Spring is in the Air
A little YYH cross Ranma piece by Adrian Wong
None of these chars are mine, so don't sue me!
"WHOOHOOO!!!!"
Leaping up onto a rather tall Sakura Tree branch, Yuusuke reared back his
arm and slapped it, sending pink petals showering down to his friends from
beneath. "There's nothing like skipping in the wonderful springtime, is
there, Kurama . . . Kurama?"
Kurama, meanwhile, was looking a little red on the face as he scratched
around his elbows and knees uncomfortably. "I don' feel so good . . . How
on Earth do I let you guys talk me into skipping school and coming HERE of
all places anyway?"
"Oh, loosen up, will-ya?" Yuusuke laughed as he slapped the slender
redhead on his back repeatedly while pushing him out of the school grounds,
"It is ABNORMAL for a young teenage Japanese male not to have skipped at
least one day of school."
"Yuusuke's got a point," Kuwabawa chirped in as he drowned his beer, "only
sissy girls go through highschool with perfect school records. You may a
400 yr-old fox demon, but WE 14 yr-olds have a thing or two to show ya
about being REAL MEN in the mortal world . . . by the way, why are you
scratching yourself?"
"None of your business!" Kurama snapped . . . before quickly putting up his
good boy persona once more. "Gomen, I . .. "
"Kurama the "mama's dream" is getting snappy," Yuusuke whistled, "this is
not good. C'mon, tell us what's bothering you?'
"No!" the boy blushed as red as his flaming hair as his scratching
increase in intensity as it slowly got to his inner thighs. "You guys will
just laugh at me."
"Hey, Hey," Kurabawa put a hand around the shoulder of the much smaller
teen, "we're ya buddies, we won't tease ya . . . and why are still
scratching? Did you get mosquito bites just from walking through this park?"
"Did you get allergies to the spring pollens?" Yuusuke chipped in curiously.
"Or did you just forgot to shower last night?"
"Or maybe you didn't change underwear .. . "
"IT'S SPRING AND I'M JUST GETTING HORNY,OKAY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"
The entire park froze as everyone turned to the usually demure redhead with
stunned looks. Coughing demurely, Kurama asked in his normal voice. "Is
something the matter?"
The bystanders all looked away and went on with their own lives again.
Meanwhile, Kurabawa sweated as he unlatched his arm from the bishonen's
shoulder and began edging away.
"Well, don't tell me I am the cause or I'm out of here right now."
"Of course it can't be you, you ugly brute! WE are the ones who are truly
the cause of, Shuuichi-sama's horniness!!!"
With that, various gangs of ultra-kawaii high-school girls from around the
area who had been ear-dropping on the bishonen of their dreams leapt out of
their hiding places and jumped him. It took the thee boys 15 minutes to
get away from them using their various supernatural powers.
"God . . . that was brutal . . ." Kurama gasped s he clutched at his chest
while breathing haggardly.
"Yeah . . .WAIT!" Yuusuke exclaimed as he slammed a fist into his palm, "I
finally get it now, it's so obvious! Kurama is suffering from the MATING
SEASON SYNDROME !!"
"The Mating Season Syndrome?!" Kuwabawa asked.
"That's right! Most types of mammals restrict their mating period to
spring time so as to not overpopulate the land. Since Kurama is actually
a half Fox Demon, so NATURALLY he becomes horny in this season!"
"I SEE!" Kurabawa exclaimed dramatically. "And how are supposed to help
him get rid of his . . . animal desires?"
"Well, I remember this neighbor of mine whose cat ALWAYS used to run wild
during Spring Time, meowing at night in frustration as it was kept indoor
and away from its mates. Finally, the neighbor got fed up with its night
time meowing and took it to an animal doctor for this little operation.
It worked like a charm, stifling it sex drive and all. But . . . Oi,
where's Kurama?"
Looking around, the two delinquents found that their "friend" was long
since gone, leaving but a few stray rose petals in his leave. Sighing,
Yuusuke went on: "I'm just about to tell him that since he's human now, he
can simply go lock himself in a washroom and have fun till the need was
satisfied. Oh well."
* * * * * *
"Ranma, you come here to see Shampoo again? Shampoo so flattered!"
At Nekohanten, an ultra heated Shampoo was purring sensuously while
draping her arms all around her intended prey, making the latter agitated
(due to being touched) and nervous (due to the glare that Akane is giving
him).
."I only come to EAT, OKAY!?"
Giving the boy a look of mocking hurt, Shampoo replied, "You no come here
to see Shampoo? You only come here to eat . . . in that case . . ." she
abruptly whipped out an impossibly long bill and shove it in front of
Ranma, "please pay up for all times when Ranma eat for free here like real
customer!"
Ranma's eyes bogged out at the titanic sum at the end of the bill.
"You . . . you've been keeping track of how much I had eaten in this place?!"
"Of course, silly Ranma," Shampoo replied with a shrug as her eyes got even
more feverish, "why think Shampoo ask Ranma to fill in special postponed
bill with signature every time before serving food? So, ready pay up now?"
