Well, I haven't been able to finish it. Not this episode. But I just
can't move any further, and so decided to post it so I can try and get some
help. The unfinished section(s) are in REAL bad shape, because I've been
forcing a lot of the stuff I've been doing, so any comments would be VERY
welcome. Maybe posting this'll help me move on to other things, too...
Well, anyway, here goes...
Patlabor: Personal Files
An Episodic Patlabor Fanfic by David A. Tatum
Disclaimer: Insert legal junk here...
Actually, I have two possible titles- why don't you readers tell me which
one you prefer.
Episode 07: The First Snag
Episode 07: A New Sheriff in Nerima
Authors Note: This episode was actually one of the first two ideas I had
while I was sitting around in my classes and coming up with the material
that eventually became this fanfic. I modified it (a lot) so that it would
fit into the timeline appropriately and to be compatible with previous
episodes, but the general idea is here... It includes crossover elements
with Ranma and perhaps a cameo appearance from another series or two...
January 6, 2000
Kanuka approached the office of the captain of Nerima's police department.
She sighed- she really didn't want to be part of the traffic police, but
she had to hold SOME job down for the next few months until that position
in the Academy opened. So there she was, showing up at Nerima's police
headquarters at 0600 hours.
She knocked on the door. "Come in," the voice on the other side said.
Kanuka stepped through the door and saluted. "Lt. Kanuka Clancy, New York
Police, reporting for duty!"
"Eh, sit down, sit down," the captain drawled. "No need to stand on
ceremony here." Kanuka, frowning, chose the cleanest-looking of the dusty
chairs across from his desk and sat in it. "Captain Gotoh explained some
of your situation to me. Because of him, I opened a position I've avoided
opening for you."
Kanuka blinked at that. "Why was it not available to begin with?"
"Well," the captain began slowly. "We really don't need the full staff of
officers we have been alloted- what crimes are committed are not prosecuted
or are stopped by the local civilians. Occasionally, a serious criminal
will show up tied with chains on our front porch, but we rarely make any
arrests which are prosecuted ourselves."
"I think I'm missing something here," Kanuka replied, confused. "Why
aren't certain crimes prosecuted? Who is delivering these 'serious
criminals' to our doorstep? And why did you open up a position for me if
you didn't need me?"
The captain laughed. "It was a favor to Gotoh. He and I go way back- he
and I went through the academy together, and we still see each other
socially from time to time. My son was dating his niece a while back, but
it didn't work out. Anyway, he asked if I could provide you with a
temporary space... and occasionally loan you to the labor units when they
need an extra hand."
"And what about the rest of what I asked?"
"Well... there are several people who we COULD arrest for 'endangering the
public' with all the property damage they commit, or for 'assault with a
deadly weapon' in some cases. We could never hold them, however, unless
they LET us hold them."
Kanuka blinked. "I still don't understand. WHY can't we hold them?"
"Heh... well, either they hold too much political clout, or they'd be
broken out of jail before we could blink." Reaching under his desk with
both hands, he pulled out a small box. "In here, I have all the reports
you might want to read about the people involved- read them, and you'll
understand. Just skim it- you'd have to spend DAYS trying to get through
it all, and I'm only giving you two hours to familiarize yourself with the
situation."
Kanuka nodded. "And then what will my assignment be, sir?"
The captain shrugged. "Patrol duty. Nothing too big on your first day."
For some reason, Kanuka couldn't shake the feeling that he was laughing at
her when he said that.
* * * * *
Kanuka slapped the file down onto her desk, closed her eyes, and rubbed her
temples in a desperate attempt to fight down the headache she knew was
coming.
The material she had been given made absolutely no sense. She'd seen some
pretty weird things before- that sea monster that looked just like Hiromi,
that beast in evil mountain, and the albino alligator, among other things,
but some of the things she was reading about were just TOO weird. How
could anyone, even a skilled martial artist, blow up boulders and walls
with a single finger? HOW many men were committing crimes of passion in
order to win the heart of this... Akane Tendou? HOW many WOMEN were doing
the same to win this Ranma Saotome? And what were these reports that this
Ranma person could change his sex at will? And that was just from Furinken
High School- there were just as many problems over at Tomobiki High, if not
more! Aliens? Demons? None of it made any sense for someone as
analytical as her.
