Adrian,

Pretty good for a first shot.  Grammer & spelling seem okay, though I
didn't do a critical read for those.

My real concern is that it's way too short, skipping development of the
characters.  When I watched Mac+, and Guld had his flashbacks during the
dogfight scene, he had already fought enough and cursed enough that it
came across as a dramatic revelation.  By contrast, Shampoo and Akane's
rivalry is told about a few times, and then Akane bites the dust.

This is expecially important for fusions, since the whole purpose of a
fusion is the characterisation of the imported characters.  More work on
making the YF-19 pilot as Shampoo, not Isamu and the YF-21 pilot as Akane,
not Guld would make this even better.

-Natsume Ranma Ranma
-------
The sardines weren't worth the trouble.  A few more shots, then 
Ryoga-san would overheat and explode.  Ducking around a corner, 
I managed to lose him as I entered the ramshackle residence of 
my Anime supplier.

One look at his face and I knew that I was betrayed.  "Tell me."
I insisted.  He refused, so I slammed him against the wall.
"Last chance.  Where can Ranma-Ranma find good fanfics?"
"Try Jason Liao." he whispered, before he slumped to the floor.
I heard the sounds of a door splintering as I left through the 
window, one step ahead of Tendo Heavy Industries...