"Umm . . . about what I said earlier? It was really a joke: OF COURSE I
COME HERE TO SEE YOU, you silly girl!" Ranma said with a strained smile as
Shampoo launched herself onto him.
"AIYA! Shampoo so happy!" she smiled with glee and began to feel him up
for good measure, causing the latter to yelp like a puppy. < Served you
right for thinking that you can get away with cleaning out my restaurant
without paying back, foolish man! >
"Sh-Shampoo!!!"
"BAKA!" Akane scolded in disgust while whacking Ranma one over the head,
"Told you not to eat so damned much in this cursed place! Turning to
Shampoo, Akane snapped. "Cancel the order: we don't want it anymore."
"Are you sure?" Shampoo asked, cocking up an eyebrow.
"But Akane ~" Ranma whined, and Akane socked him one on the jaw to cut him
off.
"BAKA! The more we eat here, the MORE we have to pay back later!"
"But this is the only Chinese restaurant that I can afford to go eat at!"
Ranma relocated his jaws and began to plead with his fiancee with the
intensity of an addict, "C'mon, once more, just once more before I have to
forsake spring rolls and wined-jellyfish forever!"
"NO!" Akane barked.
"You want cancel?" Shampoo smirked, "Sure. Canceling Fee is double the
original price of the dish . . . as stated in the far right corner of the
menu in ultra-tiny print."
"WHAT?!" Checking the menu to confirm it, Akane began to glow with an
unholy aura, preparing to release it at the only available outlet.
"RANMA NO BAKA!!!"
With that, she began trashing the boy for good. Surprisingly, Shampoo
pulled Ranma away from her and held him protectively.
"Sorry, Akane. While Shampoo very enjoy seeing Akane show Ranma the
abusive spouse that she is, Shampoo need Ranma functionable right now . . .
will even cancel bill if Ranma cooperate."
"Eh?" Akane asked, stopping her assault. "What are you talking about?"
"As Akane must know from class, if Japanese school is up to standard, that
most types mammals restrict mating period to spring time so as no
overpopulate land."
" . . . so ?" Akane asked, clueless.
"Shampoo have cat curse, dummy."
The Japanese girl collapsed at hearing that.
"You mean to tell me that you're going to be even hornier than you usual
bimbo-ish self now that it's Spring?!"
"Who you call bimbo?! Shampoo just plain horny!" Shampoo hit her over
the head with her bonbori. Turning back to the dazed and not quite sober
Ranma, she purred eagerly, "Ranma, today right in exact middle of spring,
and Shampoo in hell. You only one can help Shampoo! If you go up to room
with Shampoo and help Shampoo in time of NEED, Shampoo consider us even!"
Ranma's eyes were still crossed from Akane's hits over his head.
"Well, if I still get to eat afterwards . . ."
"Grrrr . . ." Lifting up a table in the restaurant, Akane swing it
around and batted Shampoo off Ranma and through the roof. "I'D RATHER PAY
UP THAN TO LET YOU HAVE HIM, YOU SLUT!!"
Coughing lightly, Cologne skipped out from behind the counter and asked,
"Miss Tendo . . . about the broken roof, the smashed ceiling lantern and
the now cracked table in your hands? Have you any idea how much these
things cost to be imported from China? Not to mention the set back our
restaurant will suffer from closing down due to repairs after YET another
one of your fights at this eating establishment . . . I'm assuming that
you do intend to 'pay up', so to speak?"
" . . ." Akane began to sweat as Cologne got a crafty smile on her face.
* * * * * *
"Those IDIOTS!" Kurama spat as he struggled to not scratch himself since
he was now walking through a crowded street. "Sometimes I have to wonder
if they REALLY are my friends or not . . ."
"Oh man, look at that."
"Huh?"
Hearing the excited male conversations from around him, Kurama followed
their gazes, and his eyes budged out as he realized where he had wandered
to in his fright to flee from those brain dead maniacs.
##############################################################
*** LEMON THEATRE ***
Presenting:
La Blue "SLUT"
Episode # 69:
How many is many? A Tentacle Monster's biggest HANG up!
$$$ Insert ultra revealing poster $$$
###############################################################
"Washroom," Kurama muttered as his knees began to tremble, "I need to find
a public washroom right now!"
* * * * * *
"DAMN THAT STUPID SEXLESS WEAKLING!!!!" Shampoo growled as she sailed
through the city Via Akane Express, "the Zero Gravity is now making
Shampoo even hornier than ever! Oh, dear Buddha, if only Shampoo can find
some relief soon . . ."
And she clashed right through the thin tin-foil ceiling of a public men's
washroom . . . and onto the naked lap of a redheaded boy sitting on the
toilet. A moment of silence ensued as they stared at each other.