Kanuka sighed and glanced at her watch. She still had to get through the
files on the Mendou household, the Kunou household, the 'Chinese Amazons'
(which she hadn't even heard of before- she always thought the Amazons came
from South America), Happosai, Genma Saotome, and Ukyou Kuonji, and she
only had twenty minutes left. She picked up the thinnest one first- the
one on Ms. Kuonji, and started reading. Kanuka REALLY hoped she wouldn't
have to deal with too much that day.
* * * * *
Kanuka sighed. Of COURSE she would be given the Furinken High patrol on
her first day. She hadn't been able to get through all of the material on
the various students of the school, and hoped that failure would not come
back to haunt her.
*KATHUNK* "What the-" Kanuka exclaimed, as something large appeared to
fall onto her car. The police mini rocked again as the person who had
jumped onto its roof bounced in front of her, spinning around. The boy,
dressed in black drawstring pants and a silk chinese-style shirt, stuck his
tongue out at something over her head.
*CRUNCH!* "Ranma! PREPARE TO DIE!" the other teenager, who had just
landed on and crushed the engine of her patrol car, cried. Kanuka gaped.
"What'd I do this time, Ryouga!?" Ranma asked, dodging a flying bandanna
that sent sparks flying when it hit the pavement.
"HOW can you insult Akane like that AGAIN?" Ryouga cried, drawing his
umbrella menacingly.
"I just said her cooking still needed work! I didn't mean anything by it!"
"That was after you gagged and spit it halfway across the room- hitting ME
in the process!"
"Why were you even THERE? I thought you said you were going away to
Akari's forever!"
"Shut up! That's none of your business!"
Kanuka, now standing outside of the police mini, coughed, attracting the
two teenagers attention. Levelling her Beretta at Ryouga, she evenly said,
"Excuse me, would you please explain to me why you ruined my car, and give
me ONE good reason why I shouldn't arrest you right now? And do it calmly,
please- I don't want to have an excuse to shoot you."
Ryouga didn't appear to be worried about the handgun, but looked down and
noticed he was standing on the wreckage of what once was a police vehicle,
and decided the woman in front of him needed an explanation. "It was all
Ranma's fault!" he accused, pointing.
"MY fault?" Ranma exclaimed. "How is it MY fault?"
"It's ALWAYS your fault!" Ryouga bellowed, forgetting about the police
woman in front of him. "I-"
"SHUT UUUUUUUP!" Kanuka growled, sending a warning shot over their heads.
Ranma and Ryouga froze, turning just their heads to face her. "In the eyes
of the law, YOU are responsible," she proclaimed, pointing her gun at
Ryouga. "Unless you can give me some RATIONAL explanation of how it is his
fault."
Ryouga's mouth opened and closed a few times. "But... but... he lead me to
your car- if it weren't for him I'd never have-"
"That doesn't matter," Kanuka explained harshly, as Ranma looked on
curiously. "From what I was able to see, you ruined police property while
attempting to assault this man."
"It was an honor duel!" Ryouga complained.
"You still should respect legal authority!" she shouted back, briefly
wondering if she was starting to sound like Ohta. "Now, are you going to
come peacefully, or not?"
Ryouga, despite being a stubborn young man with a violent temper, always
tried to do what was right and honorable- or at least he always claimed to
try to do so. Setting his jaw, and resolving to take his vengeance out on
Ranma as soon as he could, merely nodded.
* * * * *
"Aren't you supposed to be in school!?" Kanuka snapped at Ranma. She was
definitely NOT in a good mood- with her car wrecked that bad, even her
police radio wasn't working. She had to WALK Ryouga to the police station
(the phone wouldn't let her get through, and gave her the 'We are
experiencing technical problems' message that had been all that many people
could get out of the phone company since the Y2K bug struck), and along the
way some three foot tall... something... had leapt onto her chest, groped
her, and stole her underclothes without even disturbing the rest of her
clothing. To make matters worse, the pig-tailed teenager she had 'saved'
from Ryouga was following the whole way (and seemed to avoid water like the
plague), and Kanuka was wondering if he had a crush on her or something- it
wouldn't have been the first time an immature boy went after her. And
THEN, she had to endure the giggles of the equipment team as they heard
about what happened to her mini when she went to replace it.
