Okay... before you read on, I request that noone hunts me down after 
this. I warn you now, this contains a joke that will leave you REALLY 
annoyed.

*****
Kuno to the Rescue!

     OR

Every Noble Swordsman Must...

(You know who wrote this. Everyone else has more taste.)
*****

Again was the scene repeated day after day... Kunou facing off against 
Ranma. The great Blue Thunder of Furinkan High attempted to thrash Ranma 
Saotome into the ground and claim both the Pig-tailed girl and Akane 
Tendo. Bets were placed with Nabiki, and Ranma was a dead cert to win.

Until something totally unexpected happened. 

Kunou stopped short. Ranma, totally off guard, lost his balance, and 
fell flat on the ground.

Kunou was still, listening to something. He turned his head a few times, 
as if trying to get his bearings. Then he turned and ran.

Unsurprisingly, there was dead silence in the courtyard. Everyone in the 
school seemed to have facefaulted at once. Ranma picked himself up, and 
gazed after the accelerating Kunou. 

"Anyone know what all that was about?"

All shook their heads.

The silence continued, but was broken by a small sound: that of Nabiki 
Tendo beating her head of a brick wall for not thinking of this 
possibility. A draw was the only outcome that she hadn't made any 
provision for.

*****

Later that day, Tatewaki Kunou returned to Furinkan high. The first 
person to greet him was Ranma.

"Yo, Stick-boy, what happened?"

"Ranma Saotome, I will gladly explain if you will kindly remove thy feet 
from my back!"

A little later...

A crowd had gathered. It was obvious that Kunou had been in some 
terrible fight; his bokken was cut and... chewed, for want of a better 
word. His clothes were dusty, and his hands and face were cut.

"Yes, I will tell you of the noble quest I undertook today. As a true 
noble swordsman, I can hear calls for help that others will not- indeed, 
cannot. So I was simply obeying my nature. 

"I raced across much of Tokyo, lest I arrive too late to be of any 
service. I took shortcuts through building sites, fought through that 
which is commonly known as 'fight forest', and leapt through terrible 
firey infernos."

Nabiki was plotting a possible course on a map. Building sites... 
here... fight forest... hmmm... infernos? Oh yeah, that tyre storage 
fire earlier. That means... eh?

Kunou continued. "There I came upon my foes: a group of ruffians and 
brigands, armed with axes and those horrible modern tools known as 
chainsaws.

"I vanquished them all, and saved the entire orchard of plum trees!"

Again, all facefaulted. After a few seconds, Ranma asked the question 
all were thinking.

"Err... why did you have to rescue a load of plum trees?"

"Is it not the duty of noble swordsmen to rescue damsons in distress?"




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