All Ranma characters are property of Rumiko Takahashi, first published
by Shogakugan in Japan and brought over to North
America by Viz Communications.

Addicted pt 3: the bet
     Ranma no Video
Insert standard fanfic disclaimer of your choice here.
WARNING: There are Lime moments ahead. No actual descriptions of sexual
acts occur, but they ARE referred to.
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Kasumi blinked and gasped. Akane held her hands over her eyes,
occasionally  peeking, then shuddering. Nabiki looked a
little pale herself, the "Ice Queen" facade having crumpled during the
first few minutes. Ukyo swore. Shampoo merely had a
sick look on her face. Ranma fainted.

They were, of course, watching a poorly edited and obviously homemade
videotape of events that were largely unremembered at least on a
conscious level.  "Aiyaaaaaa... no wonder great grandma-ma was telling
me to use ancient amazon extra strength mouthwash...." <shudder> "...and
brush and floss."

"I can't believe that... I... he... we..." Ukyo began to swear, quietly,
but with all the attention to fine detail as a sailor from Kobe.

"Damn... I knew I was limber, but..." Nabiki's voice trailed off and she
stared at the unconscious Ranma. She had a new
appreciation for the finely toned body of a martial artist.

"Oh my, oh my, oh my." Kasumi held one hand in front of her mouth, and
just stared. "Oh dear."

Akane noticed that Ranma was escaping having to sit through this by
means of his faint. "PERVERT!" < WHAM! >

Ranma woke up, glanced towards the television, and didn't blink for
several minutes.

Cologne popped her head into the room. "Oh, so you're finally watching
that  thing." She noted that absolutely no one had paid her any
attention, and further, it was unlikely that anything short of WWIII
would have caused the small group to notice anything besides the events
on the tape.

After another half-hour, the tape finally ended. Cologne noted the
shell-shocked look several of them were manifesting.

"Uhm, I'm sorry. I'm really, really, really, sorry." Ranma managed to
say though he was addressing a section of the floor.

Kasumi, currently an interesting shade of scarlet, nodded absently.

"Great grandma-ma, you know what happen yet?"

"Yes, child. I have two bits of news for you all." Cologne waited a bit,
knowing that the scenes they had just viewed were going to put them back
into shock for a little bit.

"News?" Nabiki finally got her mind out of neutral.

"Yes. Tell me, child, any odd dreams lately? Cravings? Odd feelings or
sensations?"

Nabiki nodded. She noticed everyone else was doing the same thing and
getting rather nervous looking as they did so.

"The song, as you recall, was 'Addicted To Love.'" Cologne had never
heard the song before herself, but with a chorus like that what else
would it be titled? She didn't listen to much music herself.

"What music?"

"Shampoo hear what sound like music playing at beginning of tape..."

"Hmmm, let me see it." Cologne inspected the tape as Ukyo brought it
over.

"Interesting. This is a copy of a copy. Happosai apparently made the
original, now someone else has gotten into the act and started their own
distributorship."

Nabiki made a little noise in the back of her throat as she caught a
good look at the labels. "Made in Hong Kong?"

The little group looked at each other, knowing that tape pirates in
areas like Hong Kong usually made copies of 10,000 minimum. Adding
international distributorship to the equation...

Kasumi's usual air of ignoring everything unpleasant was gone. Of them
all, she was the most shattered by the shame involved here. "How can I
face anyone ever again?"

"Kasumi," Ranma gently wiped a tear from her cheek. "Kasumi, be strong.
It wasn't your fault. We'll survive this..."

"Sis," Nabiki hugged her sister briefly.

"Well, it seems the second hand copies have some scenes cut." Cologne
sighed. "Before I go any further, please be seated and do not interrupt
me. I have a lot of information to impart."

Cologne waited until everyone had sat and quieted down. She nodded once,
they were strong and therefore worthy additions
to the tribe.

"You were drugged all right, and quite thoroughly. Happosai may have
done all this, though Mousse is certainly an accomplice. Those samples
of the dinner that you brought me, Nabiki, contained several drugs known
to the Amazons, though Happosai may have learned of them during his long
life without any involvement of the Nichieju.