Ranma shrugged, unfazed. "Well, actually, yes I should, but that blackout
thing messed up the school records and we've got the week off. I want to
talk to you."
"Oh, yeah? Why?"
"If you were able to arrest Ryouga and get him to the jail without his
wandering off and getting lost, you might also be able to get some other
people who've been harassing me off my back..."
* * * * *
Kanuka was absently chewing the last bite of her lunch as she waited for
Ranma to stop speaking. So far, much of what he'd said agreed with the
reports she had read, only she suspected he was embellishing in some cases
like many youths his age, to make himself more the center of things.
Still, if even half of what he said was true, the situation was even worse
than she had thought.
"So, let me get this straight," she said, trying to make sense of
everything he had told her. "You think most of the crimes commited in this
area would be ended if your romantic problems were solved, and the way to
solve your romantic problems would be to prevent the crimes commited in
this area for a short time?"
"Well, I wouldn't exactly call them 'romantic' problems," Ranma answered,
blushing slightly and putting a hand behind his head. "But yeah, that's
what I'm saying."
"Of course they are romantic problems!" Kanuka growled. "You can't decide
who you want to marry, and everyone's trying to convince you one way or
another almost desperately enough that they're almost driven to the point
of murder! I'd call that 'romantic problems.'"
Ranma blinked. "You really think it could come to murder? Well, Kodachi,
maybe, but I don't think any of the other people I know would SERIOUSLY try
and kill someone off in cold blood... well, maybe Tarou, but he's not
really part of the whole fiancee thing."
Kanuka shrugged. "Well, if even half of what you told me is true, I guess
it would be my duty to help you out. I really think you should figure out
how to solve things for yourself, though."
"That's just what I want to do- but I need some time to do it, and that's
where you come in...."
* * * * *
"So," Ranma asked as Kanuka drove him in the direction of her home. She
needed to drop some food off with her grandmother, and then they were going
to head to the Tendou dojo so that she could plan a strategy. "How many
bullets will your gun hold?"
Kanuka snorted. "A gun is a powerful tool, but it's just a tool. It
doesn't matter HOW many bullets it has. Its a matter of who's using it,
and how much skill that person has with it." Actually, she normally went
for guns with lots of ammo, but at the moment she was only wearing a police
revolver- she'd run out of bullets for her Berreta when she took that
warning shot over Ryouga's head, and couldn't get replacements of the right
caliber at precint headquarters. Still, she believed what she said was
true- and hopefully her bravado would keep him from complaining about how
few bullets she DID have on her.
Ranma shrugged. "Oh, I agree with you wholeheartedly- weapons are a
weakness, because you know where the attack is coming from, and can easily
learn to counteract it. But considering who you'll be up against, you'd
better have LOTS of firepower handy."
"Bah, if I run out of bullets, I'll deal with them hand-to-hand."
Ranma smirked. "Oh, really? Are you a martial artist, too?" Kanuka
didn't even hesitate before nodding confidently. "Hmm... when we get to
the dojo, why don't you have a sparring match with Akane? We'll see just
how equipped you are to handling these people without your gun..."
"Why Akane? Why not you?"
Ranma snorted. "You wouldn't stand a chance against me. Besides, I don't
hit girls."
Kanuka grit her teeth and made a mental note to grab a gi when she stopped
at her grandmothers. She just HAD to put this boy in his place.
* * * * *
"I don't know, Ranma... I haven't practiced in a couple of days- I'm not at
my best," Akane said when he asked her to spar with Kanuka. "Besides...
it's probably not a good idea to get into a fight with a police officer."
"It's just sparring, Akane... and you'll do fine. I'm just trying to see
how good she is- I don't think she's up to your level, considering how she
walks and stuff..."
Akane smiled at the almost-compliment of her fighting skills. That not
only convinced her to go change into her gi for the sparring match, it also
put her into a terrific mood.
"So, THAT'S the girl you want to be able to talk to without fear of
interference for a few hours?"
Ranma nodded, blushing slightly. "Yeah... I mean, she said I loved her at
the wedding that was blown up, and I might, but I had to deny it because I
wasn't sure how I really felt. She's mellowed out enough since then that I
feel safe talking to her about it, but with everything going on around
here, I haven't had a chance to be alone with her for more than a minute."
