Added more stuff again.  I realize that Akane's realization came very
quickly, but the point I was trying to make was that this has been

going

on for a very long time, and it's only _now_ (i.e., at the beginning of
this 'fic) that Akane's clued in to it.  This third draft should

reflect

that, I hope.

err... well...  While this explanation up front is very helpful if one
has already read this, I'm assuming you would remove this from the final
draft.  And as someone who would be reading this as a completed draft
(completely ignorant of what is going on at first), the realization is
still a very, very large jump.

About halfway down the page, Akane stopped.

'Wait a minute...didn't something like this happen a
few days ago?' She flipped back to the previous entry.

.. a few hours ago?  (sorry, had to throw that one in.  A sad attempt at
humor)

'Another fight with Ranma...' she turned the page.
'And again, yet another fight!'

I guess here, I'd start thinking she'd realize "Oh my!  I've been taking
Ranma's insults too personally and it's time for me to grow up and just
ignore them!"  This coming from the later heightened maturity that she
acquires...

'It's almost like a pattern...Ranma would insult me,
I would hit him, and things would be quiet for a few
days...' she looked at the dates of the entries.  'And
recently, this has been happening more often...'

And then Akane remembered something else.

"The iodine's being used up awfully fast," Kasumi
had noted earlier.

"Ranma's probably using it," Nabiki had replied.

"But no one would use that much iodine in such a
short time! It stings something horrible!"

'Oh, God...' Akane rushed downstairs.

I don't s'pose I could talk you into elaborating more into her (Akane's)
thoughts at this point, could I?  Maybe a  'That jerk!  He probably
ENJOYS the....  Oh, God....'   Y'know, kind of a take off of the
stereotypical "That pervert" thread.  Of course, that little snippet
doesn't even begin to cover it.  Maybe toss in a flashback of a little
scene where Akane noticed something similar happening around the dojo.

He couldn't remember the first time he discovered
the rush that came from the pain.  After that, though, he
always made sure that he could find some way to make
himself hurt.

Except he had to do it in such a way that no one would pay much
attention to his new addiction  That last encounter with Akane...
(hint, hint)

Drip.

Spilled a little too much that time.  Steady.

I still like this, if you read into this, you could probably draw out a
lot of emotions that is going through Ranma's mind.  Pain, excitement,
nervousness, bliss...  Just a random thought.

What was even more frightening, though, was the
look on his face.  It was a wild, ecstatic expression, like a
drug addict who had just taken a hit.

And here my previous musing on reading in get revealed.

Ranma's entire body is covered with horrible scars.
I'm quite certain, though, that the ones on his soul are
much, much worse.  He tells me that he still has very
vivid, realistic nightmares about bleeding to death.  I
have to stay with him until he falls asleep and leave a
nightlight on in case he wakes up.

Question:  Is this a common thing with those suffering this disorder?
Nightmares such as your example?

Anyhoo.  Just as an aside, I kind of like re-reading drafts.  Each time
I read it, I find something that I missed, or a new insight into the
author and their subject.  Especially this one, a kind of commentary on
our society and culture as well as an attempt to bring a very serious
disorder to light.  (I'm still grappling with using "disorder" in this
instance)

And besides my afore mentioned objections (her realization is still way
too fast, or her thoughts should be much better documented there), I
like it.  But, it's your work.  The final judgement on its completion is
yours.

-Tom