bridal Spice."

	"Urk?"

	"If it is, she'll just continue to run on a hotter flame
until she indulges."

	"Urk!"

	"Well, the way she was acting, I practically expect
her to consummate their relationship regardless of where son-in-law
is when they meet."

	"UNG!" Mousse flapped around a bit more until it was
absolutely obvious that he was stuck. "Urk?"

	"No, Mousse, I don't think that you should go smite
Ranma." Cologne shrugged. "At least this might convince her to
leave my spice cabinet alone."
-----------------------------------------
	"Yes, Nabiki. What's up?" Ranma blinked again. 
He still felt rather odd.

	Nabiki played with an odd looking bottle in her hands
and looked up at him through half-lidded eyes. "Not nearly as much
as I hope to have up in _very_ short order," she purred.

	"Yeah, whatever. This isn't about more pictures of
my cursed form to sell to Kuno, is it?"

	"Oh no, Ranma-kun." Nabiki pouted and raked over 
his form with her eyes. The pout changed to a predatory grin.
"We have other points to go over."

	"AIREN!" Something shattered Nabiki's window,
knocking Nabiki aside as it passed her.

	Nabiki looked up, slightly dazed, at Ranma being
glomped by Shampoo. Actually, this was less a glomp than
a...

	Nabiki's eyes narrowed as Ranma's shirt was 
thrown aside and Shampoo started kissing along Ranma's
neck and shoulder. "I don't think so, Shampoo. OK, bottle,
my second wish is that Shampoo would fall asleep and
that Ranma would make mad passionate love..."

	Kasumi entered in a hurry, bearing a tray with 
a few hot cups of tea. Upon tangling with Ranma and
Shampoo, Kasumi started to fall.

	"...to..." Nabiki's eyes watched the arc of hot
liquid coming towards her and she barely moved out of
the way. "KASUMI! Be a little more careful. Uh oh."

	"GRANTED!" Crackle. Thoom.

	"Uhm, does anyone want to explain this?" Ranma
had noted that Shampoo had gone all stiff and Nabiki 
looked like she had just lost money.

	"Ryouga? What are you doing in my room?"
Akane's voice came down the hall.

	"It didn't work?" Nabiki said hopefully.

	"The second wish is delayed by five minutes.
The third wish is delayed by an hour. Only the first wish
is instant." A voice came from the bottle in Nabiki's hand.

	"So the second wish..." Nabiki was disappointed.
Well, she had enough time to set up a camcorder in Kasumi's
room, at least.

	"In five minutes, Shampoo will fall asleep. Usual
Sleeping Beauty thing, she has to be kissed by her true love
for her to awaken, that sort of thing. Ranma will be busy though,
cause he'll be making mad passionate love to your older sister."

	"Oh my!" Kasumi tried not to grin. She was failing
miserably. "That wouldn't be proper behavior. Not proper at all."

	"Uhm, excuse me, Shampoo, I feel a sudden need to
go on an extended training mission. Far far away." Ranma 
struggled within the grip of the Amazon Glomp. "I think I need
to start immediately..."

	"I get one more wish, that will take place one hour after
I make it, right?" Nabiki started thinking fast.

	"Excuse me, Nabiki, may I?" Kasumi smiled and held her
hand out. "Since the first wish is instant, let me fix the problem."

	Nabiki looked at her sister. Yeah, it would have to be an
instant fix. Now, how should she word it? "Okay, now to deal with
the two effects of my ill-worded wish..."

	Kasumi looked at the bottle and opted for something
simple. Unfortunately, raging hormones make intelligent decisions
difficult. This was why the problem she wanted to fix was not the
same problem Nabiki thought it was. "I wish that Ranma and I were 
married right now."

	"GRANTED!" Crackle. Thoom.
-------------------------
	Genma moved a piece on the shogi board. "Sounds like a
big storm coming, Tendo."

	"Oh, maybe..." Soun knew better than to look away from
the board.
-------------------------
	"What?!" Nabiki's hair toinged out. Kasumi was wearing
a wedding gown?

	"What?!" Shampoo slid to the ground, staring at a
rival she had never expected. Groom looked handsome in his
tuxedo...

	"I now pronounce you man and wife," said the
priest. "Now where's the sake?"

	Everyone's eyes watched the priest amble off.	

	Ranma considered fainting. He decided that it
couldn't make things much worse, and slumped to the floor.

	Kasumi sighed and started dragging Ranma off
to her room. She figured she had about three minutes left.

	Shampoo reached out to snag the bottle up.
"Shampoo wish that Ranma love and marry Shampoo!"

	"GRANTED!" Crackle. Thoom.

	"I now pronounce you man and wives." The
priest sighed. "NOW can I go get the sake?" 

	Kasumi frowned. Well, Shampoo would fall
asleep in a little over two minutes now, so that would
take care of her. Besides, it was about time that she got
something for all the responsibilities she had shouldered.
Something that filled this burning need would be good.

	"Maybe if I wish that...no..." Nabiki started
to work at the wording of this. It had to be clever. Lifting
the bottle, she left the two girls to argue over the fainted
(or showing remarkable sense for once and faking it) Ranma.

	"RYOUGA! What are you doing wandering into
my room like that!" Akane's voice came from down the hall.

	"Help me, Ryouga!" Ukyou's voice came from the
same location. "No, Akane, please, can't we just be friends?"

	Nabiki nodded. No peace and quiet from THAT
direction, and she had to be really careful about how she
phrased this. "You DO know that multiple marriages are 
illegal in Japan."

	"No problem." The bottle answered back giving
a throaty chuckle. "Lawyers make laws, right? They always
put loopholes in for themselves, right? If anybody looks now,
they'll see that there's a special clause if one of the wives is
actually a Chinese Amazon. Heck, just in case, I stuck in an
additional loophole regarding Jusenkyo victims and your own
heritage..."

	"Oh dear." Nabiki thought about this. "Isn't that one
of those effects with scope past the local that you said you 
couldn't do?" The FURO! She could go in there and not be
disturbed.

	"Nah, the scope is still quite limited. It's specific to
the Tokyo area, and only concerns the one tribe of Amazons."
The bottle fell silent for a moment. "Y'know, you COULD simply
wish that none of this had ever happened."

	"Do I look like a fool?" Nabiki shivered. Taking advice
FROM the djinni was a recipe for disaster in more than one old 
story.

	"AAAAAAaaaaaaaaa!" Ukyou ran past Nabiki, making
a break for the front door.
---------------------------------------
clip to bottle of djinn 3