He felt like saying more than that, but didn't for fear of Nabiki taping
the conversation. She'd already revealed that she'd heard Ranma and
Akane's pre-wedding 'discussion,' and was blackmailing him on a regular
basis so that she wouldn't reveal anything to their parents, and he didn't
want to give her any MORE blackmail material.
Kanuka shrugged. "She looks cute and delicate- you sure I won't hurt her?"
Ranma took one look at the cop before bursting out laughing. "Akane?
D-d-delicate? YOU hurt HER? Bwahahahaha!"
Kanuka wasn't entirely sure how to take that.
* * * * *
"...sure she's all right?" a female voice from above ringed through
Kanuka's ears. Slowly, she tried to open her eyes, but immediately closed
them due to the brightness of the outside world.
"Well, outside of that bump on her head, she looks okay," another voice,
this one male, answered. "Look, I think she's waking up."
Kanuka moaned, blinking her eyes as she slowly sat up. "H-how did you get
so strong?"
"Are you okay?" Akane asked, concerned. Ranma and the other teenager were
standing over her, looking down in concern.
"Well, I have a headache you wouldn't believe, and my ears are ringing, but
other than that I think I'm still alive," she replied, dazed.
"I'm sorry about that," Ranma apologized to Kanuka. "I should have warned
you that Akane's got the build of a gorrilla."
Akane's applied that gorrilla-like strength in an attempt to drive him into
the ground. As she turned to stomp away, she glanced over her shoulder
almost sadly. "And to think he'd been doing so well, recently, too." With
that, she was gone back into the house.
After watching Ranma spring back up, Kanuka recovered enough from her
headache and the shock of the couple's confrontation to say something.
"Well, I can certainly see what you mean about a temper." Then she frowned
at him. "You really shouldn't be teasing her like that, though, if she's
going to get that upset about it."
Ranma shrugged. "Eh, it's more of a game than anything- I could easily
stop her from hitting me if I wanted, and it doesn't really hurt too much
most of the time. And, considering I use mostly the same insults all of
the time, she's probably used to what I say by now."
Kanuka shook her head. "Sure didn't look that way to me. Anyway, how did
I do? I guess Akane's one of the top-of-the-line fighters around here,
huh?"
"Akane's a klutzy martial artist wannabe- compared to most of the people
around here. About the only people around here who're a nuisance that she
could handle are Kunou and Gosunkugi, and Kunou's debatable."
Kanuka's eyes widened. "You're kidding- I'm considered a martial arts
expert in America, and I was overwhelmed!"
Ranma nodded. "That's why, despite not liking weapons myself, I think that
you're going to need to use your gun, and NOT rely on your hand-to-hand
skills."
"The way you say that, it sounds as if my gun barely makes me up to the
level of the people we're going up against. What do you need me for?"
Ranma smiled slightly. "Well, you have the legal authority I need to make
some of the problems I have go away for a while."
Kanuka nodded, slowly understanding. He wanted everyone arrested- but it
was too big a job for her to handle alone...
* * * * *
"Eh?" Gotoh said into the phone, tapping on his desk with on finger
absently. "Well, Unit 3 was nearly wiped out earlier today, and so we
can't call them and ask them to act as standby while we go out." He looked
over at Shinobu, who realized what his unspoken question was and nodded.
"But I think that since we're just on standby, we shouldn't have any
trouble helping you out. What do you need us to do?"
* * * * *
Ranma leapt to Kanuka's side and nodded. With that signal, she whispered,
"Go," into the radio headset.
"Attention, residents of the Kunou estate!" came Noa's voice over
Alphonse's loudspeaker. "Come out and put your hands up! You are all
under arrest!"
A short little man in a blue ninja outfit leapt to the wall facing the
labor. "What the charges are!" he cried out defiantly.
"Why do you need to know, Sasuke?" Ranma asked after perching himself on
the same wall beside the Kunou's manservant. "Weren't thinking of finding
out so you could destroy the evidence, huh?"
"Eheheh..." Sasuke laughed guiltily. "Why, no, of course not."
"Well, GOOD!" Ranma smiled, and patted the little ninja on the back hard
enough to send him flying towards Noa's labor. The police vehicle caught
him and redirected his flight towards a waiting paddy wagon, and Gotoh
slammed the door closed behind Sasuke. "One down," Ranma whispered.