<HOLY bishoujo!> Kurama thought to himself, < Her eyes are so starlit and
her curves could put even Botan in shame! Why do I sense a cat's aura
within her . . . could she be a Cat Demon? All the better: demons are mush
less inhibited than those squirmish mortal girls . . . >
< HOLY bishonen!> Shampoo thought to herself, <his chin is SO MUCH more
pointed than Ranma's and his eyes have such luscious lashes . . . who cares
if he didn't seem to be a fighter! With looks like this, who needs martial
arts? >
And the spring heat torturing them from within began to burn full force.
"Do you . . ."
" . . . wanna . . ."
"AIYA!" Shampoo exclaimed as the heat reached full force, causing her to
toss off her clothes in full speed, "Just cut crap and get to it! Shampoo
NEED now!"
And the fox and the pussycat followed their mating need and went at it like
the animals that they were deep down inside.
Afterwards . . .
"So you are really a Chinese Amazon girl cursed with the magical Jusenkyo
waters to become a cat? No wonder you were feeling the rutting need like I
do."
"And you really a fox-demon reincarnated into super bishonen? Hmm . . .
this very promising indeed. Shuuichi . . . Shampoo mean Kurama, you fight?"
"I'm one of the Spirit World detectives responsible for keeping demons at
bay from this world."
"Aiya . . . Shampoo see. Say, Kurama, Shampoo too is martial artist. Want
spar with?
* * * * * *
Back in front the damaged Nekohanten, a ramen stand was being set up, as
Akane in a Chiness waitress outfit (one that looked really loose around the
chest and tight around the waist . . . guess why) was reluctantly serving
the worst possible bunch customers she could ever hope to get.
"Another kiss for old time's sake," Mikado winked, "and I'll consider
paying a 30% tip."
"You cur!" Kuno spat, "How dare you try and bribe the virtuous Akane into
performing the vile act of kissing. Fair Akane, allow my hands to taste
the sweet bliss of your muscular bosoms and the Blue Thunder shall pay
double the tip of the vile villain!
"You . . . You . . ."
"Now, now, little one," Cologne calmly reminded the girl, "remember, if
you damage Nekohanten's reputation and strike a customer, your debt will
only increase accordingly."
"Damn it all . .. RANMA! This is all your fault!"
"How so? !" Ranma-kun, who was busily serving the enthusiastic Kodachi and
Ukyou, retorted, "You were the one who broke all those things in the
restaurant, you gorilla girl!! Sometimes, I seriously wonder why I am
still engaged to a tomboy like you, when I have cute girls like Ucchan,
Shampoo and Kodachi drooling all over me already!"
"Sorry, Ranma, Shampoo already find better things to drool over than
blunt-chinned pigtailed boy."
"What da ya mean . . . What?"
Everybody was in shock, as they saw a slightly disheveled Shampoo walking
up with her arms around a stunningly sharp-chinned ultra-bishonen, who too
was looking slightly diheveled..
"Hiba-chan, this Shuuichi. He VERY good martial arts botanist who had just
knocked up. . . um . . . knocked out Shampoo in fight with moving plants.
He now Shampoo's Airen!"
"Greetings, honored elder." Kurama blushed. "With your permission, I would
like to court your . . um . .. very proper and lovely great-granddaughter."
"Look at that dish . . ." Ukyou whispered, totally in awe of Kurama's
androgynous beauty.
"Some serving women has got all the luck in the world," Kodachi sniffed
jealously.
"HEY!" Ranma protested, "What da ya mean?! **I** am the best looking man
there ever is!!"
Ignoring him, Ukyou continued on with a spark in her eyes.
"Say, I think the new transfer students from CLAMP CAMPUS is arriving by
tomorrow! I hear that not only are they all gorgeous, some of them can
actually weave incredible magic that are deadlier than any martial arts in
the world!"
"REALLY?!" Kodachi gushed. "Ohohohoho!!!! I have to talk my father into
inviting them to my mansion for a welcoming spring party right now!!"
"Count me in: there's enough of them for both of us!"
With that, the two girls left chattering excitedly about the bishonens that
were about to enter their lives.
"H-HEY!" Ranma called after them, outraged, "You haven't tipped me yet . .
. oh DARN IT!!!"
"Aiya, Shampoo so proud to have best boyfriend in skills and looks of all."
The cat girl snuggled against the fox boy while the latter chuckled with
confident modesty.
"Hmm . . ." Cologne looked the bishonen up and down, taking in his
unnatural but powerful aura. "A demon reincarnate huh? And by the looks
of thing, you had already taken Shampoo's honor . . . so to speak."
"EH?!" Kurama stepped back in shock at having his secret exposed while the
old woman smiled.
"Don't worry, child. If you make Shampoo happy, I have no objections to
your courting her. But if you don't . . ." she pointed a finger at Ranma,
miserable and working like a dog to pay back his dept, "there's an example
of what might become of you."
"Don't worry about it, elder," Kurama smiled and replied in his playful
fox demon style, "I doubt if anyone but your great-granddaughter can be as
good a companion to one such as myself. After all . . there are STILL
quite a number of Spring times in my human future."
The End?
Completely plotless, eh? Another 1 hr offering. C&C are welcome. Flames
not :)