"Posthypnotic mushrooms, by themselves, would have worn off by now.
Stabilizer herbs make the timing a bit trickier. Powdered phoenix
shell... now we're getting into some real problems.  There is one more
drug that may have been used, but
I'm hoping it was not."

"They haven't worn off..." Nabiki rubbed her forehead. She knew a
headache was arriving soon.

"Not quite, child. While you likely aren't going to repeat the events on
the tape whenever someone snaps their fingers, you
haven't left the presence of the others for very long have you? What's
the most you've been separated, maybe six hours?"

Everyone started thinking about that. Cologne wasn't nearly done yet.

"Then there were the other commands. Quite obviously these were NOT the
work of Mousse. No, I'd say Happosai used
Mousse pretty thoroughly in this little event, and sought revenge in
this manner for any number of slights.

"By turning a profit on this whole sordid mess, he is thumbing his nose
at Nabiki. The public shame may not have been entirely his plan, as he
had originally just sold the tapes to Furinkan students and apparently
put a few 'freebies' out to people who  knew you. The shame was his
strike against Akane and Ukyo. Having to share her husband is his blow
against Shampoo. The knife in Ranma's ribs is that people he cares about
are hurt and will continue to be hurt through his actions, however
little  control he might have had about them at the time.

"Or at least, that's how I see it."

"Why me?" Kasumi had a quaver in her voice.

"Mainly to hurt son-in-law, I think. You, of everyone else here, have
offered Ranma the least hurt. It will also devastate your
father." Cologne watched them. They were not terribly receptive now, but
some things could not be put off any further. That she'd gotten this far
off the subject indicated how upset she was herself. "In any case, that
is not as important as this is."

"Not important?" Ukyo squeaked.

"There are some long term effects." Cologne shook her head. "The other
commands, which combined with the words of that
damned song, are going to take months to work out of your system even if
I used Formula 113 shampoo on each of you."

"< Great grandma-ma, they are amazons now. If it is as I suspect, they
deserve
to know. >"

"Yes child. The drug I alluded earlier is one of our village secrets.
Its name would translate most literally as 'Constancy' or
'Faithfulness' in Japanese. It would be unthinkable for Mousse to use
it, as it is well known that for a male even to knowingly
carry the material is an immediate death sentence.

"Have you never wondered, son-in-law, about the laws? How an outsider
male defeating an amazon must be brought within
the tribe? How would we control such males if they have already proven
capable of defeating their wives in combat? Peer
pressure, strength in numbers, yes, these and similar factors are the
ones most employed. As you may now realize, such is not
ALWAYS the case."

"Why do I have a feeling this is going to be unpleasant?"

Cologne nodded. "Happosai using the drug on Shampoo, even if he merely
placed it in and then had Mousse deliver it, has
placed himself under Edict. He will be slain with no more ceremony than
a rabid dog should he step anywhere near the village. The effect of
'Faithfulness' is simple. The wife has some, then has her husband
fulfill his duties after a few hours for the drug to work its way
through her system. The husband is then 'addicted' to the wife."

"So Ranma's addicted to at least one of us," Akane narrowed her gaze
towards Ranma. If the tape had been accurate then...

"No, child." Cologne sighed and shrugged while looking at Nabiki. "The
reason that it is so forbidden for a male to possess
the drug is that it works the other way as well."

"What's the cure?" Nabiki glared at Ranma, though she didn't seem to be
able to put any feeling in it. After all, he was in a
bad situation himself. Injuries carried over when he switched forms so
drugs would likely do so as well.

A new voice came from the foyer. "Enough, Cologne. I haven't seen a mess
THIS screwed up since Pin Ya and Ko Lada
went after the legendary Mambo Jack. My goodness, that must have been
about..."

"It was in '38, Lilac." Cologne nodded. "Oh yes, the second Elder needed
to officiate at this little event has arrived."

Lilac, a three-foot tall, not nearly as gnarled or old as Cologne,
amazon stepped forward. In her hands was a staff identical to
Cologne's. "My goodness, so this is the young boy who's caused all the
fuss.  My, my. I expected you to be... taller, sonny boy. With muscles
rippling like some Japanese Adonis. I am SO disappointed."

