[Hiroshi and Daisuke sit watching a computer screen, as Gary enters.]

Gary: What's going on?

Daisuke: The Principal is sending us a fic to MST.

Hiroshi: Yeah. He says we don' gotta bodda wit de intro dis time.

UkyouKwnji@aol.com wrote:

An Incident at the Ucchan
a Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by Ukyou Kuonji (well, who else?)

Hiroshi: Well, there is that person we met at Anime C--

Gary: Shaddap. I've put my foot in it enough lately.

==========
NOTE:  We, the characters of Ranma 1/2, are all the property of 
Rumiko Takahashi and whoever else she has, Nabiki-like, decided 
to sell or rent us out to.

Daisuke: Hey, everybody's gotta make a living somehow.

 Any attempt by us to alter our own 
destinies through such means as fanfiction is totally unauthorized 
and probably futile as well.

Hiroshi: But fun.

==========

Okonomi-yaki.  That was what she smelled as she opened her eyes.

But it wasn't just the ordinary smell that always permeated the 
Ucchan, even when no one was cooking...

Hiroshi: Konatsu's B.O.?

Gary: <winces>

no, this was the scent of 
okonomi-yaki on the grill.  Downstairs.  Right now.

The door to the bedroom burst open.  "Mommie!  Mommie!  Come 
downstairs, quick!"

Daisuke: What is it, Lassie? Dad? Trapped in Deadrock Canyon?

A smile filled her face, and her eyes nearly brimmed with tears. 
Her child, her own child.  How many times she had been in this 
very room, dreaming of that voice, of those words?

Hiroshi: Counting this time?

Gary: Hey! Don't give away the ending.

 She found 
herself sitting up in bed as the little boy rushed to her arms, 
giving her a great big hug.

"What is it... "  She paused.

Daisuke: "It's a great big hug, Mommy! Didn't you hear the narrator?"

 In her surprised joy, she had 
forgotten her son's name.  Then, a name came to her: "...Kyouma?"

Hiroshi: "Kyouma! Yes! Kyouma will be able to tell me what my kid's name
is!"

She paused at the threshold, though, to take a look at the bed. 
It was nearly twice the size of the one that used to sit in the 
middle of the room for all those years, and somehow, it still 
looked like it fit in perfectly, without being cramped for space. 
Off to the side, there was a chair next to a dresser, neither of 
which looked familiar to her.  The red Chinese shirt draped over 
the chair, on the other hand, was as familiar as a second skin.  
It really was *their* room, and not just hers... and she couldn't 
be happier about it.

All: <Whistle the theme from Twilight Zone>

Kyouma wasn't about to give her much time to think, however.  
Once again, he grasped her hand and made for the stairwell leading 
to the Ucchan proper.  "Come *on*, mommie!"  The two of them fairly 
tumbled downstairs to the restaurant...

Gary "Fairly?"

Daisuke: I suppose it'd be unfair if Ukyo pushed the kid down ahead of
her....

..where he was waiting, behind the grill, with an apron around his 
waist, and a smile upon his face.

Hiroshi: And nothing else!

Gary: NO!

"Unca 'Natsu helped him out, mommie."

Gary: "Mommie" should be capitalized when used as a name.

 Ranma blushed and rolled his 
eyes at Kyouma's outburst.  He *still* didn't like admitting he 
wasn't perfectly capable of doing everything... but coming from 
his son - *their* son - how could he get mad?

Gary: Don't slip out of Ukyo's POV.

Daisuke: Maybe that was Ukyo's POV, and she's just surmising all of that
about Ranma's feelings.

"It's burning!!"  And Ranma turned away from her momentarily to tend 
to the damaged breakfast.  It was then that Ukyou became away of a 
tugging sensation on her throat, which soon developed into a violent 
jerk backwards.

And then everything went white.

Hiroshi: The Klan had moved into the neighborhood, you see, and....

Gary: Guys....

-----

It was late.  The Ucchan should be opening soon.  Where was the 
mistress? 

Daisuke: Since when is Ukyo Konatsu's mistress?

Gary: I don't think he meant it like that.

Daisuke: Like what?

<Probably sleeping off the hangover from the reception,> 
Konatsu thought.  <Maybe we can delay the opening until she's ready.

Gary: You don't need to use the <angle brackets> here. You could just
say 'Maybe they could delay the opening until she was ready.'

<In the meantime, I think I can make her some breakfast.>  The 
kunoichi ladled out some batter onto the warm grill, and poured 
some of Ukyou-sama's favorite vegetables and spices onto the 
steaming batter.  After browning it on both sides, he slid the 
finished product onto a plate and headed up to her room.

Hiroshi: I bet Ukyo is just dying for one of these right now....

Gary: <mallets Hiroshi>

Knock-knock.

Hiroshi: Who's there?

Daisuke: Kunos.

Hiroshi: Kunos who?

Daisuke: Kunos what evil lurks in the hearts of men....

 "Mistress?"  knock-knock.  "Ukyou-sama?  I brought 
you some -"  Words escaped the kunoichi as he entered to find a 
chair toppled over and his mistress dangling from the ceiling above 
him.

Hiroshi: Eep.

Daisuke: "Ukyo-sama! Stop doing your Spider-man imitation and eat this
food!"

 There was a piece of paper pinned to her okonomi-yaki seller's 
uniform:

    Konatsu -
    I'm so sorry to do this to you,
    but I just can't go on.  All my 
    life I've been envisioning that
    someday Ran-chan and I would...

The note was a bit damp and illegible here.  But it continued 
further down the page.

Daisuke: This section will not be shown, as it would give this story a
lemon rating.

Konatsu folded the letter and slipped it into his kimono, next 
to his heart.  A broken plate and a cold okonomi-yaki sat on the 
threshold of Ukyou's apartment as her faithful ninja trudged 
downstairs to inform the authorities.

Hiroshi: "And did she bother to leave me the restaurant in her will?
Noooooo.... <grumble>"

*****

Well, it's been a while since I've written a good stinger.  
(heh)  Maybe it still has.

Daisuke: It's been a long time since we've written a good MSTing.

Gary: It still has. Anyway, what did you think?

Hiroshi: Interesting. Kind of a couple standard ideas rolled together
into one, and pretty well done for a short.

Gary: Yeah, "Ukyo" always writes a good fic. And it did show one of the
few plausible ways Ukyo could actually end up with Ranma.

Hiroshi: In her dreams?

Gary: Yup.

Daisuke: Want to know what I think?

Gary: Yeah.

Daisuke: It was MURDER!

G&H: Huh?

Daisuke: Elementary. Ukyo felt her neck being constricted *during* her
little excursion into fantasyland. How could she have been hanging
herself then? No, what happened was, Kodachi slipped a delayed-action
hallucinogen into Ukyo's booze at the reception. She then snuck into her
place the next morning, strung up Ukyo, and made it look like a suicide.
Why? Because it's all part of her plot, which also involves manipulating
Akane and Shampoo into killing each other, thereby leaving her as the
only surviving candidate for her darling Ranma! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!

Gary: We're sorry, folks. He's been like this ever since he did "Did She
Jump or Was She Pushed...."

Hiroshi: Yeah. Until next time....