"Joudo," Takeo Kumagami instructed into her microphone. "Wait for Ranma to
get off the wall, then send in some tear gas cartridges. The Kunous do not
appear to be leaving. Aim it so that the gas will chase them towards Noa's
labor."
"Yes, Ma'am," the rookie labor pilot answered. A precisely aimed lob sent
a cloud of gas sent the members of the household running.
'Hmm,' Takeo thought. 'Looks like he's almost as good a shot as Ohta- and
he's not obsessive about gunplay, either. In fact, he's a model cop...
much like Gomioka was before he became a captain. I don't think Unit 2's
ever had one of those as a pilot before...'
The Kunou siblings ran out the front door of their mansion, shutting the
gate behind them. Ranma started his part of the plan- leading Kodachi into
a trap like cheese to a mouse, moving in the direction of a second paddy
wagon. Tatewake looked up, and saw Noa's Patlabor.
The teenaged boy was a sheltered youth, and his delusions were caused
mainly by his believe that the entire period of history since the fall of
the Tokugawa shogunate was a myth. The presence of electricity, with the
exception of the lightning that generated the thunder which he used for his
nickname, was something he ignored. His finances WERE in yen and not in
ryo, and he wasn't completely blind to the occasional car or truck that
passed by the various places in Nerima he liked to pass through, but it
simply never occured to him that these might be evidence that what he
viewed as myth was, in fact, truth. However, none of the vehicles he had
ever seen had ever been a labor....
Seeing one now, of course, did not break his false impressions. However,
it DID create another one.
"What manner of hideous beast is this?!" he cried, pulling a bokken out of
nowhere. With Noa lowered into the cockpit of Alphonse, he was unaware a
human being was inside the police labor, but the size and humanoid shape of
it led him to believe that he was now facing an armoured cyclops.
Asuma Shinohara, sitting in his command car, winced. It was not a good
idea, he knew, to call Alphonse 'hideous' around Noa. It was especially
not a good idea to do so when she was inside a labor and the offender was
not.
"HAVE AT THEE!" Tatewaki cried, striking out with his wooden sword.
Asuma winced as he saw the bokken scratch the metallic hide of Alphonse.
This was going to hurt just to look at.
"Hmm... do we have any body bags?" Gotoh asked himself at the same moment.
"You... you... YOU HURT ALPHONSE!" Noa's scream echoed out of the labor's
speakers. She quickly drew her baton, and struck out at the kendoist.
Kunou blocked, and leapt back onto the top of his mansion's walls. "A
woman's voice? She sounds in distress! I must finish this beast now so
that I can rescue this maiden!"
"YOU'RE THE ONE CAUSING THE 'DISTRESS!'" Noa roared, striking out at him
and shattering the wall as he leapt away. "AND I'M NOT A MAIDEN! I-"
Of most of the SV2's second unit, perhaps only three people had any
significant reaction to Izumi's statement. Joudo, after gawking in
amazement that Noa would say such a thing, had- like Gotoh, Hiromi, Kanuka,
and Takeo, assumed that he knew the reason and the person behind Noa's
outburst and, while embarrasing, it was no important matter. Natsume
Kawai, being a complete innocent, had no clue as to the significance of the
labor pilot's statement- she was just confused, wondering how Noa could not
be married if she was not a maiden.
Asuma, however, was in complete shock, his mouth hanging open and his eyes
focused on the head of Alphonse. The only person who was in a position to
see his reaction was Gotoh, who's eyebrows raised in surprise before
lowering again as he took in Noa's reaction to her own statement.
Of those not in the second unit, most ignored the situation. The head of
the Kunou household, the principal of Furinkan high, had realized that his
situation was untenable- after all, he might have been a complete loon, but
for the Kunous household he had a lot of common sense when it came to
matters of survival. At that moment, he was sharing a space with Sasuke,
totally oblivious to the goings on around him. His daughter, Kodachi, was
immersed in her desire to get the Saotome boy to taste her lips- and her
new paralysis potion lipstick- to care. Ranma, himself, was too worried
that she might CATCH him and try to give him that kiss to pay any attention
to the labors.
Kunou blinked, staring at the giant in front of him. Its hands were in
front of its 'mouth,' and it was looking almost... embarrassed... as if IT
was the thing that had just spoken those words. Suddenly, he put two and
two together, and came out with an answer which was... well, partly true.