"Urk." Ranma managed to get out that much, but it was obvious that he
had gone further and further into shock. Kasumi looked so completely out
of it that she'd probably not have noticed if Cologne were to announce
her upcoming wedding to Mister Ed.

"My and such a charming conversationalist." Lilac looked over at Cologne
and raised an eyebrow. "You know, Cologne, the
tales of this boy doing such martial arts maneuvers and learning all
those techniques didn't impress me nearly so much as that
videotape. Any man that manages to satisfy five women, even with
frequent naps and an interesting pharmacology in him, has
got some qualities we DEFINITELY want to add to the amazons. I remember
my Douglas..."

"Don't start on that now," Cologne said with a scowl.

"You see," Lilac hobbled over to Kasumi and gave her a nudge and a wink,
"we don't always just need warriors added to the
gene pool. Oh my, no."

"Must you, Lilac?"

"My Douglas, for example. Well, the village needed an outside expert in
some VERY delicate matters. So, back in '09, I
sought out this dashing young fellow and deliberately lost to him in an
'accident' thereby bringing his knowledge to the Nichieju. Very valuable
catch he turned out to be, eh, Cologne?"

"What was he, a doctor? An engineer?" Kasumi licked her lips and found
herself watching Ranma. He was a strong warrior,
which was something they wanted now.

"Oh heavens, no. My Douglas was VERY good with his hands, he was." Lilac
cackled, which caused Kasumi to blush.

"He was a PLUMBER, all right." Cologne glared at Lilac. "We got someone
who understood sewage systems, water purification, dam building, and
basic modern construction techniques. What we got out of all this was
indoor plumbing, simple
water purification, and a small dam that supplies electricity to the
village. Which merely proves that SOME people play fast and loose with
the rules and if it benefits the village in the long run, then in the
long run it is overlooked. Which is the point my esteemed colleague is
trying to make."

Lilac smiled at Kasumi. "Come on, dear. I know you and your sister over
there aren't exactly top-notch warriors. That doesn't mean you're
defenseless, does it? Even if you decide not to lose in battle against
the young man currently twitching over there that doesn't mean you can't
exercise some choices. The only choice you don't have right now, is the
one to wait around."

"There are suitors coming?" Cologne followed her question with an
ancient swearword peculiar to the amazons. It involved
the male gender denoted which head was being used to think with, and
that said male wasn't particularly good with either of
the two in any capacity. It also referred to something you make french
fries out of.

"Oh yes, yes. I figure within three days the first two will get here. I
may be old, but I can travel pretty damn fast when I need to." Lilac
shuddered. "You know the culprits, that monstrously obese child and his
brother."

"Sponge and Rag?" Shampoo seemed to flinch and shudder at the same time,

managing to look thoroughly revolted. "We hurry before they get here. If
they beat merc... Nabiki and Kasumi, it very bad.  Would not even wish
that on crazy psycho nutcase girl."

"They're that bad?" Nabiki blinked at Lilac's nod.

"They could NEVER get brides within the village. You've no doubt heard
that the village isn't very big, and the gene pool is
therefore not that large itself? Well those two are living proof."

"So," Cologne looked at each of the women in turn. "Tomorrow we schedule
the match. You have until then to secure a
more suitable candidate, otherwise Ranma shall have to fight you with
the others. Nabiki, we might be able to postpone your
fight for the remainder of your pregnancy, but those two are not
terribly clever and may endanger your child by some 'accident.' While
such a crime would result in the two being punished, it would still be
best to remove yourself from their consideration."

"DO try, Nabiki dear. I hear you're quite the businesswoman, and not all
battles are resolved in hand-to-hand combat, eh?"
Lilac smiled for a moment. "And as for you, young lady, I've heard
you've an inclination for the healing arts, for cooking, and
for space management. All quite valuable skills even if it doesn't make
you the front line fighter. I would hate to see either of
you trapped into a marriage to those two utter wastes."

"Tomorrow then, at noon, I think. To delay further involves further
risk."  Cologne looked at the clock. Early evening. "Time
to get busy. You can go comfortably numb after you've resolved the
problem."

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