{Characters and situations created and owned by Rumiko Takahashi,
Disney, and others.  I am not claiming them as my own.  The rabbit
thing is Richard lawson's fault, the Nabimbo is Zen's and the rest is
mine.}



Substitutiary Pitail-motion
a crossover spamfic
by Lara Bartram

  	The bed shook furiously as it traveled through a time-space
swirl of lights and colors.  The three children and two adults on it
held on as it rocked back and forth.
	"Hold on, children.  We shan't be too much longer," the woman
warned.
	The bed landed with an unceremonious thud, skidding to a halt
in a large, well-maintained yard.  Motes of magic swirled around
briefly before disippating into nothingness.
	"Where the devil do you suppose we are?  This doesn't look
like London," the man said, getting off the bed.
	Before anyone could consider answering, there was noise from
above.
	A young man in a red shirt and black pants, with a long braid
came bounding off the roof toward them.  "Filligree apogee pedigree
perigee!" the woman said loudly, pointing at the boy.
	Ranma's charge stopped in mid-bound, even if he was only
making a break for the gate.  His entire body twitched for a moment
before he shrunk and dropped to the ground.  In the body of a large
white rabbit.
	"Ranma!  I didn't mean it!" a voice shouted form inside the
house.  The door opened and out came a girl with short hair.
"Ranma!" she called again, then stopped up short when she saw the
people, and the bed, in the yard.  "Um..." she started.
	"Akaaaneee..."
	The girl flinched at the sound of the deep, menacing voice.
"Oneechan, don't chase Ranma!" she yelled back inside.
	A figure appeared in the door, one that made the strangers hop
on the bed in preparation for an emergency escape.
	"Oneechan, you didn't have to change.  Ranma was just
kidding."
	The beastly figure shook its head.  And then it spotted the
fat rabbit sitting in the yard, in shock apparently, and licked its
chops.
	The girl got one look at this, her eyes widening comically.
"Oneechan!  No!  That's Ranma!"
	The rabbit got one look at "Oneechan" and took off as fast as
he could move.
	"Oneechan" quickly followed.
	"Stop!  Don't eat him!" the girl yelled and followed.
	A young woman stepped outside with a broom in hand.  "Oh, I
didn't know we had guests," she upon seeing everyone the bed.  "Would
you like some tea?"
	The woman on the bed seemed to recover quickest.  "Yes,
please, but if you wouldn't mind..."
	"Yes?"
	"Who and what were those..."
	"Oh, well, Nabiki was teasing Ranma again, and Akane was
trying not to..."
	The rest of what was said was lost on the group of
non-Japanese; they had no idea what was being talked about.
	At that point, the procession returned, but in reverse.  This
time, it was a young woman with short hair and only what appeared to
be a pillowcase wrapped around her nakedness being chased by the boy
in the red shirt with the original young woman following.

[After a lot of explaining no one wants to read...]

	The oldest boy, Charlie, walked up quietly to the door of the
sister he had seen mostly naked.  "You know, I've been ta Naboombu,"
he said casually.
	"That's nice," Nabiki answered, ignoring him.
	"Yah, i's a nice place.  Though the king needed a breath
mint."
	"Right," Nabiki said, still reading.
	"Yeah.  Naboombu..."
	Nabiki finally got the idea he was attempting to talk to her.
She lowered her manga and looked him in the eye.  "What do you want?"
	Charlie shrugged.  "Jus' telling you about Naboombu."
	"And I care about this... why?"
	"Well tha's your name, i'n't it?"
	Nabiki boggled for a moment.  "Noooo..."  She laughed a little
at the absurdity of it.  "Thank goodness.  My name's Nabiki, kid."
	"Nabiki, Naboombu, i's close."
	"Not really.  Go play with your dancing underwear and your
'knobs' and just leave me alone."  Nabiki stood and politely closed
the door in Charlie's face.
	Charlie walked away slowly, looking back twice.  "It wasn't
_my_ underwear... just my pants."

	"Charlie, hurry now.  We're about to leave."
	"Yes, ma'am.  I jus' need ta get my shoes." he answered
loudly.  The others were on the bed, waiting for him so they could all
get back to London.
	The sister identified as Kasumi walked out of the kitchen to
see him off.  "Did you find my sister?" she ask pleasantly.
	"Yeah.  That Nabimbo's got a real at'itude problem," he
answered, getting his feet into his worn shoes.
	"Nabimbo eh?"
	Charlie squeaked as he was lifted into the air by the back of
his jacket.
	Nabiki turned him around so she could look at him.  "You said
the king on the island had bad breath, you don't even want to see how
I can get when I'm annoyed."  She growled and twitched her lip,
showing off one long tooth.
	Charlie gulped and nodded.  "Sorry, ma'am.  It'll never 'appen
again."
	"Good, make sure it doesn't," she warned, setting him back on
the ground.
	Charlie glanced back furtively as he ran to the bed and jumped
on.
	Nabiki shook her head and returned to her room, while Kasumi
waved merrily as the bed disappeared.
	Sighing, she returned to the kitchen and looked at all the work
that needed to be done.  Looking to make sure no one was listening or
watching, she whispered, "Traguna Macoides Dregorum Sadis Dee."