"So... you, beast, are the woman I thought I needed to rescue? You let me
believe that you needed my assistance when, in fact, you only wished to
destroy me!? This is an afront to my honor, and must be avenged!" he
cried, raising his bokken in preparation to attack.
Noa, sitting in the cockpit of Alphonse with her hands in the control
gloves covering her mouth, did little more then struggle to keep her
emotions in check. She'd just revealed something very personal to almost
all the people she cared about in the world... including one person who she
thought she might REALLY like... in a way which could seriously harm her...
intents... with that one person. This was the first snag in their
relationship- the first time something had come up which could cause him to
distance himself from her. She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she
didn't even realize that Tatewake Kunou was attacking her.
She was saved in the last second, though, by something which was more
immediately embarrasing.
"PRETTY LADY!" an old voice croaked as its owner glomped the giant labor,
taking the blow meant for it from Kunou and not even noticing the pain.
The three-foot tall bald troll-like thing carrying a giant bag with a bra
strap hanging out bounced away after its glomp, cackling gleefully and
holding a soft pink treasure.
It took Noa a few seconds to realize what had happened, but when she did...
"How did... he... ARGH! I'M GOING TO KILL THE LITTLE FREAK!" Noa cried,
and started making Alphonse chase after the old man.
Ranma dusted off his hands, having just incapacitated Kodachi with her own
potions, leaving her for the police to deal with. "Huh... that's my line,"
he said absently, before turning his attention to the other Kunou sibling-
with Noa gone, he was the only one left to face Tatewaki.
Asuma snapped out of the daze he was in when Noa's labor nearly stepped on
his command car. "Noa! What do you think you're DOING!?" he asked, nearly
shouting into the microphone.
"THAT PERVERT STOLE MY BRA!" she screamed back, not even caring about what
she was saying anymore. "HE IS GOING TO DIE!"
Asuma had heard Noa angry before, and he'd seen her when she wanted to do
some serious damage, but he couldn't remember her ever threatening to kill
someone with as much serious intent as she seemed to have right then. Then
he remembered what Noa claimed happened.
"Stole her bra?" he wondered. "How in the world did he even get to it
while she was still in the labor?"
"Hey!" Kanuka cried out, noticing what the fuss was all about. "He stole
my bra, too!" She leapt into her new patrol car and started giving chase.
Shinohara blinked- if both Kanuka and Noa were mad at this guy, he probably
should be, too- even if it WAS impossible for whoever it was to do as they
claimed. Starting his car, he started following as well.
"Hey! You guys can't handle that lech alone!" Ranma shouted, ducking a
swipe by Kunou.
*ZAP* Kunou went flying as Joudo Ishikawa connected with his labor's
baton. "Then go and help them. I'll handle this guy," the labor pilot
said over the speakers.
Ranma nodded and leapt off.
"What?! Cyclops, you have dared to strike me with such an underhanded
blow, I must have my vengeance! Have at thee!" Kunou cried, recovering.
* * * * *
The procession was not the usual one. Usually, it was either Ranma chased
by a horde of angry fiancees and enemies or Happosai leading a mob of angry
women. This time, things were slightly different.
True, Happosai was in the lead, and behind him were a couple of enraged
females, but the similarities ended there. For one thing, there were only
two females, and those were in police vehicles. However, here is where the
usual procession was interrupted- two men, one leaping from rooftop to
rooftop and the other following in another police car, were chasing the
women. One, Ranma Saotome, couldn't help but smile- for the first time he
could remember, he was the chaser and not the chased.
The other, however, was undergoing some serious emotional distress. Asuma
Shinohara was almost in a state of shock. The whole situation was
something he could not deal with, for one- he simply could not imagine a
single human being being able to stand up to a labor with, at best, a
wooden stick to defend himself, but here there were several. Then, Noa's
pronouncement- without any chance for her to give an explanation- rattled
him to his bones. He felt something in the pit of his stomach burning the
moment it had sunk in. And finally, there was this three foot tall pervert
he was chasing who was able to steal underwear through labors skins and who
could run so fast his car was almost too slow to keep up. And he hadn't
even been in the area much more than an hour!
The chase, however, came to a sudden stop when the little pervert leading
them slammed into another man's forearm.
