allyn yonge <ayonge@yahoo.com> wrote:

1) Is it a good read? Do you enjoy the plot?
Characterization?

It's a pretty good read. The format and grammar are much improved,
though there's still some problems with missing punctuation and stuff
like that. All the characters seem to me pretty much believable and
consistent with what we know about them from the series.

2) Does the story as a whole capture your attention? Is it
hard to wait for the next chapter or would you rather watch
paint dry?

It's an engaging story, with lots of good conflict.

3) Is the plot exciting and internally consistent? Is the story
line easy to follow, hard to follow or "What story line?"
         

It's reasonably clear. I think the revelations about Nabiki in ch. 5
came a little too quickly, but other than that it seems fine.


Gary