Ronny Hedin wrote:

    Wai! Wai! Public C&C, it's been so long... <sniffle>. I refuse to
gripe though, smile cheerfully while spamfics garner most of the list
attention and refuse to fall back on cheap <read my...> NOOOOO~... ahem,
subliminal gimics.

    ^_^

No detail comments, Keener, but I would feel a bit of guilt if I
did not at least say...

..

..

ouch. Heavy.

    Heh, first public bit of C&C, some of the first comments on the fic et
all... and I get a talking bathroom scale. Sigh, no lasagna for my fic
tonight I suppose.

There were no spelling/grammar/whatever-mistakes bad enough for
me to notice while still in normal, tired reading mode, though
I think the prose didn't quite have your usual, convoluted style.

    Well, I tried to stray abit from the full fledge loop D fruit loops of
other chapter or of more comedic fair. Mostly because this was a fight
scene and needed more visceral impact then it did Funhouse mirror style
reflection. Some of the earlier bits are almost dream like, stumbling
about in metaphor, but now it's all being put to the test. Forged in rage,
cooled in death and tempered by reality. Makes for a better impact for
this bit, I thought.

I think maybe you're going into a bit *too* much detail with the
lieutenant.

    You'll have to explain why. As a character, his place doesn't outwiegh
the others in importance or power, his life has only been detailed as it
related to the story, he won't be simply dropped off later on as he will
actually play a role in the finale. Scenes have all been either plot
moving or character building to what's to come, and you can easily tell
he's not going to end up with top billing. I really don't see this at all,
you'll have to show me before I can defend his role.

..

Did I say, "Heavy"?

    ^_^, yes, you did.

    Sometimes you hit, sometimes you miss... I'm guessing this anvil was
just shy of 16 tons. Oh well, another fic older and deeper in spam... sigh