"Ah, just who I was looking for," a powerful young man who that forearm was
attached to said, smirking arrogantly.
Ranma stopped short. "And I happened to be looking for you, Pantyhose."
Tarou's eyes hardened. "Don't call me that, Fem-boy," he spat back.
Kanuka herself had stopped short. "This is Tarou?" she asked Ranma,
pulling out her gun.
Not waiting for the pig-tailed teen to reply, Pantyhose, still tightly
grasping a struggling Happosai by the throat, turned on her. "Yeah, what
of it?" he growled, certain she would start picking on him since it was
obvious she knew his name.
"How would you like a LEGAL way to change your name?"
Tarou shrugged and grinned. "I want my name changed, but you can't do it.
Besides, beating a new one out of this guy is more fun," he said, gesturing
to Happosai by throttling him a bit.
"Actually, I CAN change your name right now, with your help. If you were
to print what you want your name to be and sign it on this document right
here," Kanuka began, pulling out a sheet of paper, "I could file the
paperwork and your name would be changed by the end of the day."
[Tarou scene]
* * * * *
[Nekohanten scene (even Chinese government does not acknowledge marriage)]
* * * * *
[Round up for questioning about Happosai scene- Kasumi, Ukyou, Nabiki,
Nodoka, Soun, and Genma. Include some answers to their questions.]
* * * * *
"I can't believe we took care of ALL of them before nightfall!" Ranma said,
surprised.
Kanuka nodded. "Yes, it is a surprise. But we don't have long now- Gotoh
will need to withdraw the labors at four o'clock, and it's three now, so go
ahead, make your move!" she whispered, pushing him into the room Akane was
in and following close behind, blocking the doorway to keep him from
running.
"Akane," Ranma began when he realized he couldn't escape. His voice was
trembling a bit. "I... want to talk to you about something."
Akane's eyes widened. "We can't talk now, Ranma- our families are in
prison- and SHE put them there!" she cried, pointing an accusing finger at
Kanuka as her other hand held Kasumi's note.
"Not exactly," Kanuka replied, stepping forward. "They're merely being
questioned in regards to the theft of many articles of feminine
undergarments. They will be released soon."
"How soon!" Akane shouted angrily, ignoring Ranma's attempts to catch her
attention.
"As soon as you and your fiancee have had a chance to talk without being
interrupted every five minutes," Kanuka barked in reply. "He arranged all
this with me so you could have some time to yourselves and decide what you
want to do about this whole set of romantic triangles you've found
yourselves in."
"RANMA! You're responsible for this?!"
"I... just wanted to find out how you feel..." Ranma answered weakly,
cowering in front of Akane's rising battle aura.
The aura went out. "You want to talk?" she asked, finally letting the
words sink in.
"That's why he got me involved," Kanuka answered when it looked like Ranma
wouldn't. "Don't worry- none of your family or friends will be harmed, and
they will all be released once you've come to some sort of decision." She
turned to leave. "I'll be waiting outside."
* * * * *
Several hours later, Kanuka- sitting outside of the room Ranma and Akane
were talking in- was starting to get worried. Their had been a lot of
shouting at various points in their conversation, and sounds which were
very similar to that of heavy objects hitting a mans skull (sounds which
kept the more voyeuristic of Unit 2's members from trying to eavesdrop),
but there hadn't been much of anything that she could hear in nearly an
hour. Maybe they'd killed each other. Coming to a decision, she decided
she'd move in to get a peek.
She turned around, and nearly collided with Ranma as he was coming out of
the door.
Recovering her composure, Kanuka asked, "Well, how did it go?"
Ranma was a bit of a mess- his hair was disheveled, his shirt was torn in
several places, and there was a smudge of something on his cheek, but he
had a wide smile planted on his face. "Um... you can release my mother and
Akane's father and older sister now. Hold onto pop and Nabiki for a little
while longer, okay? Oh, and there's one last thing I wonder if you guys
would be able to do for me..."
* * * * *
Outside of the Tendou estate, police lines blocked off all access to the
area. Two labors, piloted by Unit 2's Noa and Joudo, were on patrol,
making certain no-one who might have been missed got through. On the roof,
Asuma Shinohara acted as control for both labors. Perhaps one of the three
wished that she could join the festivities inside, but if it weren't for
her being on patrol there might not BE any festivities. Another of the
three sat in solitude, brooding over an accidental slip-up that the first
of them had made earlier that day.
