I'm glad to see that you have corrected many of the errors in the previous
draft.
There are some things that could still use some work of course.

"Okay, she said dinner'll be ready in about a half hour, so we'd better not

stick around too long,"

Firstly, your timing here is still inadequate.

Tenchi and Keiichi both noticed the staring match going on between Urd and

Ryoko as they sat

down to eat.

You still don't have a good reason as to why Urd would be interested in
Tenchi except that you want a love triangle.

But I don't think me and the calculus professor will get along to well,

That should be ' the calc. prof and I' not the other way round.

"Well, sure," she agreed.

No, no. Her response should be 'Aright.' or something like that. "Well,
sure," just doesn't sound like her.

your identity and your sisters '

you & your sisters'

Belldandy countered.

I'd suggest pleaded instead.

Keiichi's conscious finally kicked in.

conscience

Then he lead her back

Then they went back

Belldandy yawned, "You guys ready for bed?"

Again, this doesn't sound like Bell.

That's it. Like I said, Why should Urd want Tenchi?