Joudo Ishikawa, however, wasn't thinking about much except his job- he was,
after all, just a rookie, and had no desire to mess up during such a
routine assignment.
Inside, the wedding reception was in full swing. Everyone was chatting and
talking, and Ranma was still at the altar kissing Akane- after a while, the
priest suggested that everybody move on to the reception table, as their
wedding kiss didn't show any signs of stopping. Ranma and Akane weren't
exactly missing anything, either, since the reception was in the wedding
hall- and both were in the dojo.
Off to one side, Soun Tendou was crying. "Oh, my darling daughter...
married... it's just what I always wanted... WAH!"
"There, there," Kasumi said, comforting her father as best as she could.
The only other family member of the couple present, Nodoka Saotome, was
looking at her son kiss her daughter with an approving smile on her face.
"He's so manly... now, only if they would do something more."
Takeo sat next to Kanuka with a cup of sake in her hand. "It was such a
beautiful ceremony. And to think we would have missed it if you hadn't
become a traffic cop."
Kanuka smiled slightly, shaking her head. "All I did was help those two
out. They needed some time alone, so I gave it to them. Shinobu's the one
you should thank- she's covering ANOTHER of your shifts so that you could
attend."
Takeo smiled. "Just half a shift- and we'll take over half of her shift in
a couple of days to make up for it. We PROBABLY would have had Unit 3 take
over for us, but they're a little understaffed right now, and aren't fit to
operate."
"Understaffed?" Kanuka asked, puzzled. "What do you mean by that?"
"Oh, an explosion during some assignment they were on hurt both Akito and
Ohta. Akito was talking about quiting the SV2, and Ohta'll be in the
hospital overnight for treatment of some of the more significant burns.
His labor was totalled- the maintenance squad couldn't even salvage it for
spare parts. One of the retired Type-96 Asuka's was brought in to serve as
our third labor until the new equipment arrives."
Kanuka shook her head. "Sheesh- sounds like they're in trouble. Who're
they moving in to replace Akito?"
Takeo shrugged. "I don't think they have anyone in mind. YOU could
probably transfer in, if you wanted- after all, everyone knows how good you
are with a labor, and you HAVE handled Ohta before..."
Kanuka smiled thoughtfully. More time in the SV2. A month ago, that would
have sounded almost like a threat. A week ago, that would have sounded
like a blessing. Now? Well, she'd been real upset at the prospect of
becoming a traffic cop, but she loved how her first day (gods, was it only
ONE day?) turned out. It proved to be just as challenging as a labor
assignment, and it was also much easier to SEE how the things she had done
as a cop turned out as a traffic cop. Maybe it wasn't such a bad
assignment after all. Maybe tomorrow, instead of regretting that she
wasn't in a labor squad, she'd be enjoying herself as she sorted out the
problems she'd read about regarding Tomobiki...
"Whoa!" Natsume Kawai cried out in surprise as she stumbled over a loose
floorboard. Her glass of champagne went flying... and splashed the groom
as he was still kissing the bride.
Or was that the bride as she was kissing the bride?
"Uh..." a now female Ranma said, breaking the kiss.
"I win this round," Akane could be heard whispering into her new husbands
ear. "You broke the kiss first."
"I can explain!" Ranma began, trying to soothe the startled guests. "See,
my pop took me on this training trip to China, and he had no idea what he
was doing when he took me to this training ground, see, that had these
cursed springs..."
On second thought... "Um, Takeo- can you help me set up an appointment
with Captain Gomioka in the morning, so I can discuss taking over Akito's
position? I think this place is just a little TOO wierd for me..."
-------------------------
Next Episode: Unit Two has a day off, but Shinohara can't go with Noa out
for the drink,
as they planned- instead, he has to go out to dinner... with his FATHER.
Will they be able to avoid any major fights? Will Asuma run out? Will Noa
get pissed that he cancelled their 'date' without any expanation? Will Noa
say why she's no longer a maiden? Will she and Asuma even be able to talk
about it? At this point... even I don't really know the answers to all of
these questions.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sir Desaix, member # 116 of the Knights of the True Fiancee
desaix@sysnet.net
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/7872
fanfics available at
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/7872/fanfics.htm